A/N: So I've had writer's block for a while and this is the only thing I've written since it struck. I'm struggling with my WWII fic and another story that just kind of fell out of my head. It's all slow going. Pray for my creativity to strike. Let me know what you think. XOXO

Fitz almost faltered in his speech when he looked up and saw her at the back of the room, staring at him. It had been weeks since he'd seen her, weeks since they'd spoken, weeks since he'd held her. He wasn't sure what to make of her presence or the look on her face. She looked like she'd missed him, like she wanted him back. Olivia wasn't sure what to think or how to feel as they stared at each other. Every time his eyes flickered to hers, something broke a little more inside her, making it increasingly harder to breathe. She had been sure she was making headway getting over him, that she could feel herself growing attached to Jake, but looking at Fitz as he looked at her threw everything into a conflicting whirlwind. He finished speaking and his eyes lingered on hers as he left the stage. Olivia's throat burned as he stared at her. She felt herself backing out of the room as her vision blurred with hot tears. She hurried down the hall and slipped into a broom closet whose door was ajar. She pulled the door closed then leaned against an unoccupied corner, sobs erupting from her body.

Olivia wasn't even sure why she was crying. She had left him. She had been the one to hurt them both. She didn't deserve to cry when it was her who had done the damage. Fitz walked out into the hallway and looked for any sign of her. He was a few steps beyond the broom closet when he heard her sobs. He walked back to the closet door and paused, his hand on the knob. She had left him. She had moved on. She didn't want him anymore. He shouldn't have cared, shouldn't have felt love well up in his heart when he saw her. He shouldn't have been concerned with why she was crying in a broom closet. That was Jake's department now. He almost turned and left, but his feet wouldn't move. His hand wouldn't let go of the doorknob. He opened the door and slipped into the closet, locking the door behind him.

Olivia sat on a bucket, her head in her hands, sobbing unabashedly. He frowned. He had never seen his mighty Liv so broken. "Liv…"

She didn't look up at him, just shook her head. She had burned down their world of dreams. She didn't deserve his pity. She had feelings for Jake, however small. She had betrayed him by falling for someone else after promising to wait for him. She whimpered, "Don't… Please."

Lead me on girl if you must

Take my heart and my love

Take of me what you need

He walked over and pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her little body. Olivia breathed in his scent. Being close to him never failed to pull her apart. She wondered how she could ever have given him up. Then she remembered that he wasn't hers and fresh tears welled in her eyes. Fitz's lips rested on the crown of her head. He relished holding her, knowing that it could be the last time. Her hands clung to his shoulders and he realized that he had broken her. He had turned his beautiful, strong Livvie into a hollow paper doll version of her former self. He had only meant to love her, but he had been selfish and heavy-handed and pushed too hard. He had ruined her.

"Livvie I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he croaked. His stomach churned with regret. Olivia wondered what he was sorry for, what he thought he had done to her. He went on, "I pushed too hard. I broke you. I'm so sorry."

"Fitz…" Her voice was so little, so devoid of its usual strength that he almost broke down too.

"No, baby, don't," he pleaded, cutting her off. "I won't push anymore. I feel like I'm tearing you apart. I shouldn't have asked so much. I just… I loved you so much. I couldn't help myself."

"I left you," she replied. "I'm so sorry. I'm so awful." She looked up at him. "You said 'loved.' You don't love me anymore?"

"Of course I do!" he implored, his voice cracking. "Nothing in this world will ever make me stop loving you. I love you unceasingly. I need you desperately. I think about you constantly. But you're falling apart, baby. You're wilting, Livvie. So I'm taking a step back." He caressed her face. "It's my turn to wait for you." He took her face in both hands. God, he loved her face. He dreamt of it often, tossing and turning and calling out for her. "You call me and I'll come running. I promise. Whenever you're ready, wherever you are, whatever the circumstances. Call me and I'm there. Okay?"

She couldn't believe it. She had left. She had ruined him. But he was there for her like always, her white knight. She stared at him, her heart in her throat. "Okay."

And if there's a thing that you need

I'd give you the breath that I breathe

And if ever you yearn for the love in me

Fitz planted a single chaste kiss on her lips, lingering for a heartbeat, then left the closet in search of the men's room. Tom cleared it of everyone, casting a concerned look over his shoulder at his bleary-eyed boss. He had just shut the door when he heard Fitz wretch and empty his stomach's contents in one of the toilets. It was rare that he felt genuinely bad for anyone but he actually wanted to hug Fitz. Tom hoped he and Olivia made up. If not, the agent wouldn't have been surprised if they both died of broken hearts like animals who'd mated for life.

Whenever

Wherever

Whatever

In her apartment, Olivia stood under her shower head's warm outpouring, letting her tears mingle with the water. He had let her go, given her wings. She was free. It should have felt magical. But it didn't, not even a little. She finally turned the water off and got out of the shower. She dried off and went to sit on her bed, pulling her yellow robe tight around her. She stared at her phone. She scrolled through her contacts and stopped on his number. She pressed the CALL icon and put the phone to her ear. Each ring made the knot in her stomach tremble.

