Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They're a different breed of dog.
~Josh Billings
Chapter Eight: Resurrecting the Past
Shortly, Remus found himself trekking down the stone steps of the castle, towards the stables. He felt the familiar flip of his stomach as he saw the stable doors, but for once, it had nothing to do with the horses – almost nothing to do with the horses – and almost everything to do with Lily.
Not only did she want him to get on a horse and follow some woman who may or may not have attempted to kill the king into the woods, but he also had to deal with all of her 'stepping closer' and hand-holding. He was going to have to take a more direct approach, and he wasn't looking forwards to it. He had spent all morning using his magic to do his chores because he thought that at this point, getting executed for having magic would be preferable to having an awkward conversation with Lily. Of course, no one caught him though. It was just his luck.
Lily was already waiting for him when he walked through the door, dressed in riding gear and ready to go. "Where have you been?" She said, pausing in her pacing to walk towards him and hit him on the shoulder. "Bella left five minutes ago! We have to leave now or we'll never catch up to her!"
Remus saw Peter walking towards them with two horses and his stomach dropped. "Would that really be such a bad thing?" He muttered, ignoring the glare that Lily sent his way. She took hold of the saddle and pulled herself up, suddenly five feet taller. She raised her brows expectantly at him and he sighed.
"Don't worry, Remus," Peter said with what Remus assumed was supposed to be a calming smile. "This here is my favorite horse in the stable. She's very docile and sweet. Never bucked anyone before."
Remus took a deep breath and pulled himself onto the beast. "There's a first time for everything, Pete." Peter chuckled and then led the two horses to the edge of the stables.
"Good luck." Peter said. "With Bella I mean, not with the horse. You'll be find on this horse, Remus." He pressed his lips together.
"Thanks, Peter." Remus said, digging his heels into the horse as lightly as he could manage so it would follow after Lily's. Lily wasn't finding it necessary to go too slow though.
When they made it to the edge of the city, Remus drew forward to align himself with Lily. "Did you find out anything about where she's going?"
"No." She muttered, twirling the reins in her hands angrily. "I tried, but eventually she just snapped at me for being nosey and told me to go and do her laundry. I haven't the faintest idea what she could be up to that would make her so rude to me. We've been friends for years."
"Are you worried?" Remus asked. "I mean, what if she-"
"You worry too much." Lily laughed. "Or you've been listening to too many of Sirius's tales. I know he doesn't like her all that much, but I'd like to think that after almost six years of working for her, I know her a bit better than he does."
"They are family."
"Yes, but they only knew each other when they were kids. And before Bella lost her sisters and parents. I'm sure she's a lot different than she used to be."
"I'm sure." Remus nodded. They were heading off the main road now, onto a trail that led towards the forest where James and Remus had ran into Sirius. A few moments of silence lagged on while Remus tried to form the next part of the conversation in his head. "Lily I think we need to consider the possibility that-"
"Look!" Lily interrupted. "There she is!" Remus looked where Lily was pointing just in time to see Bella disappear behind a large clump of rocks. "What is she doing all the way out here?"
"I have no idea." Remus sighed, feeling almost disappointed that they had found her.
After a few more minutes of riding, a small wooden house came into view. There was smoke coming from the chimney and there were not one, but two horses tied up out front. Lily all but jumped down from her horse in excitement. "Come on, we have to get closer."
"Lily wait!" He called after her, sliding down from his horse. She was rushing forward, not a care in the world. Remus made sure that the horses were tied to the nearest tree and then ran after Lily. "What are you doing?" He asked, grabbing her arm and pulled her back.
"I need to see what she's doing!" Lily said. "She had to have come out her for a rea-"
"She's meeting someone!" Remus said, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the two horses. Lily looked where his thumb was pointing and then back at Remus with a faint blush on her cheeks.
"Alright, maybe I need to be a bit more observant."
"You think?"
"Bella, you're being careless." A feminine voice came from inside the house. Lily and Remus exchanged looks and then crept up to the edge of the house, both kneeling below an open window. "And cruel. What did King Charles ever do to you?" The voice continued.
"He killed our father, Cissy." Bella spat. "He killed our father and separated us. Have you heard what's become of Annie? Our sister, Andromeda Druella Black, married a commoner." She spat out the word venomously. "A muggle commoner, Cissy!"
