Further Exposure

Christian's POV

"I don't want you to leave me tonight," I tell Ana softly. I want to worship her again with my body. I am desperate to feel our combined love and passion. She is so unsure of her feelings, but I know how to reignite them. I want to wrap myself around her, and let us sleep peacefully together. What I wouldn't do to sleep again without having nightmares.

"Neither do I!" Ana says. My heart skips a beat, never have I heard such beautiful words, not since the time that Ana told me she would marry me. I twirl her hair around my hand so I can tilt her head. I have unobstructed access to her mouth. I am have been desperately trying to kiss her since this morning. No more interruptions are possible. Nothing that can stop us.

However, suddenly I feel the warmth from Ana's hand leave my shoulder. My heart beats rapidly as I watch her hand. It's going to go towards my chest. Panic hits me. What if I flinch after being touched? Ana will run, and I won't ever be able to get her back. I need time! I quickly move my hand to meet hers, trying to make this a tender gesture, though we both know that I am stopping her. As much as I want Ana, I can't predict how I would react. I don't want Ana to see my reaction just in case it isn't what she wants to see. Not yet, but in time. Ana looks upset and disheartened. Her eyes start to water.

"I have to go" Ana tells me, trying to rush off. But alas, she fails due to the fact that I still have her hand in a tight grip. Ana is already sobbing.

"No, Ana, I am NOT allowing you to leave." I tell her. I have let her run too often. She looks dreadful, but I can't let her leave.

"Let go of me." Ana pleads.

"No," I shake my head. "I won't let you. I can't."

"But, you won't let me touch you. You asked me to trust you today by wearing the blindfold, but you won't trust me to touch you." Ana analyses miserably. I run my hand through my hair with my free hand.

"You hurt me so much when you left. You are the reason why I don't want to be touched!" I accuse and convict her at the same time. Ana looks broken. Guilt fills me, but it is quickly overtaken by my selfish need to be with her.

"Let. Me. Go. Now." Ana emphasises each word, but I fail to release her. "Christian, please." Ana implores. Her blue eyes have lost their sparkle, and she looks completely and utterly broken. I hesitate, but I know that the night is now over. I let go of her, slowly. She walks to the door and is intercepted by Sawyer.

"Sawyer, take Mrs Grey back to my brother's house." I request emotionless.

"Good night Christian." Ana says softly. I am somewhat relieved knowing that she will at least talk to me.

"I will see you tomorrow, Anastasia." She nods apprehensively.

"Ana" I call out just before she leaves the room with Sawyer. She turns to face me. "I will fight for you forever. You are mine, and I am yours." I turn around leaving the ballroom from the back door. I fist my palm and hit it against the corridor wall. I failed to make Ana happy, even for one day. I failed Ted, once more.

Ana's POV:

Arriving back at Elliot's and Kate's house, I try to recompose myself. My eyes are a little red, but at least they are not swollen. I don't want Ted to know that I have been crying. It will just spoil what little headway he has made with his father, plus I know that this evening's failure is my fault. It is because of me that Christian can't stand to be touched anymore. Maybe I shouldn't have run, but it hurt so much knowing that he didn't trust me to touch him anymore.

Upon entering the house, Ted is there waiting for me. He looks like a little kid excited and apprehensive all at once.

"Mom, finally you're home. You didn't answer my text messages. How was it? What did you do? Wow, that dress looks gorgeous on you" Ted says all too fast. Text message? Shit! I left my bag in the hotel room. It has my cell phone, purse, everything!

"I forgot my cell phone with your father. I need to contact him to return it tomorrow." I tell him.

"I will do that for you Mom" Ted says efficiently, whipping out his cell phone. I didn't even know he had his dad's cell phone number. Ted's phone beeps shortly. "Dad said he has your bag and Taylor is going to bring it to you. So now that is dealt with, answer my questions. How was the date?"

"Date? Is that what you set up? You set me up with your father on a date?" I said angrily to my son.

"No… Yes… No" Ted runs his hand though his hair frustrated. I giggle, seeing him perform another Christian-Greyism.

"Sit!" I demand. "Ted, what was today all about?" I scold a little.

"Mom, you know what today was all about!" Ted replies. I shake my head annoyed, though thankful for my sons concern for me.

"Ted, I love you and I know you love me, and you feel the need to ensure that I am contented, nevertheless I am the parent here, and you are the child. I will be fine when you leave for college. I have my friends and work, plus I get to be the proudest mother in the entire world every day." I try to reassure him.

