Disclaimer: Mary and Marshall belong to David Maples. If they hadn't been misused by others I wouldn't be writing this.

Provoked Too – Chapter 22 - Wondering

Lying in his hospital bed Marshall wonders about lots of things. How am I supposed to sleep with the nurses doing neuro checks every 2 hours? Why would Abigail think I was working for the Boss? Did Mary really say she loved me? How could I have asked her to release me?

Being stuck in the hospital gave him too much time to think. What did Mary mean when she said she feels about him the way she feels about Norah? He had to admit that seeing her with Lucas makes him queasy. Is he jealous? He remembers how angry he had been when he and Abigail first saw them together at the restaurant. Why wasn't he happy that she had found someone? She was happy for him. Wasn't she?

Mary never saw him as a romantic interest. Mary? Romantic? Not happening. But she did go into shock. Yes, but only after he was in the ER. If she really loved him wouldn't she have reacted immediately? But this is Mary. She prides herself on being tough and taking care of her witnesses and her family before herself. Would the same apply to him? Did she wait to break down until he was taken care of?

Too many possibilities whirl around his sore head. Mary is the most frustrating partner, the most exasperating woman he has ever met. Her cynical view of humanity, her disregard for her own safety, her sarcastic balls to the wall personality exhausted him. He had worked hard to understand her. He had hundreds of examples of her reactions and he still couldn't always predict what she would do or say. She frustrated and fascinated him.

And now there was another man attracted to his Mary. He snorts. His Mary? Right. If she ever heard him say that way he'd be black and blue for months. Even being Chief wouldn't protect him if he disrespected her that way.

This man, Lucas, wasn't Mary's choice. He had sought her out, pursued her. Of all the men she had been with, Lucas was the pick of the litter, the cream of the crop. He was decent, brave, and in his own way, wise. Who was he to come between them?

But Lucas couldn't know her any better than Abigail knew him. Almost ten years of partnership had given them insights that couldn't be gained in a few months. Abigail. Despite his desire for a committed relationship, despite how close he had come to marrying her, he didn't feel as sad or distressed, as he thought he should. Were they committed to commitment but not to each other?

Checking the clock he realizes he has time to call his mom.

Mann residence.

"Hi Mom."

Marshall?

No sense in beating around the bush. It's why he called her. "Abigail and I called off the wedding."

Oh Marshall. This sounds like pre-wedding jitters. I'm sure you can work through it.

"No, I don't think so. She thought I was working for the gun runner she'd been investigating."

Oh my god how could she think that? That girl doesn't have her head screwed on straight.

Of course, she's his mother but her confidence in his honesty is genuine. "I know. At least I know now. I thought I knew her. I thought she knew me. Turns out she didn't. We looked like a couple, even acted like it, but we were, are strangers."

If she really knew you she would never accuse you of working with a criminal. That's unbelievable!

Marshall sighs, feeling anew the depth of Abigail's betrayal. "She said she loved me and then she believes some stranger's lies about me?" All he ever wanted was someone to love him as he has loved Mary. Someone to complete him. Someone to have his back.

Well, there's love and then there's LOVE.

"What do you mean?"

You can love someone, even think you are in love with them, but somewhere in the recesses of your being, you know your heart belongs to another. Not everyone finds the love of their life. Many settle for less and are perfectly happy. They don't know any better.

"Did you?"

Did I what?

"Did you find the love of your life?" He thinks he knows but he has to ask.

Your father is the love of my life. I couldn't stand him otherwise.

Marshall smiles. He had often wondered how she could love the abrasive unfeeling man his father appeared to be. "How did you know?"

I just knew. Well, that's not exactly true. I found myself measuring any other man I dated against Seth. None of them measured up. Is there a woman who is your standard?

Marshall didn't have to think. "Yes."

Then she's the one. Whatever you do don't let her get away. Don't be the nice guy, the understanding friend. If she's the one for you, make her see you are the one for her. It may take some persuading, but I have faith in you son.

Did his mother know they were talking about Mary?

Where are you? I didn't recognize the number for this call.

"I'm in the hospital. It's just for observation," he quickly reassures her. "They insisted on keeping me overnight."

What happened?

"A stupid accident with my riot helmet. It bent in such a way that it pushed on my temporal occipital bones. They just want to make sure I'm okay."

Oh dear. I hate to see my boy hurt.

"I'm not a boy anymore Mom."

You'll always be my boy. Let me get off the line so you can get some rest. Take care of yourself.

"I will."

