Authors Note:

You all asked for it, with the exception of one or two people, I will continue this YOU FOR THE HUGE RESPONSE TO CHAPTER ONE! Please keep letting me know what you are thinking. I have never done an AU story before.

I did think this story would be a one off, but now that I have finished 50 Shades of Growing Up, I can work on this. I do not know if I can do the storyline justice. If anyone wants to be a beta for this story, I would appreciate it. Please PM me, if you're interested. This story will not be a saga like my last story.

Regards,

Maria Amore

The Meaning of Grace

Christians POV:

"Elliot, Why are you here in my garage?" I enquire displeased at the sight of my brother in the garage of Escala. Elliot looks quite pleased with himself for reasons I cannot fathom right now.

"Come on Christian, you know exactly what I am doing. Want me to drive? I have been wanting to get behind the wheel of this new car." Man he is an arrogant bastard.

"Get into the passenger seat, Lelliot." I throw his childhood nickname at him but get no reaction.

I pull my sunglasses out of the V of my shirt before I hit the Seattle streets. I know that Elliot is going to try to probe me for details. I believe it is best to cover up as much as I can. Elliot might be a bastard, but at the same time, he isn't an idiot and does know me too well.

"So Elliot, you are yet to answer my question. Why are you here?"

"There is a couple of reasons actually. First is self-preservation. Once you tell mom and dad about Ted, and they make your death look like an accident, I suppose they are going to come after me, for more answers. When they find out that I also knew about Ted, I am going to look like a co-conspirator, which effectively I am, and I will be buried next to you. This way standing next to you, I don't look half as miserable." I almost wish he was mocking me now, but he is being honest.

"So you are saving our parents time and effort?"

"Something like that," he says.

"Did Ted reach you to tell you he was in town? Have you seen him?"

I reckon I already know the answers to these questions. I haven't told him yet that I have seen Ted. My son must have already spoken to him. Regardless, I want to know what he knows. We haven't been able to track Ana's current location down. The security I had keeping an eye on them in New York failed to follow them here to Seattle. A fatal error that lead to their immediate termination.

Welch has been tracking Ted's phone, but he turns it off before he reaches any hotel or residence. So I have only been able to track the places he has been visiting. I should have put Sawyer or someone on him as soon as he left Grey House. I just didn't want him to catch on or anything. Our relationship was already strained. Actually we honestly didn't have a relationship. I wonder if I will be able to fix that.

"Get with it Christian, you know I talk to Ted on the phone, at least twice a month" Elliot states coldly. Is he trying to make me feel guilty? He hates my lack of personal attention to my son. But Elliot is short sighted.

"So what has he told you lately?" I grill him. I can read Elliot like a book. I know Kate has him by the balls. If she told him not to tell me anything, he would probably comply with her wishes.

"Christian cut to the chase. What is it you want to know?" Elliot looks annoyed.

"Where is Ana staying?" I ask straight out.

"Gosh, you are one fucked up bastard! Shouldn't you be focusing on seeing Ted, rather than chasing Ana, who you hurt and nearly destroyed? She loved you. Did you really love her unconditionally? He accuses. I refuse to make any comment. I have hidden my heart for over seventeen years.

I hit the 520 bridge, and I can feel my heart leap into my throat, with every mile that I get closer to Bellevue. Damn this is going to be bad. Do I genuinely want to expose myself to my parents, especially my mother, to my fifty shades of fucked up? Stepping out of the car, I refocus myself. Control Christian, control! Just like you do every day at Grey House.

"Christian, give me your car keys?" Elliot's demands.

"What?"

"It will be much more respectful for me have the keys to your car in my pocket. After our parents have murdered you, rather than go through your pockets, to find your keys, when you are cold and dead." If only Elliot was joking.

My parent's current house keeper opens the door. "Mr and Mrs Grey are in the dining room" she informs us. She looks down as she talks to us, a perfect submissive stance. Though I fail to acknowledge her again, I know it annoys her. But she means nothing.

Our parents, as usual, look happy to see us. I know that they miss Mia, ever since she moved permanently to Paris, for work. I rang my parents beforehand, but they didn't know about Elliot coming also. I shake my father's hand and kiss my mother, careful never to let her touch me. I know this stings her, she got such a small window of opportunity to hold me. Elliot fills this void successfully.

"Join us for lunch. We don't get to see enough of you both." My mother's tone is so cheerful.

Over lunch, we engage in conversation over everyday matters. Our parents ask about work and charity projects I am working on. They continue to ask Elliot about his construction company, Kate and Ava.

I am surprised that we have been able to keep Ted's existence private. Only Elliot, Kate, Ana, Ted and I know that he is my son. Fuck, even Ava doesn't know he is her cousin.

"Christian, you aren't eating very much. Are you unwell?" My mother quizzes. I look at my plate, and she is right. I always eat.

"I am not unwell mother" I take another bite of my steak. Elliot is looking at me impassively, urging me to tell them already. I drop my fork, deciding that I just have no choice.

