Pieces of the Truth
Author's Note: First, let me thank everyone for their reviews. . .I was not expecting such a reception. If I've neglected to thank anyone for their reviews, I apologize, but I think I've gotten everyone. This update took a little longer than I would have liked, but my niece and nephew were up here for a few days, and I'm working on my LOTR project, as well, and my other SW fic. For those of you who are curious, my main model for Asajj in this story is Kristin Lehman; specifically, her character Shirah in Chronicles of Riddick.
In this chapter, we have the return to the Temple aboard the ship that took Anakin and Asajj to Rattarak, as well as those waiting at the Temple for their return. And next chapter. . .the next chapter has Obi-Wan's awakening. Please remember, this story is AU, and in this chapter, you find out just how alternate universe it is.
Chapter One
Going Home
"How is he?"
Asajj Ventress looked up as Anakin Skywalker joined her in the sleep area they were assigned by the owner of the shuttle, where she was ministering to Anakin's still-unconscious Master. She glanced toward the front of the ship, and Anakin added, "It's in good hands. I needed to stretch my legs and check on Master. How is he?" Her expression told him that Asajj wished she had a good answer to that question. They would reach Coruscant soon, and not only was Obi-Wan still unconscious, but he showed no signs of waking.
In a low voice, she responded, "I did a preliminary medical exam, so I could give the healers more information once we reached the Temple." Anakin nodded in understanding. Much to the amazement of many, his 'older sister' showed some talent with diagnosing and healing injuries. Asajj went on, "He was beaten, fairly early in the captivity, and some of the injuries still haven't healed completely. I've also found evidence of Sith lightning, which could explain how he couldn't fight back. But the worst part, Anakin? Each time I've tried to help him release pain into the Force. . .I'm blocked. I'm not sure if he's blocking me, or something else, but he won't let me help him. He's unconscious, but he won't let me help him."
Asajj's voice was calm, but Anakin sensed her frustration and fear. He said nothing, having a good idea how she felt. She went on after a moment, "Do you remember when we caught up with the Tusken Raiders who took your mother a few years back, and how I talked you out of killing them? How I told you that we had to think of Shmi, not revenge?" Anakin nodded, wincing at the memory of his mother's fight for survival after they rescued her and returned her to his stepfather, and Asajj went on, "We found out later that those Raiders killed others, and we both felt so guilty about it."
"I remember," Anakin said softly. He didn't ask her where she was going with this. Instead, making an educated guess, he observed, "You're thinking that if you had killed that pile of bantha poodoo back when you had the opportunity, before Grandmaster Dooku and Master Obi-Wan found you, then maybe Master wouldn't have been captured or hurt. But you're wrong, Asajj. Even if you had killed him, he was just the guard. . . not the man who captured Master." That earned him a glance over her shoulder and a roll of her eyes, and truthfully, Anakin had a hard time accepting his own words.
"I doubt if Sidious is the one who beat Obi-Wan. His kind really prefers not to get his hands dirty, so it goes right back to him. I lost my parents and my first Master to that monster, Anakin," Asajj rasped out (she avoided speaking the man's name, as ever, Anakin noticed), "I don't think I'll ever forgive myself if someone else I love dies because of him." Anakin knelt beside her and slid his arms around her from behind, resting his cheek against her hair. She was so different from the feral girl Master and Grandmaster described for him. Twelve years earlier, when she was found on the rock they just left, she was thirteen years old, grief-stricken and sick with rage over the loss of her mentor, completely hairless, and her skin was a ghostly white.
As she adjusted to the Jedi Temple and began to find her smiles again, her skin darkened to a more healthy tone, and baby-fine blonde hair began to cover her once-bare scalp. She was an object of some curiosity, because she wasn't raised among the Jedi. . .but it wasn't the same as when Master Windu was growing up. Plus, she had Master Obi-Wan and Anakin's grandmaster to help her. . .and that said a great deal. Other younglings came to accept her even more two years later, after Anakin was discovered on Tatooine, and after Master Obi-Wan killed the first Sith to appear in more than a thousand years. Reflected glory, his Master had said with a wry grin as he cut Anakin's hair into the traditional padawan cut.
Probably. But the other padawans and younglings still viewed Master Obi-Wan with awe, and the two padawans closest to him with envy. Technically speaking, as the padawan of his grandmaster, Asajj was Anakin's 'aunt,' but Anakin viewed her more as an older sister. They grew up together, competed with each other, conspired together, and sometimes wept together. When they were children, they were each other's best friends. So when they received this new lead about Master Obi-Wan, there was no way anyone else would be sent. Grandmaster Dooku was needed elsewhere (which did not set well at all with him, but Anakin and Asajj convinced him to let them handle it. Especially after they pointed out that he would be a distraction, rather than an aid).
All of those facts flittered through Anakin's mind as he hugged Asajj and murmured, "You won't lose Master, Asajj. I mean, really. He's gentle, but he's also stubborn as the day is long. Something Master Yoda brings up at least once a week. 'Stubborn like your master, you are. Need that, you did not!' To which Grandmaster Dooku points out that if anyone's stubborn, it's Master Yoda. He just 'hmms' and his ears flatten back against his head, then Master Windu changes the subject, but you can just tell he's trying so hard not to laugh." His imitation of Master Yoda made Asajj laugh, as it was meant to, and Anakin just grinned broadly.
"Master Dooku sometimes says that the best kept secret in the crèche is that Master Windu isn't nearly as scary as he seems at first. Then he just gives me that really evil grin of his and reminds me that I'm not to mention that to anyone, because we don't want to ruin his reputation," she replied, and even if he couldn't see her smile, he could hear it in her voice. Anakin just hugged her again, relieved that his sister was starting to accept that Master's injuries weren't her fault.
