I don't own Chuck. Actually, I don't own much of anything.

This is not new content. In fact, it is almost ten years old. This is the chapter that will probably change the most. Sarah Walker doesn't cry. She makes other people cry. There will maybe be a little more description of things that were implied in the original.

Look, I get that interest in things Chuck has waned. That's as it should be. So, while I'd always love to hear from you, I'm not doing this for hits or reviews. I'm doing this for me. Hopefully you can enjoy it as well.

Fallout

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck and Sarah drove to Casey's apartment in silence. Sarah knew that there was something wrong, she just wasn't sure what. He couldn't be jealous. They had already talked about that. He was fine. Besides that, nothing happened that he hadn't seen before. Sure, she kissed Smith but how could he even know? Even if he did know, surely he would understand that, wouldn't he? Maybe Carina said something to upset him. They were in the parking lot. It was the last time to talk until after the briefing. "Chuck?" she asked softly. "Is there something wrong?"

Chuck didn't deny that there was something wrong. "Can we talk about it after the meeting?" he asked sadly. "I really don't think I'm up to it right now."

"Chuck," Sarah said. "Sweetie, if there's something wrong I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me. I won't be able to concentrate in the briefing knowing that you're upset with me. And I always need to be on my toes with Beckman. You know whatever it is; you can talk to me about it."

"I'm not upset with you," Chuck replied. "Don't worry. It's nothing like that. I'm just a little down. I'd rather wait until we have the time to really talk. Do you mind if I take a quick shower and meet you at Casey's?"

"That will be fine," Sarah replied. "I'll see you there in a few minutes." As Chuck was walking away, Sarah called to him. "Chuck… I love you."

Normally, her saying that would have generated an immediate response. The very fact that he paused at all told Sarah everything she needed to know. "I love you too," Chuck finally said as he continued walking.

x-x-x-x-x

The second that Sarah entered Casey's apartment, she stepped up to him. "What's wrong with Chuck?" she asked. "Did Carina say something to upset him?"

Casey made no effort to keep the annoyance from his tone. "Before or after she tried to get him in bed?" he asked sarcastically. "Actually, she wasn't planning on making it to the bed. She jumped him on the couch. You ought to be very proud of your boy. Carina's perfect seduction record is history. Trust me, she threw every trick she has at him and he didn't budge. Any other guy, including me, would have been all over her."

Sarah smiled. "I was pretty sure that she might try something like that. It was predictable. Chuck would never betray me. I had zero fear of that."

"Then why would you put him through some bullshit test?" Casey asked angrily. "That seems cruel."

"This was Chuck's idea," Sarah protested. "He wanted to talk to her. It wasn't my test. I don't need to test Chuck. I know where he's at. I warned him that something like this was going to happen."

"It still seems stupid and unnecessary," Casey growled. "But I don't think that's why he is down. After he shot her down, they started talking. She told him that there was no way he could ever be sure that you loved him. She said that if you were just trying to control your asset, you'd act the same way and he'd never be able to know the difference. Then she moved in for the kill. She told him that he might wake up one morning and you'd be gone and he'd have no way to begin to look for you. He'd never see you again."

Sarah's heart sank. Now she understood Chuck's mood. Of all the bad things that Carina could have told him, that was the worst. It was a simply horrible thought. "No," she whispered.

Casey squared off on Sarah. "Let me ask you a question," he snapped. "You know that I'm not a big fan of this relationship thing. But, against my better judgement, I covered for you. You owe me the unvarnished truth. Let me be brutally honest. If you're playing him I'm going to be pissed. He's a decent kid… and no one deserves that. You should be straight with him and request reassignment. What happens to Chuck when he finds out that you've been messing with him? He went on a five year jag when his other girlfriend dumped him. This would be ten times worse. Who could recover from a Sarah Walker heartbreak?"

In spite of the near panic at the situation, Sarah couldn't help but smile. In a left-handed way, he had just given her a compliment. Casey could deny it all he wanted. In his own emotionally stunted way, he loved Chuck just as much as she did. "Casey," she said softly. "It's sweet that you worry about him. I worry about him too. He has serious problems. But I'm not one of them. The last thing I would ever do is break his heart. I honestly love him. If anyone hurt him like you're saying, I would hunt them down and tear them apart with my bare hands. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together. But you'd have to admit, this situation is complicated. We have to keep him safe… and keep the powers that be from taking him underground."

Casey still wasn't satisfied. "That's good," he said. "But if you're going to stick around, I think that you need to be honest with the kid. I heard you and Jim Smith tonight. I heard you tell him that you were playing your asset. I also heard you make plans to take him to your hotel room. Then you kissed him. Now I know all that was just for cover. But Chuck doesn't know that. It's probably all going to come out in the debriefing. I'm sure that is going to mess with his head."

