"Shit."

"We didn't think this through."

"Shit."

"Levi's going to kill us."

"Shit."

"What if we make a human sacrifice?"

Levi, who had earlier decided to ignore everything that came out of the mouths of his new co-workers due to the fact that he would be spending the next two to three months on a private island with only them to keep him company, allows himself to be dragged into the discussion. He raises his glare to eye the other individuals aboard the Smith's private jet from his seated position in the corner, not bothering to raise his chin from its resting position atop his fist. "What is it now?"

Mike and Nanaba are the ones flying the goddamn ship, Oluo's passed out in the lavatory (apparently he's prone to motion sickness and goes through this constantly for the sake of his job—the poor guy), Gunther's fallen asleep, and Eld, Petra, Hange, and Erwin are crowded together on the opposite side of the aircraft, all four of them frozen as though they've been caught stealing from a metaphoric cookie jar.

Erwin's repetitive mutters of "shitshitshit" have intensified in their volume and tempo and Petra's shaking and Eld is trying to dissociate himself from the conversation and Hange has this really forced really fake smile on their lips.

"What is it now?" Levi repeats through grit teeth.

"SHITSHITSHITSHIT."

"W-What do you mean? I-I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Look, Mr. Ackerman, I had nothing to do with this conversation, I swear—"

"We miscalculated the sleeping arrangements on the island and had worried more about where the contestants would stay, so it looks like the nine of us will have to sleep outside in tents. But don't worry! Erwin says he thinks that there's a big enough shed by the house on the island for us to protect our equipment."

Erwin, Petra, and Eld all turn to look at Hange with varying degrees of fear, anger, and hopelessness.

Then they turn to Levi.

No words are spoken.

And then a loud, resounding, "FUCKING GODDAMMIT, I HATE YOU ALL."

At the front of the plane, Nanaba turns to look at Mike. "Seems like Levi's found out about the sleeping arrangements."

The man beside her nods. "Props to us for volunteering to pilot the plane so that we wouldn't have to be there for that awkward discussion."

"Though I'm surprised they believed us when we told them that we knew how to fly a plane."

Mike laughs, loud and booming, "We're fine as long as we don't crash. What they don't know won't hurt them."

They both smirk at their cleverness before giving each other a high five.

"Oh, hey, watch out, the air pressure light is blinking red."

"Yeah, we probably need to take care of that."

"How do we do that?"

"I have absolutely no fucking clue."

-—episode one: awkward introductions—-
erwin would like to fuck traditions in the ass and not title this 'pilot'

"Levi, Petra, are you all set?"

Petra grins at Hange and Erwin who stand behind the cameras, offering them an exuberant nod. Levi, on the other hand, rolls his eyes and and gives them a single bob of the head to signal that nothing could be worse than the horrid turbulence of the flight that they had just managed to survive.

The camera clicks on.

"Hello and welcome to Teenage Wasteland! Reality television's biggest newcomer where the gathered individuals compete against one another while striving for self-improvement," the woman atop the platform starts, quickly gaining back the attention from the production crew. "My name is Petra Ral—"

"And I'm Levi Ackerman."

"And we'll be your hosts for the next few months!"

Hange kind of regrets not allowing some of the applicants to appear on this first episode just to stand in front of the raised platform and cheer every time Petra or Levi said something—it would've made for great for publicity. However, they don't allow themselves to dwell on it for too long, and instead erupts into a loud cheer to fill in the noise gap while making a mental note to tell the editors to add in an appropriate soundtrack.

The brunet host takes the wheel now, turning to Petra with a hint of an amiable expression beginning to take place on his features. "The kids are starting to arrive on the island and will be meeting us—and each other—for the first time in a matter of minutes. Petra, is there anyone in particular that caught your eye during the interviews?"

She chuckles, shifting from her position onstage to face him, her light blue summer dress matching nicely with the short-sleeved dress shirt Erwin had thrown at him ten minutes ago. "That's tough to say! I definitely have my eyes set on Eren though: he seems like such a romantic and we all need more of those in the world," another sound of excitement bubbles forth from her throat. "And hey, didn't your younger cousin make the cut to appear on the show, Levi?"

He scowls at her, turning his head away from facing her, "Tch. Yeah, Mikasa."

"I'm assuming that you're cheering for her then?"