And that was when it happened. Master Obi-Wan began to shift on the bed, his head rolling from side to side as he moaned softly. Asajj leaned forward to comfort him or wake him, but the words he spoke froze them both in their places, "Gone. . .all gone. Should have died on Geonosis. I have failed you, Anakin. . .I have failed you. I loved you. . . you were my brother!" Anakin's blood ran cold. It wasn't just the words which horrified him. . .it was the agony in his Master's voice. Master Obi-Wan sounded as if Anakin had broken his heart. And not for the first time, the twenty-year-old wondered exactly was done to his poor Master while he was held captive.
It also convinced him that he needed to speak to the owner and pilot of the ship, to see if they could get back to Coruscant faster. He pressed a gentle kiss to his master's forehead, more than a little frightened by the clammy skin, and told Asajj, "Stay with him. I need to talk to Xan." Asajj nodded her agreement, lightly stroking Master Obi-Wan's forehead and damp hair, and then Anakin turned back to the cockpit. He didn't know Xanatos of Telos very well, but one thing he did know: Master Obi-Wan would probably be dead now, if it wasn't for the former Jedi. And he was immensely grateful that Asajj was even allowed on the ship after her last confrontation with Xan's wife.
SWSWSWSWSWSWSW
"General Windu. . .I just spoke with Commanders Skywalker and Ventress aboard the Queen of Naboo. They have Master Kenobi, and they're coming home!" a young padawan informed the Senior Council Member. Mace Windu closed his eyes in silent gratitude. They had found him and they were bringing him home. The padawan waited patiently, though Mace sensed the excitement that bubbled just below the surface. He wouldn't chastise her. Not when a Jedi thought for six long months to be dead was coming home to them all.
"Has Master Dooku been informed?" he asked, careful to keep his voice neutral. For all the changes made in the last thirty-plus years, he was raised in the old Jedi Order, and old habits died hard. He would not chastise this girl for her excitement, but he was a Jedi Master and a senior Council Member, and a certain amount of decorum was expected of him. He could not give voice to his joy right now, no matter how much he wanted to do so. No, Mace would wait until later. . .perhaps when Obi-Wan was safely returned home and resting in the Healer's Wing. Until then, he would remain the Councilor. He would have time to be Obi-Wan's friend and honorary uncle later.
"I was assisting Master Dooku when the call came. He asks to beg your leave, but his former padawan will need him when they land. He also said you would understand why he needs to be there?" the girl completed, frowning a little as she relayed the message. She was not asking what it meant, he knew. Instead, she was making certain she gave the message properly. She gave it perfectly, but she was too young to understand why the message was worded the way it was. Mace wasn't.
Besides, Mace understood exactly what his old friend and mentor meant. From the moment the Force bonded Master Yan Dooku and the Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi nearly twenty-five years earlier, everyone who encountered the Master-Padawan pair recognized that his padawan was the center of Yan Dooku's life. Even after the young man was Knighted at the age of twenty-three, even after Dooku took another padawan (the angry, grieving child Asajj Ventress) and even after Obi-Wan himself took his first padawan (Anakin Skywalker), Yan remained devoted to his former padawan. Much to the surprise of many, the older Jedi was no less devoted to Asajj (or to Anakin). . .rather, the two new padawans were drawn into the circle of those dear to Yan.
"When you see him, please inform Master Dooku that we all know his place is at his former padawan's side. Both of them," Mace replied. The padawan nodded with a wide grin, and then she practically bounced off. Mace shook his head, trying very hard not to smile. . . not just at the girl's exuberance, but at his old friend's predictability in certain respects. Yan actually wanted to accompany Asajj and Anakin to Rattarak on the rescue mission. As Mace recalled, Yan's exact words to Yoda were, 'Obi-Wan was my padawan, and thus, he's my responsibility, you little green troll, regardless of whether he's sixteen or thirty-six!' Yoda wasn't particularly pleased with his former protégé (especially not with the 'little green troll' remark), but the days when Yan Dooku listened to him exclusively were long past. And in the end, it was Asajj and Anakin who convinced him that he would best serve Obi-Wan by remaining here.
Mace had no idea how they managed it, but he wouldn't look a gift Rancor in the teeth. One important thing about Asajj and Anakin. . .the term 'impossible' didn't apply to those two. People often said that Anakin made a habit of turning the 'impossible' into merely 'difficult,' but they didn't know Asajj. That girl was, without a doubt, the most tenacious person he had ever met, even more so than Yan, Anakin, and Obi-Wan combined. Tenacious, possessed of a somewhat volatile temper (that was mostly under control), and utterly devoted to those she loved, there was more than one time when Mace was extremely grateful that she was a Jedi, rather a Sith.
The same was true of Anakin, and, now that he thought about it, Yan Dooku as well. Mace shuddered a little as the young padawan scampered off, no doubt intending to share the happy news with her friends and age-mates. Over the last few nights, as Anakin and Asajj drew closer to Rattarak, Mace had a series of dreams. . .perhaps even visions. He was accustomed to seeing shatterpoints, but the dreams were something else entirely. Dreams of Anakin, Asajj, and Yan as Sith, or almost-Sith. He dreamed of a terrible confrontation between Anakin and Obi-Wan beside a river of flame.
There was only one thing that kept Mace from truly believing they were visions. In the dreams, Anakin fell to the Dark Side, became a Sith to save his wife. . .one Padme Amidala, the former queen of Naboo. That bit of information allowed Mace to relax, at least a little bit, though he was still unnerved by the dreams. For one thing, the former queen was already married to someone else. For another, while they had been friends many years ago, when they were children, Anakin's loyalty was to his Master. . .never to Padme Amidala.
The dreams were, Mace believed, showing him what could have been, what might have been, and possibly what could still be, if they weren't careful. Anakin as a black-suited monster, redeemed at the last by his love for his son; Asajj, a broken woman who fled the star system, away from the Jedi, away from the Sith, away from the war; Yan, a Sith apprentice, who died on his knees after a shadowy figure demanded that Anakin kill him.
