Authors Note: Since there has been a lot of angst in this story, I thought I would add a warm and fuzzy in the form of a flash and some lemons before the angst starts up again near the end of the chapters. Apologies for some small errors, this heat is getting to me.
What Love Looks Like.
Phoebe's POV:
I grab my cell phone and ring Joshua's sister. He always talks to her, and she will know the answers to my questions. If I know what has happening, then maybe I can fix this. She answers the phone and tells me everything. Sadly, it isn't much, but it is enough to help me make my next I am in
I sigh as I look around the apartment. My apartment now, not ours. When I moved in here after living at my parent's house my whole life, minus my college years, it felt small. But now it feels too big and empty. Our combined love and passion for each other filled it.
I lean against the wall and slide down until I am sitting down with my legs bent with my arms wrapped around them. Tears flow freely down my face. I start to lose myself. I don't know where right or left, up or down is. I don't know how long I sit there motionless when my phone beeps. I scramble for it, optimistic for something. An email. I open it and close my eyes, yes it is from Josh. My world has stopped moving. I tentatively open it, knowing it holds the key to my future.
To: Phoebe Grey
From: Joshua Harris
Subject: Words will be never being enough.
Dearest Phoebe,
You are truly one of the most magnificent creatures ever to walk the earth. You are everything. The time that I have spent with you is now my most treasured memories. No one has loved me and made love to me like you ever did, and no one will ever take your place in my life. No other women will ever compare to you.
Please understand that leaving you was the hardest thing, I have ever done. I never wanted to hurt you. I only wanted to love you. However, you being with me would only hurt you more than ever. I don't want to hurt you. I know that now. I should have known that a month ago, but I was greedy.
Please don't chase after me. New York is not your home, and you will not be happy here. It would be cruel to ask you to stay here with me. Seattle is your home. You family is there, and they love you. They love you so much. Accept their love once more. They need you just as much as you need them.
Do not focus on why I left. It simply doesn't matter. Your future does. Make me tremendously happy, by being extraordinarily happy.
Forever yours,
Joshua Harris
As quickly as my world stopped when I discovered I received an email from Joshua, it has crumbled when I finish reading. I feel as if I am in perpetual darkness. I force myself to get up, knowing that I know have a few matters to deal with now, today.
# # # #
I examine the walls around me and take them in. I have no idea when I will ever return, if ever. I use to love this place, it was my destiny. I even grew up here in a way. Even though I am leaving this place, I recognize that part of me will be lost in here forever.
I pack up the last few things I want to take with me. There are two more things which I need to decide if I want to take or not. I sit down and look at them both, unsure of what to do. One is a framed picture of my whole family. I remember when this picture was taken. It was at my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary party. Which explains why we are all dressed to the nines? Damn this photo is over ten years ago. The anniversary celebration was such a big affair. There were hundreds of people in attendance, and many influential people.
Ten years ago: Anniversary party.
"Aunt Mia, are you sure my Dad isn't going to get upset?" I query. My aunt Mia offered to do my hair for the Anniversary party, to which my parents agreed to. They thought that she couldn't do too much harm there. Aunt Mia is best defined as a fifty year old woman who never aged.
"Of course they won't get upset. Your hair looks stunning! And you have very little makeup on any way" She replies. My hair is half up, and tied with a white ribbon, and the rest of my hair has been curled. It looks rather pretty actually. I also have a little bit of blush and lipstick on me. Dad and Mom think I am too young, but I am excited that I have makeup on. The last time I had any on was over five years ago at my brother's wedding, and that was only because I was in the bridal party.
"Aunt Mia, I am not talking about my hair or makeup, though Dad is going to make me take it off I bet, I am more talking about my shoes." My aunt Mia had bought me a pair of white dance shoes that have a heel.
"Oh Phoebe, I was wearing those of shoes when I was much younger than you" She replies.
"Yes but your father was Carrick Grey, not Christian Grey" I point out.
"Very true. After you have put on your dress, go and see your parents and get their okay. I need to get changed or else I will be late and will miss out on the whole family photo. Then you will see how my Dad, Carrick Grey can be much more like Christian Grey." I remind her. Aunt Mia laughs, and I can't help but do the same. She has an extremely addictive laugh.