"I heard you the first time, dear." Cissy sighed. It was at this point in the conversation when Remus looked over at Lily and saw the look of absolute shock on her face.
"I thought Bella's sisters were dead." Remus whispered, effectively snapping her out of her stupor.
"Apparently not." Lily sighed.
"And besides," Bella sighed, sounding as though she had just kicked at something. "It's not as though I've got any help." Remus couldn't help it, he had to take a look. He looked at Lily and then slowly raised himself to the window ledge.
"I will not help you murder someone." Cissy was blonde and elegant looking, though her delicate brows were drawn together in a scowl.
"He deserves it." Bella snapped, slamming her fists down on the table. Cissy picked up her tea to stop it from toppling over. "You have no idea what he's done! No idea. He goes around killing everyone he thinks has used magic, and he doesn't even realize that most of the time, it's me!" Lily couldn't stop the sharp intake of breath that statement produced, but it went unnoticed by the two sisters. "I have magic!" Bella proclaimed. "I use magic all the time, and do you know what he would do to me if he found out? If he even suspected that I had magic? He'd have my head sliced off like all the others-"
"You don't know that-"
"I do to. He claims that he loves me like a daughter, but you don't see it, Cissy. You don't see the way he looks at James. He never looks at me that way. I'm in his household ot ease his conscious. And I will not let him get off that easily. No, he will pay for what he did."
"You're not thinking clearly, sister." Cissy said softly.
"Yes I am."
"No. What about those poor people who have paid for your crimes?"
"Magic is not a crime."
"Letting people die for something you did is a crime."
"It was me or them." She said flippantly.
"Bella," Cissy sounded disgusted. "You don't have to use your magic."
"It's a part of me, Narcissa. If I can't use it, I might as well be dead."
"You're being overdramatic, and you don't have to get caught if you must use it."
Remus dropped back to the ground. He took hold of Lily's sleeve and gave it a tug. She looked up and he started away from the house. She hurried after them until they were both safely back with their horses.
"What?" Lily asked. "Did you not want to hear the rest of that?"
"I don't know what your exit plan was," Remus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "But I don't think it would be wise for us to be anywhere near that house when Bella decides to leave."
Lily started to argue, but then realized that there was nothing to argue about because Remus was right. He untied their horses and handed her one of the leads. "Looks like Sirius was right." He said.
"You don't have to be so crass about it. She was my friend." Lily said, still confused about everything that she had just heard.
"You're right, I'm sorry." He said, sounding sincere. "What are we going to do about this thought?"
"I don't know." Lily sighed. "It would be our word against hers, and I doubt anyone would believe us."
"James-"
"I know that the two of you are friends, but she is his sister. For every horrible thing that she just said about Charles, she and James are close."
"We have to do something, she tried to murder the king! And by the sounds of it, she's going to try again."
"Maybe her sister will be able to talk some sense into her." But she didn't sound as though she believe that even a little.
"And maybe Sirius will be the next King of Camelot." Remus laughed. He stepped in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders, voluntarily standing near her for the first time in weeks. "She has magic, Lily. She's dangerous and we have to do something about it."
"Erg!" Lily pushed his arms away and pulled her hair back into a bun. "I don't know what to do! Just- just give me a day, okay?"
"What?"
"Give me a day to work out what to do." Lily said, "Give me one day."
"One day? You want me to sit on this information for an entire day?"
"Please, Remus? For me?" Remus looked up to the sky and shook his head, but Lily knew that he would agree.
"I'd do anything for you-"
"Good." She kissed him on the cheek and then took hold of his hand again. "Nothing bad will happen in a day, I promise."
"Alright, let's just get back up to the castle before Bella finds us out here."
OOoOo
Mary, Marlene and Dorcas were leaving the tavern just as Sirius found himself walking in. He slung an arm around Dorcas' neck and pulled her in for a hug. "Dory!" He ruffled up her hair. "I'vnt seen ya in ferever, love."
"How are you already drunk?" Mary asked, looking slightly impressed. "You haven't even entered the pub yet."
"Have too." He said with a nod. "There's another tavern down the road. They kicked me out because I started a fight with the piano man."
