A/N: Hi! So this fic is about teen Olitz and it's set in a treatment center. There are mentions of eating disorders, suicide, and depression. If any of those things trigger you, you might not want to read. If you want to read and feel yourself being triggered, please stop reading. I don't think I went to any particularly dark places, but it's not my place to judge or assume everyone can handle the same things.

June 2002 · Dorado Falls, Connecticut

Olivia turned up the volume on her black iPod, filling her ears with Lauryn Hill's "Ex-Factor," as she walked past the nurse's desk in the center of the Dorado Falls Treatment Center for Young Adults. She smirked at Tasha, the head nurse, as she stopped at the mail slots, quickly locating the one with her name on it. "What are you looking at?"

"An evil little bag of bones," Tasha replied, not looking up from her novel.

"Oh fuck off." Olivia thumbed through her mail, postcards from her friends as they vacationed in exotic summer locations, and stopped on her July issue of Seventeen magazine. "Ew. They're trying to bring back crimped hair."

"Blue eyeshadow too. It might as well be the 80's again."

Olivia smirked at her. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? A chance to relive your squandered youth."

"At least I wasn't in the looney bin." Tasha smirked at her novel.

"Well you're here now so I wouldn't really count it as a win," Olivia replied smugly, glancing over the counter at Tasha's book. "The Other Boleyn Girl? Is that new?"

Tasha nodded. "Yeah. Henry the eighth. Murder. Lust. Sacrilege. Suspected incest. Good stuff."

"Will you leave it in my box when you're finished?"

Tasha nodded again. "Leave me that James Patterson book you were reading."

Olivia tucked her magazine beneath her arm and continued walking. She stopped at the sight of boxes outside a recently vacated room. She wondered who was moving in as she looked into the room. Nothing gave her any ideas except a black hoodie draped over the back of the desk chair. She assumed from its size that it was a boy's hoodie but she wasn't sure. Lots of her clothes were oversized too, mostly to hide her gaunt figure, but also to keep her from permanently shivering. Even then, she wore a large tribal knit poncho that she'd taken from her mother's closet. It hung to her knees, but she didn't mind. With a long-sleeved shirt underneath it, she was as warm as ever.

"Hey." She turned and found herself facing the chest of a tall guy in a Nirvana hoodie. She looked up at his face, pleasantly surprised at his handsomeness. Lord knew they had enough average-looking guys around.

She gave him a half-smile. "Hey."

He stepped around her, throwing his black backpack onto the bed then stepped into the room's doorway to retrieve the box. Olivia watched him quizzically, wondering what he was in for. He looked too healthy to be an addict, and too composed to be generally crazy. She watched as he removed his hoodie and spotted the bandages on his wrists. She looked down at her own wrists, the scars barely visible now, then back at him. He had opened the box and removed his laptop, setting it up on the desk beside a stack of books. "I'm Olivia."

"Fitz," he replied, briefly glancing up at her.

Olivia stuffed her hands in the pocket of her poncho and smirked at him. "I take it you're a bit of a chatterbox."

Fitz finally stopped arranging his books and looked at her. He could see her thin frame swaddled in her huge poncho and black leggings, her black UGGs seeming almost comically large on her thin legs and small feet. But she was beautiful, her dark hair pulled up on her head in a loose knot, her large brown eyes boring into him. Her face was thin, almost gaunt, but he could see color in the apples of her cheeks and her pouty lips stood out invitingly as she smirked at him. "And I'm sure you're quite the wallflower."

"Painfully shy," she replied.

"Cool. Are you just gonna hang out in the doorway?"

Olivia shrugged. "House rules. You have to invite me into your space. It helps provide boundaries and establish autonomy."

Fitz smirked. "Seriously?"

Olivia nodded, leaning against the doorway. "It's supposed to teach us to assert ourselves. By treating our rooms as our own spaces that no one has the right to invade, we learn to treat our bodies and minds the same way."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Yes it does. Your body is yours and yours alone. You can let in unhappiness, drugs, razor blades, or whatever you choose. Or you can choose to protect it as your safe space. The choice is entirely yours. And since the majority of people here haven't treated their bodies as safe spaces, we're learning to do it with our rooms."