I knock on my parent's door and let them know it is me. My father opens the door and smiles at me, but then thins his lips at me. Guess he noticed the makeup. "Hi Daddy, do you like how Aunty Mia did my hair?" I ask, entering the room and going over to my mother. She is finishing putting on her makeup, and I smile when I notice she has new earrings. Dad often buys her new jewellery. My Mom is extremely pretty and looks gorgeous in her dress, makeup and her hair done. I want to look like her when I grow up.
"You look very pretty. Your grandparents are going to be extremely proud of you" My mother tells me with a large smile.
"We are very proud of you too, and do you know what will make me even more proud of you?" My Dad bends down to face me.
"No. What?" I ask.
"Close your eye" he requests and I obey. I feel a cool piece of cloth on my face. I know that my father is taking off the makeup my aunt put on me.
"DAD! It was the smallest amount of makeup." I tell him pouting.
"Yes, but you look prettier without it, and I don't approve of you wearing makeup at your age." My father states and is backed up by my mother.
"I can accept that, but then I should be allowed to wear these shoes. Aunt Mia gave them" Both my parents examine the shoes.
"Where are you white dress shoes?" My mother asks
"In the spare room, but these shoes are white also." I emphasis.
"With a heel" My mother states.
"Please can I wear them? I am eleven now, not five." I say a touch dramatically.
"Phoebe I will make a deal with you. You can wear those shoes, but no dancing with boys tonight. My father says half serious and half joking.
"With the exception of you, Ted, Uncle Elliot and Grandpa Right?" I say tilting my head slightly.
"Sounds about right. Actually, no dancing with boys ever!" My father says kissing my forehead.
"I am going to live at home forever and never have a boyfriend if you have anything to do with it Dad," I remark.
"I do like the sound of that." My father says making fun of me.
"Mom! Please help me" I appeal to her. My mother turns to face me and takes both my hands into hers.
"Phoebe, your Dad doesn't honestly mean what he is saying. You are just his little girl, and he loves you very, very much. We just want you to be happy, and one day you are going to find someone that you are going to love, very much, and he will love you, very much. Then Mom and Dad are going to be so happy for you." I absorb every word my mother tells me, but there is one thing I don't understand.
"How will I know if he loves me? Boys are weird" I query.
My father pulls a chair up and sits next to my mother. "I think this is a question for me. Phoebe you will know if he loves you because he is going to treat you like you are the most remarkable person in the world, he won't be able to smile unless you are with him, or he is thinking about you, and he would give up everything to be make you happy" My father explains.
"Okay, but I think there must be more to it than those three reasons." I assess, tilting my head to the side. My father grins.
"Yes there is, and one day you will just know. But hopefully that is not for a long time. Now we better get downstairs for this whole family photo taken and then go to the party." My father smiles.
We are all seated at our tables as my grandparents are called to the dance floor. They are going to have one dance alone, and then family members are going to be called up. The music starts and my grandparents elegantly take to the dance floor. I watch them as they dance and look at each other. Their focus is only on you each other, and it is as if everyone else isn't here. The song comes to an end, but they don't stop. The adult members of my family join my grandparents onto the dance floor. I watch my mother and father, and then look at my uncle Elliot and Aunt Kate and then Ted and Lily as they all dance slowly. It was magical.
There and then I knew how you could tell how someone loved another person completely. I got to see it, in droves, that night. After that night, I started to notice it every day at home with my parents, with Ted and Lily, my grandparents, Uncle and Aunts and then later, Ava and Marcus. I know I had it with Josh, and my heart aches so much. Without ever intending to my mother lied to me before the anniversary party started. It is now the only lie she had ever told me, because when I did find someone that I loved very much, and he loved me, my parents were not happy for me. I have to face the fact that more than likely they are responsible for Josh leaving.
The second photo is of Josh and me. With my finger, I trace his distinctive jaw line. We are looking at each other with the same love with him that I witnessed each time I saw a family member with their partners. The photo was taken on a blanket in our apartment, and there are flowers scattered around us. We made love that day. It was perfect, and I am so glad that we waited. It was one of the most romantic days of my life.
Under Three months ago.