"Chuck does know that," Sarah protested. "He knew everything that I was going to do with Smith and why. Maybe he doesn't know about the details of what happened tonight yet. But we talked about the possibilities and were both prepared for it to be much worse. He heard every detail of what happened in the van the other night with that white supremacist. Chuck is on board with what I have to do. Maybe he doesn't like it… but who would? Casey, this is complicated. In our current situation, neither of us have any choice. We're dealing with it as best we can. The truth is that I'm very proud of him. I'm not messing with Chuck. I'm in love with him. I have been for a long time. I'm never going to leave."

Finally Casey was satisfied. "You'd better find some way to prove that to him," he said. "Or we're going to have a sad, pathetic asset to deal with for a while."

x-x-x-x-x

When Chuck arrived at Casey's, Casey and Sarah were already talking to Washington. "So," Beckman said. "Let me get this straight, Agent Walker. Agent Smith is trying to recruit you into joining Fulcrum? He is going to introduce you to the regional commander? After only a single meeting? That was a foolish mistake on his part. Are we sure that this isn't a trap? Why would he be so reckless?"

Sarah considered the question. The real truth was awkward with Chuck standing right there, especially since he was already depressed. But this had the potential to be a huge win. Beckman was skeptical. She had to be convinced. "We can't be completely sure," Sarah began hesitantly. "But I'm reasonably confident. Smith was obviously quite… um… enamored. So I played on that. I cried on his shoulder that my career was going nowhere. I told him that I was bored with my current assignment, disgusted with the agency, and would be grateful to get out of here. Smith offered to help. He didn't admit that he was talking about Fulcrum, but he did describe a group within the intelligence community that was going in a different direction. He offered to introduce me to the regional commander as long as I would show him my, umm, my gratitude later. I agree, ma'am. If he had been thinking rationally, he would never have done it. I had to make sure that all he is thinking about is his… well, his reward. I kissed him and made sure he knew how grateful I would be. I'm very confident that he's going to want me to pay off."

Beckman actually started laughing. "Very resourceful," she praised. "That's really using your head… and the rest of your body as well. What is your plan tomorrow?"

"I'm picking him up tomorrow at 8:00," Sarah replied. "He is taking me for the meet. Then he is planning on coming with me back to my place for the rest of the night."

"Major Casey," Beckman said. "Make arrangements to tail Walker and Smith. Take the Intersect along to see if he flashes on anybody. As soon as we've identified the location of the Fulcrum commander and Walker is safely gone, we'll raid whatever facility they meet in. Maybe there will be other Fulcrum agents there as well. As soon as we have them in custody and can no longer be covert, you can apprehend Smith. We'll bring in Agent Miller for questioning and if we're convinced she's clean, we'll be done with this. I don't have to tell you what a huge opportunity this is. We have a great chance to deal Fulcrum a severe blow. I don't want this opportunity to pass. You have your orders. Dismissed."

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah waited until they were back in her room. That's what Chuck wanted, a private place to talk. The silence was deafening. Finally, she couldn't stand the tension another second. "I'm not playing you," she said softly. "I promise. I know what Carina told you. And, yes, I denied it for a long time. It's even true that I probably wouldn't have allowed us to happen except that it was affecting our performance. But none of that changes the fact that I've been in love with you for a year now. I was suffering from my stupid decision just as much as you were. The past few days have been the best of my life."

"Sarah," Chuck said sadly. "Carina said that's exactly what you would say if you were playing a role. I desperately want to believe you. But Carina told me that I can't."

Sarah paused for a long moment. It was probably the first time in her life that she was honestly ashamed of being a spy. She had done some pretty horrible things in her career. She had killed countless people. But all of those things were for the greater good. Here was this nice, decent man, who was now being told that he couldn't trust the woman that he was in love with. It was a horrible thought. "Listen to me," she finally said. "What Carina told you is technically true. Spies are trained to get close to men. Sometimes those assignments last for months. I've never done it but it happens. If I wanted to play someone and convince them that I was in love with them, I probably could. But I think that you know me too well. I don't think I could fool you, in fact, I'm sure of it. I was trying to fool you for a year into believing that I wasn't in love with you. Did you buy it?"

Chuck's face finally broke into a smile… a faint smile, true… but it was definitely a smile. He stepped up and wrapped his arms around her. "I never bought it," he said. "Sarah, I'm sorry. You shouldn't ever have to defend yourself to me. That was unacceptable."

Sarah was far too happy to feel anything but relieved. It was an awful situation that they were in. It was so complicated that she was having a hard time keeping it straight in her head. She was asking him to put up with things that no man should ever be asked to put up with. So she returned his warm embrace. "You're doing your best," she said. "That means you get tons of slack from me."