There are a million ways in which he could respond to her, but he chooses to simply say, "It wouldn't be fair if I let my familial ties bias me towards one contestant or another—not that it really matters." He turns his eyes to her as though to silently warn, "And don't you dare bring it up in front of the others," but does nothing beyond that.

Petra shoots him a glare for the shortest of seconds—long enough to silently voice her displeasure in what he assumes must be a boring response but short enough to not catch the attention of the viewers at home—before turning back to face something beyond the camera. "Oh, look! The contestants have arrived on the island and are now making their way to the stage!"

Sure enough, a variety of small sailboats have made it to dock, and twelve teenagers are making their way to their hosts. Some are already trying to start up some casual chatter with one another, but it's impossible for any conversation to get too in-depth since the distance between the dock and the stage isn't that far. For the most part, the contestants each seem to be sizing the other up: some with innocent curiosity in their stares, others with the gleam of a manipulator's.

They line up on the stage behind Petra and Levi as they had been instructed via scribbled instructions on a napkin handed to them by the captains of the ships that they each respectively departed from this morning. As they walk past the cameras, there are varying degrees of smiles, glares, and nonchalant glances they share with the viewers at home.

Levi allows himself to regard his younger cousin carefully, just to make sure that she doesn't do something dumb to embarrass herself yet again.

Knowing that she's being watched, Mikasa shoots him a pointed look and makes herself absolutely sure that she will not trip by keeping her eyes fixed on the floor in front of her.

It makes her look nervous and shy, but oh well, Levi figures, it's better than having her faceplant on television. He probably wouldn't be able to talk Erwin and Hange into editing that bit out.

"Wow, Levi, look at all of them!"

"I don't want to. Why the hell are they gigantic."

"We're just short, Levi."

The man beside her mumbles a string of curses, not aware that when he turned his head away from his co-host, he succeeded in voicing all of his agitation directly into the mic.

No one decides to stop him in fear that it'll only make him angrier.

Petra recovers rather smoothly, angling her body so that she can speak to the newcomers face to face while simultaneously facing the cameras. "Hi, everyone! Although you've already introduced yourselves to our viewers at home, we might as well do another round since none of you are familiar with one another. Names alone should be fine."

She gestures to a blonde woman on the left side of the stage, and each individual proceeds to state their name with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

It's not very exciting and Levi cringes because man, these kids are awkward as hell and it only takes one look at Erwin behind the camera to know that the blond is putting all of his faith in Levi right now and dear God, Levi has no idea why.

He's thankful that Petra seems to have a plethora of experience with this though, because she lightly teases the tall boy at the end who is sweating buckets and has at least gotten some kind of reaction out of the rest of the contestants.

With that done, she shoots another smile at the camera as though wow, these kids are super fun, and Levi wonders who the hell will manage to believe her (though he imagines that a whole troupe of Petra fanboys will, at the very least). "Now that that's done and over with, Levi and I will explain a few rules before we release you on today's mission. Levi?"

"You squirts aren't allowed to talk to one another about your missions. Anyone that asks another for help or mentions it in passing will be eliminated from the competition and sent home. This is literally the only way you can be disqualified and it's easy to avoid. Don't fuck it up."

"There are a few clever ways that you can get around this, of course," Petra chimes in, the perfect optimist to match Levi's blunt nature. "We'll leave that up to your imagination, however. If you want to take the risk though, know that you will receive no warning and will immediately be sent home if it's decided that you blatantly shared your mission."

"Cameras are posted everywhere throughout the island except within the bathrooms. Yes, there are cameras in the bedrooms, so don't do anything there that you wouldn't want the world to see."

"He means changing. Change in the bathrooms, everyone!"

"I mean that they they shouldn't do anything in the bedrooms that they wouldn't want the world to see." Levi repeats, shooting a glare to the contestants behind him. "We're not shooting a porno."

A few teens laugh, others blush, and Petra stiffens.

"Levi," she hisses, "Look at your teleprompter."

He glares at her and whispers back, "I don't need it."

"Look at the goddamn teleprompter."

He rolls his eyes but does so anyway just to shut her up.

What he sees makes him want to vomit and what the hell, no way does he want to talk about this, but Petra is shooting him a pointed look and Erwin is looking at him expectantly, and man, just fuck his life.