The shadowy figure, no doubt, was Sidious himself, who eluded the Jedi even now. Mace shook his head, dismayed. Ten years since the Sith revealed themselves on Tatooine, and they still had no idea whom Sidious truly was. It became obvious since Qui-Gon Jinn's death on Naboo that Obi-Wan had killed the Sith apprentice. Yan Dooku was certain of it, after talking to his former padawan in the Healer's Wing of the Theed Palace. Mace was equally certain he was right.
He thought again of Yan Dooku. Yan could have fallen. If not for Obi-Wan, he probably would have fallen after Qui-Gon's death. . . especially if the changes of the last thirty years hadn't been implemented. But Obi-Wan had needed him, and that was all Yan needed to know. His former padawan, a gifted young knight of twenty-five standard years, had taken his first padawan, the incredibly powerful Anakin Skywalker, and thus, Obi-Wan needed him now, more than ever.
To those who knew him best, there was no doubt at all that Yan mourned Qui-Gon's death. He mourned for the little boy whom he had raised, he mourned for the man he could have been, he mourned for the potential that would never come to be. He mourned for all of that and more, but Qui-Gon was dead, and Obi-Wan was alive. Yan observed to Mace once that there was a saying on his world, 'let the dead bury their dead.' His priority was the living. . .his former padawan, his current padawan, and his newly-acquired grandpadawan.
Among those who didn't know Yan, his attitude seemed cold. Perhaps it was. But Yan was a strange blend of idealism and practicality. There was nothing he could do for Qui-Gon. . .he was beyond his help. Indeed, he was beyond any need for aid. . .safe within the embrace of the Force. But Obi-Wan was alive. . .badly injured, but alive. Mace closed his eyes, remembering the sight that greeted him ten years earlier, when he entered the Healer's Wing, with nine-year-old Anakin Skywalker at his side. Yan was on his knees beside his former padawan's bed, holding him tightly, his mouth forming the words, 'thank you,' over and over again. He could have lost both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. . .but the Force had seen fit to spare the young man. He was grateful for what he still had.
As we all should be, Mace thought grimly. The war was taking a toll on everyone. . .the Republic, the Jedi, their closest allies. But they did have things for which to be grateful. The changes begun decades earlier were already starting to pay off. The Jedi were no longer alone. They always had each other, yes, but now that circle was widening, with no small assistance from Asajj and Anakin.
Which brought him right back to the ship that would be landing at the Jedi Temple in just under an hour. In that time, he would need to brief Master Yoda, before joining Yan in the hangar. He would fulfill his duty as a Senior Council member. . .and then he would fulfill his other duties. . .as a friend, as a brother, as an uncle.
SWSWSWSWSWSWSW
"Why?"
"That question covers a great deal of ground, Senator. . .maybe you'd like to clue me in on which 'why' you want answered. Why am I on this ship? 'Cause your husband was kind enough to loan it to us. Why does my sister hate you? Kriff, I think you know the answer to that better than I do. Force knows she's despised you from the beginning. Why aren't we friends any more? You know the answer to that. Now, here's a question of my own. . .could you please move out of my way, so I can talk to your husband?" Anakin Skywalker asked coldly.
Padme Amidala, once of Naboo, now of Telos, looked away, but remained where she was. With a frustrated huff of breath, Anakin tried to go around her. . .she was a small woman, after all, but she moved to one side, blocking him. He supposed he could have physically picked her up and moved her out of his way, but that would have meant putting his hands on her forearms. . .and he had absolutely no desire to touch her. There had been a time when he might have loved her. . .a time when he thought she was an angel. But he wasn't nine years old. Not any more.
"Ani. . .I know you're still angry with me about Geonosis and I'm sorry for that. I'm so sorry that my foolishness led to Obi-Wan's capture. But it was a chance I had to take! I had to try to negotiate a truce, I had to try to stop the war before it began!" Padme retorted. Anakin nearly laughed aloud at that. Nearly. She thought this began with Geonosis? Oh, no. No, Geonosis was the end game.
"In the first place, as I've told you countless times over the last several months, my name is 'Anakin.' Only my mother has the right to call me 'Ani.' And in the second place, Geonosis? Are you serious? You thought I turned against you because of Geonosis? Oh, you are full of yourself, Senator. Cast your mind back ten years, Padme. . .and to the lies you told your Jedi protectors. The lies you told everyone. Cast your mind back to the two bodies in the generator room of your palace on Naboo: one dead and one alive, but badly injured. Cast your mind back to Captain Panaka carrying the injured Jedi to the med-wing, my Master. My. . .Master. The same man lying unconscious back there. Now, remember the last time you saw him before we were assigned to protect you six months ago. That is why I turned against you, your Majesty," Anakin hissed, making no effort to hide his contempt.
Now Padme actually flinched. She whispered, "I'm so sorry, Ani. . .Anakin. I know I was cruel to him, and I know I was unfair, but. . ." Anakin had had enough. He steeled himself, grasped her forearms, and physically picked her up. She squeaked a little in surprise as he set her to one side. He was in no mood to listen to her excuses. He had been listening to them for the last six months, ever since he and Asajj learned that Master Obi-Wan had accompanied the senator to Geonosis to speak with Nute Gunray and the other Separatists.
No more. He slipped into the cockpit and said quietly, "I wanted to thank you again, sir, and to let you know that it seems Master Obi-Wan is waking up." The pilot looked around at his entrance, shaking his black hair out of his eyes, and nodded to the co-pilot's seat. Anakin sat down quickly and gratefully. Confrontation with Padme aside, he was still shaken by his Master's words. What could have happened to him that he would say it was better if he died on Geonosis?
