3. Life Lessons
Nexus Shore Leave
To: Tempest Crew [all]
From: Sara Ryder
Hi everyone,
I know we are all looking forward to some relaxation after Havarl. Enjoy your downtime, but remember that you have to report back to the Tempest tomorrow afternoon. Here's the departure schedule for tomorrow:
· Gil, Kallo, Suvi, and myself report to the bridge at 14:00 hrs to go over Maintenance's checklist.
· All remaining crew must be onboard by 16:00 hrs.
· Provided there aren't any last-minute recommendations/repairs, we have been cleared for takeoff at 16:30.
Have a nice shore leave!
Ryder
Poker?
If anyone is up for it, I'm going to be running a little poker game at the Vortex Lounge tonight. Nothing serious. Not high stakes. Just for fun.
[Gil]
[Comments]
^You in, Liam?[Cora]
^^Dunno yet. Maybe? [Liam]
/PM to "Ryder" from "Gil"
^This is called "dangling the bait". [Gil]
^^When I said "for fun", I meant fun for me. [Gil]
^^^Why do you do this?[Ryder]
^^^^For the glory. [Gil]
^^^^^Seriously?[Ryder]
^^^^^^Ok. For the easy credits. Saw a really nice soldering kit I want to pick up next time we're in Aya. [Gil]
^^^^^^^Shame on you, Gil…[Ryder]
^^^^^^^^I promise I'll count my spoils wearing a very contrite expression. [Gil]
^^^^^^^^^Tonight will go down as "The Slaughter at the Vortex". [Gil]
/End of PM
^^^What is this "poker" game? [Jaal]
^^^^Do the Angara have any betting games? [Liam]
^^^^^Yes. Of course. [Jaal]
^^^^^^So, poker is a betting game you play with cards and you can win depending on the cards you are dealt during the game. [Liam]
^^^^^^^Different card combinations are worth more than others. It's not that difficult, but it takes some strategizing. [Liam]
^^^^^^^^And luck. [Vetra]
^^^^^^^^^I would be very interested in learning this game. I will plan to stop by. [Jaal]
/PM to "Ryder" from "Gil"
^Ryder, I'm not buying Jaal's "what is poker" act. Big guy looks like he could pull off a good hustle. What do you think? [Gil]
^^I think you should play nice. [Ryder]
^^^Fine. If Jaal's there, the "Slaughter" will be downgraded to "Spanking". [Gil]
^^^^Rawr. [Gil]
^^^^^Do I need to bring out the training vid on professional behavior in the workplace again? Have you people learned nothing? [Ryder]
^^^^^^^Does that mean you won't be coming? [Gil]
/End of PM
/PM "Jaal" to "Ryder"
^Ryder, I am looking forward to visiting the Nexus. [Jaal]
^^ Yes! I think you will enjoy it. And I bet Tann will have the Cultural Center ready for when you and your fellow Resistance colleagues stop by. [Ryder]
^^^Is the Nexus large? [Jaal]
^^^^It is…and there is a lot to see. [Ryder]
^^^^^Ah, yes. And all of this would take a long time to visit, correct? [Jaal]
^^^^^Yes. So much to explore. [Ryder]
^^^^^^^Then…Would you be willing to show me around? After you visit your brother, of course—and only if you aren't otherwise busy. [Jaal]
^^^^^^^^h'kt;lgn 4509yuht8jy0-]o[kp5il [Ryder]
^^^^^^^^^Sorry: I didn't catch that. I think my translator is malfunctioning. [Jaal}
^Ryder?...Are you still there? [Jaal]
^^YES! I would be delighted to show you around! [Ryder]
^^^So, you need my Pathfinding expertise to ensure you don't get lost on the Nexus? (Ha!Ha!) [Ryder]
^^^^^^^^No. If you believe that, then you mistake my intentions. I merely wish to spend the evening in your company. You are so fascinating…and I am always looking for opportunities to spend any time I can with you. See you soon, my lovely new friend. [Jaal]
/End of PM
Weird Noise
Hey, Kallo—you might want to get Maintenance to check pneumatics in the lower deck while we're on the Nexus.
[Cora]
[Comments]
^Why is that? [Kallo]
^^I just stepped out of Crew Quarters and heard the strangest noise…It was like high-pitched squealing coming from the direction of Ryder's quarters. [Cora]
^^^Strange. I will have the Maintenance crew inspect all the door-sealing mechanisms. [Kallo]
No Hard Feelings
Hi everyone,
Thanks for last night. It was great to see so many of you at the Vortex. Let's do it again sometime soon. Preferably after we all get paid. No hard feelings, right?
Anyway, since it's my turn to share a song, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge the one crewmate who played with the most spirit, with the most tenacity… and who lost the most credits.
Cora, this song is dedicated to you:
Attachment: Gil's Special Song for Cora
Play vid: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga
[Gil]
[Comments]
^HAHAHAHAHAAH! [Peebee]
^^Hahahah! [Vetra]
^^^Now, that's just funny. [Liam]
^^^^Gil, I saw Cora storm past Med Bay towards Cargo looking like she means business. You might be in trouble. [Lexi]
^^^^^Oo! I'd run for cover, mate! [Liam]
^^^^^^Gil's locked himself in engineering. [Vetra]
^^^^^^^Relax. No one's messing up the hair. [Gil]
^^^^^^^^That's not nice, Gil! You kept provoking me and totally set me up last night! [Cora]
^^^^^^^^^All right, Cora. Let me offer you an apology by giving you a pro tip: do you know why you lost last night?
