Early Onset of Sibling Rivalry
Ted's POV:
"How do I feel?" I ask, put off by these very words. "How did you think I am feeling?" I throw my hands in the air, bewildered at my parents. How do I answer a question that I don't know the answer? Never did I ever consider that my parents would ever have any more children. Shit, they didn't even talk to each other six weeks ago.
"Seriously Mom and Dad, how old are you both?" I scold them. My mother is immediately shocked at my tone and question, though it is my dad's rather forbidding expression that gets my attention.
"We are both healthy enough to raise this child if that is your issue." Dad responds irritated. That is certainly not what I mean, but alas that is another matter.
"Issue? I don't have issues, you both do. Aren't I supposed to be the one doing stupid things? Who is the teenager here? Aren't you both wise enough to use protection? Surely you both know the after effects of not being prepared." I start to rant.
"Theodore Raymond, stop right now. You are being extremely disrespectful. Your father and I are both responsible people." My mother disciplines.
It then hits me. "Was this pregnancy planned? Did you both plan on having another child?" I ask. For obvious reasons, I am somewhat concerned about the answer to this question. If it was planned, then they obviously wanted another child. Or if it wasn't and they seem happy about this child, then still, they both want it. So many thoughts go through my mind that I cannot think straight.
"Ted, this baby wasn't really planned. But we're pleased and will welcome this child into our lives. I would have thought you would be happy about this child and us being back together." My father says in a rather matter of fact tone. I desperately try to hide my pain, to bury it deeply. My anxiety levels are rising.
"So you are both going to raise this child together, living like a normal family?" I inquire.
"Yes." My father says. He gets up and walks closer to me. My parents finally are starting to piece together my concerns, my fears and pain. "But Ted, please don't think…"
"STOP!" I shout loudly. "I do not want to hear anymore. I have to process everything" I blurt out. I refuse to look at my mother as I know I probably have hurt her. I swiftly walk out of the study, with full knowledge that my parents are both probably going to follow. In the main room, my grandparents and Ava are sitting on the couch and casually talking. It is obvious that Ava is close to our grandparents and why shouldn't they be. They have been part of her life from the first minute. My unborn sibling will also be given this opportunity. One I wasn't afforded.
"Ava, it is time for me to show you New York. Let's go." It is almost an order as I hold my hand out for her and help her up.
"Now?" She asks confused. Both my grandparents look at each other baffled.
"Yes. Now. Are you ready?" I comment.
"I guess." Ava says uncertain and staggers to her feet.
"Can't you both go out tomorrow? Ava has only just gotten off a five hour flight" My grandmother comments.
"I agree. Ava and Ted you can both go out tomorrow. We all need to have dinner together. I will have O'Connor go out and collect some dinner" My father says. He is composed and methodical even after our little family meeting. I hate that he can do that, but I can't.
"I am not hungry. Are you coming Ava or are you going to stay here?" Ava looks at me unsure what to do. I hate that I have put her between a rock and a hard place, but I can't think straight right now. I need to get out of this apartment.
"Ted, you are not going anywhere. You don't have our permission." Dad reprimands.
"Nor do you Ava. You are not to leave this apartment." Our Grandfather states following suit.
"You gave me permission earlier, Dad. You said I was able to take Ava as long as security came with us. O'Connor can you come and stalk us. Happy Dad? Just like old times. Hey, remember when you had security feed you back information, so you can know every move I made without having to be part of my life?" I hiss, reminding Dad of how absent he has been in my life. I know he understands the point I am trying to make, but my father doesn't break his strong exterior. I know I hit a nerve.
"Ava, let's go." I say and then look at O'Connor. I can literally feel the adrenaline running through my body giving me a strange sense of false confidence. O'Connor shifts his view to my father, waiting for a reply.
"O'Connor, you are not needed this evening. No one is leaving the apartment. You are excused." Dad says. O'Connor walks off, probably relieved to have been given an exit. "Ted you are not going anywhere, at least not until you talk to us rationally, and Ava you too are not to go out. Your parents left you in ours, and your grandparents care. Therefore, you do not have our permission to leave this apartment either." My father cautions us both.
"Please Ted. Just talk to us. We understand why you are hurt and running isn't going to help." My mother tells me.
