Hi Everyone. I missed writing this story, so I thought I would write a bonus chapter! Enjoy

Seeking new Love through Memories

Phoebe's POV:

Carrie and I have just finished having dinner at our house with Craig, and since I cooked, I have been told to sit and finish my wine while they both clean up. Craig and I have been seeing each other for about four months now, casually at first, but our relationship has obviously developed. We have known each other for years ,but this is my first relationship since Josh passed away, and this is CFraig's first relationship since his divorce.

I take a seat at the breakfast bar and watch as my daughter interacts with Craig. They get on rather well. Carrie is an extremely social and lively child, whilst Craig has a real knack for kids. He seems to be able to get down to their level whilst not being patronizing.

"Alright Carrie, do you want to wash or dry?" Craig asks Carrie.

"We have a dishwasher" I intervene.

"I thought we could do it old school" Craig announces.

"Old school?" Carrie asks, unsure of what he means.

"Yes. Haven't you ever washed dishes by hand?" Craig is looking at us both as if he doesn't even know us. He honestly is shocked.

"No," Carrie states honestly. Craig shakes his head and then grins.

"We have a housekeeper and an industrial style dishwasher. There has been no need to wash dishes by hand, but I have been teaching Carrie to cook" I say in my defense. My mother and I bonded over cooking together when I was growing up, and I have continued the tradition with my daughter. I also consider it an essential skill.

"Then it is more than time to try washing dishes by hand. You can wash, it is more fun" Craig fills the sink up with warm water and then instructs Carrie to wash the cups first and then proceed with the rest of the dishes. They swap roles when it comes to the cutlery and the pots.

"This is easy and king of fun." My daughter proclaims, as she starts to put the dishes away.

"So should we get rid of the dishwasher, and you both can wash the dishes 'old school' each night?" I propose have joking.

"NO!" Carrie and Craig both call out at the same time. The scene is so funny that I tilt my head back and laugh out loud until I feel something land softly on my face. I reach up and feel the suds on my face.

"What the?" I call out, which only serves to make Craig and Carrie laugh at me now. "Very funny." Ten minutes later they have both finished cleaning up and are looking rather proud of themselves.

"Carrie its eight o'clock already. You need to go upstairs to have a shower and get into bed. You have thirty minutes. I will be up soon to say good night, and don't forget that you have an early soccer match tomorrow at your school." I remind my daughter.

"Okay Mom." Carrie drops the tea towel she has been using to dry the dishes. "Good night Craig. Are you coming to the game tomorrow?"

"Sure, if you don't mind" Craig asks to check that he is wanted, though he doesn't need to worry. Carrie more than approves of him.

"It would be brilliant if you could to come. It will stop my coach trying to hit on my mother." I give my daughter a scornful look at her statement, but Carrie rolls her eyes.

"Carrie's soccer coach has been hitting on you?" Craig looks appalled and is actually showing a hint of jealousy.

"He has just been trying to talk to me, more than he actually needs to, that is all. Carrie is over exaggerating"

"No, I am not Mom. He did ask you if you would like to go out for dinner with him." I inwardly groan. Why does Carrie feel the need to elaborate on the facts all the time?

"Carrie!" I scold. She practically jumps at my unfamiliar tone " shower, pajamas and bed. Call me when you are ready for me to come up."

"Good night Craig." Carrie says

"Night Carrie, sleep well"

Craig and I don't exchange any words until Carrie is out of sight.

"You got asked out by Carries coach?" Craig asks to clarify what was just revealed. His expression is one concern and annoyance.

"Yes, but I told him no. You see there is this new guy in my life that has taken my fancy" Craig's frown quickly turns into a smile.

"Taken you fancy has he?" Craig slowly walks towards me and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him.

"You could say that" I comment playfully as I run my index finger around the shape of his lips.

