Beverly waited until it seemed to her that Jean-Luc had fallen asleep. Turning in his bed, she faced him, staring at what she thought was his slumbering body. Minutes ticked past, melting into the mysterious midnight hours when awake Enterprise inhabitants would remember their puny insignificance to the grand vacuous vastness of space.

Are you going to be doing that all night? Jean-Luc finally projected the thought.

Sorry, I couldn't sleep, she apologised. Sensing his curiosity, she spoke aloud, "The patches are itchy again."

Are you still mad at me? What you were saying earlier…

I've been mad since 2354, Jean-Luc, she mentally snapped.

"You said you were afraid after Kesprytt…" he murmured, opening his eyes and turning to face her. "And yet you don't seem afraid, not from what I can sense."

"You really did mean it when you said you missed this," she remarked in kind.

Yes. "What were you afraid of?"

No. She shifted on the bed and tried to smile. "I'm looking forward to being at the beach again, a real beach, not just a holodeck simulation!" she exclaimed.

Beverly, you aren't fooling anyone.

I don't have to fool anyone, just change the subject. You really did miss this?

"Yes." I missed feeling so close to you. Her face fell and she turned away. "Beverly?"

"And yet you were so quick to be angry about Ronin being in my mind," she snapped.

"I'm sorry… I…" I have never had any intention to…

You never considered that maybe I don't want to be psychically linked with you? With anyone?! She shifted on the bed again, restless. "I'll sleep out on the sofa tomorrow night," she told him sternly.

"I didn't ask for this to happen," he whispered. It is what it is and I just want to make the best of it.

Perhaps there isn't a best to be made! "Have you considered that there are things I don't want you to know?" For good reason!

"You have strong mental barriers, you're excellent at shielding your thoughts from me." There are things I'd rather you not know as well, but if someone who knows me had to know them, then I'd want to tell you anyway. Only you know about my having Irumodics Syndrome in the future.

"A future," she corrected out loud.

"What?" he asked.

"You thought 'the future' but it's a future, we can still control our destiny," Beverly said.

"A future, then," he said. Good, perhaps I can do it right then.

Do what right? Her curiosity piqued.

Don't worry about that. "Do you not trust me?"

"No, I trust you, Jean-Luc," she said, sincerely too. I just don't trust myself.

Why? "What is it you are afraid of, Beverly?" Not just of us sharing this link, but deepening our relationship.

She took care that her mental barriers were in place before thinking to herself, Ha! What is there for me not to be afraid of? That you'll find out the secrets of my past? What I saw and did on Arvada? That I never even told Jack about it? Scared that I'll lose you like I keep losing everyone? Scared that you'll leave me again if I press you too hard? Scared of how much it will hurt if, when, you die? Scared that after everyone else, I won't be able to handle another?

You can trust me, Beverly.

"I'm tired, let's just go to sleep," she sighed. She could sense his hopeful almost-offering for her to curl up against him. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. He'll end up getting cold feet and I'll be left out on my own again.

Try as they might, neither slept soundly that night.

A/N: Things aren't going quite so smoothly... it seems the honeymoon period and novelty of it might be wearing off a little for them, perhaps...

Thanks spacekitten2700 and sash queen of the jungle for the reviews! I hope you all have a fantastic day! Please review, let me know your thoughts!