Chapter 20: This
Yuki may have had not thought about this explicitly, but she always did consider Yuto to be hot and Aru to be cold from the very beginning.
At first glance, they were amicable and pleasant. Warm. Then once delve a little deeper, one would see Yuto's fervor and zeal and dedication. His emotions seldom never displayed so nakedly. Oftentimes, his thoughts translated into his actions; his movements were unrestrained—wild and free.
And then there was Aru with his theories and analysis and objectivity. He was calm; he was deliberate. His smiles, almost always present on his face, gave nothing away as to what was going on the inside. They were masks to help him keep a tight lid on his emotions to a nearly puritanical degree.
Yuto was self-indulgent, and Aru was abstemious.
However, it seemed to be only recently that the two boys were switched in the spectrum of hot and cold.
Yuki always thought that Aru's interests were his only drive. She hadn't bothered to speculate too deeply as to why he would willingly involve himself in her life, but she was aware that it was her life that happened to have twisting mysteries and the treacherous thrill of excitement for what a young detective could ever possibly desire. She basically created that spark in his career. She was a convenience.
But if that was the case, why would Aru extend an invitation of friendship to her? Why did he care so much? He wasn't a deceptive person; he was straightforward and honest. He wouldn't take advantage of her like that. Using the means of subterfuge was contrary to what his detective work entailed. Him setting her up on a wedding date with Yuto wasn't a sham (was it?). Him observing from the sidelines before confronting her wasn't skirting around (was it?).
Nevertheless, all that mattered to her was that Aru was the antithesis to Yuto: stable and not volatile; secure and not precarious; subtle and not blatant. His eyes were muted in those ruby orbs, unlike Yuto's pale gaze that alternated frenetically from fiery and adoring to frigid and loathing. And he seemed to always know how to say the right words given any situation. So it didn't matter to her if Aru only intended to take from her; in a way, she was taking from him too.
But then Yuki would look at Yuto and realize that he was being motivated by a purpose as well. Yuto was the one who she truly wanted to learn the answers to. Why? Why, why, why? Why her? Why the infatuation? Why go to the lengths of risking his life for hers? Why? She knew what Yuto was simple in his answer—he loved, loved, loved her—but it just wasn't enough. Yuki didn't question Aru's reasoning, but she questioned Yuto's.
Yuki knew that behind that veil of what was Yuto was something darker. Acting for the sake of love was a commendable and uncomplicated purpose, but they weren't Marco and Ai. Yuto was…a singularity in his path, and Yuki was just in his reach. She wasn't a convenience to him, but a person to cling onto in a sinking ship. They were drowning in this codependence—no, Yuto was drowning her. What about Yuto? Yuto was taking, taking, taking the most he could get before their time together was up. He was dark; he was wretched.
So what did that make Aru in this scenario? The captain trying to maintain order? The gentlemanlike passenger ushering her to one of the lifeboats? Or perhaps he was never on the ship to begin with because he was outside of Yuki and Yuto's realm. He wasn't part of this inane game of survival; he was never with them to begin with.
And yet here he was—a dry and hot hand clamped around her wrist, back erect in alertness, presence guiding her along the way.
She was cracks and shards, and she turned to apathy when her grief capsized. She was still scared of death, but she was tired of crying.
In her apathy, Yuto had sidled next to her with ghost rivulets of blood streaming down his pale skin. He had donned a tender smile and had caressed her cheeks with his callused fingers. "Yuki," he had said, "don't look at anyone. Don't look at Akise Aru. Just look at me only. I'm all that you need."
His fingers had been cold.
And here was Aru, rasping, "I worked hard. For you, Yuki. I worked hard because you were with me." He abruptly halted in his steps, Yuki colliding against his form. His face was lowered, his bangs curtaining his eyes. "I knew I shouldn't have let you in so close—that would've been dangerous. But I did."
He slowly turned around to face her and lifted his chin. His muted ruby eyes stared down at her. "I don't understand how or why…but I know that I love you, Yuki."
His hand cupped her jaw-line. Warmth emanated and flooded into her skin. Yuki leaned into his touch, and Aru's face softened.
"I don't want to lose you. I can't."
AN: So Yukiyori became resigned and apathetic, unlike how Yukiteru became belligerent and driven by his desire to resurrect his parents. Yukiyori was largely influenced by Akise. Now, why was it that Yukiyori was more receptive to Akise than Yukiteru was? My story is, after all, a speculation as to what Yukiteru and Yuno would do if their genders were switched, so here's my crude interpretation: Yukiteru saw Akise as a friend, but, with him being a pubescent boy, his "primal instincts" told him to go with the sexy girl; she was crazy, but she had the hots for him, so why not? As for Yukiyori, she had two fine male specimens vying for her attention, but since Akise was obviously the more stable one she went with him. Although, Yuto exemplified on several occasions that he was a capable protector, so Yukiyori couldn't help but switch back and forth between guys.