Fitz nodded. "Well come in."

Olivia walked into the room and perched herself on his bed, tucking one foot underneath her. He continued to arrange his things, leaving and returning with boxes that he emptied. He looked up when a school bell rang. "What's that?"

"Bell," Olivia replied as she stood. "It's just like school here. That one's for group. Then we have lunch."

Fitz put his hoodie back on and went to the desk to retrieve his silver iPod. "What happens in group?"

"We talk. They're gonna give you a journal that you have to write in sometimes. And every once in a while, you have to share. It's okay sometimes. Dr. B is cool, I guess."

Fitz followed her into the hallway and she led him to the group therapy room. A redhead and a brunette sat on one of the couches arranged in a circle facing a large leather armchair. They looked up when Olivia entered.

"Abby, Quinn, this is Fitz. He just moved in." She looked back at him and he nodded at them then went to sit on one of the couches facing them. Olivia smirked as she sat on the arm of Abby and Quinn's couch. "He's a big talker in case you didn't notice."

Abby smirked, looking him over appraisingly, then went back to her magazine. Quinn didn't look away from Fitz, staring at him with goo goo eyes. "Hey. Don't you go to Saxton?"

Fitz looked away from his iPod and shook his head. "I'm a junior at Jefferson."

"We go to Westchester with Liv. We're juniors too." She pulled her knees up to her chest and looked at Abby's magazine. "You should buy those. They'd be so cute on you."

Abby held up the magazine to show Olivia a picture of a blonde girl in jeans with intricately bedazzled back pockets. "Do you think these are cute?"

Olivia looked them over. "Maybe if they were a little darker. Light-wash jeans are over, especially in the fall."

Abby nodded. "The next time we get day passes, we should go try these on."

"I don't want to. My thighs are enormous," Quinn replied sheepishly, flipping the magazine's page.

"You can't compare yourself to us, you head case." Olivia rolled her eyes. "We're spindly, remember?"

"But these pills are making me so big." Quinn had been on antidepressants and sleep medication for a few months. Her weight gain was moderate, but she felt enormous next to Abby and Olivia.

"Try purging. Earn yourself another three weeks," Abby sneered.

Olivia scowled. She had been caught abusing coffee beans as laxatives and earned herself another 21 days in treatment. "Shut the fuck up, you scarecrow."

"Bite me, bitch," Abby replied.

"Girls." Fitz looked away from the girls on the couch to the room's doorway. An older woman with dark red hair stood in it, frowning at Abby and Olivia.

Abby frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," Olivia replied. She got up and joined Fitz on his couch, taking his iPod from his hands. She looked down at the screen. "I'm no good at cards."

"It's just blackjack," he replied. "You need 21 or as close as you can get."

He watched as she exited his game and went to his music. She looked up at him. "You like Van Morrison? Me too."

"What's your favorite song?"

"Ballerina." She took off her left boot and pulled up her legging to reveal a tattoo of a pirouetting figure.

"I like 'Into the Mystic'," he replied.

Olivia smiled, rolling her eyes as she shook her head. "So common."

"It's a classic." He took her iPod from her pocket and went to her music. "And who do you like?"

"Destiny's Child," she answered. She unhooked his headphones. "Let's switch."

"For how long?"

"Until breakfast." She took her iPod and went through the songs, finally stopping on one. "Listen to this one first. It's my favorite."

She hopped off the couch and returned to her previous seat. Fitz looked down at the screen of her iPod, wondering who Train was, and what "Drops of Jupiter" meant.

xxxxx

Olivia frowned at her macaroni and cheese as she sat at her lunch table. She had expected Fitz to sit with her but he had decided to sit with David, Stephen, and Harrison after they corralled him in the hallway after group. Abby ate her potato soup, a Vogue magazine open beside it, and Quinn held a grilled cheese sandwich in one hand and a novel in the other.

She sighed as she lost yet another hand of blackjack, wondering how he played such a nerve-racking game. She left the game and went to his music, thinking she'd find it much less frustrating. She was surprised at how much rap he listened to, and what good taste in it he had. She went to his "Frequently Played" playlist and put it on shuffle then put her earbuds in. She bobbed her head to the music, going back to the black jack game to see if she could master it.