"What are you doing things like that for?" Marlene asked. Sirius hadn't met Marlene before now, and was slightly thrown by her presence with the other two girls.
"Who are you?"
"Answer my question first."
"A'ight. He lost a bet and he wouldn't pay me. I 'ad to teach him a lesson. Now who are you and why 'avn't I seen you before?"
"Names, Marlene. Though I doubt you're going to remember that."
"Well, maybe if ya'll come in and have a drink with me…"
"I don't think you need to drink anymore." Dorcas said, finally pulling Sirius' arm off her and stepping towards the other girls. "And maybe it's time you think about not getting so drunk every night too."
"I don't think that's any of your concern." He said, sounding less friendly than he had. "I can drink if I want."
"It's going to get you into trouble one of these days." Dorcas sighed. "That's all I'm saying."
"Well don't." He snapped. "Acting like you've changed so much. You're still the bossy little girl who likes to pretend she knows what's best for everyone but herself."
"Sirius." Dorcas snapped as Mary started laughing.
"Don't 'Sirius' me." Sirius pushed her hand away, stumbling as he did. "You have no idea what I've been through. What I've done. Why I left."
"And you know just as much about me as I do you." Dorcas muttered.
"I'm not the one telling you to change!" Sirius shouted. "If you want to run around and live your life with a few woman following around Lance, then bully for you, mate! Who would I be to tell you otherwise?"
Dorcas was just about to shout at him again when Remus walked up behind Sirius and put a hand on his shoulder. "Evening everyone."
"Oh, don't do that." Mary sighed. "They were putting on a good show."
"Arden came and found me after you punched out the piano man." Remus explained. "Said he was worried about you."
"Arden's so sweet." Sirius sighed, leaning against Remus's shoulder. "And he's got funny hair. I like his hair."
"You're a strange drunk, Sirius. Let's get you back home, yeah?" Sirius agreed and Remus waved to the girls and pulled Sirius away.
"That new girl was pretty." Sirius said as they were walking away. "She had nice hair too. Better than Arden's."
"Marlene? Yes, she's got very nice hair. And a pretty laugh."
"Didn't hear her laugh. Where'd she come from?"
"I don't know. She's staying with Mary and Dory though." Remus said. "Where am I taking you anyhow?" He stopped pulling Sirius along and looked around the darkened street, not at all sure where Sirius had been staying. It was strange to think about because Remus had seen Sirius an awful lot during the last couple of months, and he hadn't once asked where he had been staying, hadn't seen his lodgings or been at all curious about them. He turned to look at Sirius who just shrugged.
"Here's good." He said, nodding towards a shed that had been mostly emptied during the last season of planting.
"What do you mean, here's good? We're not anywhere."
"S'good." Sirius sighed. "Means people will leave me alone."
"Well, I can take you back to wherever you've been staying." Remus said, grabbing Sirius's arm again. "I'm not going to let you sleep on the street like some dru-" Remus stopped quite suddenly and Sirius's gaze snapped over to him.
"No," He shook his head. "It's alright. Say it, everyone does. I'm a drunk. Doesn't matter 'bout anything else. Just the drinking."
"That's not what I meant." He said, trying to think of a way to explain himself to a severely drunk man, but any argument he could think of seemed worthless because Sirius was drunk, and he had been about to sleep on the side of the road.
"Look," Sirius grabbed Remus's shoulders and tried to steady himself. "I've made peace with who I am, and what I've become. You think I- that I thought that this was how things were going to go for me when I was a kid? I was somebody! I had plans. They were all chosen for me, but nevertheless, I had them. I was supposed to be somebody." He scoffed and pushed Remus away from him. "I sleep here sometimes, I'll be fine."
"I'm not going to let you sleep here, Sirius." Remus said, a bit more forcefully than he was comfortable with, but Sirius was drunk and he was fairly sure it was the only way that he was going to be able to get through to him. Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and then jutted out his bottom jaw.
"Then where do you suggest I stay?" He asked, his voice quite clear and calculating for someone who was as drunk as he was.
"You'll stay with me."
oOoOo
After dropping Sirius off at his and Dumbledore's living quarters, he went back outside needing to clear his head and find someone else to talk to. He had been hoping that he would find Sirius sober and he could talk to him about what he and Lily had overheard in the woods earlier that day, but Sirius had been drunk and he didn't know who else he could talk to know. He couldn't talk to James, that was most definitely out of the question, and aside from Lily, he didn't really have any other friends.
