"You seem convinced that you've changed dramatically over the years that we've known each other, and I was inclined to think so too, but boy was I wrong-you're more arrogant than ever!"

A stung Lee leaned against the kitchen counter, rubbed the back of his neck, and tried to process what he felt was his wife's unprovoked verbal assault on him.

"Hey, you're not being fair here, I've definitely evolved-"

"Evolved? Hmmph! When I first met you, you didn't hesitate to brag about being the greatest agent in Agency history." He had the good-grace to look slightly embarrassed, yet she was on a roll and she didn't let up on him. "If you've 'evolved', it's only in that you now believe that you have godlike powers."

"What? Where did that come from," he demanded indignantly.

"You said it yourself, you and you alone had the power to prevent Jessica's death…and I suppose Agent Murphy's as well, even though he'd sold out, but since you're omnipotent you should have-"

"Should have done what? I'm only human."

"Precisely my point, you're just one man…one agent…and even though you are one of the best, you had no control over all the variables in this case. You couldn't have known that Murphy was dirty, he'd been your friend years ago."

She knew that she was getting through to him, his angry countenance had morphed into a more contemplative one, and he no longer appeared poised for further combat.

"We were never friends; we began our careers in the early seventies, and attended many of the same inter-agency seminars. After hours, we hung out in the same bars and pursued invitations to the same upper crust parties, but I never thought of him as a friend."

"You barely knew Murphy, so you couldn't have vouched for his integrity."

"Amanda, I can see where you're headed with this, but while I didn't implicitly vouch for him, I did give Jessica his name when I told her that we couldn't help her with her problem. She trusted me enough to ask for my help, and what did I do, I handed her off to someone I hadn't seen in years."

"You had no choice, she's a…was a pharmacist in a DC hospital. The improprieties that Jessica stumbled onto didn't fall into the Agency's jurisdiction. We couldn't personally help her, and so our only option was to tell her that she needed to discuss her suspicions with a DEA agent. You didn't turn your back on her; you gave her the name of someone who was more than qualified to help her." He can't argue with that logic, although I was surprised by how easily he hooked Jessica up with Murphy and moved on with our own cases. It isn't like him to not try to wheedle an Agency connection to a case so that he could help someone that he knows.

"Yeah, I played this one by the book, but that isn't like me at all. I've never been a by the book kinda guy…I'm a rule-bender by nature, but lately I've been avoiding taking on extra cases and I'm more than willing to work a nine to five day and then head home. If-"

"Life is full of what ifs, but we can't obsess over every choice that we make, it isn't healthy."

"Healthy? Is being shot full of holes good for one's health," Lee demanded as he closed the distance between himself and Amanda. "Two people were shot to death on my watch last night." He raked a hand through his hair and planted himself in front of her.

"And now you're going to mourn the death of a corrupt federal agent? Jessica is dead because Murphy blackmailed her into bringing all the evidencethat she had against him and his cohorts to that parking lot. As soon as we knew for sure that he was on the take, we stepped in and told Jessica to stay away from him, and if she'd listened to us-"

"So now you're blaming the victim-they'd grabbed her sister, and she had no choice but to do whatever he told her to do."

"That's why her death is my fault," Amanda said brokenly, while hanging her head. "When Jessica came to us and said that Murphy was giving her the creeps, I thought that she was just being skittish because she wasn't dealing with an agent that she knew personally. I was so deeply into agent-mode that I didn't take her concerns about his questionable behavior seriously. If-"

"Hold it right there," he lifted her chin and forced her to look at him. "According to your rules, 'ifs' are out of bounds. Initially, I agreed with you about Jessica's uneasiness with Murphy, it wasn't until she told us that he flatly refused to meet with her in the DEA building or accept phone calls from her there that I couldn't ignore my instincts any longer. To some degree, we both failed her and she wouldn't be dead-"

"If she hadn't been setup by a corrupt agent and shot down by drug dealers who cold-bloodedly murdered both of them. They're the people who have blood on their hands, not us," she declared, as she tenderly grasped his hands and held them tightly.

"You're right." He rubbed her hands with his thumbs, and gently grazed her lips with his own. "But I'm still not sure that I have the same appetite for this business that I used to."

"This whole mess is too fresh for us to make any big determinations about our careers right now. Speaking of appetites, we have a hungry teen upstairs, and I think we should get him to come down here so that we can all have a proper breakfast."

They all still had a lot of issues to deal with, but they'd been building up over time and they'd take time to address properly.

Author's note: Thank you for your indulgence as it took me longer to complete this story than I'd anticipated. I hope you enjoyed the journey. I think I'll stick to one-shots for a while…if you're still interesting in following my stories.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!