Reactions
Christians POV
"But you said it was a big secret and one that you needed to tell Mom and Dad," Phoebe adds. She is oblivious to the fact that Ted doesn't want to talk right now. I become unsettled immediately. What secrets? And how big? But most of all, why is it that my five year old knows that her twenty-three year old brother has a secret, especially from her parents.
"Ted, do you have something to tell us?" I ask uneasily.
"Yes dad, I do" Ted finally admits. He is becoming more and more tenser with each second.
"Maybe we should go inside the room rather than out here in the foyer," Ana says. There are only two rooms up on this level, and I have booked them out, so there is no concern about someone overhearing, but I do accept that a different setting would be best.
Ana takes Phoebes hand and leads her inside our room. I hold the door open for Ted and Lily. Lily is about to walk in before Ted, takes hold of her hand.
"Dad, we want to talk to you both, but not in front of Phoebe" Ted informs me.
"Nonetheless it seems that Phoebe is already aware of your so called big secret" I say angrily.
"Dad…" Ted starts but stops. I know his reluctance to talk is due to the look I am giving him.
"Mr Grey…Christian…." Lily looks conflicted. She can't even remember what to call me, even though I have long since instructed her call me by my first name. "We never told Phoebe anything. She overheard us talking about needing to talk to you and Ana tonight. She was relentless in her questions. Phoebe kept asking us what was going on, so we just told her it was a secret and we couldn't tell her. We both never thought she would blurt it out prematurely." Lily articulates. I look at my watch and note that it already is 9:00pm.
"Ana and I need to put Phoebe to bed. We will be expecting you two, in thirty minutes." I direct. As I close the hotel room door behind me Ana jumps up, from where she and Phoebe have been sitting. She is anxious also about what ted and Lily need to tell us. I know she shares my biggest fear.
"Phoebe, you need to go and get changed into your pajamas and brush your teeth. Your mother and I will be in your room in five minutes to read you a book and tuck you into bed." I instruct.
"But..." She tries to argue, but I am not tolerating any of it tonight.
"Phoebe, I have told you what you need to do. I expect you to listen and follow my instructions" I tell her strictly. Phoebe looks to her mother but finds no support. She frowns and starts to move off. Phoebe is half way to the hotel bedroom when she turns around and faces us.
"I don't think it is fair how I don't get told things" Phoebe's eyes have narrowed, and her lips are thinned.
"Phoebe, pajamas, teeth and bed. You have four minutes now" I scold. Phoebe, now upset turns on her heel and walks inside her room. Ana commences to laugh out loud, when Phoebe has finally entered her room. I cock my head to the side, oblivious to the source of her humour.
"Anastasia, what is funny?" I ask. Ana takes a minute to compose herself. I move closer to her and press her body to mine.
"Our daughter just gave you the same look that you have given to me when you have been… displeased." Ana voice is slightly mocking.
"You like laughing at me don't you?" I point out and ask at the same time.
"At times like this, yes. Yes, I do." Ana admits. My lips form a hard line as my hands move lower and cup her backside. I softly rub the area that only a number of hours ago, I was warming up. With the palm of my hand.
"Are you still sore?" I ask concerned.
"No. I feel fine" Ana states.
"Then later tonight, I will make you sore" I grin. "Very. Very. Sore" I say in between kisses. Ana blushes and I know she too is looking forward to this evening, as much as I am now. However, there is the matter of our children that we both need to address beforehand.
We enter the room that Phoebe is staying in, and she is sitting cross legged and with her hand hands under her chin.
"Okay princess, time to get into bed" I tell her as Ana pulls the covers down. Dutifully Phoebe obeys and gets into bed. Ana pulls out a couple of the children's books that she bought over with her.
"Which story do you want us to read first?" Ana asks.
"Where is Ted and Lily?" Phoebe asks instead of answering Ana question.
"They are in their room. Why don't we read the bear book first" I suggest to Ana and Phoebe.
"What about their secret. They haven't told us what it is yet. You get mad at me if I have a secret and don't tell you what it is" Pheobe remarks.
"Your brother is going to talk to us, but later tonight" Ana starts to explain.
"Then why do I have to go to bed? I want to know what Ted's secret is" She pouts.
