Chapter X

10th September 1941,

Dearest Selwyn,

I am so grateful that you have enough time to write to us every three days at least. Please don't worry that your letters are short, they can't be longer and we know it, Dad always reminds us that that's how it is when you're in the trenches and you know that a lot better than any of us except for Daddy of course. The letters, however short they are, you send to us are so precious because we know that you're well, or at least as well as you can be while in the trenches in France.

Selwyn, I know I say it in my every letter I send to you, so you're probably bored with it already and you don't believe me either but: I am extremely proud of you, my darling brother. You and Gil are my lifetime heroes and there will never come a time in my life, not even when my hair is entirely white, when I'll say that I'm not proud of you, not just for going to war but for being you, my dear Selwyn. I hope you know that. Especially because I know how many people write this to you in each of their letters too, Mother is more than a perfect example of that.

Gil does write to us and from time to time he has time to write longer letters but this time of getting longer letters from Gilly disappeared for some time now. I imagine you've heard of the Berlin bombings? Well, I'm sure Gilly wrote himself to tell you this himself but he's bombing, alongside Marshall, poor Berlin. Is it wrong of me to say "poor Berlin", Selwyn? Is it wrong of me to be praying not only for our boys but for the Germans and Italians and Japanese people as well? I know that you've already told me that that is a very "right and good" thing to do but still... But this is what I do, I pray for all the people engaged in this horrid war, all the innocent people who experience so much hatred like all the poor and innocent Jews! I'm not going to write you anything about what I've heard about them, you know it yourself most probably and I know of your sensitive soul, like mine although stronger, so I won't turture it by repeating the war news in any way.

I really hope that you don't think me foolish for praying for all of your "enemies" you have to fight with everyday in France. I do pray mostly for my own relatives of course, for your safety because that's most important. I pray for all the "enemies" of ours just because my heart thinks it right and whether it's right or wrong I will never be entirely sure. I know one thing though, you will understand me and that is why I am telling you this, my dear Selwyn.

Yes, we're back at school and as I promised I'll tell you all about it in this letter because it is a free afternoon for me (all homework done finally!). However before I start I will tell you something extraordinary. Uncle Shirley's Susan is amazingly intelligent, I mean she's so clever while being only twelve years old. She's already better in Maths and Science than I am, me turning eighteen next May! She's also so different from her siblings, you know. Will (who grew so much taller during only this summer!) is just such a funny boy and so brave as well, but Uncle Shirley recently laughed saying Will's as clumsy as his wife is! And we all laughed because you and I know how many cups Auntie Emma can crash on the floor in a period of one month.

Then it's sweet Delia (who turned seven years old last weekend, can you believe it?) who is quite like her brother although she's a charmer. She flutters her long eyelashes and gets anything she wants to from Grandpa Gilbert or Grandma Anne! And Susan is so quiet and poised… I sometimes wish she was closer to my age so that we could spend time together at school.

But now going back to school-going-ons. Lily is at Redmond and I've already received three full and long letters from her, a real Law student! She sent you a letter too, she said, maybe you got it already, but I'll tell you anyway. She's very ecstatic about Redmond and her letter to you will certainly make you smile and laugh out loud. I am so proud of her and happy for her but yet I feel so very sorry in my heart. It only proves that we're all almost grown-up! This thought makes me feel so downhearted, I can almost understand why parents always get so nostalgic about their children growing up. I feel their pain and I understand it because I don't feel ready to be a real grown-up yet.

I love going to school and learning and if I could I would do it all my life. Everyone, even you my dear brother, tell me that I'm very mature for my age and that I've always have been and I know that's true but it doesn't mean that I want to be a grown-up yet. Being mature and being a grown-up are two different things, aren't they, Selwyn? You can talk about certain things, and think of them in a mature way but it is only when you are a part of different, meaningful things or happenings in your life it is when you're a grown-up. Do you know where I'm going with it, Selwyn? I'm sure you do, you of all people know me too well.

Ada went to Queen's of course for her second year now and she keeps her mind and time occupied with Maths. She already said that she's sending letters to Susan and tells her all about differnet theories and equations she's learning, how nice of her to do so for sweet little Susan! David though has just started High School in White Sands, Ada wrote to me. But then… You know that yourself! You and David were and are always such good friends! You will know more about his life than myself but I'm sure he's doing spendidly, he always does.