"The other room that has no cameras in it," he manages through grit teeth, "Is a room with a godawful name that one of our staff members, Hange, came up with, and it's cheesy as hell and I'm going to spare you all the agony of hearing it aloud because the agony of reading the name from this damned teleprompter is hellish enough. It's, uh—"

"It's a room for intimacy," Petra finishes for him, saving her poor co-host from his bundled up awkwardness. "You guys are all of age and I'm sure that you know what it entails. Just use it sparingly, okay?"

They all have the decency to look mildly embarrassed, save for Jean and Ymir who are still looking at the cameras with almost identical steadfast expressions.

Levi doesn't even want to meet his cousin's stare because oh God, she wouldn't do that kind of stuff with these dorks, right?

Seeing that his friend has probably lost all of his coherency for the time being, Erwin steps from behind the camera and is famous enough to easily be recognized by the contestants and the viewers at home alike. "Anywho," he starts, making his way atop the platform, "As you all know, this is a private island that belongs to my family. You'll all be staying within in the family mansion. It's three stories: the main entrance leads to the second floor, six of you will live on the third, and the other six will live on the first. Most of the interesting stuff can be found on the main floor, which is the second: the kitchen, living room, entertainment area, bar, and swimming pool. You're all eighteen, so you're legal to drink. Just, please, don't overdo it."

Ymir laughs.

Erwin shoots her a nervous look.

Petra takes over. "The third floor has rooms that each feature a lovely view of the island, state of the art, recently refurbished bathrooms, customized designer closets, personalized home entertainment centers, and king-sized mattresses. There's a maid that'll come by once a day to clean up after you, so you won't have to worry about cleaning up after yourself."

The teenagers look excited by this fact.

"The first floor is more like a basement than anything else and there's a single window in the hallway that has a pretty awesome view of tree trunks if you're the kind of guy that finds that kind of thing aesthetic," Levi adds, reviving himself for just long enough to deliver the bad news because it's all he really has to look forward to for the next few months. "Your closet is double my size—so not much—with standard bathrooms, twin-sized mattresses, and we didn't bother to take the time to clean it up."

The kids look disgusted.

"And you also don't get a maid."

The expressions intensify.

"There's also no electronics down there and the signal sucks."

They really look mortified now.

"And if you're a first-floor contestant, you're not allowed to enter the third-floor. And vice-versa."

He thinks that he's gotten the cocky one—Jean—to at least look like he's about to faint, and that's the biggest accomplishment that Levi could ever ask for.

"But don't worry! You still get a say in where you'll be staying—sort of," Petra chimes in.

Erwin nods in agreement, "Our first competition of the day is architecturally-based and was the idea of Levi here."

The brunet smirks, knowing what's coming, and he kind of wants to laugh because this will probably be the only mission that he'll enjoy hosting.

"You'll be split into three groups of four, and your goal is to each set up some kind of structure where the production crew will be sleeping. All you have to work with is the tent we provide you with and whatever you can find on the island. Points will be awarded for functionality, creativity, and judge's votes. Judges, of course, will be Levi, Petra, and I, plus our friend and advertising manager, Hange."

Said individual offers an excited wave.

"The groups have been pre-determined, but feel free to talk to others that aren't in your group. In the long run, the groups themselves don't really matter." Petra pauses, realizing that she has to clarify. "Groups will just be working together in order to get an advantage for the next round. There's been one individual that's been leading the popularity charts since the teasers aired, and it's that person that's going to get to pick who lives on the floor with them."

"So make sure that you suck up to one another," Levi adds. "Though I suppose that if you're the popular kid, everyone will either love you or hate you, so you can't really win."

They look nervous now.

Petra grins, "Good luck!"

[ REC o ]

"Looks like they forgot to mention the confessional booth and the fucking terrible condition it's in," the young man mutters, adjusting the video camera before sitting on a stool in what seems to be a shed. It's not too difficult to recognize the arrogant man who had first made his debut on-screen about a week ago. Jean looks as annoyed as ever as he crinkles his nose in disgust, surveying the cramped area around him. "I'm pretty sure that I'm supposed to be collecting supplies for my group's makeshift shelter, but Mr. Smith wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to shoot one of these. So, here I am, I guess."

He sighs, angrily muttering about how it smells like someone recently took a dump within the confines of the room.

"Not sure what to really say right now—there's not really anything to confess. Though I will say that I'm fucking pissed about the circumstances revolving around the rooming arrangements. Like hell I'm going to be sleeping in the fucking basement, but I'm not going to suck anyone's dick to get on the third floor either?" He scowls. "I'm banking on my popularity, but God knows what else is going on with the other contestants. I've only managed to talk to my group so far, and the only one who says anything is this chick named Ymir. I literally have not gotten to talk—let alone meet—anyone else in my group because Ymir will not shut up. God fucking damn."