"You could also say that this guy you have taken a fancy to, has more than taken a fancy to you" Craig leans down and kisses me softly as he rubs my back. I kiss him back passionately, and in a swift move, Craig sweeps me off my feet and carries me to the leather two seater couch. Though he misjudges the dimensions and we knock the little wooden side table, causing a couple of items to rattle and one of items to fall on the ground.

"Gosh this is so perfect. This is so right! We even cause minor earthquakes when we are together" Craig comments playfully as he hovers over me, causing us to both start to laugh at ourselves.

"What fell down?" I ask still laughing.

"I will find out, let me pick it up" Craig commences to kiss me again, and I feel his arousal start to poke into my hip. He leans down and picks up the fallen item and then holds it up. I stop immediately. My eyes are transfixed at the item.

In Craig's hand is a framed photo of Josh and me, on my father's boat. The mood changes immediately and I move into a sitting position. A mixed of emotions hit me, and I don't know how to respond.

"I am sorry Phoebe," Craig says softly.

"No, there is no need to be. It's just… mum." Developing a coherent sentence suddenly becomes terribly difficult for me.

"Mom, I am ready." Carrie calls out from the top of the stairs.

"I will be back in a few minutes." I inform quickly and exit the main room, thankful for the time out. As I walk up the stairs I feel a few tears run down my cheeks, but I quickly wipe them away and compose myself. I don't want Carrie to ask any questions or become worried. She has taken a real liking to Craig.

I walk into Carrie's room where she is getting into bed and turning on her alarm. I notice that she has her soccer outfit, socks and boots ready. This is one of the traits she inherited from Josh. Super organization. I make sure my daughter is tucked into bed and kiss her forehead.

"Mom?"

"Yes Carrie"

"You know how Craig said he would come to my soccer match tomorrow, and it is a really early game. And as you know parking can be horrible at these events.."

"Yes," I say to have her finish her proposition.

"Then considering all that, then it just makes sense for Craig to stay the night here, and then travel with us tomorrow in our car" I still for a minute while I take in the magnitude of my daughters suggestion

"Craig may not have a change of clothes or a pair of pajamas" I inform my daughter.

"You could ask security to go to his place and get some clothes. Or, you could just ask Craig, to wear the clothes he is currently wearing tomorrow. He might not mind. Or, you could just put his clothes in our washer and drier, so he has some clean clothes for tomorrow. " My daughter says shrugging.

"I don't know" I respond.

"Yes you do, you are just not thinking about it properly." Carries says with more than a hint of sass in her voice.

"So you're a mind reader are you now?" I tell my daughter off.

"Oh come on Mom, open your eyes. Craig is falling for you and I think you are doing the same also." I am again shocked at my daughter's observation. Falling for me? Me falling for him? We have only been together a short period of time really. Nothing has actually been formalized, and we both have come out of difficult times. I can't tell my daughter about what just happened to the photo with her dad and me.

"Do you like Craig?" I inquire.

"Yeah, I do. He is funny, clever, and I know that dad would have approved of him" I nod and then look at the time.

"It's time you go to sleep. I will see you tomorrow. Love you more than the world!"

"Love you too Mom" I kiss my daughter forehead once more and smile at her before I walk out.

I contemplate what to do next as I walk down the stairs and back into the main room. Craig is sitting there, waiting for me and looking at the wedding photo that fell. I walk in slowly and sit back next to him.

"Carrie has gone to bed to go to sleep" I have actually just told him the obvious as I don't know what else say right now.

"Do you want me to leave?" Craig offers.

"No." I tell him honestly. "Do you want to leave?"

"No. Not at all" Craig and I both breathe a silent sigh of relief.

"Wait here" Craig tells me and walks off into my kitchen. He returns with two glasses and a new bottle of wine. "Can I open this bottle?"

"Sure" I respond. There is an unusual silence as Craig pours generous amounts of wine into our glasses and we both start to drink.

"I am sorry about the picture" Craig tell me.

"No, it's okay. Don't even think about it, I don't even know why I still have it have it out." I reach over and grab the framed photo with the intention to put it the little draw on the side table, when Craig stops me.