"Arguing with my wife again?" Xanatos asked a bit dryly. Anakin merely sighed and Xanatos patted his shoulder gently, adding, "I'm not angry with you, lad. I love her with everything I am, but I also know that you have every right to be furious with her. For what it's worth, Anakin, she is sorry. . .for all of it." Sorry, yes. Sorry. He heard that before. She had apologized for her cruel and unfair accusations to his Master, then for dragging him to Geonosis to speak with the Separatists. He had been captured while protecting her, then tortured, and she was sorry.
Anakin didn't want to talk about her any more. He had forgiven her for lying to him about her true identity as a nine-year-old boy. . . had tried to forgive her for her bitter accusations against his Master when he was sixteen. For Padme Amidala, he had no forgiveness remaining. Xanatos evidently realized this, for he sighed, "Is it so hard for you to understand, young padawan, that my wife is as protective of me as you are of your Master, your grandmaster and your lovely companion? Padme was only seventeen when the treaty was signed to join Telos and Naboo, only seventeen when we wed, and some of that seventeen year old girl remains within her."
"Not at all," Anakin replied quietly, "but my Master is not to blame for your departure from the Jedi. He was hardly more than a baby when it happened. I do not appreciate your wife holding him accountable for whatever mistakes the Jedi Council and your former Master may have made. Maybe I should hold her responsible for the screw-ups of previous monarchs of Naboo? I mean, it's only right. If she can blame Master Obi-Wan for what happened to you, it's only fair that I can blame her for the errors of her predecessors or someone else from Naboo. And as far as my sister is concerned, her dislike of your wife goes back much further than that."
"Trust me, I've heard the stories. I'm still trying to figure out how to the Jedi managed to get a padawan into Padme's entourage of handmaidens without anyone being the wiser. That is not the Jedi Order I remember from my years at the Temple," Xanatos observed as Coruscant came into focus. Anakin released a breath slowly, relieved beyond words to see the city-planet. His grandmaster would be waiting for them, he knew, and most likely Master Mace as well. Sithspit, now that he thought about it, probably half of the Temple would be there to greet them!
"I really don't know. . .Grandmaster Dooku has never explained that, and neither has Master. I suspect because Master doesn't know. Back when I first met them all, I just knew Asajj as Mire, one of Queen Amidala's handmaidens," Anakin replied. He laughed a little, adding, "I remember on the journey back to Coruscant, how I was convinced that Mire had a crush on Obi-Wan and I was so jealous because I wanted all of his attention for myself." If someone told him then that the fifteen-year-old girl of whom he was so jealous would become his 'big sister,' he would have laughed himself silly.
"I thought my former Master was the one who found you on Tatooine?" Xanatos questioned, his voice betraying only curiosity, even when he spoke of Qui-Gon Jinn. Something that Anakin found interesting. He never really knew the Jedi Master in question. Yes, he encountered both Qui-Gon and his young brother-padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, along with a young girl he thought was a handmaiden to the Queen of Naboo (but was in fact the queen herself), but he never really knew the man.
"He was. . .he and Master. Grandmaster Dooku was recovering from a rather nasty virus, otherwise he would have accompanied Master Obi-Wan and Master Jinn. I don't know the particulars. Things happened awfully fast during that time. It seemed like one moment I was leaving my mother and Tatooine and the next, I was coming into the Healer's Wing and meeting my grandmaster," the young Jedi explained, grinning as he remembered the meeting in question. Of course, at the time, he hadn't felt like smiling. He was actually terrified out of his mind, his small hand encased within the large, warm hand of Mace Windu as he saw Master Dooku for the first time.
He held Master Obi-Wan tightly and tears rolled down his face. But he was smiling and mouthing, 'thank you' over and over again. Thanking the Force for Master Obi-Wan's survival, or so Anakin always assumed. For all that, he was terribly imposing to the little boy, and it was a good month or so before he stopped being fearful of his new grandmaster. If Obi-Wan was his father-figure (though Master Mace murmured on more than one occasion that he was really too young to have a nine-year-old son), then the tall, silver-haired man was a grandfather to him.
Anakin heard the stories about his grandmaster. Especially what he was like before he took Master Obi-Wan as a padawan. But to Anakin, he was always someone with whom the boy felt safe. . .the man who could be an indulgent grandfather and a devoted father. Long years before Anakin was born, the Jedi Order changed and Master Dooku was at the heart of that change. His own fears of the man were banished because of that change, and because of his obvious and immense pride and love for Master Obi-Wan. How could he be afraid of someone who loved his Master, just as much as Anakin himself did?
"You should make sure your Master is strapped in," Xanatos said quietly, interrupting Anakin's memories. The padawan looked at the older man, startled, and the former Jedi went on, "We'll be landing in a short time, and he's been hurt enough." Anakin nodded. . . yeah. Yeah, that was a good idea. He rose to his feet and started to return to his Master. But he only took a few steps, when Xanatos added, "Whatever else you may think of Padme. . .she was only trying to protect me."
Anakin fought back a surge of rage, and then released it into the Force. In a voice almost as quiet as the pilot's, he answered, "If she had said those things to one of the Council Members, or to Master Jinn, or anyone else. . .I could have forgiven her, without hesitation. I wouldn't have needed to forgive her, because I would have thought of her as being in the right. But she attacked my Master, who was just a youngling when that mess occurred. If she wanted to protect you, she should have done it with someone else." Xanatos had no answer for that, and Anakin left the cockpit without another word.
SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW
His boy was coming home. Yan Dooku could feel it. He could feel his former padawan's presence on the ship that was even now entering Coruscant's atmosphere. He was worried, though. The presences of his other former padawan and his grandpadawan were much stronger. . .much more vivid. Obi-Wan was injured, but there was something far more to it. Even when he was injured on Naboo, and Yan came so close to losing him, his presence never felt this muted.