The young man releases a defeated sigh. "I'm not even going to complain about these awful outfits they have us wearing," he says, gesturing to an obnoxiously orange shirt with the show's logo on the front and a pair of generic white boardshorts. "At least I don't have to get my own clothes dirty."

Jean trudges back towards the general site of his group, but unfortunately, has zero sense of direction and has difficulty finding his way back through the forest. It takes over half an hour for him to get back to the beach, and goddamn, Erwin fucking Smith could have at least been courteous enough to walk him back to where he was before, but well, just fuck everything, Jean's in a bad mood.

"What the hell took you so long, pretty boy?" comes a feminine sneer as slanted eyes narrow even more in distaste.

The young man returns the annoyed expression, ruffling his hair to get a leaf or two out of his locks. "Mr. Smith asked me to film the first confessional of the show. I also prefer 'gorgeous stud' as opposed to 'pretty boy,' thank you very much."

Ymir rolls her eyes in disgust, being sure to accentuate her annoyance. "You didn't even come back with anything. You're absolutely useless. Probably more useless than that Reiner kid and that fucking says something because he cracked a joke at Levi and when the shortstack told him to run around the island fifty times, he actually agreed to doing it." She snorts. "At least he actually got something finished before he decided to be a dumb piece of shit."

Jean scoffs in disbelief, "Chill out. It's a big island. I got lost. Shit happens."

"Mikasa here is quiet as fuck and she's done more than you have in the past hour, dumbass. You're all lip."

"We literally just got on this island, how the hell was I not supposed to get lost?" He thinks that at this point, he's about to step towards the shorter woman in an attempt to intimidate her into shutting up (as though it would work), but catches himself at the last minute.

Wait, Mikasa? Is that the name of his other group member?

He blinks for a moment for surprise, before turning his attention away from Ymir and towards the seated girl on the ground.

The world freezes.

She's sitting on the sandy floor of the beach, pale skin burning under the heat of the sun and long black hair clinging to her exposed collarbones. Her brightly colored shirt has been abandoned in favor of a plain white tank-top that she had been wearing underneath, and there's something about her posture and the way she hugs her knees to her chest as she rests her back against the trunk of the tree. Her eyes are tired and dim as she glances up at him quietly from her seated position, chapped lips slightly parted in innocent curiosity. There's something familiar about her and Jean feels this horrid churning in his stomach that makes him want to throw up and oh no, fuck, shit.

Moments of silence have passed, much to Ymir's growing amusement as she throws her head back in a sardonic laugh. "Fuck, Kirstein, you're a real piece of work!"

He flushes in anger.

"S-Shut up!"

Armin's still trying to learn names, so for now, he's dubbed each of his group members with a nickname: excited hyena, eager puppy, and genderbent twin.

Their real names are Connie, Eren, and Krista, respectively.

Despite his original beliefs, the group manages a nice, lighthearted atmosphere, and he's actually kind of enjoying his experience on the show so far. They've decided to build their "ninja camp" ("Because the short host guy looks like a killer ninja that'll probably swoop in when we're sleeping and poke us with french fries since blondie won't let him have real knives," Connie had explained) on the very edge of the forest, sheltered by the trees instead of out in the open. It has a nice view of the ocean (though any view of the ocean could probably be considered a nice one) and now that they've managed to set up the tent, they're working on thinking of a way to make it more unique.

"I mean, what if no one else manages to figure out how to put the tent together?" Connie asks with a tone of innocent laziness in his voice as he allows himself to flop down onto the sand in front of the tent.

Eren lets something that sounds like a mix between a snort and a laugh rip through the air as he falls into position next to Connie. They've both taken off their shirts and tied them around their heads to create makeshift turbans in a mild attempt to protect themselves from the heat. Eren had considered finding and crushing berries that they could paint onto their faces so that they could act as stoic guard decor in an attempt to gain originality points. Krista had shut him down immediately with a light laugh and the reminder that if Levi stayed in this tent, he probably wouldn't let them leave at night to sleep in the house. Connie had backed her up with the insistence that if they tried too hard to impress him, he'd probably cut them down with his french fry swords.

Armin's not too sure when Levi became the butt of their jokes, but he didn't complain and had laughed aloud with the rest of them.