"But I learnt to run for you Mom" I scoff; however I regret it immediately when I see my mother's face. I have hurt her more than I ever have.
"What on earth is going on?" My grandfather asks, rather agitated. Both my grandparents are glaring at my parents, both confused by the stage show we just offered up.
"Mom and Dad let us explain" My parent's focus is diverted. While they try to keep my grandparents calm and explain the situation, I whisper into Ava's ear.
"Let's go. Please Ava, I need to get out of here for a while. If you don't come with me, then I am just going to by myself" I tell her. She looks at our family and then me. I look at her pleading with her. I really need someone with me.
"Okay, I will come." She whispers. Hurriedly, we walk out of the apartment. I don't close the door as I don't want to cause any unnecessary noise. Everyone else is too preoccupied to notice. It isn't until we are in the elevator and the doors close that we hear our grandmother call out. "Where have Ava and Ted gone?" I think I hear my dad's voice call out after us, but I am not sure.
"We are going to be in so much trouble when we get back. That is if we manage to get out of this building." Ava says gripping my hand. I am aware of her stress. She may push some boundaries at home, but I know she hates to be in trouble.
"We will and don't worry, you won't be in trouble. I will tell them that I forced you to come with me" I reassure her.
"I am not worried." Ava tries to convince me with a small smile. "But you have to tell me what just happened then"
"I will, let's just get out of this building first." I promise her. When the elevator doors open, we both walk out. We are about to walk out the front door when we hear the door man on the phone. "Yes Mr. Grey. I will stop them immediately."
"Shit, we have to find a different way out. Come with me. We can go through the back door" I guide Ava. I am half amazed that it is open. Just as I start to think we have made it out Scott free, there on the other side of the door is Taylor. Fuck!
"Going somewhere you two?" He asks, raising his eyebrows at us.
"We were. But not now" I reply distastefully.
"Not now? Doesn't look like that is still your intention. Come, I will take you both to be ever you want to go." Taylor says still unreadable. Ava and I look at each other, shocked but follow. We get into the SUV and remain quiet as Taylor drives out onto the busy New York streets.
"Taylor does my father know what you are doing?" I ask.
"No, would you like to contact your father?" He offers. His maintains his familiar stern look on his face.
"Uh no" I comment.
"I thought so," He says trying to stifle a laugh at my expense.
"Taylor, will you get into trouble or fired for helping us leave the building?" I am honestly concerned for his employment position.
"Do not concern yourself with my welfare. Have you both decided where you both want to go?" Taylor asks. I can't read or even predict what he is thinking.
"Taylor can you take us to 217 East 51st. There is a park called Green Acre Park. We want to go there" I tell him. He nods and types in the address into the GPS. Perfect!
Ava and I sit at the closest free table near the waterfall at the park. Taylor has parked the car and is close by. He isn't taking his eyes off us, but he won't be able to hear us. This is why I wanted to come to this park, the water fall will create enough white noise that whatever we say, and we won't be heard.
"You owe me some answers, Ted." Ava points out.
"I know." I say looking down. "I behaved badly back at the apartment. I hurt my mother."
"And your father" she adds bitterly.
"But I still feel more remorse that I hurt my mother. Even though dad and I are a lot closer these days, I feel so angry now. I feel cheated." Yes, that is exactly how I feel, cheated.
"Why do you feel cheated?" Ava asks confused.
"My mother is pregnant," I tell her.
"By your dad?" She asks. I cock my head to the side at her question before I realize she has asked it more in shock of the situation than the thought my mother was with someone else.
"Of course to my dad." I comment.
"WOW! Go Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana. How would have thought?" She laughs softly.
"I can't believe you are laughing. Here is am feeling horrible and you are laughing" I tell her. Ava's laughter comes to an abrupt halt. She looks miserable. Great another person I have upset today.
"Okay, I am sorry Ted, explain to me why you feeling cheated" She says sympathetically. Her question actually surprises me. Isn't it obvious?
"My parents are going to have a baby and raise it while living together under the same roof. My mother isn't going to raise the children solely predominately, with my father occasionally visiting and throwing money at the child. My dad isn't just going to paying for elite schools, piano lessons, toys, computers and everything else he thinks that the child needs or would ever want." I say trying not cry.