"Phoebe it is time to go to sleep. It is extremely late. If you do not go to sleep then you will be too tired to go out tomorrow, and we are all go to Euro Disney. " I remind her.
"I just don't understand why I am never told anything," Phoebe says inoffensively. How do I explain to her that she should cherish this time as a child. A precious time when Ana and I are able to protect her from most secrets in life. My daughters adore my daughter's innocence, and how she sees the world with rose collared glasses. I will do anything to protect it. Though I know all too soon it will be gone, and she will see the world for the way it is.
"Phoebe do you still want a story or do you want go straight to sleep? I can tell that you are extremely sleepy." Ana questions.
"I want a story, but just one, please" Phoebe answers. I lie down next to Phoebe and snuggled up to her as Ana retrieves one of her story books. I kiss her forehead and whisper into her ear.
"I love you princess."
"Love you too daddy." She says softly, and then becomes a little seriously. "When I get older, do I get to know about all the secrets?" She asks. The thing is that I am likely, to always keep information from her, if it means to keep her safe or happy.
"Maybe." I reply. Phoebe snuggles up to me as Ana returns and starts to read the children's book. The combination of Ana's beautiful voice and the cuddles from my daughter are comforting and one of my favourite places. These two women can make me feel more cherished than I have ever felt before.
Phoebe has fallen into a deep sleep even before Ana has finished reading the first book. I tuck her in again and kiss her forehead. "Good night princess. Stay little and special, always."
Ana wraps her arm around me as we watch our daughter sleep.
"She is so amazing, isn't she?" Ana says.
"She is so much like you, so of course she is amazing" I point out, but then my mood changes without choice. "Do you know what Ted needs to talk to us about?" I ask Ana. Ted still tells her everything.
"No idea." Ana says honestly.
"Let's go and find out then" I take Ana's hand and walk out of our daughters room. I can feel my emotions start to boil already as I wonder what Ted and Lily need to tell us. I recall with how much passion Ted spoke about Durfar and everything they have done there. He even asked if the projects can remain part of his work portfolio. What if they have both decided that they want to stay on there? I don't want my son away from me again, and then I would have to deal with Ros in the office. She too wouldn't want to lose her daughter.
All four of us sit on the couch, clutching a glass of wine. Ana leans against me, and it is her close physical proximity that is helping to keep me calm. I feel so out of control at times when it comes to Ted. Damn why was I away for so long out of his life? Maybe if things had been different I would have been able to have more control.
"So Ted, I believe we have waited long enough. What is it you need to tell us?" I ask. My voice is rather demanding. I want him to realise that I need to know what is going on. Ted puts his arm around Lily, and she scoots closer to him.
"Mom and Dad, there are a few things actually. The first relates to the time we have been allocated to the Durfar project" Ted notifies us. I tense up immediately as Ana looks up at me concerned.
"Go on," I say trying to maintain focus.
"I know that we were allocated six months, but it won't do anymore" Ted says.
"Ted, please." Lily pipes in.
"Lily, please. No," Ted says. "Dad we will be going back to Darfur, but instead of only being there another two months, we want to be returned home in one month." Ted states. A sigh of relief takes over me, and I can't help but smile. My son back in Seattle back working at Grey House and seeing him every day. I don't know when I have felt so relieved.
"Done" I state immediately. "It will be good to have you both back. Lily I will let you tell your mothers. I now they will be overjoyed"
"Thank you Christian," Lily says still a little concerned. Her demeanour unsettles me.
"Anyone want some more wine?" I offer.
"Dad there is more." Ted informs us. I become even tenser than before.
"Go ahead, tell us ted" Ana encourages him, when I fail to speak.
"There is a reason why we need to go home" Ted says now swallowing hard.
"Which is?" I probe.
"Lily and I don't intend on getting married in fourteen] months from now. In fact, we plan on getting married a month from when we return to Seattle. We would appreciate some assistance in planning the event actually as we will still be away"
"Of course. Just let us know" Ana states excited. I too would be excited if I didn't have a nagging feeling that something has expiated these events.
"I am happy that you are both getting married. Is there any reason why you are both getting married earlier?" I inquire.
"Yes dad there is" I notice little things now. I notice that Ted has been taking more care of Lily than usual. Ted has constantly asked her if she is okay and comfortable. Lily is also yet to take a drink of her wine, and she only drank water during dinner. She isn't is she?