Love you!

"Love you too Mom."

Breakfast, such as it is, is served. More scans then finally, the doctor tells Marshall the hemorrhage has dissipated and as soon as the shunt is removed he can go home. As soon as that happens he calls Mary.

"You ready to blow that pop stand cowboy?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be there before the ink dries on your get out of jail card." This is it, she thinks. The moment she's dreaded and anticipated. She and Marshall will be alone. She needs to talk to him, she should talk to him – providing he's rested and ready. Where should she take him? Her place is under surveillance. Lucas left this morning, going to his place to sleep. Is anywhere safe?

Marshall's dressed, ready and waiting when Mary arrives with Norah. "Sorry. Bug had to come too. Joanna's sick."

"So that's why I get this special treat?" Marshall reaches out to bop Norah on the nose, making her eyes cross.

"Yeah, and baby spit up and poop. It's your lucky day." She still didn't get what the deal is with babies - other people's babies that is.

"Who's taking care of her if Joanna's sick?"

Mary reaches for his bag. "I got that Mare. Leave it."

"Have you got any medication to pick up?" she asks as they walk down the hall. "I've got your badge and your holdout. Forensics has our Glocks."

"No. No meds. You never answered my question. Who's watching Norah today?"

Mary turns to him, frustrated. "I don't know, okay? I thought I'd bring her to work."

"I can watch her," Marshall offers. Outside he's cool, calm. Inside he's jumping up and down anticipating spending time with mini-Mary.

"What?" Mary heard him, but he's not making any sense.

"I can watch her. I'm not cleared for duty yet so I've got time."

"I can't ask my boss to watch my baby," she frowns.

"Why not? I'd love to spend a few hours with Norah-bean, and you didn't ask."

Mary considers for a minute. "There's a meeting of the task force investigating Caldwell. You're the Chief, you need to go."

"But I can't because I'm not cleared for duty. I can't act in an official capacity. You have to go. You know more about it. Besides, Caldwell might think he killed me. It will confuse him and his cohorts. Let me watch her. Norah and I will have a grand time." He chucks Norah under the chin and comes away with a finger full of drool wipeing it on his jeans, unconcerned. "When does she nap?"

"Oh sure. You want to watch her and the first thing you want to know is when she naps?" Mary's not sure this is a good idea, but her options are limited.

"Mare," he explains patiently, "I need to know her schedule. Babies do better if they have a routine. Norah will be happier if I can stick to it, but for that to work, I need to know what it is."

Mary has to admit that it makes sense. Why is she resisting free childcare? She trusts him but the need to talk to Marshall about them, us, has her nervous. "Joanna says she goes down," Mary checks the van's clock, "about now, and then another nap around 2 o'clock." She pauses to think as she puts on her seatbelt and Marshall gets in. "If her first nap is late, she won't go down till 4 o'clock and then she doesn't sleep as long, and goes to bed earlier. She always wakes up hungry so have something ready. You can call Joanna if you have any questions."

"I told you you would make a good mom." Despite his assurances, Mary still has her doubts.

Discharge forms in hand, they are in the hospital parking lot and Mary's loading Norah into her car seat. "You're sure?" Mary stops and regards him. "If Caldwell and Co. have your address, they probably have mine. There was a security detail at my place last night." She rolls her eyes. "My neighbors probably think I'm under arrest."

"In that case, we might be safer at my new place. The address isn't on file yet. Think Norah will go for it?"

"Maybe." She hesitates, but the need to know her child is safe outweighs any embarrassment at accepting help. "You'll need to take my van to haul all her stuff."

Arriving at her place Mary gets Norah out of her car seat and reaches for the diaper bag. "Let's get packing."

"Give her here." Marshall has been watching Mary unlatch Norah. "She needs to get used to me. Don't you bean?" he says as Mary hands her over.

Mary unlocks her door and cases the living room for anything embarrassing. Not bad. Marshall follows her to Norah's room where she starts refilling the diaper bag. That accomplished she gets a box while Marshall jostles the baby making her giggle. She dumps diapers, baby wipes and clothes into the box.

"Does she need that many outfits?" Marshall asks innocently.

"Yes!" Mary replies emphatically. "You better have a few more shirts and pants for yourself. She can surprise you. I need to grab a jacket for that meeting."

Marshall thinks she looks good just the way she is. He distracts himself by reaching into the box examining the baby cornstarch. "I use that when I change her," Mary explains. She grabs a changing pad and adds it to the box. Opening the closet she grabs some toys. Mary sees Marshall's eyes light up. "Don't make a bigger mess than the baby, okay?"

