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Chapter Eleven.
Disheartened.
Ana.
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Leaving Will's office, I nearly sprint all the way back to my car. I'm itching to dive into the information he gave me, but I don't want to start looking through it, while I'm wandering down the street. God, only knows, where I'd end up.
Once I'm back in my car, and with the help of my phone, I locate, and book myself, into a room at a nearby hotel. Nothing to swanky or expensive, but it's close by and looks nice enough from its website. I head there nervously, filled with anticipation, eager to find out what I can, in regards to Christian.
An hour later. I've checked into my room, unpacked the small bag I brought with me from home, and taken a quick shower. Room service has arrived, I'm settled on the small sofa in my pj's, and now that I know there's nothing else to distract, or interrupt me, I flip open the file that Will gave me and dive right in.
As I'm reading, I pull out my laptop and begin researching Christian further. Using the information in the file as starting points. My eyes begin to blur as I scroll down the list of links that correspond with simply entering his name into a search engine. The more I delve into the life of this man, the more daunting this becomes. Honestly, I don't know where to start.
For someone so young, Christian, has been one hell of a busy guy.
There are hundreds of news clippings, videos, and even interviews, documenting his successful, business dealings and rise to self made CEO. It's very impressive, but Will, was right, he's known to be ruthless in the boardroom and takes no prisoners, in order to get what he wants. He is also a very rare, very stoical interviewee. I've found it hard, near impossible even, to find one picture of him, with a hint of a smile on his face. Never mind, a full blown smile.
He seems cold, hard, indifferent, and Will, was correct again, very unapproachable. How do I penetrate that? How do I gain entry to his mans life, and mix in his circles? How do I break down the walls he's build around himself, when I can't get close enough to him to try? He's kept himself separated, aloof and unreachable, and trying to breach all he has around him, makes me nervous, and not in a good way.
I understand, why he is the way he is. I lived a similar life, not so long ago, just without the millionaire perks and top notch, security. So no matter what, I have to find a way to reach him. For his sake, if nothing else.
Refocusing, and jumping from another starting block. It's like reading about a completely different entity. The charitable side to Christian Grey is awe inspiring. His sizable, charitable donations, and aid shipments to needy country's, fills me with pride and brings a tear to my eye. It's proudly splashed all over the news and evenly balances out the tyrant, ruling the business section.
Even his schooling was impressive, he went to Harvard, no less. Granted, he never graduated, but it certainly didn't hinder him in any way. Then, there is his family, each and everyone, accomplished in some way, but the more I research, the more frustrated I become, because there really is nothing personal.
Will, was right, there's nothing linking him to any interests outside of work, or with any woman romantically. None whatsoever. There's nothing to latch on to. Nothing, that can help me get my foot in the door. Not unless, I have a company that needs rescuing, or a charity function that I'd like him to attend, then I haven't a hope of getting near him.
I begin to research Escala, considering, no matter how dangerous it might be, just braving it out and knocking on his door, but it's futile. It's all authorized guests, high-tech security and access codes. It would be impossible, to just walk in off the street and ring his doorbell, and even though I've watch countless episodes of Leverage, and consider myself quiet agile. I could never do a Parker, and zip wire onto the roof from an adjacent building. Even though it would be the nearest point of entry for contact as Christian resides in the penthouse. Of course he does.
What is it with this guy and heights?
Considering everything, Grey House, seems to be the most viable and accessible option open to me. It's the one place, Christian, seems to spend most of his time. I know that security is rigid, and the 'witch' sitting in reception won't let me pass her easily, but it offers me a wide range of variables and too many opportunities for contact, to avoid. So that is where I will focus my efforts.
The more I research Grey House, the more the building fascinates me. The building its self, is broken up into several large Grey, departments, but it also leases out floors to many smaller businesses. The structure itself is prime real estate, and Christian, has used every square inch of it to its full advantage.
Including, all four corners.
The larger of the two, front facing corners, is a trendy looking, coffee shop. A coffee shop, that of course, I will frequent. He has to drink, right? Plus, it's a good spot to watch the main entrance to the building from, especially in the morning. Will Christian use the front entrance? Somehow, with him being the boss and everything, I can't see him just walking in and out with his staff every day. He, probably, drives into the building and has a private entrance, just for himself. Heaven forbid, he should actually mingle with the ants, below him. I try not to feel too disappointed at the barriers that are appearing left, right and center.
I smile to myself as I check out the adjacent corner, because that, is where I'll be spending most of my time, and not just because it has a clear view of the underground parking garage, but because it's a bookstore. An enticing, warm and welcoming, looking book store that is calling out to me. Considering I've an English degree, it really will be no hardship at all, to linger in there all day.
I can't believe, I never noticed the attributes to Grey House, before, but it's understandable. I went there, with blind determined, tunnel vision, and left, with tears of frustration and anger pooling my eyes. I wasn't really assessing my surroundings at the time.
