Epilogue: Ten years later

Phoebe's POV:

"Carrie Grace Harris, this is getting ridiculous. We are going to be late for your own birthday party!" I tell my now ten year old daughter standing at her bedroom door. My parents are hosting an extended family dinner-party for Carrie's birthday today, just as they have done each year since she was born, and for each of their grandchildren. I can barely believe my little girl is ten today. Ever since she was born, people have always commented are how she resembles me so much, but this is only because of her beautiful long brown hair and blue eyes. That I get from my beautiful mother. When you get past those two features, you will notice that she is her father's daughter with his jaw line and smile.

"You are worrying about nothing Mom. There is no way they can start the party without me, so we are not late. " My daughter says raising her eyebrows. My baby girl has so much of her dear father in her that it almost makes me laugh, and I know I couldn't love her anymore. Even her teachers say that she is an attorney in training, with a persuasive argument for everything.

"Very clever, but we are supposed to be at your grandparents at 3:30." I emphasize.

"Mom, you know that all the boy's in our family are not going to be there until after five. They all went to the baseball game." My daughter points out accurately. I was a little concerned when Ted got every male member of our family a ticket to the game. They have promised to be at my parents' house by five, even if they have to leave before the game is over. They would never miss my baby's birthday. She is the apple of their eyes. She has every single one of them wrapped around her little finger from her grandfather to her uncle Teddy.

"Sweetie, Macie, Emma and the rest, probably are already at your grandparent's house anxiously awaiting our arrival. They are all waiting for the birthday girl. Besides, don't you want to go over and help decorate your birthday cake. Remember you started that tradition. You can't disappoint your grandmother. " I point out.

"I only started it so I could sneak extra sweets on top. Besides, once I have finished, someone always took off some of candies" My daughter points out.

"I didn't realize that you knew. You never said anything"

"I didn't want to seem ungrateful, plus I know grandpa gets weird when we don't eat healthy. The extra sweets must drive him nuts. " My daughter says with a little shrug. "Grandma always had to talk him off the ledge when we had treats."

"I am so glad that grandma and grandpa weren't going to be away. Have you spoken to them? They are going to be at my party, aren't they? Their flight didn't get delayed, or anything, did it?" Carrie asks uncharacteristically worried. She adores her grandparents as much as they adore her.

"Of course they are. Do you think they would miss your birthday party? They would never miss your birthday, no matter where they were in the world. That was a promise my dad made to me when I was little, and it is a promise he has kept with you kids. I spoke to them this morning while you were out at movies with your friends. They had a fabulous time but are excited to see you. They missed you so much" I inform her.

"Good. Can I wear jeans and top?" Carrie asks.

"No, I think it would be more appropriate if you wore a dress." I move towards my daughter's wardrobe and commence to inspect it. I think she has more dresses than I did growing up. "Carrie, you have more dresses and clothes than the population of a small town could wear!"

"I know. Last time Grandpa took me shopping I told him I had enough, but you know grandpa he never listens. He said he used to love to shop for you. I think he likes to do the same for me. I actually think grandpa enjoys shopping" I laugh knowing it is typical Christian Grey behavior.

"Oh that he does!" My daughter and I smile at each other. "Which dress did you buy the last time you were with grandpa shopping?"

"You mean which formal, semi-formal or casual dress did we buy?" My daughter laughs. Of course, there is no way my father would take one of his granddaughters shopping and only buy one or two items.

"Semi-formal" I clarify.

"The purple one and the blue and white one"

"Wear the purple dress." I say pulling the dress out of the wardrobe.

"I want to wear the purple bracelet Daddy gave me. I have been waiting to wear this for so long" My daughter runs over to her jewellery box and delicately picks it up.

"Perfect. Now you have twenty minutes" I remind her.

I walk out of my daughter's room, and eye the photos that decorate the hallway. Every member of our combined Grey and Harris families is represented. There are photos of our wedding, Ted and Lily's wedding and Ava and Marcus's wedding. There are photos of my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. So many wonderful photographs with so many magnificent memories. Josh's parents take a place of pride alongside our family photos, as well. We even have a picture of Taylor and Gail who are like family to me. This wall displays how much my daughter and I have both grown up. Everyone I hold dear is here. The wall is a testament to all the marriages, births, celebrations and even deaths. We have experienced every emotion known to man in the last ten years, but as Josh stated when we had Carrie, it was all worth it in the end.