"Phoebe, don't." I look at him confused. "I don't want you to forget Josh. He was a very crucial part of your life, and he is Carries father. He made you both extremely happy and loved you both. I am happy that Josh was in your life. He helped you become the person you are today and helped bring Carrie into the world. I wish I had met Josh more than the couple of times I did. I would have liked to know him." I start to fidget and then take a long drink of my wine. I don't know how to talk to Craig about Josh. Josh still is a fundamental part of us, but as time moves on, we need to also. This just seems too hard!

"Phoebe, if our relationship is going to work then, we need to be comfortable to talk about anything. I seriously want this to work" He says taking my hand and kissing my knuckles.

"Me too" Craig and I smile at each other, then both take another drink of our wines.

"Good then tell me about a really happy moment you had with Josh and another time where things were not desirable" Craig proposes. Oh Gosh where do I start? I have so many memories.

"But why? I ask

"Because I want to you know that you can tell and talk to me about anything. Just like I know I can with you." He is right of course. We need to be able to talk to make this relationship work.

"Okay happy memory…" I commence.

"No, stop" Craig tells me. "Start with the bad memory. I don't want your last though to be sad." I nod and immediately I recall the saddest moment we ever had.

"The worst memory I had with Josh was the time when we realized that his health was going downhill, and we had a horrible argument. We always knew that the transplant wasn't going to last forever, but I was aware that I could donate one for him. I proposed my plan to Josh, and he was furious. Josh didn't want me to put my health at risk, and he didn't want Carrie's future in jeopardy. Two parents with only one kidney each isn't desirable. I wasn't thinking clearly, and I didn't want to myself or Carrie to be without Josh. I even went behind his back and visited his doctor. I organized to be tested again and ensured I would be approved as a donor. Without anyone knowing, all the arrangements were in place, and all that was needed was Josh to agree."

"You did all that? How did no one know? You constantly have a CPO on you due to your father's wishes." Craig queries.

"I was just determined I guess. Then one day the doctor's office rang the house, but I wasn't here. Since I was donating my kidney to Josh, who answered the phone, the nurse said too much, and he found out everything. Worse still was the fact that my father and brother were at my house. They had been modifying the next Grey Men annual trip, so Josh could attend regardless. Carrie, my mother, Lily, Macie and I were out on a girls day, and when we arrived home, they were furious! I had never seen them like that. Macie and Carrie were told to go upstairs, and then Lily and my mother were educated on my action plan."

"Damn, they must have really let you have it." Craig comments.

"Oh yeah. We went into the study and closed the doors so if the girls came down they wouldn't overhear what was happening. My parents, brother and sister-in-law, all alternated between scolding me, yelling at me and talking softly to get me to see reason. Josh sat in the middle of my family, but he didn't say anything and he never once took his eyes off me. My father was thermonuclear, but it was the look that Josh was giving me that actually had the biggest impact." I take a couple of deep breaths and shake off these old feelings.

"What bought everyone's tirade to an end?" Craig asks.

"Josh did. He stood up, told everyone to leave and to let us talk in private. Ted and Lily left the house with Macie but only after we agreed to ring them and update them with what was decided. My parents refused to leave, so they had dinner with Carrie, organized her bath and then put her to bed for us. Josh and I then had the worst argument ever. He told me I was being irrational and needed to be healthy for our daughter, and I told him that he was just letting himself die without fighting hard enough. We argued for so long, until we reached a stalemate. I had said everything I could think of as did Josh. Well at least I thought so, he had one more thing to say." I stop again, to maintain my composure. Actually I glad that I can retell the story without getting overly emotional, but it has taken time to get to this point.

"Keep going, but only if you can and want to." Craig's voice is sympathetic, and I feel like I can tell him anything,

"I can keep going" I advise him. "When we were finally alone, Josh got up and sat next to me. He looked me in the eyes and then kissed me. We sat in silence for a few minutes and then he finally said the one thing that would end the argument, 'No'. He wouldn't let me go through the procedure, and he wouldn't agree to partake. It's hard to donate a kidney to someone who won't take it." I surmise.