The rear of the building, is just as opportunistic. It holds a private gym, which of course I'll join. I'll definitely, be making use of their treadmills, because I've missed my morning runs. It's been a few months, since I've felt refreshed enough for a morning run. After sleepless nights, exercise is the last thing on my mind when I can barely stand. Maybe, after a few nights of sleeping better, I could venture out around Seattle. The thought appeals.
The final corner of the building, is a music story, and it's like he has every base covered. It's been so long since I've sat down and played my guitar, that I'm gutted I never thought to bring it with me, but I could always pop in and buy a new one. See, every corner is a dream. It really won't be a chore, loitering around Christian's building all day, hoping for an opening.
I wonder, if the building suits Christian, himself. Is he musical? Does he like to keep fit? Can he lose time, lost in a good book, while nursing a cup of coffee? If he does, then we have a lot in common.
Shutting my laptop down, I place it on the sofa beside me, along with all the public record information, Will, gave me. I pull my legs up onto the sofa and recline as best I can. My eyes are beginning to cross and my head is swimming from reading for so long, and despite everything I've read, I'm feeling kind of frustrated, because what have I actually found out about him?
I've read every bit of information I can find on Christian, and feel like I know him inside out, yet I know nothing about him. I know everything he's done with his life, academically, business wise and generously, but nothing, nada about the man himself.
Who is he?
A big part of me, worries that I'll never get to find out. That I'll never get near him. His walls just seem to big to over come, but there has to be a way of meeting him. I just pray, that looking through less tired eyes in the morning, I might find something. A glimmer of a way in.
Why couldn't he be a regular Joe?
Glancing around my hotel room, I catch sight of the clock on the wall. It's later than I thought, so I quickly reach for my phone. I need to rest, clear my head, get some sleep, but I need to call Aunt Meg first. I promised to call her and let her know how I got on, and if I was staying.
I run to the en-suite bathroom, quickly take a pee, wash up and brush my teeth. I turn off the lights and pull open the drapes, to let in a little light, then jump into bed.
Meg, answers her phone, on the second ring. All eager and excited, to know the details about our reunion, but what could I tell her?
I gave her a brief run down of events with Will, etc., just to stop her worrying, and a promise to keep in touch. She wished me luck, ordered me to stay safe, and even though she didn't say it outright, I know she thinks I'm crazy, and this could all be a waste of time.
Laying in a strange bed, in a strange city, trying to get close to a man I don't know. I'm starting to think that maybe she's right and I am crazy. Should I let sleeping dogs lie? Should I take his stay away persona, as a sign to keep my distance? No, he needs to know I'm alive. He needs to see me, to believe it's me. He will be so relieved when he does. I know he will. I just have to get a chance to do it.
A phone call, a letter, an impersonal text or email, does not suit this situation. I could never inform him of my existence like that. He needs to hear it from me. I want him to hear it from me. I want to look him in the eyes when I tell him who I am. I want to see the life return, to his beautiful grey eyes.
Pushing my doubts aside. I snuggle down into my temporary bed, and wonder, what Christian is doing at this exact moment. The parted curtains, give me a glimpse of the life in this city, and it feels good to be here. Christian is here, this is his city, his life, and I want to be a part of it.
My mind begins to drift off with disjointed, but hopeful thoughts. I'm lulled into sleep, reassured, now I know for certain that Christian is alive and so, so close.
I just hope I can find a way to meet him. I know one thing, though. I won't give up until I do.
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It's hardly surprising, after spending so much time lost in the life of Christian, that I dreampt about him. What is surprising, is I never woke up, and it's now a little after 10.30 in the morning, and I can't remember ever sleeping so late, or for so long.
It's left me bright eyed, bushy tailed, and keen to investigate further. I'm more determined than ever to find a way of getting close to Christian. So, I stretch like a contented cat, jump out of bed, order breakfast, take a shower, then eagerly, log back on.
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As my eyes open on Sunday morning, I'm thankful, for the second night of uninterrupted, glorious sleep I've had, but I know for certain, that if I don't get out of this bed and out of this room, I'm going to go crazy.
I spent all of yesterday, just pigging out on room service, perched in front of my laptop, and truthfully, frustratingly, I'm no better off than I was on Friday.
I'm beginning to think that maybe I should just write him a letter?
When I close my eyes, lines of swirling text and numerous pictures of Christian, dance under my eyelids. I need to pull myself together and put some distance between me and all of this. I need to shake myself free for a bit.
So, today, is for me, and I feel like running.
I ring the concierge downstairs, and with his help, manage to obtain some running gear from the store in the Hotel. He advises me on a safe, and popular running route around the harbor, which is not too far away.
Within fifteen minutes, my clothes have arrived and before I can talk myself out of it, order breakfast, or give in to my laptop again. I don my running gear, pull on my trainers, a cap and dark shades, and hit the streets of Seattle. I hope to burn off my frustration, clear my head of piercing grey eyes, and impossibilities, and of course, blow the cobwebs away.
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