A/N: So I have been accused of writing too much sad chapters lately. This one is a mixture. The next chapter I have some very happy memories planned. So consider yourself warned.
Comradeship
Teds POV: Ted learns about Josh's failing health. Exploring the scene of how Josh would have told his best friend that he is dying.
"I think being married to my little sister has ruined your golf game." I gloat. I can't help it. Josh's game has always been better than mine, but he seems to be getting worse or I better. I wish it were the latter, but it's not.
"Don't bet it on it, Grey. All I need to do is get this ball into the hole, and I win. How many times have I beaten you at golf? Is it one or two billion?" Josh responds returning my mock. Damn, I might have spoken too soon. He is going to get this in. He lines up the ball and hits it, but misses. What? They shot was elementary. Josh aims the ball again and misses it once more and then the third time. It isn't until the ball is inches from the hole, which he sinks it.
I take my shot and sink it. I won. For the first time I bet Josh at golf, and we have played more games than I can count. Josh's head isn't in the match. It is so out of character.
"You win. Let's go to the club house. I need some water and coffee. I will buy you a beer." Josh declares. This is our standard bet. The loser buys the winner a drink and time permitting lunch. I have purchased a lot of lunches as a result.
"I prefer a hot drink." I often refrain from drinking alcohol when it is just the two of us. Josh can't consume alcohol due to his kidney transplant, and it seems rude to do so in front of him on a one to one basis. We have a lot of memories of us sitting around drinking a beer, but it's not the drinks that are important. "Though Harris you are still buying and I am in the mood for some lunch. Since this is the first time I have won, I think I will have the big steak with all the sides or the Lobster. Get you back for all the times I have had to buy your lunch here after I lost. Oh wait I almost forgot"
"What's that?"
"I need a photo of you on this very momentous occasion. I might even make it my Christmas card this year. The day Theodore Grey triumphed Joshua Harris at golf."
"Don't get too cocky Grey."
"I can't help it. It's a family trait."
I grab a table, overlooking the course and relax. Life is good. Talk about being fucking lucky! My marriage is as exciting and wonderful as it was the day I married Lily. Eli and Ruby are doing brilliantly. Eli is at Harvard studying economics and business with the intent to joining Grey enterprise after graduating. Ruby is at Stanford and only a couple of hours away by jet which suits me to a 'T''. Macie is my little princess. She is excitable, chatty and we couldn't love her anymore. She is joined at the hip with Carrie and most of the time Emma, Ava's daughter. Emma is more of a Tomboy and usually far busy playing sports; however, at family events and some weekends, the three girls are always up to some mischief. In fact, while us guy are golfing, our daughters are out shopping with Christian and Ana. Emma was supposed to attend but her grandfather Elliot got tickets to an international sports game and has taken her to that.
"Did you just receive a text message or a call?" Josh asks returning to the table with the drinks. I shrug. My phone is still on silent from when we were playing golf. I check it, and there is a missed call from Lily. I also have a text message from Macie that she sent to both Lily and me.
'Dad and mom, grandpa is going to ring you. Please say yes! I will do anything! Love you both. Macie.'
Lily has also sent me a message saying that she just talked to my dad and is happy to say yes as long as I am. I shrug unsure what she is talking about exactly.
"Phoebe just phoned me. She just got a call from Christian and Ana. The girls have just arrived at the sound from shopping this morning, a trip that likely means they will need a bigger closet.."
"A need my father is probably already looking into" I joke, interrupting Josh and making him laugh.
"Ain' that the truth. Christian has just proposed to take the girls down watch the premier of the stage Musical of that new Disney movie they love to watch... what's it called again? I have started to tune out when it comes to Disney princess's movies."
"Summer Princess." I groan. It's the typical Disney princess movie.
"Yep, That's the one."
"Okay, I am cool with that, though I wasn't aware of any new stage show opening up. My junior executive assistant loves Disney and has a daughter of similar age. She usually tells me about it months in advance."
"You have an assistant that keeps you informed over Disney?" Josh's voice gives away how shocked he is.
"Yes. You mean yours doesn't." I act as if this is the norm.
"For starters, I only have one assistant, as opposed to you. Second, she tends to focus on my correspondence, my appointments and notifies me of my court dates. I don't think I can add, report on the latest Disney shows to her job description."