"What's with you and the new guy?" Abby asked, looking at Olivia. When she realized her friend didn't hear her, she waved her thin hand in Olivia's face.

Olivia removed an earbud and looked at her. "What?"

"I asked what's with you and the new guy. He keeps looking at you like he wants you to come sit with him or something." Abby subtly jerked her head in Fitz's direction. Olivia looked up and found him glancing at her. He quickly looked away when their eyes met and Olivia could swear his ears reddened with blush.

Olivia smirked and looked back at Abby. She shrugged. "He's okay, I guess."

She quickly replaced her earbud and looked back at the iPod's screen, promptly cutting off any continuation of the conversation. After she finished the required amount of macaroni, she showed her plate to Mrs. Langston, the nurse who had made her apologize to Abby in group. Olivia went out to the patio and sat on the padded swing. She glanced at Fitz when he sat next to her a moment later but didn't say anything, leaving space for him to start a conversation. He reached into her pocket and took his iPod. Olivia watched him look through songs for a minute. "Do you like Oasis?"

"I've never heard of them," Olivia replied.

"They're really good. This is probably my favorite song of theirs. It's called 'Wonderwall'." He pressed play and Olivia leaned her head back and closed her eyes to listen to the song.

She sat up and opened her eyes when Fitz snickered. "What?"

"Nothing." She raised her eyebrows at his amused smile. "Just the way you listen to music… It's very official."

"Official?" She looked up at him with a smirk. "Are you making fun of me?"

He snickered again, running his hand through his hair. "Not exactly."

"Then shut up," she teased, resuming her previous position. She smirked when Fitz copied her. "Now you're definitely making fun of me."

She sat up and he did the same. He looked over at her. "So why are you here? Am I allowed to ask that or is it a boundary violation?"

Olivia pulled off her poncho and Fitz looked at her plain dark green long-sleeved t-shirt. "Isn't it obvious?"

Fitz blinked at her. "Should it be?"

At this, she lifted her t-shirt, showing him the almost skeletal frame she'd never let anyone else see. Fitz looked at her protruding collar bone, her small breasts, her ribcage, her flat stomach. He didn't want to assume she had an eating disorder, but he was guessing that it was what she was trying to tell him.

"So you throw up?"

Olivia frowned. "Tried it. Couldn't hack it. I don't eat at all. When you don't eat, you have nothing to purge."

"I couldn't do it. I mean, I know it's bad, but you have some serious willpower."

Olivia shook her head as she put her clothes back on. "It starts out as willpower. In the beginning, you pump yourself up by saying you're stronger than your appetite. By the end, it's worry. You couldn't make yourself eat if someone put a gun to your head. It's constant panic. You're starving but you can't eat anything because this might be the single bite—the single pound—that drives you completely crazy. Breakfast could be the meal that makes you gash open your thighs so the fat has nowhere to hide."

"That sounds terrifying."

She shrugged. "It's normal in ballet. Nobody eats. Everybody smokes. Coffee is a food group. And nobody tells you when you've gotten too fat. They just stop picking you for leads. They start offering you a second cigarette. They ask if you've tried the latest workout trend. And you realize you're a mansion among dollhouses. So you whittle and whittle until you've got nothing but bone left. Then you whittle a little more."

Fitz squeezed her thin knee. "So why do you do it?"

"I love to dance. I've never loved anything more. It's the only time I feel truly alive, like I'm a living breathing universe in and of myself." She smiled then, soft and sweet, and Fitz pulled a camera from his hoodie's pocket to snap her picture.

"Wow," he said when her image appeared on the display screen.

Olivia leaned over to see. She smirked at him. "Normally, I'd kill you for taking my picture when I look like a hobo, but that one's actually really pretty."

"This is your 'hobo' look? Two-hundred dollar snow boots and a designer sweater? Alright then."

She smiled, wrinkling her nose. "This isn't even my poncho. I stole it from my mom. And these aren't snow boots. They're surfer boots from Australia. And they cost $200 but they're very durable. They're an investment. And I resent label-shaming from someone wearing $150 Nikes and carrying a $300 Nikon in a kangaroo pocket."

