"Well, I don't know what went wrong! Once second I'm trying to fix a broken mirror, and the next we're here!" an agitated voice sounded from outside the door, drawing Sirius' attention away from the nothing he was doing.

"Perhaps an outside force tampered with your alchemy, brother? If that's the case, we may be in danger," a much calmer voice advised warningly, then said, "Maybe somebody in here can at least tell us where we are."

The first voice grumbled but didn't really reply, and a second later a short blonde boy stomped in through the door. His steps were immediately muffled by the carpet, and with a venomous glance down at it, he stomped his foot especially hard and turned it into concrete.

Following the boy was an immense suit of armor, the source of the rather childlike second voice, but from its fierce appearance you'd never know. It looked like it was meant to fit four of the first boy at the same time, with maybe an even smaller boy crouching in the helmet, and if he weren't so terrifying the picture would have been amusing.

Patrons scrambled back in fear, of both the armor person and of being stepped on, but Sirius retained a calmly curious look on his face. The first boy stopped in front of the counter and opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Sirius spoke first.

"Tokens are half off for children twelve and under," he said to the armor pleasantly, glancing meaningfully down at the 'child' he knew perfectly well to be Edward Elric, and he was secretly pleased to see a tic forming on the alchemist's face.

"Oh, uh, no. You've got it all wrong. He's my older brother," the armor, who was even-more-obviously Alphonse, placated hurriedly, and Sirius seemed to consider this for a moment before looking at the both of them sadly.

"Oh, then...well, I'm sorry, but you have to be at least fifteen to be in here alone. Rules and all," he said regretfully, blissfully ignorant of Ed's rapidly reddening face.

Then, of course, he glanced over and laughed a bit, letting slip, "Oh wow. You're almost as red as my Philosopher's Stone."

.

.

.

Silence.

Complete and pervading.

"What?" Ed finally managed to choke out, gazing up at him with eyes wide in disbelief. Sirius perked up and pulled a simple silver chain out from under his shirt, a blood-red stone shaped like stylized fire hanging from it.

"My philosopher's stone. Lucky find for me, but I keep it more out of respect than for the power," he admitted, glancing down at it sadly before tucking it back into his shirt.

"Respect?" Al asked curiously, masking his surprise rather well. Must have had something to do with the inexpressive hunk of metal that was his face.

"Oh my, yes. A philosopher's stone is made with the matter from thousands of human bodies, and the power comes from their poor, tortured souls held within. This stone is a mass grave of sacrificed people, coalesced into a symbol of greed and delusions of power," Sirius explained solemnly, "The philosopher's stone doesn't negate equivalent exchange - it gives you souls to fill in the blanks you might leave in a transmutation."

Ed's eyes were now wide with fear, and a smattering of revulsion. Al was shaking his head sadly, though it could also have been in disappointment. Metal is very hard to read emotions off of, after all.

"Of course, the only reason I don't just use it up and set them free is because they want to be used for something worthwhile. They say that if somebody went to all that trouble to trap them, they may as well do some good," Sirius continued conversationally, snapping his fingers.

And then there was no more metal in front of him, replaced instead by two perfectly healthy and whole boys. Al's hair was a little matted, sure, and he was extremely thin, but he was there. Ed had all of his limbs, too, though he wasn't exactly doing much; he was rather shocked, after all.

"Wh-wh-what just-" Al began in a rough voice, hoarse from misuse, but he was cut off by his mother coming back to life.

A woman stormed through the door, angry as you please, spotting the two boys almost immediately and stomping over to them. She had shoulder-length brown hair that was tied back into a ponytail, brown eyes that were flickering with the flames of righteous anger, and a simply blue dress that reached to just below her knees.

"What did you two think you were doing, trying to flaunt the law of equivalent exchange?! You could have been killed!" Trisha Elric screamed, flailing her arms around wildly as both boys whirled around in surprise. She was cut off from her tirade when they both hugged her strongly, tears in their eyes.

"W-we're sorry. It-, we'll never do it again," Ed stuttered thickly, trying his best not to collapse into a sobbing mess. Al was too far gone for that, crying openly into his mother's surprised embrace and hiccuping every few seconds.

Sirius watched the heartwarming family reunion with a soft smile on his face, waiting patiently for one of them to calm down. Ed, the strong older brother, was understandably the first one to straighten up and clear his throat, so Sirius tapped him on his shoulder.

"Well if you're done with that," he said, not unkindly, "there's some other things you should know. One, the homunculi are man-made beings that search for the stone because they want to become fully human."

Ed's eyes widened in shock, and he numbly accepted Sirius' pendant as he pulled it up over his head and laid it in the short boy's hand.

"I'd like you to help them," Sirius finished, smiling at Ed's determined nod, then grew tight-lipped as he said, "Secondly, Roy Mustang killed Winry's parents under the orders of General Gran, the Iron-Blooded Alchemist. They were nursing both the military and the enemy, and of course, helping the enemy is a war crime. That's why Roy wants to be Fuhrer so badly; he never wants to have to follow another order like that again."

The family of three automatically stiffened, Alphonse and Trisha straightening up with looks in their eyes that, though he would never admit it, terrified Sirius to the very core of his being. Shaking his head quickly to clear his fear, he smiled slightly and pressed onward.

"Third thing. This world is what's on the other side of The Gate of Alchemy. If you make it past the shadow children with your mind, body, and soul intact, you are delivered here to begin life again. Since there's no alchemy here, though, it's nearly impossible for anyone to get back," Sirius admitted to the shocked family. He resumed his smile as he thought of something else.

"Fourth thing. Father, the homonculus that's causing everything wrong in your life, is trying to do what he did to the Kingdom of Xerxes. Namely, use the nation as a gigantic transmutation circle. However this time, instead of making himself and your father immortal bodies, he's going to try to pull God through The Gate of Alchemy and contain it within himself using the souls of every Amestrian ever. You must stop him," Sirius said gravely to Ed, who straightened imperceptibly and nodded, determination shining in his eyes.

Smiling genially, he snapped his fingers again, and the family turned to see a Gate of Alchemy materialize right there in front of them. Truth was grinning widely in front of it, standing amusedly to the side as the door swung open grandly.

"Oh, and one last thing!" Sirius exclaimed, and the three looked at him expectantly.

Smirking, he assumed Ed's voice and yelled, "Colonel Mustang looks dead sexy in a mini-skirt!" pushing a wall of force at the surprised and confused family. The doors closed, Truth's grin grew even wider before he and the Gate vanished, and Sirius' smirk grew more pronounced.

"I love my job," Ed's voice said in satisfaction.