I say goodbye to my girlfriend, Caris as I head off to my car. I feel extremely relaxed, strange after the last few weeks. Joshua organized for us to go to a day spa today after I got home from going to see Ros for her birthday, and then accidentally running into my parents at the elevator. At least the relationship with my mother isn't ruined. I genuinely wanted my Dad to greet me like he used to, even offer me a smile. Something. I know that I am not going to please him with current choice of boyfriend, so I have decided that I will just have to focus at improving our relationship with work. Thankfully I have a couple of brilliant ideas up my sleeve that will have to make my father take notice.
I return to the apartment around five, and there is soft music playing. In walk into the kitchen and find Josh setting up a rather elaborate antipasto plate with some wine. To his side is a plate of fruit. He looks so relaxed in his pale blue buttoned shirt and jeans, though is concentrating so hard on his task.
"Hi," I say softly. He looks up, and his eyes sparkle, making me fall in love with him all over.
"Hi. I made us some dinner." I slowly walk towards him and run my hand down his jaw. I want him so badly.
"I can tell. It looks terrific" I praise
"I wanted to cook something, but I was scared of burning our new home down" he jokes.
"Yes, I don't think our neighbors in the building would be too happy about that one."
"And since we live in an apartment building, and don't have a backyard, I thought we could have a picnic dinner by the window, overlooking the city." I follow Josh and discover that he has been busy. On the floor is a blanket with roses and other various flowers scattered around so it almost looks we are in a garden.
Josh first passes me a glass of wine and then offers me some food. We sit, eat, drink and talk about everything and nothing. After about an hour, we finish and put the trays to the side.
"That was wonderful. Thank you" I tell him.
"You are incredible. I am glad they didn't put on a whole bunch of makeup on you at the day spa, this way I get to see your true beauty" I smile shyly and then lean over to kiss Josh. His lips and hands feel so right as the touch me, everywhere.
"I want you to dance with me" He requests, and then goes over and plays with his iPod until the music starts to play. I recognise it immediately, 'All the way' by Frank Sinatra and Celine Dion. Slowly we dance and move around the room, never taking our eyes off each other. That is when I feel what I saw so many years ago, when watched my family members dance at my grandparents wedding anniversary. Perfect and honest love. The song comes to end, but we don't let go of each other.
"Josh, I want you to do something for me".
"Anything" he replies.
"Make love to me" Josh inhales deeply and looks me.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." Josh sweeps down and picks me up, and carries me into our bedroom, putting me down besides our bed.
"I just need a minute" I request. I go into my walk in robe, to put on the lingerie I had bought for this precise occasion and then covered it with my silk robe. When I exit my wardrobe, I find that Josh has dimmed the lights, and he is playing around with his iPod again until the song 'Unchained melody by the Righteous Brothers" comes on.
Josh walks to meet me and starts to kiss me softly then passionately. I need and want him and respond by kissing him back with the same ferocity.
"Are you sure you want to do this? I can wait" Josh asks to make sure I am ready.
"I want you. Now" I confirm
"I love you Phoebe. I want to take this slow. If you feel uncomfortable or in pain or anything, just tell me. I want this to be special." Josh declares.
"It will be because I am with you." I start to unbutton his shirt and expose his chest, before undoing the button on his jeans and undoing the zip. His pants slide down, allowing me to touch him properly for the first time.
"May I?" Josh asks to grasp the silk tie of my robe. I nod slowly. He gently pulls the tie and then glides the robe off my shoulders. "Oh Phoebe. You are so beautiful" he moans, obviously liking what he sees. Josh moves his hands slowly down my body as if making a mental image of me and picks me up to lay me on the bed. His fingers pull the satin ribbon bow on my Flyaway-front lingerie, exposing my breasts.
I allow my hand to roam his chest. It was marvelous. I wanted to kiss his chest all the way down, and I was now getting anxious.
"Touch me." I take his hands and place them on my body.
"Nothing would make me happier. I want to kiss every part of you." Josh first starts on my lips and then moves to my neck, then my chest, stomach only stopping when he reaches my matching thong. I feel an incredible sensation as he leans down and place his hot mouth over my nipple and sucked hard while his fingers ran over the edge of my underwear. My eyes close as I moaned softly as I arch my back as the sensation grows.
In a monument of confidence, I reach down and pull off his boxer shorts, exposing him, and he was growing. Is that even going to fit into me?
"I will be gentle." Josh whispers into my ear. I start to stroke him, feeling him grow even further.