^ Ok. Why? [Cora]
/Tempest audio set to: broadcast. File: "Poker Face" set to: streaming. Audio snippet: "Can't read my, can't read my, he can't read my poker face" set to: loop.
^^That's how I'd like to go someday: trounced by a biotic huntress that I'd provoked with a little dance and lip-synching. [Vetra]
^^^WHATS THAT NOISE ARE WE BEING ATTACKED [Drack]
^^^^Everything's fine, Drack. Gil's just being Gil. [Lexi]
^^^^^DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO LOUD ABOUT IT[Drack]
^^^^^^Speaking of loud, why are you yelling? [Peebee]
^^^^^^^IM NOT I FORGOT MY DATAPAD AT KESHS OFFICE AND NOW IM STUCK WITH THIS ONE THIS KEYBOARD WASN'T DESIGNED FOR KROGAN HANDS IM GETTING PISSED OFF THE BUTTONS ARENT WHERE THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE AND NOW I [Drack]
/"Drack" is offline
^Ok, guys. Settle down. We'll be reaching Eos soon. [Ryder]
/Tempest audio set to: default settings. Manual override. Permission: "Kallo"
^^These Earth vids are perplexing in their surrealism. [Kallo]
^^^I know. Nobody was dancing like that at our poker game. [Suvi]
^^^^I am curious: when you bet at poker, you can use things other than credits? [Jaal]
^^^^^Sometimes. People are known to put up their possessions in some cases. [Vetra]
^^^^^^Even baked goods? [Jaal]
^^^^^^^Huh? [Liam]
^^^^^^^^At least, that's what my translator is saying about one of the lines in the song. A… "muffin"…That is a baked treat, correct? [Jaal]
/ Welcome to private InfoBoard Chat Channel "Tits and Ass" moderated by "Peebee" and "Gil"
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA[Peebee]
**HAHAHAHAHAHAH![Vetra]
**Oh my goddess. [Lexi]
***I can't breathe! [Gil]
****Wow, Gil. Look at what you've started. [Cora]
***** Let me go make it better. [Gil]
^I believe you are referring to the line, "bluffin' with my muffin"? [Gil]
^^Yes, that's correct. [Jaal]
^^^You know what? The Pathfinder is the most qualified person to explain the meaning behind that. [Gil]
/ "Gil" is offline
/ "Peebee" is offline
/ "Vetra" is offline
/ "Liam" is offline
/ "Cora" is offline
/ "Suvi" is offline
/ "Kallo" is offline
/PM from "Jaal" to "Ryder"
^This is another one of those 'idioms', isn't it?... [Jaal]
^^I'm sorry. Everyone is being very immature. [Ryder]
^^^By the way, I had a wonderful evening last night. Thank you. [Jaal]
^^^^I'm glad you enjoyed visiting the Nexus. I wish I were a better poker teacher, though. I feel terrible that we lost so badly… [Ryder]
^^^^^ I had your excellent company for the entire evening. That's hardly what I understand as 'losing.' [Jaal]
^^^^^^^That's very sweet of you to say, Jaal. [Ryder]
^^^^^^^^But getting back to the idiom: What does "bluffin' with my muffin'" mean? I'd like to understand your culture better. [Jaal]
"I need you to tell me something, SAM."
"Yes, Pathfinder."
"Can we jettison Gil into space and make it look like an accident?"
"I don't—"
"Nevermind: I was just venting. And wallowing in dread. Can't wait to meet Evfra again after Jaal reports on all the useful things he's learned on the Tempest."
^^^^^^^^^It's not an idiom as much as it is slang. [Ryder]
^^^^^^^^^^Ah, yes. I was told slang can be difficult for translators at first. [Jaal]
^^^^^^^^^^^Yep. [Ryder]
^^^^^^^^^^^^So… What does it mean? [Jaal]
^Humans have all these terms that allude metaphorically to different parts of our anatomy. [Ryder]
^^Ah. I think I understand where this is going. [Jaal]
^^^And a 'muffin'…It's just slang for a woman's intimate... [Ryder]
^^^^You know: sexual parts. [Ryder]
^^^^^I see. Thank you for explaining this to me. [Jaal]
^^^^^^ Really stupid, right? And the crew thinks it's hilarious. [Ryder]
^^^^^^^No, it actually sounds quite poetic to me. [Jaal]
^^^^^^^^Sorry? [Ryder]
^^^^^^^^^We Angara also refer to different parts of our lovers as delights to be savored slowly. [Jaal]
^^^^^^^^^^Good night, my dear Ryder. [Jaal]
/End of PM
"SAM."
"Pathfinder."
"Can you do the equivalent of opening a window for me? I'm feeling a bit faint."
"Of course. I can activate the environmental controls in your quarters."
"Thank you."
"Are you feeling better?"
"Yes, yes...I'll get off the floor in a minute."