"Dad and Mom, Lily and I are expecting our first child. Lily is only two months, but I want her back in Seattle and seeing a doctor there. I would prefer for us to return to Seattle straight away, but Lily is intent on us staying at least another month and finalising a few things." It is obvious that Ted isn't comfortable with this idea.
Ana and I take in this new information. A baby? Ted and Lily are going got be parents? We are going to be grandparents? Ana takes holds my hand tightly and gets a little emotional.
"You're having a baby?" Ana asks even though they just said that.
"Yes mom, we are" Ted reconfirms. Ana gets off the couch, and in an instance is hugging Lily and Ted.
"I'm going to be a grandma?" She says in between tears.
"Yes Mom, you are" Ted reconfirms again, and then focuses his attention on me. "You okay dad? You look shell shocked"
"I am a little, but I am happy for you both. I am happy for us all too honest. We get to have you both back in Seattle, and now we get another child in the family. Your grandparents are going to go hysterical. Especially your grandmother." I state
"Hysterical?" Ted asks concerned.
"Hysterical in the sense that they will be over –excited. They missed out so much of your life that they are going to dote over this child. Just think about how much they dote over Phoebe and duplicate it" Ted and I share a smile, just thinking about Grace as a great grandmother.
"Thanks Mom and Dad, we ought to go. It has been a long day, and we both want to go and get some sleep. What time do you want to leave in the morning?" Ted asks.
"9am" I inform them.
# # # #
"Did you enjoy Euro Disney?" I ask Phoebe. She is straining to stay awake.
"Yes daddy" she mumbles tired.
We say good night to Lily and Ted. They both look beat, and Lily is feeling the effects of pregnancy. Actually according to Ted, she has been getting tired a lot lately and had a lot of morning sickness. Inside our hotel room, we put Phoebe to bed and walk back out into the main room.
"I need to answer some emails" I tell Ana.
"You still work too hard," She says pouting.
"As do you Ana. Go and get some sleep. I will be a couple of hours" I inform her.
"Wake me when you get to bed, and I will make it worth your wild" Ana bites her lip strategically and my body reacts. I sweep down and pick her up and carry her to the room.
"Christian! You said you had work to do" She squeals.
"It can wait a few hours."
# # # #
I exit the bedroom, where Ana is now fast asleep, after our rather strenuous love making, and walk towards the den. As I start to focus on some documents that need my attention, I am interrupted by a familiar melody playing on the piano. Bach I believe. They melody is mixed, and as I seek out the source of the perfectly played music, I find my son. I stand and watch him passionately play. He is transfixed on the melody and in his own world. It isn't until he finishes playing that he even notices that I have been listening.
"Dad, sorry. Did I wake you?" He asks a little anxious.
"No. I was on my way to the study to catch up on a few work matters. Is everything okay with Lily?" I ask. Ted is rarely away from her.
"Yeah. She was extremely tired and went straight to bed. I hope you don't mind that I came in here. I wanted to play, and there isn't a piano in the other room"
"Not a problem. I rather enjoyed it. I rarely hear you play, and you are brilliant." I tell him. He is actually better than I ever was. Especially at this age.
"Thanks dad. Though you do know that you arranged and paid for some of most accomplished piano teachers to teach me" Ted points out.
"Then it was money well spent." I praise.
"You need a drink. I will get you one" I tell Ted.
"Why do you say that?" Ted inquires.
"Because of that look on your face. You are worried about something" I say casually, stopped Ted in his tracks.
"Shit Dad, how you do that?" Ted asks put off. I narrow my eyes.
"Do what?" I cock my head to the side.
"How do you constantly know, what I am feeling and thinking. I can't keep anything from you" Ted says annoyed.
"Because I have spent more than thirty years reading people and analysing them in numerous business meetings. Plus I am your dad, regardless of our past, I know what you are feeling, and like it or not you are too much like me!" I am always relieved and overjoyed that Ted doesn't cringe at his comparisons to me, like he once use to.
The nagging thought that has haunted me since we had Phoebe makes a ghostly reappearance. What if Ana and I hadn't been separated for so long? How many other children would we have had? Oh how amazing life would have been. Though the rational part of my brain kicks in and makes me realise that if we had more children earlier, then me probably wouldn't have ever had Phoebe. Now that is a reality I don't want to experience.
