Chapter 7 - The Stewie from the Past

The following morning, the Griffins decided to head back to the mall. They okay'd his request to guide Stewie to the toy store to pick out something he wanted.

"Okay, Stewie," he said to his infant friend. "Pick anything you want, on me."

"I dunno," Stewie disagreed. "I hate the toy store this close to Christmas. It's always been picked clean."

"There's plenty of good stuff here," Vinny said, looking around before noticing a couple bookends on a shelf and picking them up. "Look at this, heavy bronze sheep bookends. What kid wouldn't want to play with these?" He acted out a scene. "'Bah. What are you looking at?' 'Not much. That's what I'm looking at.' 'You want to have a go?' ' I'd watch what I say with that other sheep right behind you.'" He turned one of the bookends before knocking it down with the other one. Stewie's eyes widened. "I played this when I was a puppy. Course, I had to do it with ash trays, but I think that sheep is better."

Stewie looked away. "Wait a minute," he said, noticing a similarly-sized child wearing a stocking cap and a grey jacket carrying a blue box. He followed the child around the store "Who is that?" he wondered. "I think I know that boy."

Vinny, who picked up a baseball bat from a box of toys, couldn't help but notice Stewie wandering around, and he followed Stewie until he crept behind a toy rack.

"Vinny," he said, pointing to the child. "That stocking cap. It's mine." He finally realized the kid holding the blue box, which was a brand new Jolly Farm Revue set. "That boy is me." He realized something else. "Of course! It's me from the past. Vinny, I never told Brian or Barbara about this before they died, or the puppies before they were sold, but several months ago, I time-traveled ahead to purchase that Christmas toy."

"I don't understand," Vinny replied, "so, I'm angry and hungry. I'm gonna go punch a sandwich."

With that, Vinny walked away to do his business, leaving Stewie to spy on his past self, watching from behind the rack.

The past Stewie brought the toy up to the cashier to ring it up.

"Wow," the cashier worker said, picking up the toy, "good timing, little fella. This just came out today." "Yeah," the past Stewie chuckled, "I kind of knew that already."

"Would you like to donate an extra dollar to the Quahog Food Bank?" the worker asked.

The past Stewie answered, "Oh, sure. And would you like to come home and clean my toilet, while we're both doing stuff for each other?"

"The time machine return pad is in the backpack that other Stewie is wearing," Stewie whispered. "I must get my hands on it, Vinny." A second of silence. "Vinny?"

The dog in question just came back after a fight with a black eye and ruffed-up fur.

"That was a tough sandwich," he said, brushing off.

"As tough as your mom's fat face," a meatball sub behind Vinny added.

"Hey, leave my mother out of this," Vinny replied, clenching his paws. "That woman stitched gloves 'til she was ninety."

"I heard she was good with her hands."

"Nice," Vinny replied, sarcastically. "Hey, everybody, we got a funny sandwich here." Vinny then scoffed the sandwich. "Screw you."

"Vinny," Stewie whispered, getting his attention. "I need you to get that Stewie to take off his backpack."

"Listen, Stewie," Vinny shrugged, "I'm not following."

"I don't have time to explain," Stewie argued. "I've got to steal something..."

"That's it," Vinny halted, "you already explained. You got to steal something." Vinny started to walk to the past Stewie. "Got it."

"Wait a second," Stewie halted back. "What's your plan."

"Trust me," Vinny assured. "I think I know you well enough to distract the other you."

Vinny then got back to walking to the past Stewie.

After Vinny cleaned himself up, he leaned against a column and got the past Stewie's attention.

"Hey, how you doing? This may sound a little presumptuous of me, but, uh, you ever do any modeling?"

"Well, not professionally," Stewie answered, "but I have thought about it."

"You ought to," Vinny assured. "What are you, like, six-three? Six-four?"

"You're in you're in the ballpark," Stewie replied. "I carry myself taller. Good posture, very important."

"Oh, I agree," Vinny replied. "Let me see, let me see."

With that, Stewie started posing.

"That's good," Vinny said, paw under his chin. "But I feel like the backpack might be hiding some figure flaws."

Stewie chuckled. "Well, that is where you are wrong, my friend." He continued to pose away, unaware of his present counterpart getting the return pad out of the backpack before running off. After posing, he continued, "You know, my friends ask me, 'Stewie, why do you throw up after every meal?'" He undid the snaps on his overalls and posed again. "This. This is why."

The trio were unaware that two shadowy figures have been watching from outside the toy store from behind a giant pot where a tree rested.

Author's Note: Who are these two shadowy figures? Find out in the next chapter.