"Come and work at the legal department at Grey house and I can change that."
This is an offer I have made several thousand times over the years. Josh's legal knowledge and expertise would make him a valuable asset. He could do the work of five of the lawyers employed in the legal department.
"You couldn't afford me." Josh challenges me.
"Name your price!"
"No. I doubt that I would get any work done. I would be too busy eyeing off your COO." I roll my eyes. I have long since accepted and supported my best friend's relationship and marriage to Phoebe, the COO of Grey enterprise, but to think of them together... physically... it still unnerves me a little.
"Going back to Christian and Ana offer, you're right there are not any premiers or Disney shows showing at the moment in Seattle, but there is in California. Your overly indulgent father wants to fly the girls down, take them to the theatre and has suggested, since they will be in the area, they ought to go to Disneyland tomorrow and stop over to see Ruby before flying back. They promise to have them back in a couple of days, maybe three, but at least a few days before they recommence school."
"Sounds like my father. Are you and Phoebe saying yes?"
"As if Christian Grey would accept no as an answer and I don't favor having to deal with an unhappy, and grumpy seven year old for the next three days straight. Besides I need some quiet time with Phoebe."
"Okay TMI! Man that is my baby sister you are referencing. I don't need visuals."
"Ted, that's not what I meant. I have to talk to Phoebe. It's going to be hard. It is likely to hurt her. Phoebe is going to be upset." Hurt? Upset? I quickly switch from best friend to protective brother.
"Oh fuck man, what is going on? I swear if you have hurt her I will be the first one to throw a punch at you. Don't tell me you have done something. Not after everything." Regardless of my threat, deep down I know this isn't the case. Josh loves Phoebe like crazy. He practically worships the ground she walks on. Josh would cut his own arm off before hurting Phoebe.
"No, I would never do anything intentionally to hurt her. I love Phoebe. She is my world along with Carrie."
"Okay, then what is it? Maybe I can help."
"I do need your help. A lot of it to be honest."
"Name it." I sit up and move towards the edge of my chair ready to listen and willing to devise a plan of action.
"You are going to have to be there for Carrie. Scare off any fucker that even looks twice at her, maybe even once." I cock my head to the side. That was a party comical, partly serious request Josh I agreed to when Carrie was born. I am her godfather and Uncle after all. There is something off. Something is not right.
"Josh what you are not saying. What is happening or happened?"
"My transplant, the life span of it, it's coming to an end. They never last forever. I have been lucky with the extra time I received. I got to marry Phoebe, make the most beautiful memories and have the most incredible daughter. I got to see Carrie grow and watch her personality develop. Since Phoebe and I will be alone tonight for few days, I will tell her. It will give us time to talk, think everything out and decide how to proceed. My doctors don't know exactly how long I will have. I am going to have to go back on dialysis, eventually. They have mentioned that they doubt I won't have more than a year."
All the air leaves me lungs. I can't speak. I fight the tears that are growing. Man up Grey. There is no way that Josh is going to want to see me cry.
"Surely there is something that can be done. We can get you to any doctor, facility...anything! What about a new donor? Twenty percent of transplants are repeated."
"There is a low chance of finding a match. No one in my family is a match except my father, and he already gave me one of his. I have seen my specialist here and even my old one in New York, when I went out there a couple of weeks ago. They are the best that there is. Christian has been quite instrumental in ensuring I always had the best medical attention. It made a difference but it was never a guarantee. Phoebe and I knew what could happen. We knew the risks.
"Hang on you just said you say your New York specialist a couple of weeks ago? How long have you known?"
"Just over two weeks. "
"What the fuck. You have known for a fortnight and haven't told Phoebe, who is your wife, or me, your best friend?"
"I needed to find the right time. When it's just you and one, and a time when it's just Phoebe and I. It just happened that these two opportunities have coincided on the same date. I tried to tell you last week, but Phoebe and Lilly were around with the kids, then the Greys came over. Carrie had a sleepover at a friend's house from school several days ago, and I intended on telling Phoebe then. However, she decided to surprise me with a romantic evening, when I got home that day. I couldn't do it to her or me. The minute I tell Phoebe I am sick again is the turning point; it means that part of our lives becomes focussed on my disease. Part of our joyful, fruitful and loving lives is lost. Worst of all my disease is going to become part of Carrie's childhood. I hate it. I hate that my wife is going to have to go through this again and my child is going to have memories of my being sick, and there is little that I can do."