"I'm pretty sure the tent came with instructions," Armin throws in, choosing not to mention that Eren and Connie had decidedly thrown them away with not so much as a second glance. "If they can't read, then that alone is pretty depressing."

The green-eyed boy a few feet away laughs at this—sharp and rasp—and then he touches his throat in surprise. "I think I'm getting sick. How the fuck am I already sick."

"Levi probably poisoned your breakfast this morning. You better look out, Eren, it looks like you're his first target."

They all laugh at Connie as Eren picks up some sand and throws it at the lighter boy's face, eyes sparkling with mirth.

"I can't die yet, there are too many things I want to do!"

"Hm? Like what?"

"I want to explore the world," Eren breathes in excitement. Armin is interested to note that, although he's quickly learned that Eren is an incredibly energetic boy, the energy that the brunet possesses has shifted. Rather than the lighthearted joking aura he emulated before, this new aura is full of hope and desire and a certain kind of desperation that Armin can't find the proper words to describe.

It seems that Armin isn't the only one to notice the slight change in atmosphere as Krista has raised her eyes to look up at Eren with an expression that holds much more than innocent curiosity.

If Connie had noticed, he doesn't make it evident. Instead, he rolls onto his side in order to face the brunet boy beside him. "Hey, have you ever played Kingdom Hearts?"

Eren's aura shifts once more as he nods in quick excitement. "Yeah, of course! The day Square Enix releases Kingdom Hearts III is the day I die of too many feels. But in all honesty, I'll probably feel the same way when they release Final Fantasy XV."

Connie beams at him and it's clear to both Armin and Krista that a strong, clear connection has been made. "Dude, we could pretend that this island is its own little world—"

A gasp of excitement. "Like Destiny Islands!"

"Yeah! C'mon," he says excitedly, jumping upward and holding out his hand to help his companion up. "Let's go explore!"

Eren's eyes widen and it doesn't take long before they're both jumping up and down to shake off the sand. They're about to run off until they both freeze and turn to face the matching sets of blue eyes that linger on their frames.

It's a silent plea for permission and Armin almost laughs at their childish nature. "Go ahead. I'm fine with just banking on the idea that none of the other groups know how to set up a tent."

The duo cheers and high-fives one another before suddenly freezing again and turning to face Krista.

She's looking at them with the smirk of a woman in power and her eyes twinkle in amusement. Eren and Connie both look as though they're about to get on their knees and beg, resulting in a light laugh echoing throughout the air. "You really don't need to ask. Just bring back seashells or something else that we can decorate with."

Connie and Eren both brighten instantaneously, fist-pumping the air and jumping for joy as they race each other along the shoreline.

Armin and Krista are left with one another in silence. Armin's tied his hair in a short ponytail and leans against a tree trunk, arms crossed in thought and one leg bent against its bark. Krista sits across from him, hair tied in a messy bun, and chin resting on her open palm as she stares at him wordlessly.

The realization that hits the two of them is identical in its entirety, synchronous in its occurrence, and vast in its scope of possibilities.

They both part their lips to speak, but noticing that the other has done the same, they both end up saying nothing.

But despite this, the two blondes offer each other hesitant warm smiles and distrust gleaming in blue eyes.

It's silent as the four work together: Sasha, Annie, Bertholdt, and Marco.

Annie had commandeered the role of leader, smoothly dividing operations and barking sharp, simple orders to those around her.

Sasha, unfortunately, has been struggling to untangle the thick fabric of the tent and has easily lost inspiration to discover a way to do so because of her horrible boredom and the fact that none of her groupmates will respond to anything she says.

Why do they all have to be so quiet?

She parts her lips to try to string up another conversation, but she's cut off by a sharp glare from Annie. "You still haven't unfolded that? It's not that hard."

Sasha means to respond intelligently, but it comes out as a mere squeak.

Annie rolls her eyes and snatches it from the redhead, promptly flicking it outward and successfully laying the single sheet on the sand, before turning back to assist with the framework of the tent.

Not knowing what else to do, Sasha sheepishly takes a few steps back, "Uh, I'll go and find some stuff that we can use to decorate then."

She doesn't move again until Annie gives her a sharp nod.

Sasha bolts into the forest.

The silence continues for a moment until Bertholdt casually states, "Well, at least it's finally quiet now."