"Mom and Dad, there is something I need to talk to you about" my lips form a hard line, and I run my fingers through my hair. "Can we go into the living room? I think it would be a more appropriate place to talk."

"Yeah, away from any knifes" Elliot's mumbles quietly.

"What was that Elliot" my mother asks.

"Nothing mother." I give Elliot a dark look that manages to subdue him. I don't want him making this any harder, than it needs to be.

Whilst drinking tea, my parents are seated next to each other, whilst Elliot, and I are seated opposite them. The only thing that is missing from this scene is Mia, then we would have replicated the same positions we took when we were all getting a dressing down for poor behaviour growing up.

"Okay, Christian you have kept us in suspense long enough, what it is you wanted to talk to us about?" Dad enquires. Do I come out and tell them? Straight up or ease them into it. Hell! What do I say?

"Mom and Dad there is someone, who wants to meet you both. I told him that I would come and see you first, to talk to you both about arranging a meeting." Great tell them directly but be as mysterious as fuck! My parent's look curiously surprised as they whisper to each other for a moment. My mother nods her head. They look at me, like they never have before.

"You want us to meet a male friend of yours?" My dad emphasises the word friend in only a way he can.

Hell! They think I am gay, again? "Haven't we past this, 'is Christian gay' proposition, years ago when I was with Ana? I did marry her after all." I tell them not thinking.

"But you both broke up so suddenly and then you were never with any other girl. Ever. We assumed it was because you were finally accepting that you were gay" My mother tells me.

Elliot is desperately trying to stifle his laugh. Damn I want to punch him, here and now.

"No. I am NOT gay" I tell them annoyed. My patience is wearing out thin.

"Then who is this person you want us to meet?" My mother's asks confused. I take a long deep breath, hoping it isn't my last one.

"My Son" I am keeping my words as minimalistic as possible. Both my parents stop moving and suddenly the large living room becomes uncomfortable and constrictive.

"Your son?" My mother asks.

"Yes. Theodore Raymond Steele, he goes by Ted" I inform them. My mom gets suddenly still and quiet, supported now by dad gripping her hand.

"Steele? Ana, Ana Steele is his mother? She named him after my father" Mom comments. My parents are now momentarily speechless.

"Yes." I tell them.

"How old is he?" My mother queries. I was waiting for this question.

"He is seventeen. He is a senior. He has actually been accepted into some IVY league colleges." I am trying to change the thought process that my mother is now undertaking by rambling. I know she is mentally calculating everything.

"What month was Ted born?" My mother asks, spitefully.

"Ted was born in May, and for the sake of your calculations he was full-term"

"So Ana was pregnant when you both broke up. Did she tell you she was pregnant?"

"Yes" How do I tell them that the pregnancy was one of the reasons why we broke up, amongst other things?

"And you let her go? WHY? And why are we now, just learning that we have a grandson?" Mom is standing up, frustrated and upset. Dad looks furious. They have been mad at me in the past, but this was a thousand times worse.

"Ana and I just thought it was easier, to keep it quiet" I shrug my shoulders. I seriously don't know what we were thinking, when we agreed to this solution.

"Easier? On who?" Dad asks. I ignore his question, it doesn't have a positive answer.

"Christian, we may not have agreed with many of the decisions you have made in your life, but we always supported you. We have always forgiven you." Mom takes a deep breath. She isn't yelling, but there is a strong undercurrent of disappointment in her voice. It is worse than her yelling.

"But this is worse than anything you have ever done, or at least that we know of. I can't imagine anything worse a person or a father, could do. You have deprived us of our grandson, seeing him grow up, spending time with him, having a relationship with him. This is unforgivable." Mom is now standing in front of the window, she has assumed a quiet stance and won't even look at me now. Elliot lowers his head. Even he can't stand, to see our parents in so much heartache

"Elliot, you seem rather calm about all this, when did you learn about this situation?" Dad interrogates. Elliot is startled and looks at me. He slumps his shoulders down and gives up.

"I have known since the beginning. I am sorry mom and dad, but I… I" Elliot is lost for words. "Kate and Ana have kept in close contact throughout the years."

Dad moved towards the liquor cabinet, takes two glass out, some ice and then pours two relatively strong drinks. This is not a good sign. Hell, none of this has been good for over seventeen years.

"Does Mia know? What about Ava?" My mother asks, still not looking away from the window.

"No, Mia doesn't know. Ava doesn't know that Ted is her cousin, but she knows about him." I inform them.

"How much of a role have you taken in your son's life?" My mother asks curiously. She has turned around now to look at us. She is trying to read us to see if we are lying or not.

"Ana moved to New York when Ted was five years old" I mention, not quite stating the answer to her question, but in my mind, I have used this for an excuse, for my negligence in my sons life.

"And you own an apartment in New York; however, you haven't answered my question. How involved have you been in Ted's life?" My mother backtracks. Hell I feel like a child being scolded again, and I deserve it!