He thought about finding Peter for a while, but he had never seen Peter anywhere but the stables and he was sure that the boy had gone home by now.
And that left Lily.
He sighed, because he still hadn't had the conversation that he knew he had to have with her, and he didn't really want to see her again without having that conversation, but he also didn't think he could have both conversations with her in one night, and honestly, the whole Bella situation was taking precedence at the moment.
He worked up the courage and started heading in the direction of her house. When he reached her street, he realized how late it was, because there was no light coming from any of the houses. He figured it was worth a shot anyway and walked up to Lily's house. He peeked in the window, but it was dark so he couldn't see much of anything. He thought about lighting the candle that he knew they kept on their table, but if someone happened to be awake that could cause trouble. He turned away, resigned to waking Sirius up when he got back and attempting to have a very urgent conversation with a drunk person when he heard someone whispering his name.
He spun around and looked back at Lily's house. It still looked the same, quiet and undisturbed.
"Up here, Remus." The voice whispered again. Remus looked up and saw Lily's head peeking out over the top of her roof.
"How did you get up there?" Remus laughed. "Why are you up there?"
"I always climb up here. And I had a feeling you'd be stopping by at some point. Figured I'd wait for you. Though, I thought you'd have come round sooner."
"Had to take care of something first." Remus said, now searching the ground for a way to climb up so he could join her on the roof.
"Use the barrel." Lily said, nodding towards a barrel in front of her neighbor's house. The houses were so close together though, that the roofs almost touched and Remus shook his head.
"Why have you never just moved it over to-"
"It's not our barrel." Lily interrupted. "Now get up here before we wake everyone up." Remus climbed up on the barrel and then he was stumped. The roof was well within reach, but there was nothing that he could grab hold of and pull himself up, there was nowhere for him to put his feet either, He heard Lily giggle, but refused to look in her direction. If she could work this out, than he was sure that he could. She was much shorter than him, and managed to do this in a dress, it should be easy for him.
But he really had no idea how to do this. He looked around the street to make sure that no one was out, and then he looked down at the ground. There was a lone piece of wood lying in the dirt. Remus felt bad for cheating, but Lily was still giggling and being unhelpful and that only fueled Remus's determination to prove that he could get onto the roof as well. He waved his hand up a bit and with it, the board came as well. It halted a few feet above the barrel and Remus wasted no time using it to give him the boost he needed, and within seconds he was on the roof.
As quietly as he could, he dropped the board back to the ground and then jumped over to Lily's roof. "What were you laughing about?" He asked, trying to look genuinely confused. Lily looked surprised.
"I was messing with you." She said, nodding towards the other side of her house. Remus saw the tops of a ladder poking out and tried not to curse himself out. She had used a ladder. He had risked getting caught and she had used a ladder. If he had felt foolish earlier, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. "I'm impressed though. No one's ever been able to climb up that way before."
"Wasn't too hard." Remus shrugged. "How many people have tried though?"
Lily laughed and bumped her shoulder against his. "Bit jealous are you? Thinking you're not the only boy I've had on my roof."
Remus blanched, not sure how to answer that. If he told her honestly that he wasn't jealous, and she thought he was, she wouldn't believe him. If he joked and said that he was, she would believe him, and if he said nothing than it looked like he was too embarrassed to say anything.
Looked as though he was going to get to have that conversation with her tonight, Bellatrix be damned.
"Lily, I think we need to talk."
"I know," Lily sighed. "But I'm still trying to work out what to do about Bella. And you promised you wouldn't say anything." She pushed her hair behind her ear and leant up against his shoulder. "We've been friends for years, Remus. If she was as horrible as she sounded this afternoon, don't you think I would have noticed? That's a really big thing to miss about someone." Remus shifted uncomfortably at her words.
"People can be really good at hiding things about themselves if they want to be."
"You keeping secrets from me?" She asked, looking at him through her lashes, keeping her head on his shoulder.
"Everyone has secrets." He whispered, looking up at the moon. It looked to be a half moon tonight, it was clear though, and he could have counted the stars if he wanted to. "But that's not really what we need to talk about." He said, turning towards her, successfully removing her head from his shoulder without appearing to do so on purpose.