"Touché." Fitz raised his hands in surrender. The bell rang and Fitz looked at her. "What's that one for?"

"It's free time. We can do anything so long as no one gets hurt."

"So we can climb the walls?"

"Assuming you won't fall and get hurt, yeah."

She stood and Fitz followed her into the building, headed for the activities room. Abby watched with a smirk, her Vogue open on her lap, as they disagreed on each board game. Olivia turned and held up a deck of cards. "Teach me black jack."

"We need something to bet, something like poker chips," he replied.

Olivia scurried to her room and came back with a bag of coffee beans. "Will these work?"

"Sure."

They sat at a table and Fitz shuffled the cards. "The key is calculated risks."

He dealt their cards and she looked down at them. "A face card is worth ten right?"

Fitz nodded and she looked over at his cards. He had an ace and one flipped card. "You can stand on ten or you can have another card."

"What about your cards?"

"I'm the dealer. You don't see my hand until you decide what to do."

"I think I'll take another card."

He dealt her another card, this one a five of spades. He flipped his own card revealing a six of clubs. "Now I've got 7, or 17 depending on what card I get next. Do you want to hit again?"

She nodded and Fitz dealt her a third card, this one a four of hearts. She looked up at him. "I should stand on 19, right?"

"Do you think you're lucky enough to get a 3?"

"Probably not. I'll stand."

Fitz dealt another card for himself, frowning when it turned out to be a queen of diamonds. "Damn I'm busted."

"So I win if you bust?"

"And I win if you bust or get closer to 21. And if we get the same number, it's a push." He slid her ten coffee beans. "Care to wager your winnings?"

"I suppose." She smiled. "Maybe I'm lucky after all."

They played until dinner, eventually moving up to betting secrets when Olivia got bored with coffee beans. Fitz would normally have never shared anything with anyone, least of all someone he'd just met, but he couldn't resist the way she looked at him.

XXXXX

One Week Later

As Fitz adjusted to life at the center, Olivia adjusted to life with a real friend. She liked Quinn and Abby, but she wasn't sure if they were friends because they were in treatment or if they had genuinely clicked. She didn't have to question her connection with Fitz. He made her laugh. He made her light. He made her feel like the girl she would have been if she hadn't spent so many years tallying stretch marks and pounds as reasons no one should get close.

She crept down the hall, squinting in the darkness to see if Tasha was at her station. She smiled when she found it vacant, guessing Tasha was on a snack run, and quickly passed to get to Fitz's room. She slipped inside, shutting the door behind her, and squinted at his motionless body on the bed. She could see his chest rising and falling as she neared him. She stood over him for a moment and considered his face. His eyelashes seemed much fuller laying on the apples of his cheeks, and his lips seemed fuller. She resisted the urge to kiss him, instead gently pushing his shoulder until his eyes opened.

"What?" he asked groggily as he made out her features in the dark room.

"Come hang in the common room," she replied, watching as he sat up and the covers fell away from his muscular chest. She could see that he had tattoos but she couldn't make out what they were. "But put on some clothes first."

Fitz smirked as he shuffled out of bed. He went to his desk chair and picked up a shirt that he pulled over his head. He turned to her. "What's going on?"

"Quinn, Abby, and I need a blood sacrifice for our coven and you're it." She grinned cheekily as she walked past him out the door. Fitz smirked and shook his head as he followed her.

He wasn't surprised to see the other residents sitting up in the common room. Olivia took her seat between Abby and Quinn then looked at Fitz. "Ever played Truth or Dare with a bunch of lunatics?"

"No, but when in Rome." Fitz shrugged and sat down next to David, a sophomore from Manhattan who was kicking his dependency on opiates.

Quinn smiled and spun the bottle. It landed on Harrison, a senior from their school with a similar dependency to David. "Alright, Harry, truth or dare?"

"I know better than to let you dare me to do anything, so truth," he replied.

"Is it true that you couldn't get it up with Shoshanna Evans last year at the homecoming dance?"