"That's not all that Carina told me," Chuck said as they continued to embrace. "She said that you were the best agent, mostly because you didn't have anything to lose. Now you have something to lose. Sarah, am I hurting your career? I know how important that is to you."

For the second time tonight, Sarah was honestly ashamed… this time of herself. He didn't know… because she hadn't told him. Being a CIA Agent was the only adult life she had ever known. She lived for the excitement of the next mission. But that was over. And the truth was, she was glad that it was over. She was no longer a CIA Agent… not really. Oh, she still had the title and ID. Fighting for the greater good was still a noble cause. But her loyalty had changed. Now she was a Chuck Bartowski Agent. He was her first and last priority. That would be true for the rest of her life. She simply had to find a way to get over her hang ups and let him know that. And the fact was, Carina was wrong. Maybe she had something to lose now… something wonderful… but there was a fact she wasn't considering. You'd fight ten times harder to protect someone you loved. "Don't worry about that," she said. "You're much more important than my career. You have been for a long time."

That clearly made an impression on Chuck, because he squeezed her even tighter. "Thank you," he said.

They just stayed there, holding each other in the middle of the room, for a long time. "So far, I'm not digging your talk with Carina," Sarah finally teased. "Is there anything else I should add to the list when I kick her ass?"

Chuck paused for a moment to consider the question. "She told me that the people in the real world haven't treated you very well. She said that has made you think of the job as your life. I agree that it's a very important job. But I can picture another job that's just as important. Picture there's a baby girl taking her first steps. Her mother needs to be there to catch her when she falls… to take her to her first day of school and calm her fears… to make her know that everything is okay when it thunders… to teach her about clothes and boys and the difference between being sexy and being slutty… maybe even teach her how to throw a knife. That job is every bit as important as being an agent."

Sarah continued to hold on tight.

"You've probably guessed that I hope that little girl is my daughter too," Chuck continued. "Sarah, I know that this is uncomfortable for you. I'm not going to press you about it tonight. I just want to tell you something. You've done your duty to your country. You've done more than any ten people put together. Now it's time for you. The one good thing that Carina told me is that I should love you to death. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. I know I can't promise you exciting missions. I can't promise you that you won't ever feel hurt or sad. Life just doesn't work like that. What I can promise you is that you'll always, always be the most loved person on the planet… no matter what… forever."

Wow. Was that the most romantic speech in the history of the world, or what? And the best part… he truly meant it. Sarah looked up at Chuck. "I'd like that," she said through the tears she was blinking away. "Chuck, I'm sorry this is so hard for me. I want those things more than you do. I want you to feel just as loved. Can you be patient with me?"

"I can be very patient," Chuck sighed. "I don't expect this to happen overnight. In our current situation, I don't think that's even possible. All I ask is that we agree that's what we're fighting for"

"We agree," Sarah said. "At least Carina told you something good. Maybe I can pull back on the ass kicking a little. Did she tell you anything else?"

Chuck already had her zipper lowered and her dress half off. "She told me to double down on the tongue thing," he teased. "I think that was pretty good advice."

Okay, so maybe Carina would be spared an ass kicking… this time. Chuck taking the lead in the physical department would probably always be an instant turn on for her. Their tongues dancing had Sarah beyond the capacity for rational thought. She barely recognized that he had carried her to the bed and was already kissing his way down her stomach. She had to resist the strong temptation to push on his head to get him to hurry. That was just her normal need to control the situation. He was doing fine all on his own. And he plainly wasn't going to hurry anyway. In fact he was going to slowly and lovingly get her to the edge and keep her there for a long, long time before finally allowing her to scream out her release… partly to prove that he could… partly because he enjoyed listening to her helplessly moan… but mostly because he loved her. All she could do was sigh.

"It was very good advice."

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck was stirring in that half-awake, half asleep zone. He felt the most contented that he could ever remember. It was another of those simply amazing dreams. He willed himself to go back to sleep to finish it. Then Sarah stirred and her hair tickled his chest. He opened his eyes and took in her beauty. It wasn't a dream. Someday maybe he'd get used to this. Then he realized why he was awake. There was a pounding at the door.

Chuck looked over at Sarah. It was a testament to her contentment that he had wakened to the sound before the seasoned spy.

He was about half way to the door when he heard her voice. "You know that you're naked?" she asked.

Chuck looked back and saw that Sarah had already sprung into action. She had pulled on his t-shirt. Her gun was in her hand, trained at the door.

Chuck wrapped a sheet around his waist. When he looked into the spy hole, his shoulders noticeably sagged. "Come in," he said. "You're going to wake up the neighbors."

"Hi, Chuck," Bryce said. "It's good to see you."

"Sarah, would you mind not pointing your gun at me?"

x-x-x-x-x