Chapter XXI
16th February 1943
Dear Diary,
I'm writing in here with the most beautiful news and I am still crying with joy over it!
When Daria sent us the telegram saying that we shouldn't worry about Gil and that she would put him back together in no time, she was more than right! Gilly is fully recovered now and a week ago he passed the tests and tomorrow he is going back to the front but no, no that's not the news yet. The news is is that exactly three days ago he married Daria, in Amsterdam, near the hospital where they met.
Yes, my brother is a married and a grown-up man! I cannot believe it yet but I am immensely happy for him! And for Daria too! Everyone is very much delighted with the news of their marriage but then how can we all not be?
They got married three days ago and for those three days they rented out a small hotel room in Amsterdam, and are spending those few days with one another, enjoying their "honeymoon in Europe" as Gilly wrote in his yesterday's telegram. Oh, I so wish we were all there for their wedding but I know that everything happens for a reason and I am very glad indeed that they got married because I know that they're both happy. The telegram Gilly sent us those three days ago said exactly: "Happiest day in my life. Married Daria this morning." and today we got a letter he wrote to us a week and a half ago.
He did plan it all! He did plan to ask Daria to marry him before he would be sent back to the front and because of that he wrote to our parents: "If you'll receive a telegram saying that we got married, then could Daria please come to the old Prince Edward Island and stay there with all of you until I come back?" and of course Dad immediately wrote him back saying that, of course, we will all welcome Daria with our open arms.
Gil said that he is worried about her. Firstly because she is in Europe and therefore in the centre of war. That is why he wants her to go away from that place and from all the very unfortunate possibilities that can meet her there (I agree with him on that entirely). Additionally, he knew for a while now that Daria is exhausted with work in the hospital and also that she truly needs a home, a true home with people who will love her and whom she will love back while waiting for him, for her husband to come back from the front. He has such a big heart, our Gil does. I am so proud of him because of that.
I can't wait to meet my new sister! My new sister! Mrs Ford! Oh, I am so excited! The House of Dreams won't be as lonely as it's been for the past three years! And I can just feel that Daria and I will be bosom friends, we can't not be, with Gilly being the person we both love so much. She's to come to Canada in April, that's the time her hospital let her leave her position and so we'll patiently wait for her. That is when we'll meet her! Hmm… She'll be my sister. My first sister.
I wonder if Mum is having a girl or a boy? I sometimes wish she was having a girl, I would love to dress her in those sweet dresses and later braid her hair! But I don't mind if it's actually a boy, it will be wonderful either ways. For now, Mum is resting obediently, reading books and listening to how I play for her (and for my future brother or sister at that!) and she's glowing more than… more than… Well, I've actually never seen her glowing like that before. Dad said that this is how she always looks like when she's awaiting her new "arrival". And the look he had in his eyes when he said that… I really do think that this month has been one of the happiest in the war years so far.
Oh! And I haven't even written in here about everyone's reaction to the big news of my Mum's! Well, what can I say apart from the fact that everyone is bursting with joy and anticipation awaiting the upcoming July which seems so far away now! Grandpa Gilbert is almost overly protective of Mums which drives her crazy, but so is Uncle Jem who then doubles the madness which, in all fairness, makes us all laugh for Mum turns entirely red whenever they try to make her as comfortable as they can by putting the fifth pillow under her back.
Grandma Anne is also very much protective when it comes to my Mum. She uses cooking as her tool for all of us and she also comes over to knit even more often than she used to. Of course, though, we are all a bit overly protective over Mummy's pregnancy because of her age because that puts her in a rather fragile position even though she doesn't think so at all.
Grandparents Ford are over the moon and both Gil and Selwyn are simply ecstatic, "a positive heavenly feeling" Selwyn experienced upon hearing the news, he wrote. I can't wait for them to come home and see their new brother or sister once the war is over! Auntie Una is a big help with cooking as well and both she and Mum have the best conversations each evening. Dad and I never disturb them. Auntie Una is also planning her wedding to Liam very slowly but most definitely and I can't express how wonderful it is to see her so happy and smiling so much! And I am to be a bridesmaid!
Like I said already, this month is one of the most wonderful of the last almost four years of the war…. Four years in September! Will it ever end? It has to one-day but just when? The last war was on for four years so maybe this one will be mirroring it in this way? I greatly hope so. We need more goodness in this world, we really do, and hope and happiness.
Vance recently shared with me the state of her feelings for my brother Selwyn. They are getting stronger and she is certain that he is the one for her. They write to each other all the time (I sometimes think that she gets more letters from Selwyn than I do! Which I don't mind, I am only happy for them to be such great friends.) Vance recently went quite crazy. She sews all the time and sends him different things she has made herself. Her letters to Selwyn are long, very long. She sends him all the leaves she can find, the branches, everything which could remind him of home and I hate myself for haven't thought about doing something like that myself. I did send him a flattened flower a few times before, but I don't have this ritual which Vance has; to actually put something into the envelope each time.