"Aren't you ever lonely?" He asks. I take his hand as I sit next to him.

"Ted. I am happy. Nonetheless, there is something I want us to do, and we can't let anyone know, with the exception of Kate, Elliot and probably Ava." I can't keep this from them, unfortunately. I tell Ted what I am planning and reluctantly he agrees, leaving my room to make his own preparations.

It only takes Kate, the investigator, thirty minutes to discover my plan. "Steele! What on earth are you thinking?" She scolds me like a child. I try to act innocent.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Why did I ever think this would work?

"Don't give me that crap. Ted just told Ava, and she ran downstairs to tell me and Elliot. You have to stop this. Wake up to yourself!" She scolds.

"Kate I can't, it is all done. Please just let me do as I have planned." I tell her. She pouts a little and sits on the bed with me. After a few minutes of silence, she sighs.

"Elliot and I are going to stay home tomorrow, to meet Carrick and Grace with you all tomorrow. We spoke about it today." I look at my long time best friend curiously. "We know that you are going to tell them and Ted about what happened after his birth and when you left for New York. We were involved also, so we ought to be there to cop some of the flack. Plus I think you could use some support." I wrap my arms around Kate, so thankful to have her in my life.

At midnight, I finally go to bed. I slip into the right hand side of the bed. I am yet to be able to sleep on the left hand side; it was always Christian's side. I came so close to sleeping with him tonight. I retrieve my cell phone, now that I have been reunited with my bag. I consider texting Christian, I could state that I want to make sure he is well after leaving him tonight, but I can't work out which words to use. 'Good one Ana, you get a GPA of 4.0 in your English Literature major at College, successfully work in publishing and you can't even string a sentence together.'

I am about to launch my cell phone against the wall when it beeps. I slowly look at it, hoping against hope it will be Christian.

*I promise to fight for you and Ted forever. I will never let you go again. CG*

I gaze at the text message until I finally fall asleep. I am even more unsure of how I feel now or what is the right thing to do.

Ted's POV

"You're packing already? You still have time before you leave." Ava accuses me after coming into my room unannounced.

"Good morning Ava. You look casual today or did you forget that it is Friday and schools are still open for another few months?" I mock, but I am curious to what she is up to. It is almost 8am, and she needs to leave soon.

"Well my dear newly-acquired cousin that is where you come in. I am not going to school today, and I am going to stay here, and listen to everything" she tells me candidly.

"Want front row seats to learn why my parents kept me a secret and my father has avoided me for the past twelve years?" I tell her angry, and she looks upset. Good one Ted! The first thing you do to Ava, once she discovers you are related is upset her!

"Sorry. How do I come into, your plans to skip school today?" I say apologetically.

"Yesterday evening, after you went to bed. I told my parents that you were finding everything too hard to handle and needed some support. Just so you know, last night you asked me if I could stay with you today and get some cousin to cousin support. My parents of course love you dearly and agreed." Ava looks quite pleased with herself.

"Wow, I never realised you were so manipulative. No wonder you are close to my father." I tell her. Ava grabs one of the pillows on the bed and throws it at me. Luckily I dodge it.

"To be honest, I want to hear why I didn't know I had a cousin. I have known you my entire life and have had a serious crush on you. I can't believe I tried to kiss you. At least it wouldn't have been my first kiss" Ava says embarrassed then humorously. We laugh together. I am so glad that there is no tension between us.

"Ted, your parents and grandparents are waiting downstairs for you." My Uncle Elliot calls out from outside my room.

"We will be out in a second." I call out.

"Are you ready big cousin" Ava asks.

"Yes, but first there is something I want to know."

"Ask away," She says positively.

"What do you think of my father?" Ava is surprised by my question.

"Uncle Christian?" I nod. "Well he is controlling and super worried about everyone's safety, but he is exceedingly generous. He has spoilt me constantly. I also think that he has missed you a lot. I couldn't ever put my finger on it, but I always thought there has been a sadness about him. I realise now that it was you. He has missed you Ted and your mother. He loves you both so much." Ava says earnestly. I scrunch up my lips.

"Ted, Ava, are you two coming downstairs or should we all come upstairs." Aunt Kate bellows.

"We are coming. Relax Mom" Ava calls back with attitude.

"We better go before my mom comes up and drags us out." Ava says annoyed.

