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Chapter Twenty Seven.

Avoidance.

Ana.

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Sitting in the back of a cab heading for Kates, I ease into the seat and use the short journey to allow my mind to wander. Sharing my past with Taylor, has left me in a bit of a tail spin. I thought after confiding in him that I'd hear from him within hours. I thought he'd call me with news, an appointment, a dinner invitation. I even half expected a restraining order. I hoped to hear something, anything, but no, nothing. I haven't heard a peep from him and it's caused my apprehension and paranoia to grow.

I soon realised, that spending time at Grey House last Friday, would've frustrated and depressed the hell out of me. Especially with Taylor knowing about me and his apparent silence. I took that as my cue and since then, I've avoided all things Grey.

After admitting my stalker tendencies to Taylor, I decided not to spend the weekend at the beach. I had a feeling that I'd be watching Christian, as Taylor, or another suit just like him, would be watching me. Truthfully though, I just didn't want to witness Leila and Christian spending time together. I know I didn't see them together the weekend before, but last weekend felt different, and I knew I'd made the right decision to leave once I spotted Christian.

I passed Christian as I was leaving my annex on Friday lunch time. I thought I'd leave before he arrived for the weekend, but he was early. I only saw him for a few seconds as he climbed out of his car and I climbed into mine, but he appeared happy and relaxed. He looked elated. He was clearly looking forward to this time with Leila, and I didn't want to interfere with that. His weekends do belong to her after all, and who knows how many she has left.

I needed to distance myself from everything. I felt like I was slowly being consumed by it all and just needed to take stock and clear my head. So, I drove home and spent a few days with Aunt Meg. I arrived home to find her dining with Ben. By all accounts, they've been seeing a lot of each other in the few weeks that I've been away, and I couldn't be happier for the pair of them. I always thought they'd be well suited to each other and spending time with them, proves I was right. They seemed so happy and comfortable around each other, and I hope for the pair of them that it develops into something more and long lasting. They both deserve it.

As well as talking to Kate, I also heard from Will, while I was at home. He's extended his daughters invitation to The Grey Charity Gala to me. She's abroad and unable to return home in time for the event, which is great news for me. I'm looking forward to it, and not just because it's an ideal opportunity to get close to Christian, but because I've never been to such a lavish event before. I have to dress up and everything. Kate, has offered to help me get ready for the evening and I dread to think what she will deem suitable. Will, also assures me that worse case scenario and Christian doesn't show up that night, Will, has an appointment scheduled with him for the week after.

I stayed with Aunt Meg, until Tuesday morning. I fought the pull to return to Seattle as long as I could, but ultimately gave in. Driving back to Seattle, I was determined to steer clear of Grey House for a few days and give Taylor his opportunity to help me. I drove past the imposing building as I returned to the beach and felt like the entire building was watching me. Each day the urge to swing into the bookstore or grab a quick coffee, was becoming harder to resist, so as a distraction for myself, I took in the sights and sounds of Seattle instead.

It's an amazing city and with Will and Kates recommendations, I've had a wonderful few days. The only down side to all my sight seeing, was my Aunt Meg's threat to disown me if I didn't stop sending her touristy crap. Her words, not mine. Personally, I don't think you can ever have too many fridge magnets, but she doesn't agree.

Mid-week I gave in and tried to call Taylor. All I got, for the hour it took me to gather the courage to dial the number on his card, was his abrupt and impersonal voice mail. I didn't leave a message.

I wonder if he's actually spoke to Christian about what I shared with him. I can't think of a reason why he wouldn't. I also find myself fretting over what Christian's reaction was if he did. Taylors silence, doesn't fill me with hope or ease, but then again, Taylor's probably finding it hard to bring the topic up. He can't actually bounce into Christian's office with wave and a, "Hey, remember that girl you thought you killed when you were a kid..." No, thinking about it, I can understand how he'd have to pick his moment. But does it have to take so long?

Worryingly, there's also been no sign of Gail. I rang her like she asked me to over the weekend, once I was settled at home. She never answered my call but I did leave her a message, which she hasn't returned. There was also no sign of her at the grocery store today, and I don't know what that means. I popped into the store around the same time as last week, and even sat in the lot for a while looking out for her, but she never showed. Has Taylor spoken to Gail? Barred her from talking to me? Probably, they are married after all, and Taylor doesn't know me well enough to trust me on my word alone with his wife.