"We can help. Let us help. We, the whole family, can be there. We can keep everything as normal as possible, especially for Carrie." I now from now on that this is going to have to be a priority. I need to talk to Lily but know she will come to the same conclusion. My wife is amazing at coming up with solutions and options in situations like this. She considers Carrie, her fourth child.
"Ted there is more. I am making you the executor of my will. I don't want Phoebe to have to worry about all that when the time comes, and I don't trust anyone else more than you. I have made provisions for Carrie; I have left some money to a few charities and my sister in New York. There is my life insurance money, which will go to Phoebe, though we once discussed allocating the policies payout into a fund for Carrie or her trust fund. I will need to talk to Phoebe about that. Except that particular, it is all water tight. It won't be difficult to coordinate."
"Of course. Anything you need or want. I mean that. Just say it and I will do it or get it. Just don't be scared to ask."
We are interrupted by Joshua's cell phone. His smile reaches his eyes when he sees the caller ID. I know who it is. "Hi, Phoebe... Yeah, I am at the clubhouse just having some lunch. It looks like we are having a blue moon tonight... because Ted won at golf by one or two balls... I know. He probably won't ever let me forget it... Sure. I will be home soon... Love you too."
"Phoebe said that if you gloat over and over about this the next time we all have dinner together, then she is going to add some secret ingredients to your dinner and possibly something in your coffee at work." I grin knowing my sister she would do it, but the moment of humor is short-lived. It feels wrong to find joy in anything right now.
"I stand forewarned."
"We need to hurry and get home. Lily is over with Phoebe but is going home soon. I believe she is pretty excited about being able to spend some quiet time alone with you. Do you think you can still keep up with her? Lily gets more feisty and stronger as she gets older."
"Trust me there Josh; I can keep up." With those comments, everything returned to normal for us two. We kept talking about our usual conversation pieces and standard mocks. I knew this is what my friend needed, but at the back of my mind, I had to wonder how long I would get to have these moments.
I instruct my CPO that I want to drive and for him to take the passenger side. An uncommon occurrence when it just him and I. If I am driving it's usually because I am with Lily or/and the kids, while they follow. I break with protocol, desperate for the distraction.
I pass the car keys to my CPO and ask for him to park the car in the garage and take my clubs out for me. I enter my home. My perfect home that Lily and I bought raised our twins and now our youngest daughter. This home is our sanctity. I can't see Lily but find a rose on the side table that you see when you enter our home. I smirk. On the first evening alone after we become parents, I placed single red roses round the house, with small messages, telling her how much I loved her and eventually where I was. This single red rose has a short message 'in the bed room.'
I quickly move towards our bedroom, taking two steps at a time. Lily is lying on the bed, wearing a sexy black bra and stockings. Nothing else, except in her hand is a set of handcuffs. I never told her that it was my dad who gave them to me after an incident where I had to call Taylor to free me after she inadvertently trapped me.
"I thought we could use these.. Make good use of our time alone," Lily tells me salaciously. I rip off my clothes and take my wife. I pour everything I have into making her feel good, loved. I want her to know that she is my world.
# # ##
I lie on my side and stare at her. I take in every line, curve, and feature. Lily is perfect. She always has been. If something were to happen to her, I would be lost. Broken. Lily raises her hand and places it on my check.
"Ted, you have that 'v' between your eyebrows. You were so passionate when we were making love, but you look so troubled now. What's going on in my husband's brilliant mind?" I take Lily's hand and kiss each one of her knuckles. I have never been able to keep anything from my wife, nor have I wanted to. Though in this instance I wish I could maintain this secret for a little while. Saying it out loud to Lily makes it more real.
"Josh. He is sick again. He might be... He is dying." Lily places her hands on each side of my face, closes her eyes and when she opens them they are full of sadness. "They say men aren't supposed to cry. That we are to be strong and brave, but that is bullshit. We feel the same emotions. It fucking hurts!"
"Then don't be brave, not now at least. Not with me," And with those words, my tears that I have been forcing back burst. I cry. My best friend is going to die; my sister is going to lose her husband; my niece is going to miss her incredible dad and my children their beloved uncle.