Everyone makes themselves comfortable on the large U shaped lounge in the family room, when we arrive downstairs. All eyes are on us as we sit down together. I notice that my father makes an effort to sit next to my mother, much to my Aunt Kate's aggravation.

"Well this cozy?" My uncle Elliot's says in his usual mocking manner. Kate and my grandparents shoot him a death glare, which quietens him down quickly.

"Since Ana and Ted are leaving for New York early tomorrow morning, we better get started. I want no stone unturned. The family is all here, except Mia, this is the perfect time. " My grandfather takes control. "Christian, Mia needs to be told about Ted and everything that has happened. This task should fall on your shoulders and do it properly!"

"Of course, I will do it properly" My dad say's annoyed at my grandfather then focuses on me. "Ted, your Aunt is going to want to meet you. I will make the appropriate arrangements and advise you of them once they are complete."

"That's fine. I am more than happy to meet her. I want to know all my family. This why I convinced my mother to come out here this week." I reinforce. "I can't wait to meet her" My grandparents seem rather pleased by this comment.

"One look at you and she is going to think she has travelled back in time and looking at a teenage Christian." Elliot jokes genuinely. This actually brakes the awkwardness and everyone relaxes slightly. Everyone except my mother, she looks sad. My father too notices my mother's extra tense disposition and is evaluating her closely.

Christian's POV

"What is wrong? You've gotten even tenser every time someone has mentioned Mia" I whisper into my ear.

"I am sorry. I never told you." She whispers back to me. My eyes narrow as I look at her. I am so sick of Ana withholding information from me and only for me to learn everything this week, years after it happened. First the phone call from Carla, and now something to do with Mia. If I ever get the chance, I am going to put her over my knee and make her sweet backside a beautiful dark rosy color, for all these secrets!

"So Ana and Christian, we left off on Wednesday, when Ted was born. What happened after this and why wasn't the family told?" My mother asks annoyed.

17 Years Ago

"Andrea, these are the wrong reports. I wanted the updated spreadsheets from our telecommunications sector, not these!" I criticize her. She has had to face the brunt of my anger every day for months.

"Mr Grey, you asked for these reports." She says aggravating me. Everything infuriates me these days. I am so stiff. Regardless of how many sessions I have with Claude and Flynn, nothing has helped me relieve the tension for the past two weeks.

"Andrea, just go and get me the reports I asked for and do it now. Also, get me a decent coffee, the last cup was crap!" I tell her. I notice from the corner of my eye that Elliot's approaching. What the fuck does he want?

"Wow, you really are smooth with the ladies!" Elliot taunts.

"I am quite busy here Elliot. Is there a value to your impromptu visit?" I say annoyed at his attempts to irate me.

"Yes and it has to do with a 22 inch and 6 pounds, piece of you," he says telling me off. I turn away from him to enter my office and hide my smile. I finally know something else about my child. Elliot follows and makes himself comfortable. He sits and watches me like a hawk.

"Is there something else?" I ask him.

"Mom and dad don't know about Ted yet. Are you ever going to tell them?" It has hurt not telling my parents, but I haven't been able to tell them, they are going to be so disappointed in me, though they will livid knowing that I also have kept Ted from them.

"I don't know, Ana, and I haven't spoken about it yet. I don't believe she has told her mother either. Now, if that is all, I have a lot of work to do." I tell him, hoping he will just leave.

"You need to go and talk to Ana. She is staying at Kate's old apartment in the Pike Market district. Here, I thought you might like this" Elliot passes me an envelope.

I take it and open it infuriated. But my lousy mood ends when I see the picture of Ted. It is the first picture I have seen of him with his eyes open. Regardless of the fact that he physically seems to be a replica of me, the soft look in his eyes remind me of Ana's. His lips, his perfectly shaped exactly like Ana's. I can't see his fingers and hands well in this photo, and I wonder whose hands that he has. No matter what, I certainly hope he has more of Ana's personality than mine.

I didn't go and see Ana at the hospital and left soon after he was born that day that is after I collected myself off the floor. I did venture into the hospital a couple of times to catch a glimpse of him in the nursery, but that is all I was able to manage. He is beautiful!

"How is Ana managing?" I ask concerned.

"Maybe you should go and find out for yourself." Elliot challenges me and starts to walk out.

