*Okay as always I own nothing of Criminal Minds or Rizzoli & Isles just enjoying using the characters.
Q
Jane went and got her night clothes and heard the shower running in her room and walked over to the bathroom in the other room. She didn't see JJ so she figured that the woman was giving more relief to Emily than just her breast and smiled.
"That was a wicked smile there Jane." Pen said looking up about the time of the smile, "What are you thinking?"
"About how glad I am that JJ is relaxing wonder woman in there before she wants to talk with me."
"Jane... I've known Emily for a long time and when ever she is grumpy it's always because she is trying to protect someone. She never protects herself though except through her silence. She really loves deeply and gives her everything for the ones she loves. But when people care so much they can get hurt badly sometimes. But I'm telling the pot about the kettle... aren't I." She said looking at the woman. "Now that is the only advice on Emily Prentiss that I can give you."
"I'll try and remember it all." She said walking into the bathroom wanting to get away from the self evaluation Pen was making her do. She locked the door so she would feel safe to read Maura's letter. She placed her clothes on the door hook and her grooming kit on the vanity. Then sat down on the toilet seat and pulled the letter she had taken from her jacket moments earlier and held it. Taking a deep breath she opened it and pulled the letter out and a silver necklace fell to the floor. She picked it up and saw that it was a St. Michael's pendent. Keeping it in her hand she unfolded the letter.
Jane...
I sit here with so many emotions flowing through me needing to express some to you but the words want to betray me and run the other way. My life has been one whirlwind after another lately and I realize that I have caught you up in the winds of change with me. This has placed you in an atmosphere that you have no desire to be in I'm sure. Yet your loyalty to our friendship and love for each other has had you jumping into the winds of truth wanting to save me.
My precious Jane... I do not need saving from these winds. I have embraced them fully with all of my heart and have wanted you too as well. I know you do not understand my soul mate but you two really want the same thing... for me to be happy and safe.
You watch and see Jennifer and I flowing together in the love we have for Emily but do not know how to flow the same way with her towards me. She has tried to softly guide you and yet every time she tries it seems she ends up with her thumb on your progress because you two have different pathways of thought. That's not to say one is better than the other they are just different.
I know you are scared that she will take my friendship away but that is not the case. Please remember all the tings she has done to show you that... like sending me over when you had nightmares and teaching you to dance so we could be closer. Even now she asked you to go on these cases to broaden your view and understand hoping it will help. It wan't to punish or change you like it may feel. She has so much responsibility on her shoulders... even more than I thought. And no she hasn't revealed to me why Ian is such a threat which frustrates me too but I know it's because she can't and more than likely I am better off not knowing everything.
I love her Jane... I have loved her since I was fourteen and never have stopped really. She has a good heart... I know this because she gave it to me years ago. I also know it's a lot to ask but listen to her. She wants to talk to you and I know it will be hard on you because I'm sure you are angry about being put in that cell. She told me the charges have not been filed and there is no record of the arrest. The paperwork was in place just in case you fought seeing Ian to hard. She just had to have you away from him for the safety of others. That's all I know.
Yesterday when she found out about everything that she didn't know that happened between us she came and wanted me to call you knowing you were going on a case. She brought Bella to the office so we could have lunch and most of everything we talked about was about you. She is concerned Jane... and it is because she loves you too. I know that may sound empty with all that has transpired between the two of you in the past few days... but it is the truth.
We went to lunch again today because she needed me to help pick out something for you that she has wanted the two of us to give to you. She thought about doing it since she found out about what happened in the office the other day. You are probably holding it in your hand right now. We went to the St. Joseph's gift shop and bought it together for you. I picked it out.
I know you remember when she gave Jennifer her St. Michael's necklace on the mountain in Tennessee. She said that you should have one for being my warrior mate too. We both agree that you and Jennifer are both warrior mates to the both of us since we are together... but of course functioning in different ways. Please wear it as something tangible of our love for you and also as an accomplishment of opening your heart to love on it's purest level.
We need to talk about the other day face to face as well. Emily suggested that we have a warrior mate night before the wedding. Meaning that maybe you and I could have a movie night at your apartment while Jennifer and her do whatever they do. I thought that was an excellent idea and I hope you do too. I love and miss you Jane and I know this is scary for you but know I am here for you and nothing is ever going to change that.
Love... Maura
P.S.
Listen to her... Please.
Jane looked at the shiny necklace in her hand and ran her finger over the angel figure pressed into the silver. She placed the letter on the vanity then the chain on top of it as she started the shower. She needed to think about it all... this wasn't what she had expected and now she wondered what to do with it all.
