Oh dammit, not again, were Jean-Luc's first thoughts as he heard the familiar beeps and felt the biobed beneath him. Sickbay. But at least that means –
"Beverly," he croaked as he remembered his companion.
"I'm right here, Jean-Luc," she called out. He could hear her, but the hands around him, they weren't hers. He opened his eyes, squinting in the light.
"Welcome back, sir," Dr Taylor told him. "How do you feel?"
"Ugh," Picard said gruffly before registering the question. "A bit groggy. What happened?"
"Can you remember what year this is?" Dr Taylor went on.
"2371, I was just on my way to shore leave with Dr Crusher," Jean-Luc answered.
"Excellent," Dr Taylor said. "Do you have any idea where you are?" With no hands holding him back, Jean-Luc sat forward, looking around. On a biobed beside him lay Beverly, a nurse by her far side, doing something with a device.
"A private ward in the Enterprise sickbay," he said while Dr Taylor scanned him with a tricorder.
"Well, good news, there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage." The way she emphasised 'damage' was not promising to Jean-Luc. "You're free to move about the ward."
"Thank you," Jean-Luc said, going straight to swinging his legs off the side of the biobed and pushing himself up. The world spun. The next thing he knew, Dr Taylor had him back on the biobed.
"Take it easy," Dr Taylor told him.
After a few satisfying nods from Jean-Luc, Dr Taylor was gone to monitor other patients. "So what happened?" he asked Beverly.
"The shuttle sensors didn't pick up this bubble of anti gravitons until we were right on top of them," Beverly explained. He turned to see her staring up at the ceiling. While he was in sickbay pyjamas, for some reason they'd put Beverly in a gown.
"The crash..." he said, sitting up slowly. "You screamed."
"The console was on fire," Beverly spoke softly, closing her eyes.
"Beverly?" He turned to face her. She painstakingly slowly turned her face. All down the far side of her face, onto her neck and spreading across her chest were dermal regenerator patches.
"I'll be alright," she assured him, reaching out with the hand that had held on to his. "When this comes off, I imagine I'll look better than before," she joked. Jean-Luc extended his arm, taking her hand in his as she smiled, dermal regenerators crinkling. Gradually he made it to her side, holding her hand so gently he couldn't have been more delicate had it been made of gossamer!
"Oh, Beverly," he breathed, caressing her hand between both of his.
"You should see yourself, Jean-Luc," she said with a tease.
"Oh?" he asked, one hand rising to subconsciously brush over his – head of hair? "What?" He repeated the movement. Yes! Hair! Not as thick or lustrous as that of his teen escapades, but there was hair upon his scalp!
"You almost look like when we first met," Beverly remarked wistfully. "The last I heard they thought it might have had to do with the high level of ionic radiation. Geordi and Data are examining the wreckage right now."
"Any side effects? Beyond..." He ran his hand over his head again. Beverly too, from what he could see of her tired gaunt figure, did seem younger as well.
"That's why I'm here, sir, to monitor you both," the nurse at Beverly's side explained.
"How long until the patches come off?" Beverly asked her.
The nurse shared a look with Jean-Luc which seemed to convey that before he'd woken up she had been asking it continuously. "Another two hours," the nurse told her.
"Dammit," Beverly breathed. Then she appealed to Jean-Luc. "They haven't so much as let me glance in a mirror. It felt strange, as soon as I woke up. When I saw what had happened to you it made sense, although nothing quite so..." He let her reach up and run a gentle hand over his scalp, bending down a little to make it easier for her.
I could have lost you, Beverly, he thought, his heart throbbing in his chest. She smiled up at him, each with a shared hidden pain.
"Looking younger isn't the worst thing that could have happened, since it seems we still have our memories intact," Jean-Luc said, taking her hand again. How much younger? he wondered a moment, but was more glad Beverly was alright. Remembering her scream sent a chill racing through his spine. He caught her eyebrows knitting together a fraction as she watched his face. She can tell something is the matter. "Has Deanna been in yet?" he inquired.
"Not while I've been awake." Beverly and Jean-Luc looked to the nurse who shook her head.
"I could ask her to bring a mirror for you, if you like," Jean-Luc offered. Beverly smiled, giggling.
"No, it's alright. A few hours and I'll be on my feet anyway," Beverly said. If I wasn't able to see her for over two hours when I wanted to, I doubt I could be so patient. She squeezed his hand gently, his head spinning giddily. "You're looking faint; do you need to sit down?" His brow creased. How could she tell? "Here," she subtly nodded for him to sit on the edge of her bed. He did so, perching on the edge and holding on to her hand. After a few minutes of silence, she sighed.
"An hour, fifty minutes," the nurse said before Beverly even had to ask. For a moment Beverly glared at her, but didn't have the heart, rolling her eyes.
"Not often you get to be the patient, is it," Jean-Luc teased.
"Therapists and doctors make the worst patients though, don't they?" Deanna spoke from the doorway. Will was behind her.
"Sir," Will nodded.
"I'm off duty, Will, even if we didn't make it to our shore leave," Jean-Luc told him.
"Very well, Jean-Luc," he said, tugging his shirt as he walked in with Deanna. He gave a brusque nod to the nurse. It was still a strange feeling to refer to the captain to his face by his first name, not one that his first officer thought he would easily adapt to.
"I'll be outside," she excused herself. No one spoke until the door hissed shut behind her.
"Worf, Geordi and Data are investigating the accident," Will informed them, he and Deanna moving closer to stand around Beverly's biobed. "It doesn't seem… run of the mill so far…" Jean-Luc raised an eyebrow at his first officer.