Before we will get to my school-going-ons, I still have to tell you about Jo. Gilly told me (wrote me rather) that Jo studies English Language and Literature at Redmond, and as it's her last year now, she doesn't know what to do with her degree afterwards and I can only wonder myself what she'll do with it because I can't exactly see our Jo being a patient teacher. But I'm being quite judgemental, am I not? I don't want to speak harshly of her even though she still gives me those terrible cold looks from time to time as if she was judging me instead. Uncle Jerry and Auntie Nan were also wondering about the same thing with their daughter at the family dinner last Sunday. There were many suggestions made but each was confronted by Jo shaking her head. Well, whatever Jo will do with her degree I am sure it will be quite unpredictable as she herself is.

And now I'll tell you about the old me and what's going on for me at my school. Selwyn, it was so wonderful to come back. Flora and I again had so much to talk about, as she was in Mexico (can you imagine?) with her parents for the whole summer. See was also back from his holidays. We all talked and talked and lessons were really interesting as well, even Maths and Science! Seb still walks me home everyday and it is such a sweet habit of ours, it seems to me that the wind talks with us too on each of our journey home (that's what Seb said and it is so right, and I know you will like this comment of his too!).

So yes, it is all good for me and the school for now. It is my last year of High School though and believe it or not, my dear brother, I don't know what to do afterwards (whether to go to a university or stay at home and be a music teacher, I mean), but I do still have some more months left to decide, right?

Well, I will go downstairs now, our Mum and Auntie Una are serving dinner today and I am really interested to hear what's new at the orphanage (as I don't work there during school simply because I don't have enough time).

I'm sending you all my love and hugs and kisses and all the best my darling brother of a name Selwyn. I'm so proud of you! And I miss you! But I'm so proud you can't imagine the feeling I feel right now!

Be safe always.

Your sister,

Hester

It was October and there was no denying it. The world of Hester was covered in the perfect definition of autumn, the colours were so vibrant and warm that Hester was in an even deeper sweet melancholy of hers that month, wishing with all strength she had inside of her for her poetic brother Selwyn to see it all with his bright grey eyes and to write another poem about it all. She wished for Gilly, John and Walt to see it too but she knew deep down in her heart that Selwyn needed this sight most of them all. However her life continued on and so it did for her brothers and cousins at the front as well, two drastically different realities yet still true and real nonetheless. So Hester simply stopped wishing for things she knew could not happen in any near future.

Hester was walking down the lane between the trees of colours of oranges, reds and yellows with a tall and handsome young man of a name Seb right next to her. Seb was of course walking Hester back home after school and they were walking their usual way, between the trees and peacefulness which was surrounding them. "But what will become of your cousin Bruce's family when he goes to war?" Seb asked Hester curiously, his deep blue eyes locked on her sweet flushed face.

Hester sighed softly, her own hazel eyes growing gloomy but she looked back into Seb's with a softer look in them "Well, Bruce thought about that of course and he already telephoned grandpa John and grandma Rosemary to ask them whether they'd be alright with Louisa and the girls to come and live with them for the time when he'll be training and then fighting at the front. They agreed of course." Hester smiled lightly "So at least we'll be seeing more of Louisa and the twins…" she sighed again and allowed Seb to squeeze her shoulder gingerly which caused her cheeks to turn a shade redder "He'll be going for his training next week." she said.

"I know you worry about him, Hester." Seb said gently "But don't worry about him, all you can do is to hope." he smiled at her softly and she smiled back.

"This and to pray." she added her voice slowly going back to its liveness.

Seb chuckled lightly and put his arm around her shoulders "See? You can replace worrying with something more useful." he said.

"Yes, that's true." she replied quietly. As she looked up to see Seb's face, her mind was beginning to work like a wrist watch and it was as if she heard a loud and clear "click!" in her mind when she saw that special and terrifying twinkle in Seb's eyes as he looked down at her. "You're going to enlist too, aren't you, Seb?" she asked him almost breathlessly, a realisation dawning on her like a wave of coldness.

Seb's expression changed and it grew worried as he watched how Hester's face was slowly turning pale, even though she wore her fluffy beret on her head and a thick scarf around her neck. He touched her hand reassuringly "Yes, Hester, I must." he said simply, even though Seb wasn't a person who was accustomed to talk with the use of simple statements and words.

Hester gazed at him for a few moments, watching his face and memorizing each of its feautures as if that afternoon was the last one before they would part their ways into the unknown. "You'll enlist when you'll turn eighteen in December?" she breathed out finally.

"Yes." he replied silently, his eyes locked and almost lost in Hester's own. They walked like this for what seemed like eternity until Seb stopped eventually and put his hands on Hester's arms so that she could face him. One brown curl of his hair rolled onto his broad forehead and Seb started to look decidedly at Hester, with his own cheeks turning slightly pink. Hester was enchanted by him in that moment and she thought that he already was a dashing young soldier who was about to… About to… Hester's own cheeks flushed with a fiery colour and her heart started to beat furiously as if it had wings of its own. "Hester, I have a question to ask you." he said finally, his voice steady and firm, making her to look at him with wide and almost frightened eyes, oblivious of what he's about to say or not to say next.