Josh hooks on finger into my thing and pulls it down. I then feel his fingers at the apex of my thighs, and then inside of me. Sensation started to build up, and I could feel how wet I already was.
"I want you, now" I manage to verbalize. I am so glad that I went on the pill months ago now as I honestly want to feel all of him inside of me right now. Slowly he enters me and then stay there, letting me get acclimatised and never taking his eyes off me.
"Are you okay?" He asks to make sure I am not hurting,
"Yes. Move, please." I beg of him. Slowly he starts to move, and the feeling is exquisite. As I start to moan and tighten around him, he starts to move quicker, never taking his eyes off me. My body becomes all sensation, and gloriously I climax as does Josh.
"I love you Phoebe."
"I love you too"
Afterwards, we both lie on the bed, with the soft romantic music still playing in the background. Josh has held me ever since we finished making love, and doesn't let go until morning.
I shake off my thoughts of the past and bring myself back to the here and now. I feel lost. I have lost my perfect family, and the man I love. Angrily I stop feeling sorry for myself, and refuse to allow myself to grieve. I am too mad. I walk out, with my belongings, and head to my last stop over for the day.
Christians POV:
I pour Ana a glass of wine and sit next to her on the couch. The only family left after our first spring barbeque, are Ted and his family. We offered to look after Macie while Lily took a nap, and Ted spends some time with the twins in the pool. Ana is patting Macie as she tries to coax her to sleep.
"Is she even close to sleep?" Ana inquires.
"No, give her to me. Maybe some grandpa cuddles will do the trick." My precious granddaughter cuddles up to my chest. I feel so much peace whilst I also feel a stab on pain.
"Phoebe use to cuddle up to me like this as a baby." I murmur, and without me realizing it, I start to feel tears run down my face.
"I thought maybe she would come today. Even Grace mentioned it to Josh, and said that he would persuade her to come" Ana informs me. I knew Phoebe wouldn't come, especially after I explained why I couldn't give her suggestions the time of day work. I haven't told Ana about what happened yet.
"You need to try and talk to her, amicably. Forget how much you dislike her being with Josh and talk about something else. Talk about work. I know she has been working extremely hard with Ros. There has to be a lot of common ground there." Ana encourages me.
"I doubt that she would want to talk to me about that either." I complain, but know that this is my fault now.
"Christian, I thought you were over thinking the worst of everyone, including yourself." Ana states.
"This time I have more than enough reason to believe so." I say reflective. Ana looks at me curiously, and I know that I will have to account for my words at work, and I know this is likely to end in an argument to some extent. I put my little granddaughter down in her rocker, now finally asleep. Macie shouldn't be disturbed by the disagreement her grandparents are about to have. I turn on the baby monitor and walk to the kitchen with Ana.
"I can't talk to Phoebe about work matters right now. She confronted me and asked me why I had been rejecting the projects she had a significant role or suggested at Grey Enterprise, and I told her it was because I didn't trust her judgement anymore" I confess to Ana, who has covered her mouth with her hands.
"You can't operate Grey Enterprise like that! You need to look over the projects Phoebe has been working on. She has been working so hard." Ana looks appalled and has even taken a step away from me.
"Anastasia, I do not interfere with your decisions at Grey Publishing, and there is no way I am going to allow you to dictate how I run Grey Enterprise." I dispute.
"However; what you said is just awful. How could you? I understand that you are upset over this relationship, but totally discounting Phoebe is unjust" Ana is appalled.
"Unjust?" I say as if testing the word out.
"Yes. This is Phoebe; we are talking about, not some person off the street. She has been a terrific daughter all her life and worked so hard to make you proud more than anyone else." I cock my head to the side, causing Ana to mellow out. "Phoebe went to Harvard to make you proud, when she would have preferred to go to Stanford. She went never even considered another career besides working alongside you from the time she was ten, when she should have been changing her mind every day. She never rebelled or went behind our backs as a teenager. Christian, the fact of the matter is we raised her and she is the sum of us. To say that we don't agree with her judgement, it is a reflection of our parenting skills." I surmise.
"Maybe it's my influence then?" I say reflective.
"What are you going on about?"
"Well I wasn't really much of a parent to Ted, and we have never had these issues with him." I evaluate and reveal one of my biggest fears. Was I not a good enough father?