XXXXX
JJ was standing behind Emily in the shower as the water pellets rained down on them. They both needed this moment to regroup and absorb strength from each other.
"Thank you for expressing my breast Jennifer. I was in pain."
"I wish you would have told me earlier." She said slipping her hands around the woman's waist.
"There wasn't time or a place privet enough."
"Well... we will find one tomorrow so you do not get sore."
"I love you... she said turning and pulling the woman into an embrace then into a kiss." She pulled back, "I saw you express Afari's breast for her when you were on the boat coming home."
JJ looked surprised, "How?"
"Jaclyn didn't stop the camera and so it got recorded and she sent it to me. I have put it on a thumb drive and am saving it for Jenny." She said brushing JJ's face in a loving caress.
"That was the worst part of the mission... when she died." JJ said closing her eyes fighting back the sadness.
"I know love but your mercy relieved her pain and suffering. You gave her hope for her daughter... I totally understand that feeling." She said pulling the woman into another embrace.
"This year has had the most happiest and saddest moments." She said into Emily's shoulder.
"I know love but at least we have each other..." She paused sighing, "I just hope I can find a language that Jane understands so she can see this wonderful world."
"You are amazing at languages Em... but this one is going to have to come from that hard place of placing everything on the table. I know it's going to be hard since she used it before... but she didn't know. She really believes she is going to lose Maura if she doesn't empress you."
"That's so not true... I will have to remove her from Maura's guard detail if she doesn't come around just to keep Maura safe... but I would never ask Maura to give up their friendship."
"I get that but this is all so new to her and she doesn't know that. I must admit it's still all way new to me too. But I learned surrendering to love is much better than not having it." She said smiling a sultry smile and tightening her arms around Emily.
"Surrendering hummm..."
"You like that... don't you? I didn't know you were into S&M." She said smiling repeating Emily's earlier words.
"I'm not... I just love you so much and am thankful for you and Maura's love." She said leaning in and kissing the woman with all the passion she was feeling.
JJ pulled back, "If you keep that up we will be prunes and there will be no talk between you and Jane."
"Promises..." Emily said smiling, "No... we need to talk." She said firmly. "But a warrior mate night is forth coming next week. I am dying to know about that fantasy and I have a new Yale t-shirt that needs a pizza stain on it." JJ caught Emily's lips in a searing kiss that lasted until they both needed air then she turned the water off knowing that if she didn't they weren't going anywhere anytime soon.
They came out and noticed that Jane was still in the bathroom in JJ's room. "I'll go and let her know we are through." JJ said hugging and kissing Emily good night. "We will keep the doors ajar in case of dreams. You can come and slip in with me at any point." She said tightening her arms around the woman.
"It will be okay but I will if I need too." Emily said smiling and letting the woman go.
She walked into her room and went over to the restroom and knocked, "Jane... it's JJ can I come in a moment?"
Jane was brushing her teeth after her shower, "Yeah... come on in." She said after unlocking the door.
She walked in and closed the door and locked it back. Jane looked at her puzzled, "Emily is waiting for you to come and have your talk. I just want you to relax and just be honest with her. She really does love and like you Jane." JJ said trying to prepare Jane.
"You are the second person to tell me that tonight." She said motioning to the letter and the necklace with a head nod. JJ picked up the necklace and smiled knowing what Emily and Maura had done. It was similar to her necklace but different like they were.
"How does that make you feel?"
"I feel accepted and loved but I still feel like a fish out of water." JJ understood what she was saying and went and embraced the woman. "It is going to be okay and the door will be open for you as well if you need to talk with someone. We are a family Jane and sometimes things have to get worked out but I think you will be surprised it's not going to be as bad as you think."
Jane pulled away, "Will you help me put that on?" She asked pointing at the necklace.
"Sure... I would be honored to."
After Jane picked up her clothes, letter, and grooming kit and took a deep breath as JJ opened the door and she walked into her and Emily's room. She put her stuff in a chair and went and closed the door leaving it jarred. She then looked at the woman waiting to see what she should do next. Emily stood up between the beds and motioned for her to come to her. Jane did and stopped at arms distance away from the woman. Emily opened her arms and took one step towards Jane and stopped letting her make the decision to close the distance if she wanted too. It only took seconds for the two to embrace. They stayed that way for several moments absorbing the calming effects of the embrace.
"Let's sit and talk." Emily said after they pulled apart.
"Okay..."