"Ted tell me what is bothering you. I should be able to help" I offer.
"No dad, I don't think you can," He says coyly
"Try me"
"Dad, please I don't want to …" I cut ted off, annoyed at his reluctance to talk to me.
"Ted, just tell me." Ted still looks reluctant.
"Tell me now." I order.
"I don't want to talk about it," Ted says angrily. He is standing up now and pacing the room.
"Yes you do. I know for a fact that your room is identical to this one and has a piano. You came here, needing to talk so just do it!" I tell him agitated.
"Fine." Ted says throwing his hands up in the air. "I am scared about becoming a father. I don't know if I can do this. What if I screw it up? What if Lily and I don't make it? What if I… what if …." Ted stops talking. I know what he is thinking. I already know the last part of his question.
"What if you screw up like I did, and you are not part of your child's life? What if you make the same mistakes I made? Right?" I ask the question for Ted.
"Well I wouldn't have put it exactly like that," ted says rolling his eyes.
"Ted there is no need to soften the blow. I accept that I messed up. It is my burden to live with" I explain. I run my hand through my hair. The thought of my actions still impacting on my son unnerves me further.
"Dad, let's not rehash that all that history again. You have done what you can to make up for everything," Ted says to conciliate me.
"Ted, take a seat" I take a deep breath. "Do you understand why I was scared and screwed up so badly, when I discovered your mother was pregnant?"
"Because your birth mother, your need to control and that you were so obsessive about mom" He states a little coldly.
"Yes. I couldn't imagine that with my history and how rejected I had felt as a toddler that I could be a father. The thing is being a father has been the greatest gift. You and Phoebe are the centre of my world with your mother. Having children is scary, but the fear is minor in comparison to the joy you will experience." I explain.
"I just feel rather young." Ted states.
"So I take it this pregnancy was unplanned". I comment. I have let the little white elephant out.
"It wasn't planned. Lily has been taking contra active measures, but she had went on antibiotics for a bug in durbar, and we kind of just took the risk. Then a few weeks later we found out she was pregnant." Ted explains.
"How has Lily reacted to the pregnancy?" I ask.
"She was freaked out at first, took me while to keep get her to calm down. We have known for over a month now, so we have come to grips with it, but still" Ted shrugs.
"It is completely natural for you both to be nervous. You are both going to be parents, it's a monumental step in life, especially when it comes out of the blue, but one the greatest joys in my life are the fact that I have you and Phoebe in my life." Ted still looks a little unsure.
"Do you know why I work the way I do?" I ask, deciding to take a different route.
"Because you re Christina grey, master of the universe and major control freak?" Ted evaluates.
"I once worked endlessly so I wouldn't be poor, then when you came along, I use to work so I could ensure you had the best education, and opportunities. Now that Phoebe is here, I work so she can have every opportunity in the world and that I can ensure you both are safe. I would do anything for you both. I love you both unconditionally. I will love my grandchild unconditionally also, Ted, I promise you, this baby will change your life, and for the better" I reassure him.
"Are you sure?" Ted asks a little uncomfortable
"It did for me, and it will for you. You're a better person than I was. You will be a phenomenal father." I look at him in the eyes, so he knows I mean business. "Plus I don't think Lily would let you be a bad father, and there you always have your mother and I to back you both up." Ted slowly, but surely starts to smile and take this all in.
"I am happy about the baby, even if I am nervous and worried. I want to give the baby and Lily the world. That is why I want us to be married earlier than planned. I want us married when the baby comes into the world"
"You and Lily only need tell us what you want, and we will make the arrangements." I remind him.
"Thanks. I better go and check on Lily. She has been feeling a bit off today, even though she didn't go on any of the rides" Ted says and gets up to go to go to his hotel room. I walk him to the door, and just before he exits the hotel room, he hugs me. I miss the fact that I never got to hug him from the age of five to seventeen.
"Night Dad"
"Night Ted"
# # # #
"Can I have another pancake with syrup?" Phoebe says.
"What did you forget to say?" I ask
"Can I have another pancake with syrup, please?" Phoebe restates.
"Yes you may." I say as I place another pancake on her plate. And purr some syrup on it.