"What are you suggesting, Will?" Beverly asked, frowning and narrowing her eyes at the man.
"Well, it would be foolish of us to assume neither of you have any enemies," Will lowered his voice conspiratorially. Jean-Luc and Beverly shared a glance. Of course there were people they knew who didn't like them, but enemies? "And the accident doesn't seem quite so… accidental."
There could be someone out to hurt us, Jean-Luc realised. Someone tried to hurt Beverly. He sighed and softened, Beverly watching him again. Deanna's eyes moved between them, curious as if she sensed something peculiar… "Very well. We'll stay on the Enterprise until the investigation is complete." There's always the holodeck, he tried to placate his spirits. Will nodded to them both and left to return to the bridge. Deanna moved to stand closer to the head of the bed, on the side Jean-Luc was sat upon.
"How are you both feeling?" she asked just as the door hissed, the nurse returning.
"Caged in," Jean-Luc murmured gruffly.
"Don't be so tense, they'll think you're a worse patient than me!" Beverly jibed him. They both smiled.
"Beverly?" Deanna insisted.
"Yes, Deanna?" Beverly asked innocently, meeting her eye. To Jean-Luc's surprise it was Deanna who broke contact first.
"You know where to find me when you're ready," Deanna told her softly and departed. Jean-Luc turned to Beverly with both eyebrows raised. She tried to ignore him, instead watching the nurse returning to her work. As the minutes kept dragging, it finally grew too much.
"What?!" Beverly demanded as he kept giving her the look.
"What was that about?" he asked in a low voice. She let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. Attitude, hey? Beverly is out of sorts. Is it the being in a private room of sickbay, bedbound with the dermal regenerators? Or something else?
"Don't worry, sir," the nurse assured him. "She'll be in a much better mood when the patches come off."
The silence settled between them again. After Jean-Luc had been awake for half an hour, the nurse had finished her work and left them. He still sat by Beverly on the edge of her biobed. Beverly squirmed on the biobed.
"What's the matter?" Jean-Luc asked.
"It's itchy," Beverly said with a grimace. Jean-Luc's eyes passed over all the dermal regenerator patches that covered a decent part of her body.
"It's just another hour and a half," he reassured her, rubbing the back of her hand softly in hopes of distracting her.
"Yes, but I was awake for an hour before that, and by the ship's chronometer time we were under for three hours, so that makes six hours of dermal regeneration!" Beverly exclaimed in annoyance.
"What?!" Jean-Luc breathed. Six hours… "How bad were the burns?"
Beverly pulled her hand away, covering the side of her face that was normal skin. Even that had the soft pink tinge of being newly regenerated. "They were bad, Jean-Luc," she whispered. Her chest shook. "That fire just…"
"Hey, hey, it's okay, you're alright." Jean-Luc leant down, brushing her hair back from her face softly. "It's okay, Beverly, it's okay." That scream… He froze, blanched. Jack. That was like how Jack had died… in a fire. Beneath him her chest heaved again. "Oh god," Jean-Luc whispered, closing his eyes. He lowered his head until it rested just above her chest. "Oh, Beverly, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I almost lost another Crusher. First Jack, now Beverly. "I'm so sorry…"
"Stop it!" she snapped suddenly, jarring him into sitting stiffly. "Oh!" She said, covering her mouth with her hand. "Jean-Luc, please, don't say it," she implored of him as her shoulders shook. "I can't bear to hear you say it." But it was my fault. It's my fault what happened to Jack, and now I almost lost you the same way! If I had the decency to swallow my pride, we never would have been in this situation! "Don't you dare blame yourself for this, Jean-Luc Picard." Her voice was cold and hard as iron. She shook her head as tears rolled from the corners of her eyes. "Don't you dare."
"Beverly…" It is my fault. She raised her finger.
"Don't. You. Dare." Her voice shook. She reached out, grabbing his hand with hers. This is why I can't have friends, Jean-Luc thought. I just get them hurt.
I have to reassure him, tell him he is wrong, Beverly thought. But it was taking everything she had to keep what little composure she had left. "Please," she begged.
Beverly, how could I do this to you?
He tried to let go of her hand, but she just held it out to embrace him. As gently as if she were an antique porcelain doll, he lifted her from the biobed. Through the gaps in the gown he could see the dermal regenerators spread down her back. They held each other. After a while she started to calm.
"Thank you," she whispered. She sighed. "It's still itchy." She burrowed her face against the crook of his neck.
"Hopefully that means it's working," he murmured. "It doesn't hurt, does it?"
"No," Beverly assured him. "It did when I woke up, but they sorted that out."
"Good." He breathed in deeply. Was it his imagination or was that the faint scent of singed flesh? His stomach dropped.
"I was really looking forward to that shore leave," she sighed longingly.
"So was I," he admitted in a croak. He could feel her smiling.
"I'll remember that for next time," she told him slyly. "Is that all you need to convince you to take shore leave, the promise of some company?"
"I never know what to do with myself when I'm on shore leave alone," Jean-Luc confided in a whisper. "I always feel so lost."
"Then I'll have to start drawing up a roster with the others for next time you need a break," she teased, turning her head for her lips to brush against his ear. She could feel his cheek warming in a blush. "Or was it my company in particular?" She waited. Slowly his head moved… up… down… a nod of confirmation. She grinned, victorious.
"I can't bear the thought of losing you, Beverly," he murmured into her red wavy locks.
"I'm not going anywhere, Jean-Luc," she whispered.
"Whatever you want, whenever you're ready," he told her.
Someday, Beverly thought. Someday...
A/N: A nice big chapter today! I hope you enjoy! Please please leave a review! Have a nice day!