Carrie and I get into the back of our SUV and head to my parents' house. My father still insists that we all have an allocated CPO. I gave up fighting with him and just accept this request. It helps to keep my father's blood pressure low and the hair on his head. We still live on the sound only a mile from my parent's house. That was wonderful advantage when we had Carrie. They were always on hand to offer help, babysit and offer advice.

My father and mother once spent four nights in a row at our house, when Carrie was a baby and wouldn't sleep very long. Josh and I were exhausted. After I fed my daughter, my parents would then take her and try to settle her while I went back to sleep. As you would expect, my parents always got her back to sleep in no time. Both my mother and father have an exceptionally close and deep relationship our daughter.

We arrive at my parents, and the door is open before we even get out of the car. To my surprise we are greeted by an ever so familiar face. "Taylor! What are you doing here?" I ask then hug him.

"Gail and I decided to fly up today. Gail wanted to check on her sister, and I wanted to make sure that the current security procedures for everyone were all working well. But truth be told, Gail and I wanted to come for Carries birthday and see you all." Taylor admits to me.

"Happy Birthday Carrie," Taylor says hugging her.

"Thanks Mr. Taylor. It is good to see you again you. Where is Ms Jones?"

"In the kitchen taking over. Where else do you think she would be on the day of your birthday dinner" Taylor shrugs and grins. "She is making some of your favorite dishes."

"Really? Would she happen to be making macaroni and cheese?" Carrie eyes are wide at the thought of Gail's mac and cheese. I have to agree is delicious and an old time family favorite of mine too.

"It is the first dish she started to prepare," Taylor says.

"Brilliant! I am going to go see everyone" Carrie is beyond excited and heads into the house.

"She resembles you so much at that age," Taylor advises me.

"I can barely keep up with her. No one can. My parents, Ted or Josh, haven't been able to for years." I say and stop.

"I just spoke to Ted's CPO, they will be back soon. Your Uncle Elliot and brother have resumed their long time baseball rivalry" Taylor advises me.

"Oh gosh, we may have to separate them at dinner," I say rolling my eyes. "Do you remember when I was maybe five; you, dad, ted, Elliot and my grandfather were watching the baseball and I wasn't able to go with the girls because I was sick…."

"Phoebe, you had me wear an orange hat and scarf, and then proceeded to make us all have a tea party with you" Taylor shakes his head, but brakes out into laughter. "Finniest moment ever was your uncle's face when you put a floral wreath on him."

"I have so many treasured memories, and I am only thirty four. Sometimes I feel greedy that I have had so many happy experiences" I admit.

"But Phoebe you have also…" I cut Taylor off, knowing where he is going.

"I thought you would have been with my father. I know he still considers you his right hand man. "

"Your father is currently occupied."

"Occupied? Where? In his study?"

"No."

"Where then?"

"Phoebe think about it. When your father is occupied, where is he usually?" Taylor says cocking his head to the side.

"My seventy plus parents are still like horny teenagers!" I say shaking my head.

"

Yes, they are"

"We are thinking of taking a trip down to California before Christmas. Would it be okay if we came to visit you and Gail?" I inquire.

Gail formally retired several years back as did Taylor though he is still officially in charge of personal security for our family.I am not sure if he is unwilling to relinquish the role or if my father doesn't want him to retire completely. Taylor has been my dad's right hand man for many years. Although he is considered staff, I suspect that my father has considered him a friend for far longer. Now whether my dad would ever admit that, is another story. Taylor and Gail moved to California, when his only daughter Sophie and her husband started to have children. I know Taylor wouldn't never admit it, but I know that he misses our children. Even Ruby and Eli called him Uncle Taylor when they were younger.

"We would love it that." He says with a smile.

"Taylor, I know this is a little late, but I want to thank you for all your help when grandmother passed away. I know you took care of security. But more importantly I know you took care of my dad. You have been a phenomenal friend to my whole family." I praise him, though feel guilty that I didn't tell him earlier.

"I have enjoyed being a part of this family. I better go to the security quarters and prepare to debrief your father. I will see you at dinner." Taylor winks at me and heads off to this office.

