Chapter 6 - I Want My Dogs

After Peter had successfully brought Carter back into the Christmas spirit, the Christmas Carnival was brought back at the Quahog Mall. The Griffins were in line for Stewie to see Santa, and they were next in line. However, Vinny had noticed that Stewie was wearing a sad expression on his face.

"What's wrong with you, Stews?" he asked, getting Stewie's attention. "You're next up to see the big guy himself and you look like a piece of spaghetti on the street."

"Where are you from again?" Stewie asked.

Vinny answered, "The Manton Avenue section of North Providence. Used to be heavily-attired, now lousy with Dominicans."

Peter, however, was amazed. "Oh, this Christmas Carnival has everything," he said. "Games, food... Oh, my God, it's the carolers from A Christmas Story."

Said Asian carolers were singing "Deck the Halls", but were having troubles with their L and R sounds.

"That's right, America," Peter addressed the viewers. "Don't forget: your beloved holiday movie is incredibly racist."

"And flom not that rong ago," a caroler added.

Back to Stewie and Vinny.

"You got everything you wanted here, Stewie," Vinny shrugged. "What's your problem?"

"I don't know," Stewie answered. "I thought having the carnival back would make me happy, but it still feels like something's missing."

"Yeah, it's always something," Vinny replied. "Like when I finally got to sleep with Mary Lou Gallo. She had a look, but when you got up close, she also had a smell."

"Oh, Stewie, you're next," Lois said, bringing her infant son to the Mall Santa's lap. It was now time.

"Ho, ho, ho," the Mall Santa began. "Mall Santa is brought to you in part this season by Chipotle. Between good and garbage, it's Chipotle. So, what do you want for Christmas?"

"Oh, what do I want for Christmas?" Stewie asked himself. "What do I want for Christmas?"

Stewie looked around him, seeing the remote flyer planes on display, some toys being rung up at the toy store cashier, his father being pushed by a couple teenagers, who then tossed his hat back and forth, then at the game store, and the gift-wrapping department. All of this seemed to be a bit too much for Stewie.

"I'll tell you what I don't want for Christmas," Stewie said. "All this cheap plastic junk. Do you know what I want for Christmas?" he continued, this time, with a sad look on his face. "I want my friends back."

"Your friends?" the Mall Santa repeated.

"Yes," Stewie replied. "My best friends. My dogs, Brian, Barbara and their four puppies. Both of the parents are dead, and their puppies were sold away. It's our first Christmas without any of them and no one's even mentioned them."

What Stewie just said hurt Vinny emotionally, now thinking about the puppies.

"I don't care about this stupid carnival or Christmas," Stewie continued. "I don't care about anything except Brian, Barbara and the puppies. I want my dogs." With that, he shed tears of grief.

"You want me to put a couple dead dogs under your tree?" the Mall Santa asked, confused.

"Yes," Stewie answered, still sniffling. "And, uh, I-I'd like a bike, too."

On that, Stewie saw that two parents had bought their son a bike. The rest of the human family members were sad about what their youngest member said.

That night in the living room, Stewie was alone watching The Year Without a Santa Claus or Sex, still wearing his sad expression.

"Hello, Stewie," Vinny greeted, also still sad.

"Oh," Stewie greeted back. "Hey, Vinny. What brings you here?"

"I've been thinking about what you said to the Mall Santa today, and, well... I'm back to missing the puppies now." He hung his head in shame. "I...I tried my very best to take care of them," he sniffled, "and... I-I miss them a lot now."

"I know, Vinny," Stewie understood. "I miss them, too. Not a day goes by that I look for friends to play with. But what what I miss more... are Brian and Barbara. And it's tough for me that they're gone, too, especially around the holidays."

Pause.

"I wanted to give this to the puppies for Christmas," Vinny replied, handing Stewie a box, "but I figured you better have it, since they ain't around no more."

Stewie opened the box, and saw that there was a severed foot in there.

"What the hell?" Stewie gasped. "There's a foot in this box!"

"That...was meant to go to somebody else," Vinny realized in fear. "I'm very sorry."

Cutaway: We see a mob underboss and his gang in an Italian restaurant. He showed his group the box Vinny meant to give the puppies.

"Well, my friends," the underboss began, "I think Johnny "The Foot" Giatelli is dead."

He opened the box and saw that there was a train in there.

"Oh, no," he continued. "They killed Frankie "Choo-Choo" Chinelli instead."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute," one of the mobsters halted. "You sure that's what this means? Could be they killed Davey "The Box" Frateli."

The rest oohed.

"Hold on," another mobster said, "it could also be they killed Jimmy "Tissue Paper" Scungili."

"I just saw Jimmy yesterday at my kid's christening," the third mobster replied.

"So maybe it wasn't Jimmy," the first mobster agreed. "Maybe this means they killed Anthony "The Air Around the Box" Minetti," he continued while picking the box up before he got shot in the head.

"Oh, no!" the second mobster shouted. "They killed Sal "Holding The Box That We Can't Figure Out What The Box Means" Casella!"

Back to the living room. Vinny slightly got into a better mood, then.

"I got you this, too," Vinny said, handing Stewie a thin box.

Stewie opened it and saw that it was... "A bowling shirt?"

"You can wear it anywhere," Vinny replied. "To the beach, a wedding on the beach, beach graduation, beach funeral, business conference which could be at a beach, a stroll through the park, should that park be adjacent to a beach."

"Thanks," Stewie said, unimpressed.

"What, you don't like it?" Vinny asked. "How's about we go to the mall and pick out something you do like?"

"Well," Stewie began, "I suppose I could browse the toy store. Possibly pick up a new action figure."

"And maybe something for me to get my mind off of the puppies," Vinny added. "We'll head on back to the mall first thing tomorrow morning."

"Yeah," Stewie agreed. "It's a good thing the Carnival lasts for the next few days."

Author's Note: Some of the fanfic is combined from the animatic and the actual episode. The part where Stewie looked around while on the Mall Santa's lap and says that he didn't want "all this cheap plastic junk" can also be found as a Deleted Scene for the episode. I intend to put some of the deleted scenes into the story, with the exception of this one scene where Vinny says that he rented a Prius to be like Brian and smells a silent fart, then asking Stewie if he farted.