"I have provided for my son, for as much as Ana would allow. I have ensured he received an excellent education, had access to everything he wanted and need" I argue.

"Except be a father, from the sounds of it" my dad argues spitefully.

"Did you ever see him? Don't lie to me Christian, did you ever see Ted after he was born?" My mother enquires forcefully and sad.

"Sometimes, not much. Since Friday, I hadn't seen him in twelve years. Not since he and Ana left for New York." I hate myself just saying this.

My mother is alternating between sadness and anger. I don't blame her. I wanted to try to hug her, apologise to her, but I can't take the risk. I can't have anyone touch me again anymore. I also couldn't handle her rejecting me. I am more fucked up than ever! I honestly don't care what people think about me, but when it came to my own parents, especially my mother, this was another story. Damn! The only other person, I have never wanted to hurt was Ana, and I screwed that all up.

"Look, I didn't come here to argue or evaluate, how much of shitty father I have been. I came here to tell you that Ted wants to meet you both. I thought it would be more appropriate to tell you both in person, rather than have Taylor bring him over and surprise you both. Do you want to meet him?" My parents looks at each other and nod.

"Of course we do? When can we meet him?" My father asks.

"I will have to ring him, but I can try and organise for him to come tomorrow? I know its Monday but …"

"Tomorrow is fine, and I rather you weren't here Christian" My mother states coldly to me. I look away from her. I had planned on actually not coming tomorrow. I have another pressing issue to tackle tomorrow while Ted is occupied meeting his grandparents. Though I make a mental note to see Ted again, alone before he goes back East. I actually realise that I don't even know how long he is in Seattle.

"I will set it up and have Taylor pick him up. I will contact you and tell you what time he will be arriving" I tell my parents hoping this calms them.

"There is no need for you to reach us. Taylor can contact us instead" My mother tells us. My lips form a hard line, and pain hits me. My mother has never not wanted me to ring her.

I leave my parents' house, wondering when they would ever welcome me back. Both way, I had organised for Ted, to visit his grandparents, and I now knew where Ana was. Elliot had confirmed my suspicions when he arrived at Escala.

I barely slept that night rather, I am transfixed to my piano. Sad melodies occupy the apartment, expressing my feelings. Just like I have done every night since Ana left me, all those years ago. I can't even bring myself to step into the house we purchased. The house that was going to be ours. I had Elliot finish renovating it as per Ana's direction, and then locked it up. The only people that step in there is cleaning company and security, who look after the properties upkeep.

Ted's POV

Gosh my hair, why doesn't it obey? It is unruly, no matter what I do. I should have gotten a haircut before I left to meet my grandparents. Grandparents I could refer to them as Mr Grey and Mrs Grey? Or should I refer to them by their first names?

Damn not again. Ever since, I arrived in Seattle, I have encountered this issue with names? You don't know what to call your own father and now your own grandparents. I give up trying to work out anything here in Seattle! Maybe I made an error convincing my mother to come to here. Thankfully, my thoughts are broken by the sound of the doorbell.

"Mom, I am leaving. There is a guy called Taylor here to drive me" I tell her from the door of her room.

"Taylor? Jason Taylor?" Mom looks pale as if she has seen a ghost.

"Yeah. Do you know him?"

"Yes, I do, but it doesn't matter, it is all in the past. Have a fantastic time with your grandparents. They are incredible people" She reassures me.

"I will try. You should get some more sleep and something to eat. You still look tired" I tell her, making her roll her eyes at me. Shouldn't I be the one doing that, not her?

I feel uncomfortable somehow as I enter the car. Taylor is staring at me. Does he know who I am? I want to question him. My mother just admitted to me that she knew him. I want to find out what he knows about my parents. What were they like together? What made them separate? Why dad has kept out of my life but insists on throwing money at me? I just want answers. I am desperate, I need to know, who I am. But most of all, I need to know one thing. One thing that I should have asked my father when I had the opportunity. One question that would break my mother's heart if I asked her.

Taylor drives into the driveway of a colonial-style mansion. The garden is perfectly manicured. My nerves get the better of me for a minute, but I hide my uncontrolled emotions and compose myself. I knock on the door knowing that I am about to get a piece of the mystery that is me.

Ana's POV

I am worried about Ted. Ever since that Forbes article he has become so focussed, almost obsessed, on finding answers to questions he won't ask me. He doesn't want to hurt me, but I fear he might be on a path to self-destruction. I know that Grace and Carrick will welcome him appropriately. I step out of the shower, glad that we did decide to stay here rather than a hotel. It has helped to ensure this trip, isn't focused on rehashing bad memories.

I step out of the shower, wrapping the too small towel around me, to get dressed in the bedroom.

"Christian?" I call out. Grabbing my robe. He is sitting there on the small couch to the side of the room. "How did you get in here?" I ask

Christian has a dark look in his eyes, and his lips have narrowed. I haven't seen him like this for so long... Not since…

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