"Like you" Ava summarizes.
"Yes. Like me." I say sighing. I run my fingers along the side of the table, trying to distract myself. I fail.
"Your parents love you. They made a lot of mistakes, but they still love you." Ava adds.
"I know that, but still. I remember you told me in Seattle how my father had been extremely generous with you and I knew that he had spent time with you. I was so jealous, now I am even more jealous. My parents are happy about this baby. Why couldn't they have been happy about me? Why does this child get what I wasn't even given? Didn't I deserve the same thing?" I plead. I fight my tears, whilst Ava looks at me sympathetically.
"You need to talk to your parents. Tell them how you feel." She informs me. I scoff at the thought.
"Why? We can't turn back time. Also, that would mean that I would be telling them how every night I prayed that they would be together, and we could live like a normal family until I reached the age of five. Then after mom and I moved to New York, I just wanted my father to give me the time of day." I confess.
"Okay Ted, yes you got screwed, and I am more than willing to participate in your pity party, but your parents have explained to you everything that happened. It was their mistakes, and you got in the middle. However, they still loved you and provided everything for you. Also be honest, do you want them to make the same mistake again with this baby? Do you?" Ava asks.
"That is the internal conflict I am feeling. I am jealous that this baby will get what I didn't and so wanted, but I feel the need to ensure that my sibling gets to have both our parents, to have it all. Shit I don't know what I am thinking. I feel stupid actually. I am experiencing premature jealousy of my unborn sibling." I place my head in my hands, wanting to hide from the world.
"Yeah you are pretty stupid, Ted. I think you should give up your college placements and come back to Seattle. I am sure my dad can offer you a job as his gofer or something" Ava laughs breaking the tension. I can't help but laugh also.
"I am hungry. How about you?" I ask. Man my stomach is rumbling.
"Yeah. I am" Ava says almost relieved that I asked.
"Good, there is a burger place across the road that I often go to with some of my mates."
"Wonderful but what about Taylor? Shouldn't we get back to your dad's apartment, so he isn't in any more trouble?" Ava queries. I hold my hand out to help her up. Not realizing the ground near her is wet, Ava stands up too quickly and starts to slide.
"Ted" Ava screams. Instinctively, I throw my arms around her, preventing her from falling on the rock ground. Holding each other close, she looks up at me. Mixed feelings run through us both.
"I can't kiss you" I blurt out.
"I know. We are cousins from adopted parents." She says rolling her eyes.
"It just isn't right for us to, you know." I add.
"Sure wish I knew we were cousins earlier. Might have made this all easier. I love you Ted" Ava declares.
"I know," I tell her. Damn all those secrets.
"Come, I am hungry, cousin" I tell her. She shakes her head at me, but willingly follows up the path to where Taylor has been watching us for the past hour. I nod to him as we reach the top of the path.
"Taylor, Ava and I are going across the street for some dinner" I inform him politely.
"I am sorry, but that isn't possible tonight." He says. His expression doesn't change. Fuck, it is impossible to read this man.
"Excuse me?" I ask to seek clarification. I can't hide my agitation. Taylor gestures to the SUV. I look over and there he is. Dad, and with my grandfather.
"Shit," I say quietly, so my father or grandmother won't hear me. They both approach us and are both wearing the same unreadable expression that Taylor so often has. Maybe it is a side effect of spending too much time with my father.
"Taylor, Thank you" My father says. There is a strong tension amongst us all. Taylor must have contacted my Dad.
"Come on Ava, I will take you home with O'Connor. We need to talk." Our grandfather informs her. I want to object, but the look on Ava's face tells me not to. I mouth the word 'sorry' to her and she gives me a slight smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. O'Connor, my Grandfather and Ava head for the black Audi Sedan, leaving my father and me alone. With the exception of Taylor.
There is an uncomfortable silence between my father and me. He is looking at me, with the hope of making eye contact, but I am not willing to participate. From the corner of my eye, I watch my father pace around uncomfortably and run his hands through his hair.
"Have you eaten?" Dad asks to throw me off.
"No, I have been trying to come to grips with the notion of my parents in their forties having another child." I rebuff but don't tell him, the true nature of my feelings.