"Yes?" she whispered.

"When I'll enlist," he started "-and then go to the training camp and eventually to the battlefield, will you... will you wait for me to come back to you?" he asked her and his expression was still serious yet so breathtaking to Hester that she could swear in that moment that she couldn't feel her body at all.

"I will wait for you to come back to me." she answered more him softly, yet still without drawing in any air into her lungs. Her eyelashes fluttered nervously, and her cheeks turned into a perfect rosy red colour which made her look like the most perfect young beauty in the whole world, with her black curly hair coming our of her beret.

Seb smiled at her radiantly, his own cheeks truning quite red and he allowed himself to put his warm hands on Hester's cheeks "It's very good to know, my beautiful cellist." he whispered tenderly and then he lowered down his head enough to kiss her lips.

Hester always imagined that her first kiss would make her so nervous she wouldn't be able to breathe and that she wouldn't even think of closing her eyes, she'd be shaking so much. However the reality proved both of her imaginings wrong. As soon as Seb's lips met her own, she stopped shaking, all the fear went away, her breathing was regular and most importantly her eyes were closed and she was lost in the moment of perfect happiness found in the secret of her first kiss.

It didn't last long but to Hester it felt like hours when Seb pulled away and looked deeply into her eyes, still smiling at her "You are the only person I know who can make me smile like this, do you know that?" he asked her delicately.

"Now I do." she replied, her own lips smiling and her eyes shining in a way they never did before that day.

Seb winked at her and put his hand in her own, resuming their walk together "I'll walk you home then, my dear." he said to her as he put his arm around her shoulders again and Hester leaned against his right side, her entire mind dreaming softly between the clouds of romance.

"Walk me home and never stop." she whispered and closed her eyes, enjoying the smell of books on his coat and her lips forming into a delightful smile.

She didn't see it but she felt how Seb turned his head and looked down at her and she knew that he smiled. "I'll try." he replied softly.

Seb walked Hester home but on that particular day it took them a bit longer to walk the same distance they always follow. They talked about everything with suddenly a much wider openness, their hands interlocked together as well as their eyes. Hester suddenly forgot about all her worries, doubts, torubles or the war itself, even of the fact that Seb himself was to go and join its horrors soon. He gave her the ability of living her life with "Carpe Diem" speaking through it.

When they finally reached the old House of Dreams, Seb once again put his hands on Hester's cheeks and lifted her head just to look into her eyes. It was quite a sweet picture they both produced standing like that near the house of Hester's with the red road springing up in front of them and behind them too. Hester was always quite short, shorter than all of the girls from her Group apart from Marion who was exactly Hester's height. Seb on the other hand was very tall, one of the tallest boys in their school, and so if the music was playing and Seb was to dance with Hester, she would be a perfect size to cradle her head right in the centre of Seb's chest.

And so Hester had to lift her head quite high to look into Seb's crystal blue eyes and to match his smile with her own "Would you like to come in?" Hester asked him with her sweet voice.

Seb smiled at her kindly "I would love to, dear, but you know that today my father wants me to help him fix the oven." he sighed with regret but then grinned at his sweetehart once more "But I don't know how much of a help I will be to him because I won't be able to stop thinking about you."

Hester blushed under his gaze but smiled even wider at him "Well, I think that this will be the same case for me and doing homework tonight." she whispered.

Seb chuckled lightly "Well then we will both be very occupied indeed." he said and Hester laughed as well "I will see you first thing in the morning though."

"Yes, you will." she replied gently.

"Goodnight then, my sweetheart." he whispered as he lowered his head and kissed her once more, softly.

"Goodnight, Sebastian." she said to him as she pulled away after some time and she stepped on the second step leading to the House of Dreams' verandah, her hand still in Seb's own. He smiled at her tenderly and then let go of her hand and turned around, going back on the lane. Hester leaned against the wall next to her and watched him go with those dreamy hazel eyes of hers and a darling little smile on her face. Seb was turning around a few times just to wave at her and she would wave back at him of course. When he was out of sight, Hester sat down on the stairs almost collapsing, her eyes were closed and this strange and new kind of smile was still on her lips caused by the burning touch of romance left on them by a handsome boy of blue eyes and light brown hair.

Yes, romance entered her life and she felt in her heart that it was only the beginning of it and that it won't ever leave her life, ever again. She did not mind that at all.