"Oh fifty. I thought we were past this. You were an amazing father to Phoebe, and you have done everything humanly possible to make it up to Ted. You have also been a brilliant grandfather. Phoebe is an adult and is going to make her own decisions." Ana states.
"I would rather she just listened to us and was quick to obey" I say unwavering.
"Otherwise you wish she hadn't grown up. Right?" Ana is right, but I don't want to confirm the fact. I pull her closer to me and hold her tight. I want to feel her close to me.
"I am still mad at you." Ana reminds me
"I know. I am mad at myself too. I need to talk to Phoebe" I contemplate.
"You need to apologize to her." Ana states harshly.
"I will try, but…. Let's just go and check on Macie."
# # # #
"You can all stay for dinner if you like?" Ana offers. Ted and Lily are trying to decide whether to go home or stay longer. Macie has just been fed once more and fallen asleep in the spare room. None of us want to disturb her sleep pattern.
"Mr and Mrs Grey?" Ryan calls us from the entrance of the main room. "Phoebe Grey is here"
"Aunt Phoebe is here?" Ruby asks excited.
"Yes I am. Hi Ruby" Ruby runs over to her aunt and holds her tightly, closely followed by Eli.
"Did you get the time mixed up? Everyone was here for lunch, not for dinner." Eli tells her.
"I know. I just had something unexpected come up today." Phoebe says frowning. The twins are old enough to know that there has been a lot of conflict of Phoebe and Josh, but they don't know the extent how awful things have gone. We have worked hard to protect them from that.
"Ruby and Eli could you both give me some privacy with your parents and grandparents. I need to talk to them." I am immediately put on alert and start to read my daughter's body language. However,; it doesn't take a mind-reader to realize that she has been crying.
"Kids why don't you go and check on Macie for us" Lily requests. Once they are both out of sight Phoebe walks towards us. She looks awful, and my need to protect her kicks in.
"Do you want a drink or something to eat? Hang on, you've been crying. What's happened?" Ana expresses my concern.
"Mom I will explain in a few minutes. First, I want to know who is responsible. Was it you Dad or was it you Ted?" Phoebe shoots us both a look of anger.
"What?" Ted responds looking at me and Phoebe confused.
"My thoughts exactly. Phoebe what are you talking about?" I query. I hate riddles.
"Last night one of you spoke to Josh and asked him to leave. I have no idea what you threatened him with or what you said, but congratulations you succeeded. In fact, he is probably landing in New York right now. Josh and I have ended our relationship or more accurately, he has. I just want to know, did you both cause Josh to leave or was it just one of you" Tears are rushing down her eyes, and I am faced with mixed feelings. I am thrilled that their relationship has come to an end, whilst I want to hold me daughter and tell her that everything is going to be alright and that I am sorry it didn't work out. However I put that all aside as there is a more pressing issue at hand.
"Phoebe I don't know what you are talking about. I didn't talk Josh last night. I haven't spoken to him in three months" Ted states impassioned, and honestly.
"Dad?" Phoebe shoots me a look, to determine if I am responsible.
"No," I state. My mind starts to list who could be responsible. I understand why Phoebe naturally thought it was either I or Ted, but she is mistaken.
"I don't believe you both. You both have opposed Josh, and I bring together for months now. Why couldn't I have the same privilege the rest of our family has had?" Phoebe's fury is taking over her to the point she can't even stay still. Rather she commences to pace. "Why couldn't I be with Josh?
"Do we seriously need to go there again? You know why!" I tell her.
"Oh yeah, the fucking age difference issue." My daughter cusses.
"It was unacceptable" I point out. Phoebe then starts to laugh, a little irrationally.
"Did you ever consider at a time many of the relationships in our family would have been deemed unacceptable. Ted at one time, you wouldn't be allowed to marry or even date Lily as she is bi-racial. Dad and Mom your relationship wouldn't have been acceptable because you both came from different socioeconomic backgrounds. Grandpa would have even been advised to end his relationship with grandma because she can't have children. Even Aunt Kate would have been told not to date and marry Uncle Elliot because he was with a lot of women beforehand." Phoebe seems to have gotten to Ana, Lily and even little to Ted, however; my opinion is not shifting.
"You are right, there would have been a time where our relationships wouldn't have been acceptable, but over time, society has seen past all of those factors you have mentioned. However, it had failed to see past relationships, when one of the partners is old enough to be the father of his girlfriend" I hiss.