But. . . He would be home soon. He would be home soon, and Yan could take care of him. He, and Anakin, and Asajj. . .everyone who loved Obi-Wan. A small hand patted his cheek and Yan turned his attention to the small girl in his arms. He couldn't help it. . .he smiled at the toddler, kissed her forehead, then hugged her tightly. A tug on the leg of his trousers alerted him to the other child, who asked, "Daddy home?" Yan shifted the little girl, and then knelt down to scoop the little boy into his free arm.
"Daddy will be home very soon, Luke. You have to be very patient with him, my little one. Both of you will have to be patient with him," he told the two children held. The eighteen month old twins looked up at him. . .the little boy, Luke, inherited his mother's coloring and his father's gentleness, while his twin, Leia, was a throwback to her paternal grandfather in terms of coloring. It remained to be seen whose personality she inherited.
"Master Dooku, I can take one of them. No doubt you'll need both arms when the transport lands," Bant Eerin said softly, appearing at his side. Yan never even noticed her entrance, but he was rather. . .preoccupied at the moment. The older Jedi spared her a gentle smile. He wasn't sure if she was here as a healer or as Obi-Wan's friend, but truly, he didn't care. He had no doubt that his boy would need her. That was why he shook his head before returning his attention first to the twins, and then to the landing pad.
"I thank you, Mistress Bant, but you will be needed in a very short time. My Obi-Wan has been hurt badly. . .and so he will need you. I will take care of these two little ones, for your sake," Yan told her. Bant tried not to smile, a battle she lost as Yan added a bit sheepishly, "If my arms are free, I will try to interfere. . .and that is not in the best interests of your patient."
"And have you finally realized that, old friend, after so many tongue-lashings from Bant?" an amused voice inquired and Yan turned to face Mace Windu. Now here was a surprise. The younger man shrugged with a half smile, adding, "I performed my obligations as a Senior Councilor. Master Yoda has been briefed. . .now I'm fulfilling my duties as an uncle and a friend. You didn't really think I wouldn't be here to greet Obi-Wan when he returned, did you? And you've known me how long?"
"Long enough to remember back when you had hair," Yan fired back, trying not to grin. Mace's dark eyes narrowed at the now-familiar dig, but maintained his dignity. At least, he maintained his dignity for now. Yan was thoroughly enjoying himself as he continued in an almost-confiding voice, "You are too young to remember this, Bant, but Mace actually had hair when he was young. I think joining the Council caused it all to fall out. Bald at twenty-four." He tsked-tsked.
"And which of your padawans turned your hair white, old friend?" Mace returned. Yan rolled his eyes. Really, that was pathetic. . .now, he knew Mace could do better than that. Bant merely listened to the exchange, making faces at the toddlers in Yan's arms. Leia just giggled, while Luke struggled with 'pad'an?' Yan pressed gentle kisses to both foreheads, grinning at his younger friend wickedly. Mace added, "I know it wasn't Asajj, because it was white before you even met her. . .on the other hand, she probably could have turned it white, given the chance."
"Actually, I think Anakin has them all beat. . .in the first three years he was here, I was sure Obi-Wan would either tear his own hair out, or it would all be gray before he was forty," Bant observed. Humph. On the other hand, Yan couldn't argue with the young Healer. His grandpadawan, especially in his early years at the Temple, found truly creative ways to try his young Master's patience. And on more than one occasion, Obi-Wan admitted that only his own former Master's steady support helped him to stay sane. He needed all the help he could get, especially since Asajj both egged Anakin on and annoyed him. Those two. . .there was a reason they were nicknamed 'the terrible two.' Friends to the Jedi, such as Bail Organa, used it affectionately. Others. . .not so much.
It seemed, too, that Mace picked up on what Yan was thinking, for he asked quietly, "Did we give him the support he needed? Obi-Wan, I mean. He was very young for such a heavy burden. . .even if it was one he chose willingly." Yan raised his brows at the comment. Even if it was one he chose willingly? Mace said softly, "A long story. . .one I'll explain later. Raising a padawan is hardly easy, even when it's a padawan who was raised in the Temple, and not rumored to be the Chosen One."
"He did," Bant said unexpectedly, "Master Dooku was there, and if he and Asajj were on a mission, he always knew that he could go to you, Master Windu. I think it really helped when you and Master Dooku backed him against the Chancellor. He was afraid that he was being paranoid, but he had a really bad feeling about allowing the Chancellor near Anakin." Yan's jaw tightened. Perhaps Obi-Wan was being paranoid, but he didn't think so. He had the same unease around Chancellor Palpatine that Obi-Wan had.
"Good. Good," the younger Master observed. He murmured, "Yoda says often that the future is always in motion. How much has been averted because we gave Obi-Wan the support he needed? But there's still a chance for disaster." Yan looked at his friend, concerned. He wasn't the only one. With that sensitivity the very young often show, Leia reached out to the Councilor with her small arms. With a gentle smile, Mace took the toddler from Yan's grasp, holding her against his chest. When he told her, "You, my little one, will have a good life," Yan sensed there was more to the statement than Mace's ability to see shatterpoints. . .a great deal more.
But he didn't ask his friend what he meant. Instead, he asked Bant, "And did he take comfort from my padawan's infatuation with him, or did it worry him?" Bant actually laughed aloud, making the two children giggle as well. All right, perhaps that was a foolish question. His former padawan, for all his gifts and all his intelligence, could be incredibly dense when it came to how people felt about him. It wasn't really a self-esteem issue. . .he simply didn't look at himself that way. Unless someone bluntly told him (as Anakin was wont to do), he just didn't think about it.
"I don't think he even really noticed how Asajj felt about him until Naboo, Master. And her flying into the medwing, still in her handmaiden tunics, made that rather obvious. That, and the way she and Anakin fought over who got to spend time with him," Bant giggled. Well, yes, there was that. Bant wasn't there at the time, but Yan was, and he told her about it, as did Asajj. That was actually somewhat embarrassing. . .his fifteen year old padawan jealous of the attention a nine year old received. However, they worked it out themselves (especially after Asajj learned that Anakin had been a slave).