It's so frustrating and makes me want to scream, this not knowing what Taylor's doing to help me, or if he even will. I gave Taylor a change to talk to Christian and he hasn't, for whatever reason. I don't want to consider that he has and that Christian doesn't want to know me, but that would just be my luck. Either way, I gave Taylor an ultimatum, I gave him a week to do something, or I would take matters into my own hands. His time, is nearly up.

He has until tomorrow evening, then it's time for Plan B.

Leila, is coming into play.

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As I step from the cab outside of her and Kate's apartment, I try to put on my game face. Kate, has invited me to stay over at their place to initiate stage one of her crazy, yet very tempting plan. I'm trying hard to convince myself that what I'm about to do isn't selfish, insane, or even down right cruel. If it was any other couple, any other pairing of two people in a relationship, I wouldn't even be considering this. But this, is Christian and Leila.

It's going to be strange, and hopefully not too awkward, spending time with Leila again. I know a bit more about her and her relationship with Christian now, and tonight, I have to pretend that it doesn't frustrate me because she gets to spend time with him. Even if it's not a conventional relationship, she still gets to enjoy his company. In a fashion, anyway. She still gets to sleep in his house, eat with him and share the weekend with him. Even if it's not in his bed, and their time is not shared like a regular couple, she's still with him.

I picture suddenly what she's shared with us and no matter what restrictions there are between them, she still gets to kiss him while he touches her. She has no sight and can't make a sound while he touches her, but she can feel him. She can feel him over her, on her, in her. Oh, Leila's right, it is kind of erotic when you think about it. If not frustrating as hell after a time. After seeing Christian up close and knowing his physique. It must be frustrating, awfully frustrating, not being able to touch him. To not be able to run your fingers through his wild hair, or trail your nails down his wash board abs. Oh, I don't know if I'd have the willpower Leila has had to find.

Kate asked me once if I was attracted to him. I said no at the time because I didn't, but now, I'm not too sure. I know he's very good looking and I love him for the saving of my life, but could it go deeper? I think without my being aware of it, it has. I will admit that I've missed seeing him over the past week, even if it is, just in passing.

I don't know exactly what I miss though. I don't know Christian. I feel like I do, but that's just because I know his life, his routine and the people around him. I don't know the man he's grown to be. Nobody seems too.

Apart from the brief help he offered me when I fell, and when I met him with Tess, I haven't conversed with him. I certainly don't know him. He didn't even introduce himself to me, but my tongue tied tongue didn't help with that either. So it's not all on him.

When he was abrupt with me in the coffee shop and kicked me out of his building before my interview, I'll admit that that did hurt. To know first hand that he could push me away so easily and not understand why, can be painful when I'm on my own.

You'd think he'd be glad to see the girl he thought he'd killed and want to know I was alright, but no, he runs and...Oh God, he...

My phone buzzes from my jacket pocket startling me, but thankfully, it puts a stop to my mental self-berating and rising doubts. Answering my phone, Kate screams in my ear, telling me to get my butt upstairs as Leila is on her way home with Chinese, and the need to escape for a bit. She's a little apprehensive about this coming weekend and needs girl time. I can't say I blame her. She must feel awful, knowing that her relationship will soon be over. It could be her last weekend. That just makes me feel worse about this evening.

I found out through Kate, that Christian cancelled on Leila at the last minute last weekend. To say I was shocked was an understatement, especially with the smile I'd seen on his face. I never thought he'd do that, and even now, nearly a week later, I could still kick myself. I deliberately went home to keep out of his way, when I could've been at the beach with him and Tess, alone. All weekend.

Sadly, it didn't happen and we now need to but Plan B, into operation.

Utilizing tonight, I have to prove to myself that what we're planning on doing, will not hurt Leila in anyway. Never mind justify it to myself. We also, subtly, need to prize all the information that we need out of her. I'm hoping that Kate, will do most of the talking.

Heading up to her apartment, Kate, meets me halfway down the hallway. Urging me on excitedly, she assures me that this is our one and only chance of doing this. It's all systems go for this weekend. We have to do this now if I want to meet him.

Leila knows that it's over. Christian has asked her to come over tomorrow evening as normal, but forewarned her that she'll not be staying the weekend.

It's now or never, if I want to meet him. If I want to be alone with him. I have to do this.

I need to get close to Christian. I need to confront him. I need to have his full attention and give him no place to run to. Kate, in all her wisdom, has convinced me that this is the only way to accomplish all of that. It's a golden opportunity that can't be passed up. She has quoted many times since coming up with this scheme.

I just hope to God that she's right, because I really don't fancy being arrested.
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