"Elliot" I call out. He looks over to me. "Thank you for this photo. I appreciate it. Also, thank you to you and Kate for keeping all this private. I know it hurts you to keep this all sequestered from our parents."

"Not a problem bro, I got your back. I have had it ever since you entered my life twenty-one years ago!" Elliot smiles at me and walks out.

I spend the next hour analysing the photo. He may only be two weeks old, but he already has some of my features. Even his eyes have already started to become grey. He looks like me! I desperately want to see him, but I don't know what Ana wants. How do I tell her that I have a room ready for him at our house, but I don't know if I deserve to be his father? That I am worried about hurting him, being a father more preoccupied with work, with controlling everything but most of all my jealously. I finally found one person who loves me for me, and now I have to share her. I don't want to be secondary to my son, but I don't want my son to feel second best either.

I stand outside Ana's apartment door for several minutes, getting the courage to continue. It has now been a month since Ted was born and I have been able to man up and come here. I knock on the door, clutching a Teddy bear in my other hand.

Ana opens the door, at first smiling but then frowns, but I can't necessarily blame her. I have missed her clear blue eyes. I want to get lost in them again.

"Christian. I was wondering how long it would take you to come over" Ana states indifferently. She steps in front of the door closing it partially behind her. The door is only slightly ajar, so I can't see inside. Ana looks exhausted, wearing sweatpants and a loose shirt, but she still looks sexy as hell.

"I bought Teddy a gift" I tell her holding up the white and blue teddy bear. Ana looks impassively at me. "Can I come in?" I plead.

"I guess I better. It has taken you a month to see your son if I don't let you in, who know how long it will be before the next time, maybe three months." Ana says repulsed, though still not opening the door further.

"I have tried…I have …" I try to explain with no avail.

"Forget it Christian. What do you want?" Ana becomes agitated.

"I wanted to see you and Teddy that is all. I want to make sure you are both well. Is he awake?" I ask. Ana finally opens the door and there on the floor, on colorful play gym is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, next to Ana of course. He looks so innocent, in need of protection. My instincts kick in. He will require protection, someone extremely discreet, so Ana doesn't become aware. Even if, no one knows he is my son, I don't want to take chances.

"Can I hold him?" I ask nervously.

Ana bends and scoops him up. She puts him in my arms, and I cuddle him tightly. Worried that I am might drop him.

"He is beautiful, just like his mom". I comment looking to and from my son and estranged-wife.

"He looks like you, not me." Ana points out. I cradle Ted carefully, worried about moving him and upsetting him. I look down and wonder how I am going to be a proper parent. I am alarmed at the thought! Ted starts to stir and cry, I start to rock him, but nothing calms him down.

"What do I do?" I ask apprehensively.

"He is hungry. Pass him over to me". Ana asks as she grabs a thin piece of material.

I watch as she places Ted on a pillow and then the cloth over her shoulder and chest, covering Ted and her. "What are you doing?" I ask confused.

"I am nursing Ted! What do you think I am doing?" She looks at me confused.

"Why have you covered yourself up with the wrap? It isn't as if I haven't seen your breasts a thousand times before. I do know your body better than you!" I state arrogantly.

"Christian, we haven't been together for months. I do not feel comfortable with you looking at me naked, even if it is just partially. My body has changed since I have given birth to Teddy, if you hadn't noticed." She says self-conscious.

"Oh I have noticed" I tell her, running my finger over my bottom lip. Her body was more enticing now than ever. Her breasts were still firm and full but were deliciously bigger. Her body had developed new curves from her small waist to her hips. I have always hated how underweight she was. She is still slim but even more beautiful now. Who would have thought it possible? "You have never looked better," I tell her.

Ana regardless doesn't remove the wrap from her shoulder, I can't watch her feed our son. I feel terribly alone, like an outsider. It dawns on me that I am missing out on participating and watching my son and wife in this most natural and loving acts. I sit quietly, feeling rejected until I can't take anymore, but I don't want to leave. Not before talking to Ana.

"I will make you a cup of tea" I tell Ana. By the time I return to the living room, she has finished feeding Ted and is burping him. His is tied, and he quickly closes his eyes. I follow Ana as she puts Ted down into his crib. She is a natural at all of this. I watch envious of them both as she ensures Ted is warm and kisses his little head.

The tension in the living room increases when it is just Ana and I.

"Thank you for the tea. I don't actually get time to sit and drink one anymore" She says.

