AN: Thank you all so much for sticking with me and being patient with this. The song I use in this chapter is "Nightingale" by Demi Lovato. Also, I did this from my phone, so it removed all of my formatting. Sorry if it looks weird.
Emma's phone rang. She rolled over and glanced at the clock. 2:06AM. Here we go again. "Hey you," she answered without having to look at the ID. "Have another nightmare?" The initial response came out as a muffled sob. This must be a really bad one. "Hey. It's okay. Breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth. You're safe, Regina. I'm right here."
"Emma. It was awful," Regina finally managed to say.
"What happened this time?" Emma asked.
"I was a child again. She just kept hitting me. I cried and begged her to stop, but she wouldn't," she choked out, still sobbing.
"Shhhh. It's okay. She can't hurt you anymore. She's better now, and you guys are okay."
"Emma?"
"Yeah. I'm here."
"Will you sing to me?"
"Okay."
I can't sleep tonight
Wide awake and so confused
Everything's in line
But I'm bruised
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I kinda need a hero
Is it you?
I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time for you to find me
Can you be my nightingale?
Sing to me
I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale
Somebody speak to me
Cause I'm feeling like hell
Need you to answer me
I'm overwhelmed
I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I need a star to follow
I don't know
I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time for you to find me
Can you be my nightingale
Sing to me
I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale
I don't know what I'd do without you
Your words are like a whisper cutting through
As long as you are with me here tonight
I'm good
Can you be my nightingale?
Feels so close
I know you're there
Oh, nightingale
Sing to me
I know you're there
Cause baby you're my sanity
You bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale
"That's a new one," Regina whispered on the other end.
"Yeah. I was inspired," Emma smiled into the phone.
"I love it. Thank you Emma."
"Anytime. Are you okay now?" she asked.
"I'm better," Regina sighed. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, you never have to apologize for this. Ever," Emma insisted.
"Okay."
"Are you coming to the New Years show tomorrow?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh, and Robin is probably going to come with me."
"Oh, okay. That's cool. See you tomorrow Regina. Get some sleep."
"Goodnight Emma."
Emma peaked out of the curtain. Shit. He did come with her. She frowned.
"What's up with you?" Ruby questioned?
"Regina is here with a guy," Lily answered for her.
"That is not-" she stopped talking when she saw them all giving her the same look.
"Oh, honey, it's okay." Mary Margaret wrapped her in a hug.
"Gee thanks, Mom," Emma joked.
"Em, she'll see what we see eventually," Ruby tried to comfort her.
"It is really obvious," David chimed in.
"What? No it's not," Emma jumped to defend herself.
"Oh let's count the reasons," Aurora started. "You have Henry like all the time."
"Because I want to!" she shot back.
"You see her at least twice a week," Mary Margaret inserted.
"I see you guys more than that!" she shouted.
"Because we are your band," Lily responded. "You text her all the time."
"And you guys don't even know the most important reason!" Ruby shouted, causing them all to turn to her. "She calls Emma around 2AM on a regular basis, and Emma sings to her."
"Awww," Mary Margaret and Aurora chorused.
"That is none of your business," Emma seethed.
"Hey, it's okay. We won't tell anyone," David smirked. "We've got a show to play."
Emma raced off the stage when they finished. Another band was to follow their set, so she was free to ring in the New Year as part of the crowd and she intended to be very drunk. She had let herself hope that Robin wouldn't actually show up, but there he had been, swaying in the crowd right behind Regina. She was going to need a lot of alcohol tonight.
Regina approached her at the bar. "Hey Emma. That was wonderful."
"Thanks," Emma replied without looking her way. "You want a drink?"
"I've got one, thank you. I wanted to introduce you to Robin." The blonde finally turned to look at her. "Robin, this is Emma."
The man reached out his right hand to shake Emma's and she caught a glimpse of what seemed to be a lion tattooed on his wrist. She shook his hand, only because she didn't want to upset her friend. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Likewise, Regina speaks very highly of you," he told her.
She smirked back at him, wondering if this guy had any idea about how close they actually were. Did he know his girlfriend chose to call her last night when she couldn't sleep? Doubtful. "What about you?" she asked. "You want a drink?"
"I've got one," he replied holding up his scotch.
"Jefferson!" Emma called over the counter. "Can I get three straight tequila shots?!"
"Coming right up!"
"Love the hat, by the way!" she yelled back as she waited for her drinks. "You two go! Dance! Have fun!" she turned back to Regina and Robin.
"Come join us later," Regina said as pulled Robin back onto the crowded dance floor.