"Who would have ever thought that a padawan of Yan Dooku would ever behave like that?" Mace observed with a broad grin, making Leia giggle. Yan merely glared at him, not bothering to dignify the dig with a response. . .not even when Mace added, "Oh, that's right, except for Obi-Wan, they've all acted like that!"
Bant cringed and stepped forward to take Leia from the Councilor. Not that she really needed to bother. In the first place, Yan was too much a son of Serenno to do anything to Mace. In the second place, the transport was starting to land, and that was far more important than dealing with Mace Windu in a cheeky mood. His boy was coming home. In just a few more minutes, he would see his boy again, and while Obi-Wan was no doubt injured (or worse), he was home, and there was nothing that could spoil that for him.
It would take a day or so before he realized just how wrong he was about that.
SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW
Home. They were almost home. She released a breath, and with it, all of the fear she had been carrying ever since she and Anakin landed on her home planet. She released it into the Force. . .her fear, not the concern which still made it difficult for her to breathe every time she looked at Obi-Wan. They finally had him back, he was safe with the people who loved him, but what Anakin told her about that monstrosity. . .and what Obi-Wan himself had said. I should have died on Geonosis. Gone. . .all gone.
Asajj shivered, remembering the desolation in his voice. What was gone? And why should he have died on Geonosis? That claim alone broke Asajj's heart. That was so unlike Obi-Wan. It annoyed her when she was a teenager, how he never gave up. As she grew and matured, she came to treasure it, even as it irritated her at times. Because she knew that it was one reason she was the Jedi she was now. Yes, Master Dooku had a great deal to do with it. Of course he did. But Obi-Wan never gave up on her, never stopped believing in her, no matter how many times she hurt him with her backsliding.
It was curious, when she stopped to think about it. Really, the two people who hurt him most often. . .namely, herself and Anakin. . . were the most protective of him. Perhaps because they saw the expression in his eyes after they had done or said something. And each of them died a little when they saw that look. The only one who was equally protective was Master Dooku, and if he hurt Obi-Wan, it was long before Asajj or Anakin came into his life.
For Anakin, it began when he was fifteen and began rebelling. It was never that he didn't love Obi-Wan. But like many teenagers in the universe, it was nothing for Anakin to scream, 'I hate you!' at Obi-Wan during an argument. Of course, he was always sorry for it afterward. . .even sorrier when Asajj tore into him. Not that she was much better. She had hurt Obi-Wan many times, sometimes physically, especially when she first arrived at the Temple. She had bitten him, punched, kicked, and otherwise attempted to maim her Master's former padawan.
Not because she was angry or jealous of him. No, she hurt him because she was in pain, and her rage was overwhelming. Even then, even after being gently pulled away from her Master's cold body and carried back to the Jedi ship, even then she was still so incredibly angry. She couldn't take it out on the evil monster who murdered her parents and later her Master, so she took it out instead on the gentle young Knight who only wanted to help her.
"And yet, you still forgave me," she whispered to the unconscious man, "you always forgave me. I still can't figure out how you do that, but you do." She stroked his hair tenderly, freezing when she sensed the new presence. It wasn't Anakin. . .he returned long enough to ensure Obi-Wan was safely buckled into his bed before leaving to meditate. . .and it wasn't Xanatos. That left only one person. . .the person Asajj least wanted to see. She asked coldly, "Yes, your Majesty?" She didn't call the woman by name. . .she never had, not since her unmasking as a Jedi Padawan, ten years earlier.
"I came to see how he is doing. My husband and I were both very concerned when Padawan Skywalker brought him on board," was the hesitant answer. Asajj merely hook her head and turned away from Obi-Wan's lax face. Yes, she could bet Padme of Telos was concerned for Obi-Wan! The dark-haired woman bowed her head, hands clasped in front of her, and then looked at Asajj, adding firmly, "I know you blame me for what happened to him, and I don't blame you. But I was worried for him. I still am."
"Who are you trying to convince, Senator? Me? Or yourself?" Asajj fired back. She didn't like this woman. Even when they were both teenagers, and Asajj was posing as a handmaiden to protect her, she hadn't liked her. Growing up as she did on Rattarak, pacifism was as alien to her as. . .well, as the idea of slavery to someone growing up on Coruscant or Naboo. So when Queen Amidala declared that she would condone no path that led to war (after the Trade Federation's blockade of her world, an act of war in and of itself), Asajj, posing as Mire, could only roll her eyes in disgust.
It also made her much happier to see Obi-Wan and Master Jinn. Of course, even as a fifteen year old, she was almost always happy to see Obi-Wan. She barely knew Master Jinn, but that was beside the point. They were part of her family, and she was thrilled to see them. If she could have gotten away with throwing herself into Obi-Wan's arms, she would have done it. However, that would have given her away as a Jedi padawan, and no one was ready for that.
And perhaps she was being a hypocrite, regarding Amidala with such contempt for hiding her true identity by masquerading as a handmaiden, but there was far more to it than that. The former queen said, choosing not to answer Asajj's question, "Anakin has already told me that he will not forgive me. I can understand that, I can appreciate that. Would it make a difference if I told you that Obi-Wan has forgiven me? Something he told me on our journey to Geonosis?"
"Noooooo," Asajj answered, drawing out the word as if she was speaking to a willfully slow child, "because that is Obi-Wan, and he is one of the most forgiving people I have ever met. I, however, am not so forgiving, much less when you hurt someone who means the galaxy to me." The former queen looked away and Asajj added bitterly, "You wound the souls of innocent men, claiming you are only protecting your husband, and yet, you protest when I protect mine. I always knew you were a hypocrite, but really, you shouldn't be in such a hurry to prove me right."