"I had a feeling it wasn't." Lily had a small smile on her lips, and it made Remus even more uncomfortable than he already was. So he decided he should delay a bit longer.
"What do you mean?"
"Remus, I'm not thick. You've been acting strange for a while now. Shying away from me, avoiding my gaze, making up excuses to not be around… Take today for example." She swung her hand out dramatically, as though she was about to set the scene for him. "I asked you what took you so long to get here and you said you had something else to do, but I bet that you were searching for someone else to talk to, and that's why you showed up so late."
"Well," Remus scratched his head, she was half right, but he didn't really want her to know that. "Actually, Arden came and found me. Sirius had got himself into a bar fight. I had to take him home."
"Oh." Lily shrugged. "Well, the point still stands. You wouldn't even stand next to me this morning." It had been yesterday morning too, hadn't it. When James had almost killed him for holding hands with Lily the other day. "Tell me what's on your mind."
Remus took a deep breath and nodded. He could do this. He never had before, and he had no idea how, but he had faith that he could do this. "It's just that I've noticed some things." He cringed.
"You've noticed some things?" Lily repeated, sounding amused. "Well that's always useful." Remus nodded, unable to get his body to do anything more.
"The first thing you have to understand I suppose, is that I think you are the most amazing person I have ever met in my life," He was talking too fast, but he was talking so he was counting it as a win. "I love spending time with you and you make me do things that I normally wouldn't do- which I normally wouldn't like but you make things seem easier and less frightening than they would be otherwise." He, unfortunately, took a peek at Lily right about then and was taken back at her bright expression. It interrupted his momentum and he found that he was, once again, at a loss for words. After a moment of him just gaping at her, she laughed a bit.
"You know, everyone kept telling me I was crazy." She said, still grinning at him. "But I had a feeling that you felt the same way."
"That I felt the same- What?" And before Remus could entirely process what was happening, Lily had leant forward and pressed her lips to his. He sat there, shocked beyond reason and didn't move a muscle. For her part, it didn't take Lily long to notice Remus's lack of response, and she soon pulled away, blushing slightly and looking confused.
"You don't feel the same way…" She trailed off. Remus sighed.
"That's what I was trying to tell you." Remus muttered, dropping his face into his hands and shaking his head. Lily let out another laugh, this one much less humorous than her laughs had been, and then she smacked him over the back of the head. "Ow!"
"What do you mean that that's what you had been trying to tell me?" She smacked him again. "How can you think that saying that I'm the 'most amazing person you've ever met' is you telling me that you don't fancy me?"
"Come on, Lils." Remus scooted away from her, and for the first time since he had the feeling that she fancied him, it wasn't to prevent affectionate physical contact, it was to prevent her from hitting him. "You knew that I didn't think of you that way."
"I knew?" She was laughing again and it was starting to scare Remus. "What do you mean I knew? If I bloody knew, I wouldn't have kissed you!"
Remus flinched and nodded. "Alright, but-"
"If you say that I should have known than I will push you off this roof."
"Just hear me out," Remus said, putting his hands up. This had been a bad idea, a horrible idea. He shouldn't have done this. He should have waited for it to all blow up in his face some other way. Anything would have been better than Lily beating him on the roof of her house. There was a possibility for a lot of damage here.
"Don't make this worse please." Lily deflated a bit and pulled her knees up to her chest.
"Lily," Remus sighed, rubbing his eyelids with the palms of his hands. "You don't fancy me."
"I said don't make it worse." Lily rested her forehead against her knees. "You telling me how I feel constitutes as you making it worse."
"Listen though, because you really don't-"
"I think I might love you, actually." Remus blanched for a moment, but then shook his head and powered through.
"Of course you do. And I love you too, but neither one of us loves each other like you're supposed to when you meet the right person."
"The right person?" Lily asked, peeking over at him. "What does that even mean?"
"You know," Remus shrugged. "The right person, the one that you fall head over heels for. They make you act stupid and forget how to breath and-"
"That sounds horrible and unpleasant."
"But it's not!" Remus laughed. "I mean, I suppose it is sometimes, but normally it's not. I've seen people who are in love, and the way they look at each other Lily," He sighed. "You don't look at me like that."