"I don't care anymore. I just want to know which one of you or whoever made Josh leave and how they did it!" Phoebe argues.
"Did Josh tell you that he spoke to your Dad or Ted?" Ana queries.
"No. After he left I contacted his sister in New York. She told me that someone last night, told Josh to leave. She didn't know whom it was, and Josh refused to say who it is"
"But that means that it could be anyone." Ted assesses.
"But there is no-one who wanted Josh, gone more than you two. Just tell me if either of you made him leaves and how you managed it? What did you say? Tell me! I just want honesty." Phoebe argues.
"It wasn't me," Ted says sincerely.
"He is telling you the truth. Ted was at home with me and the kids all night. He didn't even answer his phone." Lily says providing Ted with an alibi.
"Then was it you Dad." Phoebe has suddenly become judge, jury and executioner.
"No," I tell her.
"I am beyond over this drama. I don't want any more of it. Here, this is for you, Dad" Phoebe snaps and holds out an envelope for me. I don't take it, having a decent idea of what it contains.
"I resign from Grey Enterprise" Phoebe states sternly, placing the envelope down on the coffee table, but then struggles to fight her emotions. I feel a shock of fear and annoyance.
"Phoebe don't, please. You are so adept at what you do!" Ted requests.
"I refuse to accept it. Phoebe I will see you at work on Monday." I tell her harshly.
"It's too late. It is finished. I went to Grey House before coming over this evening, and have cleaned out my desk, and took all my personal items with me. On my desk, you will find my GEH laptop, cell phone and even my company pen. I don't ever want to see any of it again." Her words feel like a knife is stabbing me over and over again.
"Phoebe, go up to your old bedroom, have a shower or a bath. I will get you some dinner, and then you can go to sleep. You will then talk about this with your mother and me in the morning" I tell her, taking control of the situation.
"Oh Dad, don't even think that shit will work on me. I am not a child. There is also no place for me at Grey Enterprise anymore. You made that point abundantly clear, when you told me yesterday that you, no longer trust my judgement. When you don't trust the judgement of one of your employees, you won't even look at any of suggestions. Basically, making me the most ineffective employee in the whole corporation. The only reason I can see why you would want me at Grey Enterprise, is to keep tabs on me, and that is a privilege I am not giving you again. Cancel the security you have on me, or I will contact the authorities." Phoebe locks eye on me and waits for me to respond.
"So what do you intend to do then?" I question Phoebe. I don't know whether to make plans to protect her or to destroy anything she tries to do, so she does come back to grey Enterprise.
"I am not sure. I don't even know if I am even going back to my apartment" Phoebe's uncertainty worries me. "I need to go. Mom I will call you" Phoebe is half way out when I yell out.
"Phoebe! STOP! You are not thinking rationally. Let us help you" I plead with her.
"You have all helped enough." Phoebe starts to walk out again but stops, and turns around with tears streaming down her eyes. I haven't seen her cry like that for an extraordinarily long time.
"There was a stage when I thought I was going to have to choose between Josh and my family, but in the end I lost both." Phoebe comments appraising the situation.
"You haven't lost your family. We are here!" I advise her, hoping she will run into my arms.
"But Dad just like you didn't trust me at work, I don't trust you, or Ted anymore. I accept that you are both might be telling the truth that you both didn't force Josh to leave last night, I can't be sure. I can't take the leap of faith." With that statement, Phoebe walks out, and I don't know when I am going to see her again.
I pull out my cell phone and ring Welch, Barney and Taylor. I want to know what happened last night and who is involved. Most of all I want to know what was the key reason for Josh leaving. There must be more to this story.
Phoebe's POV:
"Miss Grey Are you sure you want to do this?" The lawyer from Josh's old law office here in Seattle questions.
"Yes, most defiantly, I do want this kept under wraps for the time being but I realize that it would be short lived. I just don't want particular people finding out until I have finalized the first deal, which will be soon." I explain.
"Of course." He nods and then looks at me "Miss Grey you do understand that you will be one of your fathers competitors now"
"I more than understand that"
"So the only thing left is coming up with a name for your company. Do you have one in mind?" He asks. I had thought about what I would call my company as I couldn't call it Grey Enterprise.
"Yes. Fifi Enterprises." I inform him.