To the surprise of the two brunet men, Annie throws her head back in a gentle laugh that sounds nothing like the angry barks she had been shouting to them all earlier. For a moment, she actually looks kind and it catches them both offguard.

The laughter is cut off sharply when she pivots to grimace at Marco. "You're still trying to attach that pole?"

Marco pales and Bertholdt isn't sure why he smiles.

Ymir and Jean are still yelling at each other and Mikasa's really freaking out because now they've dragged her into the conversation and she has no idea what Ymir's talking about when she says that Jean's got the hots for her because wait, does that mean that someone likes her? But she didn't do anything? People are so weird?

"Looks like we have a little lover boy over here," the freckled woman jokes, offering the fuming boy beside her a friendly shove.

The words spark recognition in his eyes and set his body aflame and he growls as he shoves her back.

She blinks at the response, angrily mumbles something about how this dumbfuck doesn't even know how to take a joke, before tackling him.

Unfortunately, Ymir hadn't thought the whole scenario through and succeeds in crushing the tent under both of their body weights as they wrestle one another in the sandy soil.

Mikasa now vaguely understands why Levi had been so adamant on having her homeschooled: interacting with people is confusing as hell and seems to cause a lot more stress than it should.

She makes a movement to stand and attempt to break up the fight, but before she can move, she hears more shouts coming from behind her.

"Whoa, Eren, what was that?"

"I don't know, but we need to check it out!"

And then from a different direction, a concerned squeak and the sound of bare feet rushing towards the scene.

In no time, two shirtless men have shown up—one with a tousle of dark brown hair and another with alarmed hazel eyes—and are attempting to break Jean and Ymir apart, while a redheaded girl stands at the edge of the scene.

Her wide eyes blink before turning to meet Mikasa's in shock as she mutters in confusion, "What the hell's going on?"

Mikasa's about to shrug in honest confusion until the two boys succeed in forcing Jean and Ymir towards opposite sides of the campsite. The four individuals that stand at the center of attention are all red in the face and heaving their chests dramatically—the original combatants more so than the interlopers.

The one to catch his breath first is the newcomer with the golden-green eyes and a sloppily tied t-shirt atop his head that she can only assume is meant to shield his tanned features from the sun. He kind of reminds Mikasa of the sun above their heads, except the boy before her has something within his stare that she can't quite put her finger on, something that doesn't shine as bright as the rest of his personality—

Her thoughts are cut off when the brunet leans down to extend an arm to her with a kind smile and Mikasa realizes that she's kind of just been staring at him and probably weirding him out. Dear God, why did she have to be so bad at this?

She flushes as she takes hold of his hand and he lifts her upward. Mikasa kind of expects him to say something—an introduction maybe?—but he simply turns back around to face the others in the group with a stern expression on his features.

Jean is quick to notice the brief exchange and immediately feels his anger spike up again. Ymir's already laughing hysterically at the other's situation. The brunet boy's furrowed his eyebrows, but it's difficult to tell whether this is due to his annoyance or his frustration. His companion is looking back and forth between all the gathered members in the area, eyes sparkling with confusion, the redheaded girl from earlier mimicking him without even realizing that she's doing so.

"It's our first day here," the hazel-eyed boy says. "We shouldn't fight."

"Kirstein's the one who pushed me first," Ymir answers flippantly, and it's clear that she's lost a significant amount of interest in the conversation already. "I was just trying to defend my honor. And Mikasa's too, I guess."

All at once, four pairs of eyes flicker to the brunette in question as her features immediately turn a bright shade of pink. (Jean's blushing profusely as well and is doing everything he can to avoid the eyes of the others.)

The dots are slowly being connected and Eren doesn't even bother to hear Jean's defense as he turns to glare at the ashen-haired boy. "What the fuck? Do you know her or something? You can't just go around hitting on girls that clearly don't want your attention, you perverted creep!"

That's not really what happened and Jean and Ymir both know it, but there's no stopping this guy, it seems—much to Jean's horror.

"No means no, and it was right for her," Eren pauses to gesture towards the freckled woman who has an amused smirk on her features, "to step in and put you in your rightful place." He stops to drag his hand downward across his features, in a mild attempt to calm himself down. "Seriously. You're disgusting. I really wish there was a way for us to get people kicked off this island because I can assure you, asshole, that you would be my first choice."

Connie and Sasha share a concerned glance with one another, shocked by the boy's words and not quite sure how they should react.