"Thank you daddy"
"You're welcome, and good manners" I praise.
We both hear our Hotel room door close and smile when Ana walks into the dining room for breakfast.
"They are fine," Ana tells me.
"Mommy, Daddy ordered pancakes, eggs, sausages, bacon and croissants. You have to eat it all because he thinks you need to eat more" Ana and I both laugh at our daughter's recount of my earlier words.
"Thank you Phoebe. I am hungry actually" Ana smiles at our daughter but shakes her head at me.
"Who is fine?" Phoebe asks as she puts a large piece of pancake in her mouth.
"Don't talk with food in your mouth, it isn't polite." Ana tells her. We both insist on exceptional manners, but I know Ana is trying to distract Phoebe. She hasn't been told about the baby, wedding or the fact that ted and Lily are moving back earlier than expected. Phoebe increases her chewing pace and swallows.
"Who is fine?" She asks.
"Everyone is" I reply.
"You both aren't going to tell me the truth are you?" Phoebe is sitting with her arms crossed and looking rather dissatisfied.
"Eat your breakfast" I insist.
"I hate being so small, sometimes. You never get to hear anything" Phoebe frowns but resumes eating her breakfast.
A few minutes later, Ted and a rather green looking Lily enter our room. Morning sickness.
"Ted, do you want some breakfast and Lily how about some tea and crackers?" Ana offers. Ted, who doesn't need to be asked twice, has already started to help himself, whilst encouraging Lily to drink her tea and eat the dry biscuits.
"It will make you feel better" Ted encourages Lily.
"Aren't you hungry Lily?" Phoebe asks.
"No. I just don't feel that good this morning" Lily explains.
"But you were sick yesterday too" Phoebe points out.
"I know"
"But what is wrong. Are you sick?" Phoebe probes.
"No," Lily states.
"Then why are you sick?" Phoebe just never gives up.
"Phoebe, stop asking questions. Drink your milk" I admonish her.
"It's not fair. I never get told anything!" She sulks.
"Phoebe, stop it, or you will spend our last day in Paris, in the bedroom" Ana warns. From the corner of my eye, I see Ted and lily look at each other and give each other a knowing nod.
"Mom and dad it's okay. Phoebe can you come and sit on my lap?" Ted asks. Phoebe, who is at times as mercurial as her father, has a large on her face now. She is runs around the table to meet her brother. Ted, with ease picks her and places Phoebe on his lap, so she is in between ted and lily.
"Can you keep some Big, super big and enormous big, secrets?" Ted asks animated. I hold my hand out for Ana to take and once she has I signal for her to sit close to me. I want her to be close when Phoebe is told the news. I want us to experience this memorable moment between our children together.
"You know I can. I didn't tell anyone, besides my doll about the engagement ring" Phoebe replies, making us all grin and smile.
"You kept that secret quite well" Lily praises her.
"Lily and I are going back to Africa today, but instead of staying another sixty days there we are only going for thirty. We are going to be back sooner." Ted informs her.
"Yes!" Phoebe says.
"Plus, Lily and I are going to get married a lot sooner than expected. In fact, we are going to get married not long after we return to Seattle." Ted informs Phoebe.
"So Phoebe that means you get to be the flower girl, earlier. In fact, we are going to get you fitted for a dress as I am too" lily tells her. Ana and I, after being told about their change in plans on Friday evening, and knowing there isn't much time, have set up a meeting with some of the most sought after wedding dress designers. Taylor rushed over the non-disclosure agreements yesterday evening. We don't want news of the pregnancy coming out early.
"I will go and get ready. I am so excited" Phoebe slips off Ted's lap.
"Too excited for another secret?" Ted asks.
"Never. What is it?" Phoebe is jumping up and down. She is beyond excited.
"Lily and I are going to have a baby!" Ted says happily. Phoebe looks confused as she processes the last piece of information.
"What?" Phoebe's voice is low.
"We are having a baby in seven months. You can't see it yet, as the baby is extremely tiny in Lily's tummy" Ted explains. Phoebe stands there, looking deep in thought.
"So Fifi, what do you think of having another baby around." Ted says with a large smile.
"I think it's the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life," Phoebe says and runs into her room.
Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed. Work is terribly busy and there may be one of two error in this chapter, sorry. Hope you review.