My grandparents have both passed away. Though we all take comfort knowing that they had a long happy life, surrounded with family and love. My grandfather lived well into his nineties and passed a month before Carrie turned three. He had a heart attack, and held on long enough to see every member of our family before passing away. Grandpa died holding my grandma's hand. They had a true love story. Grandma held out for another six years, living past one hundred years old. She was a truly remarkable woman. We all did everything to ensure her remaining years were meaningful and made sure she was able to live her final years at Bellevue, which was always her wish. Despite having our family around constantly, I know that she missed my grandfather every day. As the years past her health began to fail and she passed away peacefully in her sleep. My father took her passing hard. Grace Trevelyan Grey had saved his life when he was just a four year old. My father considered her his guardian angel.

Carrick and Grace Grey were the symbol of everything that is praiseworthy in the world. They worked hard to succeed, overcame personal and emotion hardships to find it in their heart to adopt three children and then proceed to guide their ever growing family. They were the essence of love compassion and forgiveness. I thank god every day they were my grandparents. When we lost them the whole family rallied around each other and together we came through stronger. We still spend time discussing our glorious memories of our grandparents and Bellevue. I never knew my father and his siblings got into so much mischief growing up. I wonder how my grandparents managed to stay so level headed. I once asked my father how he would have reacted if I had engaged in similar shenanigans. The look on his face frightened me. Not because my father was angry, but because my father looked petrified.

I wandered into the kitchen and find Aunt Mia, Gail and my parent's housekeeper all fussing about the kitchen. Thank god the kitchen is large otherwise I suspect there would be some tension amongst the cooks. Gail and the housekeeper were preparing dinner while Mia was putting the finishing touches on Carrie's cake.

I greet them all and offer to help, it is my daughter's birthday dinner after all, but am told to sit down.

"Where is Carrie?" I ask, expecting to see her here.

"She has gone upstairs with Kate. Your Aunt came over early to see your mother but by the time she arrived your mother was otherwise occupied. So Kate decided to pass the time doing Carrie's hair and makeup. I guess you should be prepared" Mia informs me.

"Aunt Kate use to do the same for me. Ted would say I was her little dress up doll" I have to stifle my laugh as I recall my father's disapproval at times, even giving me a cloth to wipe the makeup off.

Aunt Mia pours two glasses of wine and slides one across the island to me. Mia continues to work on the cake as I enjoy my glass of wine. Gosh, my aunt decorates the cake with so much precision, it is enchanting.

My Aunt Mia had lived in Paris even before I was born. Originally she was working as a patisserie chef, but was invited to teach at a prestigious cooking school. Aunt Mia taught some of the most famous chefs. While my aunt never married, she had some seriously long term partners, and by her own words was very much fulfilled. Privately I don't know if she would have been happy as a married woman, her free spirit and sense of adventure wasn't compatible to compromise which is why her relationships always ended after a period of time.

"Do you have to leave tomorrow for Paris? I have loved seeing you so much this past month. " I tell my aunt.

"Yes, I am afraid so. I have a few meetings at the culinary college to attend, but I will be back soon. You know you can fly over and visit me. You are the second in charge of Grey enterprise with an aviation fleet at your fingertips. You might as well take advantage of that. You know, Paris is an extremely romantic city. Who knows what might happen if you came to visit. You know your parents would love to look after Carrie."

"I will keep it in mind" I say trying not to blush as thoughts rush through my mind.

"TADAH the cake is finished. What do you think?" Mia announces. Before I am able to tell her how magnificent it looks we hear voices behind us.

"The cake is finished? Excellent. Is there any cut offs" I hear Ava enter, with her twelve year old daughter Emma following behind. Marcus and their son Cameron are with the other Grey men at the baseball game.

"You have to excuse my mother, she is a little emotional. I just told her that I am giving up dancing and take up soccer." Emma says as she kisses me and Mia hello. Emma is incredibly sassy just like her mother. "Are Macie and Carrie here?"

"Macie is not here yet, but Carrie is upstairs with your grandmother having her hair and makeup done" I say rolling my eyes at Ava. Emma's shoulder drops in despair. She is the biggest tomboy that ever existed. Where this child came from I will never know. She is the complete opposite of my cousin.

"Go ahead Emma if you want to join them. I don't mind if you want to wear a little makeup. I am sure you would look exceptionally pretty. " Ava says trying to encourage her daughter.

"No, thank you, but I will go and say hello to Carrie and grandma."

"Some days it feels like I have two sons. Instead of taking my daughter shopping for her year seven social, I need to take her to buy shin guards and a new soccer outfit" Ava says sorrowfully causing us to burst into laughter.