"Hello," he answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey." She tried to sound happy and light, but the weight of her heart pinned her down dismally. She got up and padded to the kitchen, intent on having a glass of wine, or maybe a few bottles, whatever made her feel less like curling up and dying. She opened the freezer, searching for the grapes she always kept chilling to keep her wine cold, and found herself staring at a pint of Fitz's favorite coffee ice cream. She took it out of the freezer, decided she should eat it since he would never again show up at her door unannounced with a grocery bag full of junk food.

On the other end of the line, Jake wondered why Olivia was so quiet. She sounded like she had lost her best friend. He asked, "You okay, Liv? You need something?"

"No," she answered as she took the top off the ice cream. The ice cream was half-eaten because he never finished it. Olivia had lost count of how many half-empty cartons she'd thrown away. She frowned, realizing she would never do it again. She sat on a stool next to her granite-topped island, her even breathing the only sound in the room. She and Fitz spent forever just breathing on the phone. She and Jake chattered constantly.

"Liv?" Jake's voice blurred Fitz's face in her mind. "You're freaking me out."

"Sorry. It's just been a long day." She sighed as she dug her spoon into the ice cream. She took a bite and tasted Fitz's mouth. Tears pricked her eyes but she blinked them away. She'd done enough crying for the day. She said, "I'm having the best ice cream right now."

"What?" Jake wondered if she was drunk, or if she'd finally snapped. She was always so tightly wound that he figured a meltdown was inevitable.

"It's coffee flavored," she replied, taking another bite.

"Oh. I don't like coffe," he said back, unsure of what else to say. Fitz loved coffee, with a splash of milk and lots of sugar. Olivia took her coffee black with two sugars. They could never agree on whose was better.

Olivia tried to think of something to say to him but there were no words. She wanted painful, devastating, life-changing love, to be shaken to her core. Jake was nice, and before Fitz—before she knew what it was to love someone so gloriously, tragically, desperately, miserably that she couldn't think of anything else—he would have been perfect. He skirted the walls of her heart without disturbing them. Fitz had crashed through the barriers like a wrecking ball and hadn't stopped tugging at her heart strings until he'd rubbed her deliciously raw. But she could have Jake. Fitz belonged to someone else. She lived in constant conflict between settling for what was available and risking everything for something that might not be hers in the end. She sighed and said, "Goodbye Jake."

"Oh. Um, bye Liv," he replied, surprised by her abruptness. He hung up, not knowing that it was their last conversation. Olivia knew that even if she didn't end up with Fitz, she'd never end up with Jake. Whomever she ended up with would be someone who made her chest explode with love. She took the ice cream and wine to the couch. She was drinking straight from the bottle, something she never did. She stuffed herself with ice cream, watching Hell's Kitchen, Fitz's guilty pleasure show. She couldn't deny that she missed him terribly. The world was entirely too quiet without him around.

Wish I knew if I could

Be the one that you would

Love forever and a day baby

Fitz sat on the floor in the Oval, looking around the office. Nothing mattered anymore. Mellie walked in and saw him then quickly walked back out, telling everyone to leave him alone. She had never seen him looking so broken. She knew there was only one person who could cause him such grief. But she was done trying to mend his broken pieces when she wasn't the one who tore him apart. Fitz didn't even look up at the sound of the door. He just stared at the window, the frame of which he had leaned Olivia against and kissed her wholeheartedly. It all seemed so far away from him now.

Olivia lay in her bed, the blankets pulled up over her head. She couldn't sleep. She had never felt something so strong, absolute grief. She pushed the covers back and rolled onto her back, sighing. She pulled open the drawer on the nightstand and took the phone out, the phone she hadn't used in so many weeks. She dialed the only number saved in it, the number to the phone that matched the one clutched in her fist.

Fitz heard the vibrations of the phone in the secret drawer where he kept pictures of her. He pulled himself to his feet, moving in a haze of half-drunken confusion. He had emptied the Oval's tumbler of Scotch, trying to numb everything. He pulled the phone from the back drawer and stared at it. It was really ringing. She was really calling. He answered and held the phone to his ear, content with just hearing her breathe. Olivia clutched the phone, listening to his jagged breaths like they held the secrets of the universe.

She finally said, "I ate your ice cream."

"It's okay," he replied. Everything was okay if she was talking to him.

"I broke your heart. I left you," she admitted in a small voice. "I ruined you."

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. You shouldn't love me anymore, shouldn't want me, shouldn't forgive me."

"You always forgive me, Livvie." He wondered where the conversation was going. He hoped she wasn't calling to tell him to stop waiting for her. He would promise to stop if that was what she said, but he wouldn't. He would wait for her forever. His last breath would be used to call her name. On the other side, he would find a bench if heaven had any, and he would wait there for her too.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was so soft and earnest. She had never been so sorry for anything.

"It's okay." He would forgive anything she did. He loved her beyond logic and reason, and she loved him just the same if not more.

"Whenever, wherever, whatever, right?" she asked, hoping he'd meant it when he said it.

"Right." He was already on his feet, headed for the door.