"Hypocrite? I am not the one who pretended to be a simple handmaiden while I was a Jedi padawan!" the senator cried out. Asajj merely smirked at her, folding her arms over her chest. She didn't speak. It wasn't necessary, for only a few moments later, Padme's eyes dropped as she realized what Asajj wasn't saying. She heard the hollowness of her own words, and that part of the subject was dropped. The dark-haired woman, however, wasn't about to give up. She shook her head, murmuring, "I don't understand why you will not accept why I had to speak with the Separatists. I could have ended this stupid, senseless war before it began."
"Oh, but that's where you're wrong, Senator," Asajj retorted, "and Obi-Wan's condition should be proof of that. You can only negotiate with someone if they're willing to be reasonable. The fact that Nute Gunray tried to have you killed because you stood up to him and the Trade Federation when you were fourteen years old should tell you something. Namely, they aren't willing to be reasonable. And as for your repeated assertion that you could have stopped the war? Please. You aren't nearly as important as you like to think you are. And you're certainly not important enough for Obi-Wan to sacrifice his life for you."
"He is a Jedi, sworn to protect the Republic and her people," Padme reminded her, "and I'm sure your words are not very Jedi-like." Asajj raised her eyebrows questioningly. Oh really? And what made Padme think she knew anything about the way Jedi thought? She was married to a former Jedi, yes, but there was a huge difference between being married to a Jedi and being a Jedi. As she was both a Jedi and married to a Jedi, she knew that better than anyone. On the other hand, she could hardly argue with the other assertion. She really didn't think like a Jedi, like those who were raised at the Temple. She and Anakin were alike in that respect.
Something she pointed out to the other woman, adding, "I am far more than simply a Jedi, Senator. I am a daughter who saw first her parents, then her first Master, killed by the same individual. He was unwilling to negotiate for my husband's release, which is why he is now dead. Perhaps I would have spared him, but he tried to keep us from Obi-Wan. Worse yet, he hurt Obi-Wan, and no one is allowed to do that. Not me. Not Anakin. Not you. And most assuredly not that monster."
"Perhaps if your parents had attempted to negotiate, they would now be alive," the senator quietly observed. Asajj's blood ran cold throughout her body, but then, only a second later, it felt as though she had the rivers of flame of Mustafar in her veins. How dare she? How dare this pampered little brat judge Asajj's parents? How dare she? Would she next try to blame Obi-Wan for being beaten and tortured? The blonde Jedi took a step forward, her bright blue eyes blazing with rage. It took all of her self-control to keep from slapping her as hard as she could across her face.
Instead, she hissed, "Remember, Senator. I turned you into chopped bantha meat while I was five months pregnant with my twins. Imagine what I can do now. . .what I will do if you ever say something that stupid again! My parents did not deserve to die. . .my first Master didn't deserve to die. . .and my husband most assuredly doesn't deserve what was done to him. Do you understand me? I am a Jedi, but I can make a Sith look quite pleasant in comparison when it comes to my family. I will never be a Master because of that, but my husband and children are worth it."
She shouldn't say such things, she knew, shouldn't feel such things. She was a Jedi, and should be above allowing her emotions to rule her. But no one spoke of her parents in such a manner. Least of all the likes of Padme Amidala. It seemed the senator realized the responsibility she bore in the argument, for she spoke no further about that. Instead, she asked quietly, "How are your twins? I would imagine it has been difficult, especially for such young children, to understand why their father is not home."
Asajj nearly told her that the babies were none of her concern, but Obi-Wan was right there, even if he was unconscious, and she didn't want to run the risk of waking him and possibly upsetting him with their argument. Instead, she settled for a glare as she responded, "They are well. . .awaiting us at the Temple. In fact, it was Luke who provided us with the clue that allowed us to find his father. He kept having dreams, and it helped us determine where Obi-Wan was being held." She purposely did not mention her daughter. Luke was a powerful child, even at eighteen months of age. Leia. . .there were still many questions about Leia.
"And. . .Leia?" the senator asked. Asajj didn't answer. . .they were preparing to land, and she would soon hold her children again. She had missed them so much over the last three days, especially once she saw the graves of her parents and former Master once more. Her Master had helped her to bury them. . .and then, Master Dooku and Obi-Wan buried her first Master while she cried herself to sleep on their ship. She wished so much that her parents could have seen her son and daughter, could have met her husband. They would have loved Obi-Wan just as much she did.
"Luke already shows signs of wanting to be a Jedi, like both of his parents before him. Leia's path is unwritten. She will choose for herself, and I will support her no matter what she chooses. Just as long as she doesn't choose politics. Perhaps she will choose to be a negotiator, as her father is. Regardless of what you think of me, Senator, I know there are more ways to help people than to be a warrior. If Leia chooses such a path, as a diplomat and negotiator, I will be just as proud of my daughter," Asajj answered.
"So it is only me you dislike. Is there nothing I can do to erase this animosity between us?" Padme asked softly. Well. Asajj wouldn't go that far. She also disliked Palpatine. For lack of a better phrase, he made her skin crawl and she really didn't like his interest in Anakin. On the other hand, she found it hard to imagine a time when she would regard the former queen with the same affection and regard she had for Bail Organa. There was simply too much between them for her to ever truly regard Padme Amidala as a friend, rather than simply an ally.
"It would take a great deal to do that, Senator. I warned you, and had my warnings ignored too many times. You disregarded what I had to say and too many people whom I love paid the price. I warned you not to trust in the Senate and Palpatine, and look where we are. I warned you about your husband's last days in the Jedi, and you accused my husband of bearing responsibility for what happened to Xanatos. I warned you that Nute Gunray and the other Separatists would just as soon kill you as look at you. . .and my husband was captured after ensuring your safety. Even if my animosity for you eased, I will never trust you. . .you've proven that you cannot be trusted," Asajj replied.