"I see that you have read Maura's letter..." She said noticing the necklace around the woman's neck, "I'm glad." Jane reached for the pendent and smiled. "We thought it would look nice on you and it does."
"Thank you." Jane said from a very dry tooth paste mouth. She wondered if it could get any dryer. She was nervous.
"Jane... I know my silence and secrecy drives you up the wall just as your need to know drives me insane but we want the same things really."
"Yeah... that's what Maura said too."
"Look... I admire your loyalty to Maura and I am grateful to you for keeping her safe throughout the years. I cherish the friendship that you two have developed. I have no desire to destroy that relationship. If anything I want it to grow deeper for the two of you."
Jane looked at her, "You know I never understood how you could love Maura as much as you said you did. Especially since you never came for her after the week she spent with you in D.C. ... But I now understand that you couldn't for her protection."
"Jane... I have never wanted to be without Maura. God... she is my heart but I want her safe and happy and if that meant I had to stay away then I did. But when Jennifer and her came to London and brought me back to here. I just couldn't be without her any more. I have lost two loves to violence and I almost lost Chessie too. I needed her so much and wanted her. I was and am tired of being without her."
Jane almost hit her head when the realization that Emily had lost Kia this time last year hit her. "Oh my God Emily... I am so sorry... God I'm so stupid."
"What?" Emily said leaning forward and cupping Jane's cheek in concern.
"You lost Kia last year at this time... that's why you have been so stressed."
"Yes... and by putting my hand through that wall the other night I have triggered things in Chessie I'm afraid as well."
"Damn it!" Jane said standing up almost feeling sick.
"What is it?"
"I think I've done it again Emily. I told Maura about you taking those Xanax earlier."
"Come and sit back down." Jane looked at her like "is it safe."
"It is safe I assure you." She said and smiled as Jane sat back down. "I knew it was you that called Maura. She wouldn't have called while I was on a case if you hadn't. I also know that she already knew about everything but had promised someone not to tell me that she knew. I am betting that someone has to be my mother. But she was worried and gave Jennifer clues so she would remember Kia. She knew that Jennifer could help me if she knew what was going on and she was right. I feel much better."
"Damn you are good." Jane said looking at her with respect.
"I a profiler and I know my wife and my family very well." She said smiling at Jane. "Now the one thing I am going to ask you to do from now on... is to start coming to me if you have a question that concerns me. Granted I may not be able to answer everything... and if that happens... I ask you to respect me and know that I will tell you when and if I can but the voyeur thing has to stop. I realize that they were accidents but I can't take that behavior at all."
"I'm sorry about that." Jane said looking down at her hands.
Emily reached and cupped her cheek again and rubbed her thumb over it trying to comfort the woman. Jane looked up and Emily took in a deep breath, "God... you look so much like Kia at times." She said while continuing to rub her thumb over Jane's cheek. The moment got thick with silence as Emily leant forward and pressed her lips to Jane's in a soft acknowledgement of the past.
Jane sat frozen not really knowing what to do but something about the kiss felt familiar. "Maybe I'm channeling Kia for the woman" was the only believable explanation She thought about the feeling as Emily pulled back realizing what she had done. "I'm sorry Jane. I..."
It was Jane's turn to hold Emily's cheek, "Don't apologize... I want to be here for you too Emily. I just do not know how... none of this makes sense or is written in a handbook."
"Well you are right about that." She said smiling at the woman. Not really knowing where to go from there Emily asked, "Are we good?"
"I think we are for the moment." Jane said smiling.
"Good... tomorrow is going to be a taxing day." Emily said changing the subject.
"Do you want me to get JJ to sleep in here?" She asked wanting to help Emily out of the awkwardness.
"No... they are already asleep I'm sure."
Jane thought a moment, "I could take her place tonight. Maybe it will help you more since I look like Kia."
"That is a very nice idea Jane... thank you." She said as she slid over so Jane could come up to where she was.
"Do I need to set an alarm?" Jane asked looking at her.
"No... JJ will be up early and if she isn't Peppy Panda in there will be."
Jane laughed at the woman's nick name for Pen, "Some how I know that's a true statement." She said turning the light out and laying down so Emily could put her head on her chest. "Emily..."
"Yeah..."
"Are you going to at some point hold my boob?"
"Probably... it's just how I'm wired... is that a problem?"
"No... as long as you don't throw me out again. It's just such a rejection afterwards." She said as they both giggled.
"Good night Jane."
"Night Em."
I may not make my dead line :(
But I am staying true to the story and the characters.
There is just so much more juiciness left in this section that late will have to do. (Note: this is not X+Y not = Z that's in the next post)