"Ava just focus on the big picture. Emma is such a terrific kid. She never gets in trouble, gets excellent grades and always listens to her parents. I wish I could always say the same for my daughter"

"I know you are right. Marcus is over the moon at our daughter's changing interests. He thinks that she will stay away from boys for a little while longer now"

"Except she is such an exceptional athlete that she is likely to be training with the boys. Those same boys are going to notice her!" I comment.

Ava and Marcus have had some bumpy years, but they always seem to come through their difficult times stronger. After Emma's birth, Marcus applied to cease working abroad in the Middle East, but he was rejected as there was no need for his expertise in the Seattle based office. Ava decided to give up work as a result and devote herself to her daughter. Having one parent absent and the other working, didn't sit well with my cousin. Seven years ago, after trying for another child and a few heartbreaking miscarriages, they had a son that they named Cameron. He is just like his father. Very level headed and a charmer. Everyone falls in love with him the minute they meet him. A couple of years ago, Marcus and Ava's relationship was starting to buckle under the strain of Marcus' work. Marcus put his foot down, either his company relocate him back to Seattle or he would accept a job with their competition. His employer cleverly relented. With Marcus back home now and the kids a bit older, Ava returned to work at the network, working as a part time producer.

Aunt Kate and Uncle Elliot have long since retired. My Uncle sold his Grey Construction company after Aunt Kate had a health scare. Ever since then they have dedicated their lives to each other, their family and travel. They often join my parents on their trips to different parts of the world.

"I need a top up," Ava says grabbing the wine and refilling our glasses.

By half past four, my sister-in-law Lily has arrived with my niece's Ruby and Macie. My parents have finally come downstairs, but my dad is in his study with Taylor. All the females of our family including Gail, Gwen and Ros are seated around the main room, and it finally feels like a party. Macie, Emma and Carrie, are seated in the corner listening to Ruby go on about her college days.

Ruby and Eli are now twenty-seven. Ruby is working at Grey Publishing, having inherited her grandmother love for books after attending Stanford. Eli has followed in Ted's footsteps, after attending Harvard, he commenced working at Grey Enterprise. Lily and Ted remain as committed to each other as ever. They never had more children, they have said over and over again that 'three was plenty'. Macie is now thirteen and going through her teenage years full speed ahead.

"Okay Ladies, Ted just called me. They are headed home. Kate, I am to instruct to warn you that Elliot will be in a foul mood because the Mariners lost. " My father says as he walks out of his out of his study with Taylor behind him.

"Great!" Kate says sarcastically. "Carrie, I apologize ahead of time for your Uncle Elliot's behavior tonight."

"It's alright, Uncle Elliot is kind of funny when he is annoyed. You never know what is going to come out of his mouth" Carrie says honestly, making us all laugh.

"Taylor it is a good thing you are here tonight. We may need you to referee. Elliot has already threatened to punch out Ted, and Craig" My father informs me.

"I didn't know Craig went" Ruby mentions. Craig is Lily's cousins and Gwen and Ros's nephew. I knew him while in school. He was briefly interested in me when I returned home from college, though of course, nothing was to come of it. I was only interested in Josh.

We resume our conversation. I notice how my parents are seated closely together. Once in a while my father would rub my mother's back and then they would whisper something to each other. My mother has relished retirement and devotes her time my grandparents charity, 'Coping Together', our family and of course my father. Dad thought still connected officially to Grey Enterprise, is retired. He only offers advice these days and attends on a few meetings. Ted is now the CEO of Grey Enterprise, and the corporation continues to flourish.

The door swings open and the remaining members of my family return. Some glowing and others dejected, but no matter what, are all greeted warmly by their female counterparts. Ted sweeps Lily up into his arms and kisses her tenderly.

"Uncle Ted, how much did the Yankees win by?" My daughter Carrie asks.

"Five home runs. Your father would have loved it" Ted says smiling but then gets a little sombre.

"I am sure he would have" Carrie says grinning.

Josh was in excellent health years after his surgery. Together, we all lived life to its fullest as a family of three. Every day our marriage was happy and full of joy. We encouraged each other to succeed. Josh even returned to the court room, which was his passion and worked to make a positive contribution to Grey enterprise. His goal was to make my parents proud and never regret giving him their blessing to marry me. Together as parents we challenged and supported Carrie. We raised her to never fear the unknown, to take chances and stand up for herself. Every morning he would greet me by telling me how beautiful I was, how lucky he was to have Carrie and I, and that he loved me more than life itself. It was a ritual that he repeated every night till he breathed his last breath.