"Let's go and have some dinner. You need to eat, and so do I." Dad says, unaffected by my comment. Dad starts to move off, but I don't cooperate. Stubbornness takes over me. Dad stops and spins to face me. "Ted you standing there refusing to move isn't going to help anything. Trust me when I say that I can be as stubborn as you!"
"Where is Mom? How is she?" I question. I still feel horrible about what I said to her. I need to know how she is.
"Your mother is upset. She is back home, where you should have been this entire evening" My father reprimands me. I feel like a child.
"Then I want to go back home." I tell him and make tracks for the SUV. Dad is looking at me confused. I slump my shoulders and turn towards him. "I promise I will talk to you and Mom, just let's get home first"
The car ride home is tense and so silent that it is deafening, that is until I notice Dad on his blackberry sending a text message.
"Are you texting mom?" I inquire.
"Yes. She has been worried about you, even though" Dad doesn't elaborate.
"Even though, what?" I ask, but Dad doesn't answer. I groan, and still Dad doesn't explain further. Arriving back at the apartment, there is no sign of Ava or my grandfather. It is still early, it's only 8pm. My mother is waiting in the main room, with my grandmother. Her eyes give away the fact that she has been crying. Really crying.
"Ted, don't you ever do that again." She is downright furious. In fact, she has never been so mad at me. I am mad too, but I can't hurt her again.
"I am sorry that I left while you were preoccupied" I tell her. Mom wraps her arms around me, and I reciprocate.
"Where is Ava?" I ask concerned. She hasn't been sent home, has she?
"She is in her room. Ava is grounded for the weekend by your grandfather." Mom informs me.
"It's not fair. I convinced her to come with me." I plead looking to my grandmother.
"Which is why you are grounded of a month." My father surmises.
"Either way Ava shouldn't be grounded. I begged her to come with me. She didn't want to go." I continue to beseech them.
"Leave it Ted. Ava chose to be grounded rather than her parents find out about her behavior this evening. Regardless of you being the instigator of tonight's escapade, she made the final decision to walk out of this apartment without permission" My Mother states. I throw my hands up in the air, relenting.
"So now that issue is over with, let's continue where left off. We were examining your issues I believe." My father states.
"Do you really want to know what my issue is?" I enquire.
"Yes, and before you say it Ted, I understand and acknowledge that you have a right to be mad. Your mother and I should have given you the family you deserved from the second you were conceived. I know that everything must have hit you hard when we told you about the baby." My father declares. Both my parents look guilty.
"Yes that is an issue, but my biggest issue is that I now know I was never enough. That I wasn't sufficient reason for you both to put all those circumstances and external factors aside. Whilst it is admirable that you are both willing to reflect on the past eighteen years, to right your wrongs with this baby, when it comes down to it, the fact remains. You both love me, and I both love you both, but I wasn't enough." I acknowledge to them. Mom has tears running down her face, again as does my grandmother. Dad looks shattered.
"I am going to go to bed. I am rather tired" I then declare. I want to make a quick exit so not to fall apart in front of my family. I fail to look at my parents or grandmother as I make a beeline for my room.
I throw off my clothes, except my boxer shorts and put on a shirt. I lay on my bed for hours. The apartment has quiet, and everyone has gone to bed. I try to fall asleep when my phone beeps. It is Ava.
*Are you okay? Did you get into too much trouble? I can't sleep*
I decide not to reply, rather I get up to go and see Ava. She is in the room next to me. Ava smiles relieved to see me, which causes me to smile back. I move towards her and slip into her bed covers. I lay on my side facing her. It has been over a month since I was told the full truth of why my parents broke up and why they stayed away so long, but I the pain is only now hitting me.
"I am angry." I declare.
"About the baby?" Ava asks
"No, the baby has been the stimulus. I think I am truly understanding what I lost" I state.
"So you are okay about the baby?" Ava ponders.
"I guess." I say shrugging my shoulders. "I hate secrets being kept from me"
"Then let's have some of our own secrets then. Let's keep some from our family," Ava says. I look into her eyes, and I know exactly what she is thinking.
Authors Note: Thank you for everyone's continued support of my story. Thanks for following, favoring and the reviews. Keep reviewing and tell me what you think as the story enters its next stage.
Thanks to Crystal9034 for her edits.
Regards,
Maria Amore