I never thought you'd be so comfortable, a gentle thought nudged his mind.
You're awake? He raised an eyebrow, putting down the pad he had been reading again.
I was listening to you read. Lovely voice, she complimented.
He cleared his throat self consciously. "Thank you," he said aloud, blushing faintly.
"You love poetry and prose and plays, but you never perform yourself unless it's on the bridge; why?" she inquired. It was an accurate observation. Jean-Luc sat, contemplating it a moment as Beverly lay against him, her eyes still shut.
"I suppose the limelight never appealed to me," he admitted at last.
"There's more to it than attention," Beverly remarked. "Do you write your own poetry?"
"Are you hungry? Perhaps it's time for lunch," he said. Please don't, he mentally pleaded, desperate not to discuss the topic.
A dirty secret? "Jean-Luc," Beverly said, not having any of his avoidance.
A little. "It isn't very good," he said, deflated.
"Art is subjective," she pointed out. "It isn't meant to be good or bad, it's meant to make you feel or think. And yeah, lunch would be great." She sat up with a yawn, blinking her eyes open. Gosh, I keep falling asleep on you, are you okay with that? She asked cautiously as they got up and retrieved some replicated lunch.
"It's fine, you need your sleep," Jean-Luc said aloud. I feel blessed to be chosen. Never before have we had physical contact for so long. I wish it the situation hadn't come about the way it did, but I am enjoying it. He didn't realise he had broadcast the thoughts. Beverly merely smiled, keeping her own reaction hidden deep. "Why didn't you think I'd be so comfortable?" he inquired.
"I guess I always expected you to be bonier," she said before biting into a mouthful. Like Walker, she told him telepathically.
"Ah." He nodded.
After lunch they ended up back on the sofa, Beverly sat up by herself this time. She was frowning as she read a pad, her mental barriers preventing Jean-Luc from gaining any insight to the dilemma. It proved quite the distraction as he kept looking up from his own reading.
You know we're supposed to be on holiday, he projected.
"What?" she glanced up. "Oh. Well, our shore leave has been postponed anyway, so…" Her voice drifted away, but he could sense the sadness coming to her now.
"What's the matter, what are you reading?" he insisted, putting down his pad and scooting closer to her.
"Just some medical texts," Beverly said vaguely, averting her eyes.
You're trying to hide something. "What about?"
"Jean-Luc…" Are you sure you want to know? He raised his eyebrows with concern, reaching out for her hand.
"Hey, it's okay," he said. She looked down, almost like she was blinking away tears. When her head rose to face him, her eyes were red.
"It's often my job to give people unpleasant news," Beverly spoke softly. She could feel his heart dropping into an abyss. "Jean-Luc, our telepathy… It's not going to go away this time."
"And?" he asked. He could tell she didn't wish to continue saying whatever it was she had to say. "We'll adapt soon to have the range to be further apart. Then our lives will go back to normal, just with something else that makes our connection…" Stronger? More special? More intimate? … More?
She smiled, but he could feel the bitter-sweetness, reaching up and fixing his hair delicately. You deserve better than this, Jean-Luc. "The only way I can find that would stop it would be experimenting with several drugs, the response to which would likely building resistance and so require higher and higher dosages. Or brain surgery which…" She shook her head, looking away. "It would be too severe. Just a small mistake and our minds could be altered irreparably." Her eyes found his again. "With the defect you already have in your parietal lobe, I don't want to put you at further risk."
Don't you understand? "We can find a way to make this work with the telepathy, then." We must, we will. You're strong Beverly, and you give me strength. If it was anyone else but you…
"Then we wouldn't even be here," she finished for him under her breath.
He had talked with Beverly about the future he had seen, some of it at least. The focus he had discussed had been the anomaly in the Devron system, but Beverly was the only other person savvy to his parietal lobe deformity and potential to develop Irumodics Syndrome. Even that had been a hard topic to broach! Jean-Luc couldn't even fathom how he could say other thoughts that had plagued his mind since returning from a future which was now no longer meant to me. At least, he hoped not. Then there was the matter of what could he say? If it was a future, maybe not their future, but still part of the future, then surely that could in some way disrupt timelines if he said too much?
One thing was for sure, he new he couldn't approach the subject while aboard the Enterprise. "We'll have a lot to chat about during our shore leave," he hinted cryptically.
"If you're not sick of my company by then," Beverly teased, flashing a grin.
Never gonna happen, he thought.
Challenge accepted. She leant against his arm again. You're going to be so sick of me, you'll insist upon us staying in different hemispheres of the planet! You'll secretly flee on transport to another planet, Earth, or Vulcan on an archaeological expedition! When the time comes for us to return to the Enterprise, you'll suggest me sent back to Medical! At the last jibe, it wasn't just an emotional response. Jean-Luc's entire demeanour hardened. His brow furrowed, mouth set firmly, muscles tensing. "Jean-Luc?" she asked in surprise.
He fought tears of angry hurt, turning his face away, focusing on his breathing to try and quell his small rage. "Please don't go back to Earth, Beverly."
"Don't worry, I hate it there anyway," she told him easily. He turned in surprise. She went on earnestly, "All the bureaucracy, and standing on ceremony, the pomposity of it all! I couldn't get back fast enough! No, running Starfleet Medical is not for me."
"Then why did you leave?" There was a jab beneath his words betrayed by his feelings, projected to her. As they looked each other in the eye her face transformed into something he feared. Beverly was angry. Except now, thanks to their telepathy, he could feel it! His entire body went cold.
"You aren't the only one who was hurting, Jean-Luc," she said icily. He felt the strength of her words, although he didn't understand them. "I had to do it. I needed the space. I needed to be away. And then when I was ready I came back." At least I came back!
He physically recoiled from the ferocity with which she projected the thought.
She stood in a huff, turning and striding away. Stopping halfway across the room from the nausea indicating the end of their range, she took half a step backwards, crossed her arms stubbornly across her chest and stared out the windows.
We are going to have a lot to talk about on shore leave…
A/N: Thank you DancingDR and sash queen of the jungle for the reviews! I hope you all have a wonderful day & please leave a review!