"I don't want that though." She said after a moment of deliberation. "I don't have time for that. I like you, and I like being with you and that's all it should take. My parents grew up next door to each other and were friends until the day she died. They had a great life. What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing. If you're parents weren't in love and they were happy, than that's great. But that's not what I want. I want to go weak at the knees and trip over myself and be absolutely terrified."
"Well, when you put it like that…"
Remus was quiet, unsure of how he could explain this to her a bit better. "I want to look at someone the way James looks at you." He said at length. "I know you don't fancy him, but you have to have noticed. And that's another thing, you don't fancy him, and his favorite part of the day is still seeing you. He's always making up excuses to why he needs to go see Bella or why we should take the route down through the kitchens even though taking the main corridor is about ten times faster. He acts like a fool and he's always embarrassing me, but… Well you have to notice, no?"
"Is he the reason you're rejecting me?"
"No." Remus said. "What did I just tell you? Love makes you do stupid things. If I was in love with you, I would probably end up getting fired over this. Actually he's more than a little dramatic so he might try and have me banished." Lily smiled a bit.
"I hadn't labeled you a romantic." She said , letting her legs stretch out in front of her.
"You should never put anything less than all your effort into something. That includes relationships."
"Poetic." She looked over at him and tilted her head. "We would be happy together you know."
"For a while, sure."
"You would grow tired of me?"
"You would realize that you missed out."
"No I wouldn't."
"Sure you would." Remus grinned. "We'd be attending a parade one day with our kids and you'd look out and see James and his wife and think, 'well, bloody hell. That could have been me.'" Lily laughed and punched Remus in the arm. He rubbed it, laughing along with her.
"I don't fancy, James."
"Never said you did." Remus said. "I was trying to imply that you would marry him for the crown." She scoffed.
"How dare you make that accusation!"
"What do you mean how dare I?" Remus laughed. "Didn't you tell James that you were going to marry his father for the crown? Why is marrying James for the crown a worse offence?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "The king is old. I wouldn't have to pretend to like him for as long."
"Of course! My mistake."
Lily bit her lip and looked up at the sky. "You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?"
"Are you joking?" Remus asked, trying not to laugh for her sake. He had the feeling it wouldn't be appreciated just now. "James would kill me if he found out."
"He doesn't own me." She muttered.
"No, but I'm his only real friend, Lils. I think it would be well within his right to be upset with me for kissing you."
"I kissed you. You just sat there."
"Still, he would find a way to make it my fault."
"He's a git."
"Nah, he's pretty great actually." Lily raised her brows.
"What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" He feigned innocence.
"Why are you saying that he's pretty great? Are you trying to get me to like him?"
"Of course not! Don't be ridiculous. James is a prat, you know that, I know that-"
"How can he be 'pretty great' and a prat, Remus? You're contradicting yourself."
"James is a contradiction, Lils. He helps me carry his armor to the weapons room, and then holds the door closed behind me so I can't get out. It's just who he is. He's pretty great and a prat. I've learned to accept it."
"Well, I haven't." She let out a yawn and carefully stood up. "Look, I appreciate nearly everything about you today, you being honest with me, and making me laugh, and keeping Bella's secret for me, but I should go to bed."
"Of course." Remus stood up as well. "Do you mind if I use the ladder this time?"
"Still not sure how you managed to get up using the barrel."
"And I'm curious as to who else you've had on the roof now."
"I wish I could hang this over you, but I haven't had anyone on the roof before. No one could ever get up." Remus laughed.
"So I passed your test?"
"Of course you did." She smiled, looking slightly sad. Then she leant over and grabbed the top of the ladder, slowly lowering herself down until both her feet were on the ground. Remus climbed down the first few rungs and then jumped the rest of the way, landing right in front of her.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Of course you will." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Remus nodded and then turned to walk away. "Remus?" He turned back. "I'm really glad that we're friends."
He grinned. "Me too, Lily."
oOoOo
Dealing with a hung over Sirius when he was supposed to be waking up James was not on Remus's list of things he wanted to do. It had been a long night and he wasn't sure if he had got more than an hour of sleep, but he was sure that when he woke up, he was greeted by the sound of retching.
Luckily, Sirius had managed to get most of it out of the window.