The rage within the taller boy has accumulated to the point that it's causing him to shake, and in a few strides, he's staring down at the green-eyed newcomer, hands balled into fists at his sides as he tries to restrain himself from causing another fight. "Now listen here, you absolute fucknut: you have no idea what the hell you're talking about and clearly need to chill the fuck down. You and Ymir both. God, I'm surrounded by absolute assholes."

Ymir knows that at this point, she doesn't have to respond.

"I'm the asshole?" Eren shrieks, "No, man, fuck you, you're the asshole."

"I said it first."

"What? No, I did!"

And at this point, Eren's grabbing Jean by the shirt and Jean's already shoving and Mikasa doesn't understand what the hell is going on and really kind of wishes that she had listened to Levi and avoided this whole awkward fiasco.

"Um," Sasha starts awkwardly, desperate to break the tension. "How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?"

The group grows silent as all eyes turn towards her in confusion.

"Ten-tickles," she finishes lamely, a desperate smile on her face as she hopes to alleviate the stressful situation.

It takes a second as the punchline slowly processes through the minds of each of the individuals, and even when it does, it's only Connie who laughs: loud and unrelenting. She grins widely at him, happy that someone understands her sense of humor, before turning to face the others gathered and losing a bit of her excitement when she realizes that they're still staring at her blankly.

There's another moment of nothingness until Eren grabs Mikasa by the wrist and pulls her after him, explaining, "We need to get you away from this jerk. Guys can be such fucking asswipes, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that," as he calls for Connie to follow suit. The shorter man does so without much hesitation, shooting a friendly wave towards the redheaded girl with the stellar sense of humor as he walks away.

Sasha's left standing somewhere between Jean and Ymir and man, the awkwardness in the air is practically tangible. The man's face is red (from anger, from frustration, from humiliation, the poor guy doesn't seem to be having a fantastic first day) as he kicks at the sand and mutters flustered curses at the air. The freckled woman, on the other hand, stands a few feet behind him with a devilish smirk and crossed arms as she quietly watches.

Sasha is almost entirely certain that she just temporarily abandoned her group in favor of a group that was a hell of a lot worse, and so she mumbles an outrageous excuse before darting away from the site

The two that are left hardly notice her absence.

[ REC o ]

"Well, this is a wonderful first day for me," Ymir starts with a smug grin. "A piece of fucking cake."

She adjusts her seat in the confessional before raking a hand through her dirty brown locks. It's clear that she's annoyed by the fact that she has no means of keeping all of the hair out of her face entirely ("Bobby pins are for losers," she had snubbed her groupmate earlier) but she doesn't allow it to distract her from the main point at hand.

"My mission's pretty clear at this point. 'Keep her safe?' I clearly need to keep Mikasa away from Jeanny-Boy over there and that other kid is my biggest competition. Easy enough." There's a mumble offscreen, someone supplying her with a name, and she thanks them silently with another smirk. "Jaeger, huh? Jaeger and Kirstein are the two I'm duking it out with." A shrug. "I can't complain. At least I won't be bored."

Ymir allows herself a cynical laugh. "Three hot-blooded teenagers fighting over who gets to protect some helpless chick. Sounds like a weird, fucked up version of The Bachelorette."

(Behind the scenes, Erwin laughs nervously.)

a/n: i'll be cutting the first part of the episode off here since there's still a lot more to cover and this is starting to get lengthy, haha. unfortunately, i can't guarantee that i'll have the next chapter ready by next friday. i've been keeping myself ahead of the chapter postings by writing some of them ahead of time, and unfortunately, i wasn't able to continue writing from where i had left off. i'm still hoping to update sometime next week, of course. i just can't guarantee friday.

anywho, we finally have some contestant interaction! that's really exciting, right? haha. what do you think of everyone's relationship with one another so far?

and i didn't realize until after i had posted the chapter that i hadn't really clarified how the "voting" thing would work. so i went ahead and added a poll to my profile where you can vote for the contestants that you think are the most interesting at the end of each episode, and each vote will count as one tally mark. voting through reviews is still recommended (that way you can tell me what it was that you liked about the character and i can improve c;) and each review-vote will count as two tally marks. you're allowed three votes per review (though if you end up going a little over that, that's fine too lmao)!

both methods are awesome forms of feedback for me, so i really hope that i get to hear from you guys! c:

thanks for reading! as always, comments are appreciated!

(edited 05/07/2017 for grammar stuff)