Mal woke up and got out of bed. He hated mornings so much. It was so warm in bed but it was so cold out of it. It would be so much better if the real world was warm like a bed. Then he wouldn't mind getting up so much. Del had made coffee for everyone and it was on the table of the motel. Mal sipped his cup and it was cold.
Apparently Del had made coffee hours before anybody else had woken up and now it was cold.
"Del why do you have to be like this." Mal asked and Del shrugged as she stirred her cold coffee with her crowbar.
"I don't know Mal, why are you the way that you are?"
"Mental illness, probably?" Mal answered after a moment of thought.
"Haha, same." Del nodded.
Wes rolled out of bed and fell on the floor with a dramatic and annoying groan, "Same," They said as they woke up.
Wes came over and chugged all of the cold coffee and then drank Mal's cup too.
"Where's Professor Shape?" Mal asked.
"He's sleeping on the couch. He cried himself to sleep last night," Wes informs their siblings as they grabbed a saucepan from the kitchen cupboard of the motel and opened up a container of instant coffee and emptied the entire jar into it.
Wes passed the saucepan with coffee in it to Del who filled it up with water and set it on the stove to boil.
"Why did he cry himself to sleep?" Mal asked with disgust.
Wes rolled their eyes and said, "Because he's got a broken heart over our younger brother leaving us because Del knocked his arm off."
Del screamed and smashed all of the mugs on the table with her crowbar, "IT WASN'T MY FAULT WE HAD TO SAVE HIS LIFE!"
Mal patted her on the shoulder and shushed her, "It's okay we know baby we know."
On the couch Shape began to cry in his sleep and started choking when he swallowed his saliva wrong.
"Ugh." Said Mal. "He acts like he's the only who's got a broken heart on this road trip."
Mal thought forlornly of his boyfriend who was thousands of miles away. Del began to weep silently when she thought of Van her alien boyfriend, she wasn't even sure if he was still alive. Wes thought of the broken pickle jar from when their journey first began, then of General Tango as an afterthought.
"Hey guys." Mal said as he got a spoon and stirred the brewing coffee, sipping it from the spoon to test the flavour, "I have a crazy idea."
"That never stopped you before." Said Del.
"We could send a postcard to all of our boyfriends!"
Wes slammed their fist into the saucepan and sent the boiling coffee flying through the room. It fell on Professor Shape and he woke up screaming.
"That's a great idea!" Wes screamed. "We have to go shopping to buy some christmas cards and presents!"
Everyone cheered and Professor Shape woke up with a start.
"Professor Shape, drive us to the nearest shopping mall!" Del ordered and everyone leapt to their feet.
Professor Shape saluted her and ran off to start the car.
When they got to the mall they gave Shape a list of things to buy. He went to a shop to buy the things from the list whilst the triplets headed to a decorations shop.
Mal picked up a shopping basket and swung it around in the air playfully, but accidentally beaned an employee in the head with it. The employee fell to the floor with a bang and began to sleep.
"Ugh, sleeping on the job huh?" Mal scoffed and rolled his eyes, "What a loser."
They walked around the shop and piled loads and loads of tinsel and fairy lights and baubles into the basket.
Wes gasped suddenly, "We need a tree!"
They quickly got to the tree isle and Wet found the biggest tree in the whole shop and picked up the box. "This one!"
Del helped Wes carry the giant box. "It's perfect!"
"Hang on guys," Mal said seriously. "We need a star for the top of the tree!"
Del smashed herself in the forehead with her hand, "Of course!"
They ran back to the decorations section and got the first star they found and threw it into the basket. It made a smashing sound but they shrugged it off as they went to go and walk out of the store.
Alarms began to scream as they walked out of the shop.
"Cheese it!" Mal screamed and they began to sprint away while Wes and Del struggled to run with the tree.
They hid behind a trash can while the shops workers ran past.
"Haha we lost them!" Wes said. "Hey look there's Shape!"
Sure enough, Professor Shape was walking towards them carrying plastic bags of the food and drink and presents they had asked him to buy.
"Wow they let you keep the shopping basket?" Shape asked as he looked at the shopping basket that Mal carried.
"Yeah..." Mal nodded.
Next they went to the post office and got cards and wrote them to General Tango, Van the Alien and Frank the bouncer/bartender.
"Damn, another one for the aliens?" the post office worker smirked as he looked at the letters.
He threw the letters into the post box for them and said. "It should get to them within an hour or so."
Mal Wes and Del huddled and agreed that they should go back to the motel and put up their decorations.
"DONE!"They all screamed once they'd finished decorating their room.
Tinsel lined every single surface in the entire room. Shape turned on the fairy lights and the heat made the tinsel catch fire and the triplets screamed. Wes and Mal tried to stamp out the fire and Del punched Shape in the face.
Once they put the fire out everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
"Wow." Said Shape as he looked around at all the food and decorations. "It almost looks like we're going to have a party or something."
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
Mal giggled and went to open it and gasped when he saw Frank standing there.
"Frank!" Mal screamed and leapt into Frank's arms and began to kiss him mercilessly.
Then Van the alien walked in and put his tentacle on Damp's shoulder (the alien equivalent of foreplay)
Sol stamped into the room and immediately showed Shape his new pet Squinky the octopus and then Sol began to dance to the music that Shape put on. Wes sat sadly until General Tango salsa'd through the door with a bouquet of flowers for Wes.
"Oh hey it's you." Wes shrugged and began to drink some alcohol.
"It's great to see you my love!" General Tango cheered and tried to kiss Wes who made barfing noises.
"Sorry Tango I don't want to be with you." Wes said boredly.
"Oh my god same, thank god." General Tango sighed. "Nice."
The two high fived and then had a drinking contest.
Del watched as Sol began to breakdance on the motel table and then smirked.
"Hey Mal, Wes!" She called them over, still smirking. "Looks like our little bro is trying to outdance the pros."
Wes stood next to Del and crossed their arms, looking down their nose at Sol (which was kind of awkward since Sol was on a table.). Mal stood on the other side of Del and laughed condescendingly.
"Well, looks like it's time to learn our little brother a thing?" Mal huffed and snapped his fingers, "Frank! Get the disco lights!"
Frank set up a disco light and Del began her classic ballroom dancing. Mal ripped off his clothes and Wes frowned.
"I'm supposed to be breakdancing, but Sol is breakdancing so obviously I can't do that." Then they suddenly gasped, "Salsa!"
Wes began to salsa dance furiously and enthusiastically to the beat while Del spun around with her arms spread out and Mal sprayed champagne all over his body. Suddenly Sol got distracted by the better dancers that were his siblings and fell off the table and broke his one remaining arm.
He screamed and cried and professor Shape quickly rushed him out of the room so they could go to the nearest hospital.
Mal laughed, "Haha I guess we won that then!"
Everyone cheered.
tthis is the first part of thte christmas special haha :) wet