"Do you want anything to eat?" Remus asked, swinging his legs out of bed and wishing he didn't have to. The cold morning air never did agree with him much.
"I'm never eating again." Sirius moaned, half hanging out of the window, wearing nothing but his underpants. "Why am I here, anyways?"
"You don't remember me taking you here?"
"You didn't take advantage of me, did you?"
Remus rolled his eyes. He didn't understand how he could still make jokes even when he looked like death. "No. I opened my door and threw you on the floor."
"You didn't even tuck me in or anything?"
"I didn't even get you a blanket. I'm not sure where your clothes went, but when I came back in to go to bed myself, you weren't wearing them."
Sirius pulled himself inside and looked over at Remus, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. "What do you mean when you came back to go to bed? You went out again after dropping me off?"
"Yes." Remus said, unsure if he wanted to let Sirius in on what happened. He had promised Lily he wouldn't tell anyone, but he needed to talk to someone. Sirius might find it funny to tell James though. "You passed out half past seven. I wasn't in the mood to go to bed so early."
"Oh." Sirius let the subject drop, looking oddly ashamed of himself. "You didn't have to let me stay here, you know. I would have been fine."
"I wasn't going to let you sleep on the street, Sirius." Remus said, leaving little room for argument.
"It's not your job to take care of me."
"Of course it is." Remus said sharply. "We're friends."
Sirius contorted his face so that it was void of emotion and then scowled, muttering to himself under his breath.
"Look," Remus sighed, throwing on a new shirt as he did. "I don't have time for your melodramatics. You and I are friends though, and if you need me to help you out, whether you like it or not, I'm going to help you out."
"I can take care of myself." He shot back.
"That's beside the point." Remus shook his head, not understanding why Sirius didn't seem to be getting it. "If the roles were reversed, I'd expect you to do the same for me. Get some more sleep, eat something and then come and find me. I need to talk to you about something." Without waiting for a response, he grabbed his scarf from his bedside table and ran out the door.
James was just leaving his room when Remus finally reached him. "Managed to get ready all by yourself today, did you?"
"Where were you?" James asked, ignoring the implications that Remus was making. "We've got things to do today."
"I didn't know that." Remus replied. "But I was taking care of Sirius. I don't know if you've talked to Arden since last night, but he had me come and collect Sirius after he got into a bar fight. He's currently hanging out of my window retching his guts up."
"Wonderful." James frowned, looking slightly disgusted. "Why does he do that though?"
"Well, he's hung over." Remus shrugged. "I've never been that drunk before, but I have been familiarized with what comes afterwards thanks to Sirius. And Arden come to think of it."
"I mean why does he get so drunk all the time." James sighed. "Never mind, it's not that important. You and I need to get out of here before my father comes looking for me."
"He's up and about then?" Remus asked, glad to hear that the king was feeling better.
"Unfortunately." Despite what Remus had thought, James did not seem glad about his father's recovery. James looked over at Remus and saw the confused look on his face. "He's invited some of our neighbors over."
"What does that mean?"
"He wants me to get married."
For a long while, neither one of the boys spoke and Remus looked at James, quite slack jawed. James took a deep breath and grabbed Remus's arm, pulling him down the corridor.
"He's been mentioning it for a while now, but he's always said that we can wait until I'm ready. But now he's saying that he wants to be there for my wedding and he doesn't know how much time he has left and… I don't want to get married, Remus."
"No, of course not." Remus agreed, still quite stunned to find this out. "So he has people coming here today?"
"Yes."
"How did he set that up so quickly? He was sick only a week ago."
"I don't know. He might have had this in the works for a while now. That wouldn't surprise me. I'm actually surprised that he told me they were coming at all. He's giving me time to escape."
"Escape?" As they had been walking past Bella's room, she rose from one of her fancy chairs, dressed in a dark green gown, and made her way to the corridor. "Whatever would you want to escape for?" Remus almost choked on his tongue when he saw her. He had to admit, she really did know how to play people. If Remus hadn't been in the woods yesterday, if he hadn't heard those things come out of her mouth, he wouldn't believe them. He wouldn't have suspected her any more than he had previously after Sirius had suggested that she had poisoned the king.
And she had magic too. This could be disastrous.