Again, the senator looked away, whispering, "Have you never done something you regretted with every fiber of your being? Have you never been forgiven for that act?" Asajj folded her arms over her chest and eyed the other woman. She committed many acts she regretted. She was forgiven for most of them (and those she wasn't forgiven for, no one knew about). But. . .this woman had hurt Obi-Wan too many times.
She finally said quietly, "Indeed I have. But there is such a thing as too many regrets, Senator. Your unwillingness to protect your planet properly nearly resulted in Obi-Wan's death. Gunray and the others blockaded your planet and you weren't willing to fight back until after the return from Tatooine. You spoke out of turn at my wedding, the one day I can truly claim as my own, and actually managed to anger Obi-Wan. Your guilt over your own treatment of your husband in the early days of your marriage resulted in your unfair and unprovoked attack against my husband. And most recently of all, your insistence that Nute Gunray and his allies could be reasoned with nearly led to Obi-Wan's death again. No, Senator Amidala. . .be content with Obi-Wan's forgiveness. You will not have mine and you do not have Anakin's."
Padme was on the verge of speaking, but Xanatos eased the ship on the ground. Once the engines began to slow down, Asajj turned to Obi-Wan, gently unbuckling him. At the same time, Anakin emerged from the room where he had been meditating. His eyes darkened at the sight of the senator, but he said only, "You've unbuckled Master. . .good. Once the engines have stopped, we'll disembark." Asajj nodded and stepped away, allowing Anakin to gently scoop Obi-Wan into his arms once more. The padawan cradled his Master against his chest, nodding to Asajj to go ahead of him.
Asajj stepped around the senator, trusting in Anakin to watch her back and to keep Obi-Wan safe. It wasn't that she thought Senator Amidala would attack either of them, but it was the principle of the thing. As she left the sleeping quarters, she was met by Xanatos of Telos. She saw him only briefly when Anakin carried Obi-Wan onto the Queen of Naboo, and now inclined her head to the former Jedi. He smiled faintly, held his hand out to Padme, and observed to Asajj, "I see my wife is in better condition now than the last time the two of you met."
Both women flushed, but Asajj replied, "I have greater control over my emotions now than I did then. Besides. I was pregnant at the time, and there's nothing more dangerous than a pregnant Jedi dealing with pregnancy hormones and protecting her husband." Anakin snorted behind her, but when she turned to face her 'little brother,' he had buried his face against Obi-Wan's hair. Probably his attempt to keep from laughing. Never mind. She'd get him back later, when he wasn't expecting it.
Besides, Xanatos was trying desperately not to laugh. He chortled as they proceeded toward the shuttle hatch, "A pregnant Jedi protecting her mate. . .no, I can't imagine anything more dangerous than that. Did that little green troll mutter under his breath, something along the lines of, 'kept the no-attachment rule, we should have. Dangerous, a Jedi is. Even more dangerous, a pregnant Jedi,' or did he just remain silent but disapproving?" Anakin couldn't help himself, obviously. . .the snort he did try to suppress instead turned into a full-blown case of the giggles.
"Actually, it was Master Windu who muttered about the dangers of a pregnant Jedi. Master Yan, on the other hand, gleefully observed what the Jedi could do with a whole complement of pregnant Jedi in their early weeks. Obi-Wan punched him in the shoulder and scolded him for joking about putting his wife in danger," Asajj responded, barely containing her own laughter. Even now, nearly three years later, the image of her husband's appalled expression was enough to make her laugh.
And her reminder set Anakin off into another fit of giggles. Around his laughter, he managed to gasp out, "Oh, I don't know what was funnier. . .Master hitting Grandmaster Dooku or the look on my grandmaster's face when he did it. The next thing I knew, Xan, they were squabbling like a pair of crèchelings arguing over a toy. Master Mace was laughing so hard, he actually slid down the wall. . .his legs wouldn't hold him." Asajj glanced over her shoulder as they made their way to the shuttle hatch. Anakin was grinning broadly, his arms tightening around Obi-Wan as he remembered one of the happier times before everything imploded. Maybe it was those memories which lightened Asajj's heart, maybe it was knowing they were back on Coruscant, but she began to feel better about her husband's recovery.
"Mace Windu? Are we talking about the same Master Windu? I know there were a lot of changes in the Order before the mission to Telos, but the idea of Mace Windu sliding down the wall in a fit of laughter. . .that image just does not want to form!" Xanatos exclaimed as the hatch unfolded with a hiss. Asajj couldn't see if he was shaking his head, but she did hear the laughter in his voice. The former Jedi added, almost muttering, "Maybe I should have stayed with the Order. Mace Windu sliding down the wall. . .that would have made up for a lot."
Asajj was on the verge of answering, but she was the first one down the steps. The first one off the shuttle, and the first to see two small children toddling toward them, squealing joyfully, "MOMMY, DADDY!" She dropped to her knees and held out her arms as her twins ran to her. She enveloped Luke and Leia in a fierce embrace, tears running down her face. The toddlers were hugging her with all of the strength in their tiny bodies, but Asajj didn't care. She was home. She was home, Obi-Wan was safe and free, and her babies were in her arms. Asajj covered their faces with kisses before picking them both up and carrying them back to Anakin so he could greet them, and so they could see their father. They were scared. . .Asajj felt their fear through the bonds she shared with them both. . .afraid of what had been done to their father. She was afraid, too.
But now that fear was overshadowed by hope. Whatever was done to Obi-Wan, she and their twins could overcome. She had absolute faith in that. More to the point, she had absolute faith in her husband. Obi-Wan Kenobi was the strongest person she knew. His recovery might be long and difficult, but he would prevail. There was no other option. He would prevail. . .and Darth Sidious would rue the moment he chose to take Asajj's husband, Anakin's Master, Luke and Leia's father, and Yan Dooku's padawan captive.
However, for now, Asajj Ventress-Kenobi would just hold her children and thank the Force she was able to return to them. . .and return their father to them.