"Josh was just loving you," Craig says.

"I know, but I was so furious at Josh, nonetheless. It was the first night we both slept in our house but not together. I locked our bedroom doors and went to bed alone. It was a solid five days before I let him back into our bedroom, and that's the end." I take a long breath out glad that I have finished that story.

"Now tell me a really happy memory." Craig beckons me.

"Are you sure you want to hear all this?" I ask

"Yes. I want you be one hundred percent sure that you can talk to me about anything and that I respect your past with Josh." Craig confirms.

"We had so many happy memories. Practically every day was happy." I state

"Just chose one."

"When I was about seven months pregnant, I came home one day, and I was exhausted. Working fulltime and being pregnant was taking its toll, but I was determined to work for the remaining two weeks until I started my official maternity leave. I was too stubborn to admit, but my schedule was too much for me to handle. I don't know how he managed it, considering his work load at the time, but Josh took an immediate two week break from work. He got up in the morning, showered with me, ate breakfast with me, then came to work with me, helped me and then drove me home, fed me dinner and put me to bed. Josh looked after me around the clock. Nothing was too much or too little for him. He did everything just so I wouldn't have to give in." I grin at the memory of Josh sitting on the floor of my office to massage my feet. He was capable of so much love and care.

"Now I know that isn't the most exciting story, but it was so Josh. He made very happy and cared for me." I conclude.

"You deserve to be cared for. Always. Even now. Thank you for talking to me." Craig states

"You're welcome. Josh would have liked you." I inform him.

"I doubt he would have like the things I would like to do with you" Craig smiles a little and then leans back.

"I have only ever had one partner." I feel my cheeks burn as I confess my sexual history.

"I have had two partners, my ex-wife, Isabel, and my college girlfriend, Penelope" Craig admits to me.

"Really? For some reason, I thought you would have had more partners. You had girls hanging off you in high school, and you weren't exactly discouraging them. My friends and I thought you were a bit of a player" I accidentally say out loud and regret my poor choice of words. "Sorry that was a little upfront wasn't it"

"It was, but not entirely untrue. However, since you started it, then tell me have you been with anyone since Josh passed away?"

"No, " I admit.

"Why? I am surprised that men aren't lined up at the door." The astonishment in his voice is clearly apparent.

"You flatter me," I say smiling. "I guess I was in mourning, then I have just focused my time on Carrie and work. It hasn't left much time for much else" I review. I suddenly remember the pain I felt when we lost Josh and how I never thought or wanted, I would be with another man.

"I know you miss Josh and part of you will always love him. The thing is that you are not discrediting his memory by moving on and being with other men. Even Josh told you to find new love and to share your life with someone before he passed away."

"How do you know about that?" I wonder. Did Lily tell him?

"Carrie told me" Craig admits.

"My daughter?" I ask to clarify.

"Yes, your ten year old daughter."

"I think I need to have a chat to Carrie." I say shaking my head softly.

"Phoebe, please don't be hard on her. Carrie just wants you to be happy, that is all." Craig requests. "Why else have you not been with anyone, beside the reasons you have told me"

"I guess no one else has come up to scratch." I reason.

"No one," Craig says trying to cover his emotions.

"No one… until now" I admit. I smile shyly at Craig as a large smile forms on his face.

Craig caresses my cheek softly with his knuckles before he commences to kiss me. He is so gentle, but I need something more than that. I twirl my fingers into Craig's loose curls, and start to kiss him passionately. I climb over him and rest my body on his.

"Do you have to go home tonight?" I inquire softly.

"No," Craig says shaking his head.

"Do you want to stay the night?" I whisper.

"With you?" Craig asks.

"Yes"

"Best offer I have ever had"

So I am not sure if I will write any more bonus chapters..IF I did anymore, what would you want to read about? Something about Ted when he was young? Ana and Christian? Craig and Phoebe? Ted and Lily? please not the IF!