"What are you talking about Bella? Why wouldn't I want to get out of here. Father wants me to marry some stranger so that our kingdom has a queen after he's gone. Don't know why he's so keen on that though. My mum's been gone for as long as I've been alive. He never remarried, the kingdom can survive without a queen."
"I think that's the first time I've heard you talk about your mum." Remus said. "And I'm very disappointed in you."
"He's angry." Bella said, placing a gentle hand on James' shoulder. Remus flinched slightly, his instincts telling him to get James as far from Bella as he could. "Everyone does and says things without thinking them through when they're angry."
"I'm going to run away for the day. You can tell father if you'd like." Remus didn't think that would be a good idea. If she got the king alone she might try to kill him again. He turned to look at Lily and share a look with her before he noticed that Lily wasn't with them.
"Where's Lily?" He asked, unintentionally interrupting Bella. She gave him a look but James didn't seem to notice.
"I meant to ask you the same thing." Bella said, clearing her throat. "She never came in this morning. I still haven't got my breakfast."
"Was she ill yesterday?" James asked, dropping his angry demeanor and looking concerned. Remus refrained from rolling his eyes.
"Not that I could tell." Bella shrugged. The way she had done it though made Remus suspicious that she had Lily tied up in a trunk somewhere in her room though. That might just have been because he knew Bella was a liar and attempting to murder someone. "I wonder what's got her running so late."
"Remus and I will go and find her." James said, pushing back his shoulders and standing up a bit straighter. Bella laughed at him.
"You don't have to preen right now, dear brother. Lily's not around." And even though she was a wannabe murderer, Remus could tell what she was doing right now. She was teasing James good naturedly, because she might honestly care about him. She wanted him to go after the girl that he actually fancied even though she knew the king would never allow for such a thing to happen. And maybe it was because she wanted him out of the way, but maybe it was because she wanted James to be happy. Remus, for some unfathomable reason, wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, even though he was still unsure whether or not Lily was in any danger.
"I'm not preening." James scoffed. "Go down to the kitchens and get something to eat. You're obviously suffering from hunger."
"Oh, James." Bella patted his cheek. "You're hopeless you know. Now, go and find my maid."
"Yes, ma'am." James ruffled her hair, causing her to swat his arm away and then Remus followed him down the corridor.
"So," James sighed, once they finally reached the courtyard and started towards Lily's house. "What did you get up to yesterday? Aside from taking care of a drunk Sirius, that is."
"I was your servant." Remus shrugged, feeling his stomach tighten up. He didn't like keeping so many secrets from James. And he had some big ones. There was the one he was always keeping, that he had magic, then there was the one about his sister trying to kill his father, the one about the woman he was in love with kissing him, and then Sirius's secrets as well. He didn't like knowing things that he couldn't share with his friends. Which is why he needed to talk to Lily and Sirius.
"Hardly." James laughed. "Really though, I let you leave early, what did you do?"
"I told you," Remus sighed. "Arden came and found me and told me that I needed to get Sirius before he threw him in the dungeon."
"You didn't do anything else? Anything fun?"
"Nope." Remus lied. He felt his stomach give another lurch, but it would lurch even more if he were to tell James the truth. Especially when James would punch him in the gut.
"You're so boring without me." Remus couldn't help but laugh at that, given the last twenty four hours that he'd experienced.
"You have no idea." He said, when James looked over at him for an explanation. "Nothing strange ever used to happen to me before I met you." And that was true enough. He had been born with magic, so it had never been strange to him, and everything else had all been James' fault as far as he was concerned.
"You should be more grateful then." Remus laughed again. "Where do you think Lily is and will looking for her get me out of meeting our neighbors?"
"I don't know about that, but she's never been late to work before. She usually stops by Dumbledore's to make sure that I'm not late either."
"Something feels off." James said and it made Remus's stomach lurch yet again. James had good instincts, if he thought something was off, that only made the image of Lily tied up in Bella's trunk even more vivid in his mind.
"Well, let's check her house before we jump to any wild conclusions." Remus said, mostly for himself, but he thought James might benefit from hearing it as well.
"Right, of course."
AN: It's been a while, but it's been a really long month for me so I hope you'll forgive me. Let's just say that this year has kicked me in the ass and I'm really hoping that 2016 will be a lot nicer.
Reviews are the bomb-diggity.