She's scared of course, she's scared that something might happen to him or that he doesn't share her feelings. Of course, she doesn't want to tell him through a letter about her love for him for she knows that that's the last thing she wants him to think about whilst being at the front and possibly trying to figure out how he feels about it all himself. So her goal is to simply "make his thought out there as beautiful as they always used to be". I am grateful for her. Very, very much. And proud of her too. She is always so shy and never talks a lot and so when I see her sending a completely packed envelope with "Second Lieutenant Selwyn Ford" written on its surface, I smile and kiss her cheeks hurriedly, thanking her because it was more than once when Selwyn himself said that Vance is truly the friend he always wanted to have during school but never actually did.
Essen was bombed this month. Nuremberg was bombed too. Shoe rationing started in Phillip's country… Phillip… I miss him so much it hurts! But the good news is that he is coming to the Island (finally!) next month for the whole week! Apparently, he has a surprise for me, and I cannot work out what it could be, no idea whatsoever. So I will have to wait to see it, which is very exciting indeed.
Now, I know that I've left the case of Seb at the end of this diary entry and I did it on purpose because it weighs quite heavily on my shoulders and my chest and I don't give it much time to think about during the day because well… I just don't want to think about it at all. It's all so frustrating and confusing…
We write to each other but there is no love in those letters anymore. Whenever I sit down and try to write a proper love letter to him, like I could do very easily only a few months back, I just… can't. I can't find the right words, I don't know how to write that kind of letter anymore! He stopped writing to me those kinds of letters as well, a month ago almost which really seems like a year to me. I am actually quite angry at him, to be honest, not even saddened like I was at the start. I'm never angry at anyone or anything but right now I must admit that I am, not a lot but slightly. I stopped wearing that gold bracelet he gave me for Christmas, I don't wear any more of the jewellery he gave me, it only brings me an even deeper melancholy.
I shall simply wait to see what the future will bring, I suppose.
And, of course, there's my dear Jo with her enormous stomach, awaiting the arrival of her own baby. She's very excited but also terrified of giving birth, she even had nightmares about it, she said. Grandpa Gil and Uncle Jem are constantly reassuring her that both she and the baby are doing perfectly fine and that she will be fine as well and will do splendidly but she is worried and frightened all the same. It's a matter of days now, we all know that much.
It's so strange to think that Jo's baby will be older than my sibling-on-the-way! Oh, it would be so splendid if Jo had a girl and Mum had a girl and they would have a friend in one another for always. Or if Jo had a boy and Mum had a boy and then both of them could be "pals" as they say, for forever as well. Such excitement in such a painful and a horrific time is almost scary to experience, isn't it?
I have a lesson to teach in about half an hour so I must be going now.
I'll try to write in here sooner, but I am terribly busy at the moment!
Yours,
Hester
It was an early Monday was only the hardly visible beginning of a new sunrise of a new day and Hester was rushing through the snow with a very quickly put on sweater and trousers. Her black hair was all over the place but out of her face as the cold wind of the last week of February was brushing her face instead, making her cheeks all full and rosy.
Finally, when she thought she would never see it, she saw the Honey Cottage and the lights burning in Jo's room. Her own heart was beating nervously and the fact that she was almost running through the thick and heavy snow wasn't calming to her at all.
Now she was eventually at the doorstep and she allowed herself to pant breathlessly while she started knocking furiously at the door. Within a few seconds, she heard Jerry springing down the stairs shouting: "It's open!" and so she pushed the door only to look into the flushed face of her uncle halfway up the stairs, smiling widely at her "It's almost over, Hester! Hurry up, dear!" he said to her and she pulled the coat and a scarf off her right on the floor and ran up the stairs following Jerry up to the room of Jo's.
It was almost steamy inside. That was the first thought which crossed Hester's mind when she entered the room. Her face was flushed with an even deeper shade of red then. Her heart was on the edge of exploding when she saw Jo lying in her bed with the white sheets blotched with redness of her own blood, screaming her heart out. Nan was sitting by her daughter's side and held her hand, weeping while still smiling and whispering to Jo everything she needed to hear. Yet Hester knew that Jo didn't hear a single word of her mother's as she was focusing on Jem who was giving her instructions on when to push and for how long.
Hester looked around her, Jerry took his seat next to Nan and motioned to Hester to sit at the other side; the chair was already waiting for her there. Hester hurried on Jo's left, smiling knowingly at Nan who smiled back just as radiantly and then looked back at her fiery daughter who even though had no make-up on her face, for once, looked still beautiful despite trying her hardest to push out an entirely new human being from her stomach into the world.
Hester took her seat quickly and then she took Jo's hand in her own. She put a wet strand of Jo's hair behind her ear and Jo suddenly looked at Hester, almost shocked to see her, as if she forgot who she was "Hester!" she exclaimed breathlessly, evidently awaiting another contraction to appear "I'm so happy you're…" and then she started to moan in pain again.