Jefferson came up a moment later with her tequila shots. "Lady troubles?" he asked, noting the way Emma watched Regina.
It made her stomach clench to watch the woman she wanted with someone else, but she couldn't seem to turn her eyes away from the sway of those hips in yet another perfect dress. "Mind your own business Jeff," she warned.
"I wasn't trying to be nosy, Emma. Maybe you should just hide your lady boner for her better? Besides when you ask for straight tequila, something is always up."
Emma downed all three shots back to back and asked for more. By the time Regina came looking for her again, she had been through at least fifteen shots. "Gina!" she yelled, stumbling over to the woman and wrapping her in a hug. "Weresurfrend?" she slurred.
"How many has she had?" the brunette glared at Jefferson.
"I lost count," he replied with a shrug.
Regina didn't get to respond as Emma lightly pulled her toward the dance floor and began dancing. She had never seen the blonde so drunk, but it was still early enough that it would have some time to wear off. She sighed at began dancing too, figuring that would be the best way to keep Emma occupied until she sobered up a little.
At 11:59 the entire dance floor stood still. Will was on the stage and with 30 seconds left til midnight he shouted, "Are you ready for bloody great new year?!" Shouts surrounded them, but Emma's forest eyes locked on Regina's brown ones. "10…" Regina stared back. "9… 8… 7…" Emma's eyes darted to Regina's lips and back up. "6… 5… 4…" Regina was still watching her. "3…" She was going to do this. "2… 1." She closed the distance between them.
Regina had turned her head just as Emma lurched forward. The result being a kiss on her friend's cheek instead of the one she had planned. She pulled away, tears in her eyes, not even trying to hide it this time.
"Emma, what was that?" Regina almost pleaded. The green eyes streaming with tears just stared at her. "Say something."
"Why?" was all she managed.
"Because you are my best friend and I am asking. What was that?" she asked the question slowly, as if she were making sure that Emma understood what she was asking.
"I don't know. It just felt like it was supposed to happen." Emma stated, sobering at once. "As your best friend, can we just pretend it didn't happen? I know you're with Robin. I don't know what I was thinking."
Over the next month, things were a bit crazy for both of the women. Emma still babysat Henry whenever she could and Regina still called Emma when she couldn't sleep. Emma was so angry with herself. She had been writing like crazy to get her emotions out, and the end result had been seven new songs for the band to learn. They had been practicing more than not lately. It was Emma's excuse for getting out of having to hang out with the brunette that plagued her dreams. She had to hand it to Regina. She had asked her to act like it never happened, and that's exactly what she was doing. But today Emma received news that she just had to share with the brunette.
Ring, Ring
"Emma," Regina sighed. She completely forgot her hello as relieved as she was that she was not doing the calling this time. Maybe things were going back to normal.
The blonde could hear the smile in her voice. She thought her heart would shatter into a million pieces at the sound of Regina's happiness, but she forced it away and responded, "Hey you."
"What's going on?" she asked with a hint of worry, now realizing that it was the middle of the day and Emma knew she was working.
"Oh. I didn't mean to worry you! I know you're at the office. I'll make this quick. I just got really amazing news and you were the first person I wanted to tell."
"Let's hear it," she said, excited for her friend.
"We have a meeting with Mr. Gold from Gold Records!" Emma shouted into her ear.
"Oh my God! Emma, that's amazing!"
"I know! I can't believe it! I told you guys something good was about to happen. What if this is it?"
"I'm so excited for you! When is your meeting?"
"Well, he's really busy so there's a week long wait. We leave for LA on the 15th."
"Do you want me to get another sitter for Henry for Valentine's Day, so you can pack and rest?"
"What? No way! I want to spend as much time with him as possible before I leave. He's kinda my best friend," she laughed.
"Well, there is no 'kinda' for him. You are definitely his."
"He would be mine, but there's someone else that I consider mine and I've been kind of a dick to her lately, even though she's been really awesome and not at all awkward with me. I just don't know if she'll forgive me?" she questioned.
"I'm sure she will. Have you told her all this?" Regina teased.
"Oh, ha ha. Seriously though. I'm sorry for being stupid."
"Are you alright then?"
"Yeah I'm good. I just have a bruised ego," Emma laughed again. "Say you forgive me and it'll hurt a little less." She'd forgotten how easy it was to joke with this woman.
"There's nothing to forgive. I'm fine, you're fine, we're fine," she said sincerely.
"Say fine one more time and I won't believe you."
"Emma, I forgive you. Is that better?"
"Yep. I can see the swelling going down as we speak," she joked.
"You're ridiculous. I've missed you."