"What about food?"

Mary leads him to the kitchen and starts loading jars and pouches into the box. "You'll need a few of these." She stuffs bibs into the box. "Have you got a mop? You'll need it after you feed her." He repositions some items making better use of the space. "You have a gun safe. Right?" Her baby makes her extra cautious.

"Uh, yeah." He's somber as he remembers the Glock outfitted lock box Abigail got him. It was such a thoughtful gift, so unexpected. He was touched by her consideration and what it portended – a meaningful relationship. It was a good thing Abigail had her heart set on a particular venue that wasn't available till next year. Otherwise he'd be marrying a fraud.

Mary takes the baby and the stroller. Marshall adds a few board books, grabs the folded play yard in one hand and hoists the box onto his shoulder. Mary sets the alarm and locks the door. Realizing all this stuff needs to go up four floors he regrets his 'pent house.'

"Let me buckle her in," he says. "I need to be able to do this when I come get you." He doesn't need many pointers before Norah is secure. Norah is entertained by the man getting her ready to go.

With a final smooch to Norah's cheek, Mary puts on her jacket and is ready. "Thanks for doing this Marshall. Call Joanna if you have any questions." She sighs, feeling defeated that she can't answer details about Norah's day. "I'll be stuck in that meeting."

"We'll manage," he tells Norah. "Won't we?" Norah blinks and babbles. "Give me your keys Mare. I'll drop you off then Norah and I will go to the park." He gets in the driver's seat and adjusts it and the rear-view mirror. Mary resigns herself to being a passenger in her own car.

It's a short drive to the Federal Building and Mary decides there isn't enough time for the talk she's been dreading. Leaving her baby in a strange place adds to her anxiety. But it's Marshall. He'll take good care of her. He drops her off at the main entrance and she arrives at the conference room only a few minutes after the meeting is supposed to start. Real professional Shannon. You're late and smell of baby vomit. At least she has her black court jacket.

The large windowed room is full of people milling about getting coffee or water. Mary doesn't know all their names but she recognizes some and can guess which agencies the others represent. The long polished oval table and comfortable chairs make her apprehensive. ATF and the PD seemed to think her actions were appropriate. She won't be surprised if the other agencies aren't on board. Moving into the room she spots one friendly face, Michael.

She gives him the once over. "What's with the suit? You playing dress up? I thought the camo was welded on."

Michael hands her a bottle of water from the side table and ignores her comments. "Where's Marshall? Is he out of the hospital?"

"Yeah. He was discharged this morning. I didn't have anyone to take care of Norah so he's with her. He made me come to this meet and greet since he's on medical leave."

"You'll make a house husband out of him yet."

"He doesn't have far to go," Mary snarks. He was comfortable driving her minivan. A tall man in a gray suit from DoJ asks everyone to sit and the meeting is called to order.

The ATF have discovered several of the Boss's customers. They've traced guns that were shipped to the Boss crossing several states. After watching FBI agent and the AUSA tied to Caldwell both they and their new supplier are under arrest. Caldwell must have screwed over the two federals because they were quick to incriminate him in several drug deals as well as gun running. Hearing that, Mary realizes that's why the DEA has joined the party.

Finally they get to the firefights at the warehouse. Michael glosses over Mary's witness in his report on the first incident and his recap of his rescue covers everything so Mary keeps her mouth shut. Michael asks if anyone has evidence that the Boss or his customers are targeting marshals. No one does and although it's impossible to prove a negative, neither the Marshal Service or the FBI was able to find another marshal that had colluded with Caldwell. By the time the meeting is finished Mary thinks it's possible that they are safe, but not positive. Caldwell's shooting of Marshall was personal, but she's not ready to bet their lives on it.

When the meeting finishes Mary stands, stretching. She finds Michael and interrupts his conversation with another agent. "Can you give me a ride?"

Michael's looking around the room and turns to her. "Sure. I've got one more thing I have to do and then we can leave. It will just be a minute."

"Sure." Just what she's always wanted to do - hang around with a bunch of power ties.

He steps away to intercept the grey suited man who is on his way to the exit.

Mary calls Marshall to let him know she has a ride. Marshall tells her to skip the office and come straight to his place. He's checked with Delia and the office can survive without them for a few more hours. She gets in Michael's car briefly wondering about his connections and what they mean to the Caldwell investigation.

A/N: One more chapter and an epilogue to go.