"You look tired" I point out. Ana gives me a look of revulsion.

"I have a one month old baby that I am looking after, of course I am tired! Have you tried it?" She hisses. Her words mean to hurt me, and I don't blame her. Of course, she succeeds. "Any way you look rather tense. Haven't you found a submissive to beat and fuck hard?"

"I only wish" I spit back. "We are still married, we aren't even separated legally." I say without thinking. I have thought about getting a sub, but I won't betray Ana, not while we are legally together.

"Ana…" I start to talk, but I stop not knowing what else to say.

"Christian, I need to know what part you intend on playing in Teddy's life" Ana ask bluntly. This is the key thing I, we needed to work out.

"I don't know. I want to provide for him that is for sure. I have already made arrangements for money to be transferred into your account. I want to provide for you both. First of which is to get you both to alternative accommodation." I tell her, Ana holds her hand out to tell me to stop.

"Christian, you can provide all you want for Ted, but not for me. I am going to go back to work once Ted is six months, and we are not moving away from this apartment. It is too convenient for us, plus Kate isn't interested in selling it in this poor housing market so we can stay here for as long as we like." I try to limit my anger at Ana right now, but I can feel myself start to fail.

"Go back to work? What on earth do you mean? You resigned from Grey Publishing the day you left me if you don't recall!" I clarify.

"There is more than one publishing house in Seattle." She points out.

"No chance Ana. I won't have it! I can and will provide for you and Ted, you are both my responsibility." I stand up angrily. This is a deliberate move to gain height on her. A means to further dominate her.

"We are no longer together, you don't get the right to make those decisions for me or even get a mention" Ana walks out of the room, but returns immediately, passing me a manila file.

I open it and find separation papers. When on earth did she get this written up? "I won't sign these. You are my wife." I am repulsed even holding these.

"We haven't been together for nine months. These forms are just a formality." She explains.

"NO!" I yell.

"Then I will take you to court." She responds, faking confidence. I can't help but laugh at her.

"Don't be stupid Ana, my lawyers would crush yours!" I tell her.

"Fine, yes you are right." Ana concedes, but stands to meet me, depriving me of some my dominance due to height, though I do still tower her. She looks more confident than she has ever done before.

"Christian, I am not the same girl that stumbled into your office a year ago. I won't be pushed around, it's time to negotiate. You want me to stay home and care for Ted, then I will do whilst he is so young, under the provision that you sign those separation documents." Ana black mailing me.

"I will never give you a divorce" I advise her. In my voice is hatred and anger. Everything that is good in me everything that Ana set alight dwindles into nothing. I sign the papers and throw them on the ground.

I walk out of the apartment and slam the door behind me. I hear Ana call out my name desperately and start to cry, but I walk away.

I feel nasty chills down my back just thinking about this. Everyone is still after hearing about how Ana and I became legally separated and about this turning point. It then suddenly hits me, what was the real reason Ana wanted to be legally separated.

"Excuse us, I need a word with Ana in private if you don't mind," I say. Grabbing Ana and taking her to the next room, before anyone can object.

"Christian what are you doing?" She asks to try to pull away from me, but I won't let go of her or loosen my grip. Rather I have her to the wall now, with both my hands on her arms.

"After I left your apartment after I signed the separation forms you called out for me, you cried. Why?" I ask only realising this now years later. I had not thought of this until now, it hurt too much.

"It was time," She said.

"NO, no it wasn't. It was something else. It wasn't just because I was attempting to control. What. Was. It?" I argue, demanding to know. Ana looks down, and fights to keep tears at bay but fails.

"Tell me Ana. I need to know." I say softly, releasing her

"Christian, you know why….. " Ana takes a step closer to me and buries her face in my chest.

Authors Note:

I am sorry that Ana and Christian's date ended badly. I know that so many of you wanted it to all go well, but they have been apart for so long, it will take time for CG and AG to find each other again if that is what should happen.

Thank you for all your fantastic reviews, follow, favorites, and PM's. They are very much appreciated and loved. I love them all! I even wrote a slightly longer chapter to say thank you! I hope it was juicy for you all.

Please keep letting me know what you think! Review away.

Also, a lot of you all have been telling me not to stop writing this story. Do not worry, I won't. I intend on finishing this story, maybe even do a sequel, but that depends on interest and where I can take this story.

Again let us all give Crystal9034 a round of applause for her assistance in editing!

Regards,

Maria Amore