"Of course, I came, Jo." Hester told her with a smile and squeezed her hand gently "You're doing splendidly."
"Yes, you are, Jo." Jem said to her from behind a white sheet "Your baby will make his or her appearance with only one more push, dear." he told her and it was as if everyone, including Jo herself, stopped breathing entirely while being faced with that eerie yet a wonderful reality. Jo started pushing with all her natural power and just as suddenly Jem's hands were holding a perfect, little and chubby… "It's a girl!" he laughed aloud joyfully with a huge smile upon his face whilst he was putting the crying baby in the towel and then straight into Jo's expectant and open arms.
It was a beautiful sight. A new baby in her mother's arms, the arms that trembled with emotions of eternal happiness and just as equal feeling of exhaustion. At the same time, the sunrise announcing a new day and a new beginning was shining through the window right at the two of them, creating a sacred atmosphere. It seemed to Hester that those few seconds of holiness were expanded to hours.
That was when Hester realised that she was weeping herself, and not a little, but that her cheeks were actually pedestals for the small waterfalls running down them. "Oh, Jo!" Nan and Jerry started to kiss their only daughter on her flushed and sweaty face which glowed with such joy Hester never saw on any of the faces of people she knew. Now she knew that that was something she quite couldn't understand herself yet but also that was something of which she dreamt, and that was the sweet taste of motherhood.
Jo kissed her parents back and then looked down onto the bundle in her arms, her own cheeks wet with her tears "Oh, she's so perfect!" she gasped between sobs "So tiny! My little angel!" she kissed her daughter's forehead while the baby cried in her mother's shaking arms "I promise that I'll try to be the best mum." she whispered and Hester squeezed Jo's hand harder and Jo looked at her for a moment with a smile which said more than needed to be said.
"You already are, my darling." Nan said with an unmeasurable amount of pride in her eyes "We're so proud of you." she looked over at her husband who looked back at her and they both shared a knowing smile which then was directed at their daughter.
"Very much." Jerry echoed with wet cheeks of his own.
"The first baby of the new generation!" Jem reappeared behind Hester and started to look down at the small baby he brought into this world with his own hands "Jo, do you have a name for this new princess?" he asked her with a grin.
Jo looked at each of the people in the room and finally set her eyes on the little baby in her arms who quietened down a bit and now was opening and closing her hands, causing Jo to gasp with delight "I do have a name." she whispered decidedly with the brightest smile Hester had ever seen appear on her friend's face "Fleur Hester Sutton." she looked up at Hester slowly whose mouth suddenly dropped "For my very first bosom friend." Jo's eyes filled with tears all over again as she smiled at Hester whose own eyes were already overfilled with not only tears but happiness too.
"Oh, Jo, you don't have to…" she started but Jo squeezed Hester's hand to stop her.
"I know but I want to." she assured her and then looked down at her bundle of joy "And she does look like Fleur Hester, don't you, my little flower?" she said to her daughter and little Fleur Hester sneezed gracefully and everyone laughed merrily.
"Jo, I will take little baby Fleur and weigh her, if you don't mind." Jem opened his arms to take the bundle and Jo reluctantly gave her daughter to her uncle, a smile never leaving her face.
"I do mind but I can't do anything about it." she chuckled and so did the people around her.
"I'll bring you something to drink." Nan said energetically as she kissed her daughter on the head and raised from her seat swiftly "I'll be right back, darling."
"Not going anywhere, mum." Jo reassured her with a smile and Jerry offering that he'll bring the cot into the room now, also left the room quickly.
"Jo, you were wonderful." Hester said to her friend with wonder and amazement in her voice "I'm so proud. And I can't wait to read the letter John will send you about having a little niece of his own!"
Jo chuckled at the thought and then looked at Jem in the corner, measuring and cleaning little Fleur who was fussing sweetly "I can't wait either, Hester." she whispered and then put a hand on her cheek, sighing in contentment "Hester, I'm a mother now." she said with awe in her eyes.
"Yes, you are." Hester agreed happily "And one of the best ones I know." and right there she and Jo shared a long glance of their everlasting friendship.
"Thank you, for everything." she said finally.
"I thank you, Jo." Hester said to her, squeezing Jo's hand in her own "And don't worry, I'll be there for you, whenever you'll need me."
"I know you will." she said gratefully "And that is why you have a namesake now." she looked over at Jem who was putting little baby Fleur onto the weight carefully, telling her quietly of some imagined stories of his.
Hester followed Jo's gaze and smiled at her namesake, the little Fleur Hester. Her heart filled with a sudden leap of joy mixed with a yearning she never knew she'd have at her young age. She squeezed Jo's hand once more knowing that even though her friend hardly felt it but Hester didn't mind at all, they knew how much they loved one another and now also the little baby who was already more welcomed in their family than she could know.