Three years ago, Josh's health took a swift downturn. His transplant had run its course. The doctors did everything, but there was little that could be done, and he passed away peacefully in his sleep one cold December night. My family rallied around Carrie and I in the usual Grey family manner. Together we all got through it. I knew that when I accepted Josh's marriage proposal that a long life together was unlikely. Even though I would have loved more years together, I cherish the time we had together. I know that some people never experience the level of love I did with Josh in our nine years of marriage.

Josh was a fantastic father, and I am so grateful that he lived long enough for him and Carrie to enjoy many father daughter moments. Our daughter will carry memories of her father forever, and I relish the fact that Josh was able to influence and experience her personality. I see it in her every day.

"I am sure Dad would have loved the game. He loved the Yankees. He even once told me that he would send me to reform school if I supported the Mariners." Carrie says grinning and raises her eyebrows at My Uncle Elliot.

Ted and I look at each other and we both frown, but then smile. We remember the treasured times with Josh.

# # # #

After dinner, birthday cake, and Carrie being spoiled by countless gifts, we start to say our goodbyes. We are the first to leave because we are headed New York tomorrow, so Carrie can visit Josh's family. Just before we get into our car, I hear my name being called.

"Phoebe!" I turn around, and there is Lily's Cousin Craig

"Yes Craig?" I ask.

"Sorry to hold you up, I wanted to say hi," He says now a little awkward.

"Okay. Hi" I respond.

"I don't know if Lily told you, but I have moved back to Seattle."

"Yes, I heard. I am sorry that your marriage didn't work out" I say apologetically.

"Thank you, but it I was wondering if you would go out with me this weekend"

"I can't I am sorry. I am taking Carrie to New York" I say apologetically.

"I understand. Maybe another time" he says looking disheartened but recomposed himself. "Look here is my card. My number is on it if you change your mind, please give me a call." Josh passes me the card and walks back into my parents' house. I get into the car and join my daughter. I don't know how to feel about Craig's offer. I haven't started dating again and I haven't even thought of being with another man.

"Mom," Carrie says holding my hand.

"Yes sweetheart"

"Dad didn't want you make a shrine of your love together. He told you that after he passes away that you needed to move on." Carrie reminds me. Damn sometimes she seems so much older than ten years.

"I know." I confirm. Josh was adamant that I continue to live my life after he passed away. Often telling when we knew that he didn't have much time left.

"Then why did you just reject Craig's offer?"

"Because we are going to New York this weekend, remember? You Aunt and Grandparent want to see you too."

"True and I want to see them, but we will be back next weekend."

"Carrie, please. I am extremely happy, and I do not..."

"Stop mom! Stop! I know you are happy, and devote so much time to me and work, but maybe you should take some time out for yourself."

We arrive home quickly, thanks to the short distance between my house and my parents. Once Carrie has had a shower and gotten dressed in her night clothes, I go into her room.

"Good night sweetheart. Did you have a wonderful birthday?" I ask.

"Yes Mom I did. It was brilliant. Thanks for the cell phone. I have been wanted my own phone for so long. I swear I am the last girl at my school to get a phone" Carrie says.

"Just because other kids at your school have something does not mean that you need one also. In addition, you need to be responsible with the phone or it becomes mine" I warn softly.

"I understand"

I kiss Carrie and wish her a good night. As I walk out of her room, my eyes glance over at my favorite family photo, which is on her chest of drawers. It was taken on our last family holiday to the Caribbean, with Josh. I can't help but remember all the heartfelt memories of the times we spent together there. I walk down the hallway to my room and pick up the wedding photo that stands on my bedside table. I am reminded of the words that Josh said before he finally passed away.

"Phoebe, thank you for giving me my life. You and our daughter have meant everything to me. I never thought I would have so many happy days in my life, but because of you, I did. I am sorry that I can't stay with you forever, but my love for you and Carrie is will never fade. It is eternal. Please don't spend the rest of your life alone. I want you to be happy and smile again. I want you to experience the world and find love again. I know you say it is never going to happen, but you are a spectacular woman and finding someone to share your life will only honor the love we have had."

I pull my cell phone out of my bag, and Craig's business card tumbles out. I look at it over and over while I undress. I can't push the words of my wise daughter and her brilliant father out of my mind. I pick up my cell phone and contemplate my next move. I smile to myself and think, yeah I know what I need to do.

"Hi Craig, its Phoebe... Yes, I am fine… look I am away this weekend, but I am free next Friday night…"