"Ditto. Bring the kid early tomorrow?"
"Of course."
Regina told her to show up at the park two hours early to drop Henry off. Emma wrapped the woman into a hug so tight that it lifted her off the ground. "I'm sorry I'm stupid," she grinned and ruffled Henry's hair.
"It's alright. Tell me about this meeting," Regina nearly demanded as Henry ran off to play despite the bitter cold.
"Well, you know we've been sending our tracks off to like, every major label." Regina nodded. "Rubes thought we were just wasting our time and that we needed to get an agent and all that mess, but then my phone rang yesterday. It was a girl named Belle that said she was Mr. Gold's assistant and that he had demanded that she get us to LA for his first possible meeting. So she calls and says, 'How soon can you guys be on a plane?' God, Regina, I'm trying not to get overly excited, cause it may not happen, but it just feels like this is it. It's what I've wanted my whole life," she finished with a sigh as she tucked some hair behind her ear.
"That is amazing and exciting. I'm so proud of you all," Regina told her, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. It was true. She was proud of them and excited for them, but the thought of Emma not being around as much hit her like a ton of bricks. The pain she felt, just at the thought was enough for tears to fill her eyes. She wasn't sure what that meant. Emma's concerned eyes met her own and she added, "Don't worry. These are happy tears."
Henry came running up as Regina was wiping the tears away from her cheek. "It's really cold. I think I'm done," he told them. "And I'm hungry."
"You're always hungry," Regina poked his stomach.
"I'm a growing boy," he asserted, although a slight blush crept onto his face.
"We'll go grab some food. Can I just snap a pic of you and your mom? I'm not sure how long I'll be gone and I want a really good one."
"Fiiiiine," Henry over-dramatized, pulling his mother by the arm to make her stand.
The shot turned out beautifully. They were both wearing black coats, and Regina had her arms wrapped around her son from behind, while he held onto her hands. Henry's red shirt was just slightly visible above his coat and his red and grey scarf hung loosely around his neck. Emma caught the sun shining through a tree, just behind them. Henry had been smiling the whole time, but Regina didn't smile until just after the picture was taken, so she looked like the more serious version of herself, but the winter breeze had caught her hair at just the right moment so it was swaying off to her left. Emma didn't think she had ever seen anything as beautiful as that moment. They parted ways with Regina as they went to the diner as she left to have her Valentine's Day dinner with Robin.
As they sat down, Emma immediately changed her contact photo for Regina from the one from Christmas to the new one of her and Henry. They ordered their food and the boy stared at Emma in silence, which almost never happened.
"What's up kid?" she asked.
"Just thinking."
"Well that's specific," she joked. "Care to share?"
"I don't like my mom being with Robin," he blurted out.
Emma was taken aback. "What? Why?" she questioned, immediately assuming something was wrong with the guy.
"I don't know," he sighed, not meeting her eyes. "You're gonna think I'm just being a dumb kid when I tell you."
"Henry, I'm never gonna think that. You're my favorite kid. Now, what's bugging you?"
"I don't want to share my mom," he rushed out and then wasn't able to stop himself from talking. "It seems like her and Robin are getting really serious. I mean, he got her that nice necklace for Christmas and he's been at the house at least two nights a week for dinner. He told me he got her a rock for tonight. I know that means he got her a ring. I know he has a little kid, and I just don't want to share my mom or be a big brother and I especially don't want a new dad." By the time he finished he was almost shouting to her.
A new wave of sorrow washed over the blonde at his words, but she forced it down and focused on Henry. "Hey. Kid, listen to me. Look at me so I know you hear me," he met her eyes before she continued. "No one is replacing you. You are your mom's whole world Henry. She couldn't and wouldn't ever replace you. And Robin can never take your dad's place. Daniel is your father, and he always will be. If your mom ever does get married again, you do not ever have to call anyone else dad. That is your choice. Okay?"
He nodded. "Okay."
That night Emma lay awake, staring at the ceiling. She felt the pressure crushing her from all sides, and knew she'd have to let it out. She screamed into her pillow as the tears started to flow. She was glad to be alone. She hated to be weak, but sometimes crying is good and she needed the release.
Emma searched for her face in the crowd. She couldn't find her. She was getting frantic, panic setting in. She scanned the faces again. Hers was missing. Where was she? Why wasn't she here? She can't lose her. She can't. Hope started to fade. She searched again. The panic got worse. She was hyperventilating. Her chest constricted. She could see spots. Her heart was racing. She couldn't breathe. Ring ring. Her eyes jerked open as she woke from the nightmare drenched and out of breath.