Harrison smirked. "I was so deep in the tank that I couldn't see straight. It's true but I resent her telling the story without the proper background information."

Olivia snickered as she spun the bottle. She frowned when it landed on Jake, a junior from Manhattan who didn't seem to have a reason for being at the center other than a terminal case of narcissism. "Alright, Jake, truth or dare?"

"Dare me baby," he replied with a smile.

Olivia gave a sour face. "I dare you to try to fit your fist in your mouth."

She smirked when his face lit up. "I can actually do that!"

They spent the next few minutes watching Jake fit all his fingers into his mouth. He frowned when he couldn't get past his second knuckles. Olivia smirked. "Let's move on."

Abby spun the bottle next. It landed on Fitz. "Truth or dare, new meat?"

"Uh, dare, I guess," Fitz answered, not sure what to make of her mischievous grin.

"Kiss Quinn on the lips," she replied, glancing at Quinn whose face promptly reddened.

"He really doesn't have to," Quinn squeaked, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Fitz looked from her to Abby. "I'm not gonna if she doesn't want me to."

Abby turned to Quinn. "But you want him to, don't you?"

Quinn wasn't sure how to answer once she caught sight of Olivia's frown. She wasn't sure what Olivia and Fitz had going on, only that she didn't want to get in the middle of it. She looked at Abby, wordlessly asking why the redhead liked to cause so much destruction, then back at Fitz, hoping he'd help her out. She wanted to kiss him, but not if it got her ostracized from Olivia's company. Both she and Abby had such volatile moods that she spent much of time dancing around their minefields of emotions, but Olivia was often much softer and more understanding with her than Abby.

Fitz sensed there was some tension brewing between the girls and spoke up. "Tell you what, I'll kiss you on the cheek and we'll call it even."

"That's not the dare," Abby protested weakly but Fitz was already moving towards Quinn. He pecked Quinn's cheek quickly then resumed his seat. Abby frowned.

Olivia frowned harder and reached for the bottle. She spun it hard, grinning evilly when it landed on Abby. "Truth or dare, Abby?"

Abby smirked, trying to hide her nervousness. She knew better than to pick dare at such a hostile moment. "Truth."

"Why are you such a bitch?" Olivia asked without missing a beat.

Abby's smirk disappeared, replaced by a frown. "Nobody pays me any attention unless I'm destroying something. Destroying myself is how I ended up here, and believe it or not, I was thankful because for once my parents noticed me."

Oliva's frown twitched. She had hoped for some snarky remark that could let her rightfully tear into Abby, but she hadn't expected such candid honesty. She squeezed Abby's knee. "We all notice you here. Stop being such a cunt all the time."

Abby gave a glimmer of a smile. "Cool. But this game is officially too heavy. Let's play something else."

"Let's play Spin the Bottle," Harrison suggested with a grin.

"There aren't enough girls," Olivia replied, smirking at him.

"I'll gladly sit out," David volunteered, scooting back from the circle. "I'm beat anyway."

Everyone bid him goodnight and he left. Jake grinned at Olivia as he grabbed the water bottle. "Well, I guess it's just us scary kids."

"You got the scary part right." Quinn smirked.

Jake spun the bottle and it landed on Fitz, who smirked. "You're nice Jake, but no thanks. I don't think our relationship has progressed there just yet."

"Would it help if I bought you flowers?" Jake replied with a snicker. He shrugged and handed Fitz the bottle. "Your spin."

Fitz found himself actually praying as he spun the bottle, hoping it landed on Olivia. Abby was nice and certainly pretty, and Quinn was cute too as well as giving him goo goo eyes, but he had been thinking about kissing Olivia for a whole week. He held his breath as it came to a stop in front of Abby who smirked at him.

"Pucker up, handsome," she teased as she got on her knees, leaning across the small circle to set her face before his. Fitz took hold of her face before she could move any further and kissed both her cheeks. Abby smirked harder when he let her go. "Well that was a tease."

"I've gotta keep you wanting," Fitz joked, glancing at Olivia.

Abby took the bottle and spun it, laughing when it landed on Olivia. "I guess it's your spin, Liv, unless you'd like to kiss me."

Olivia chuckled, shaking her head as she stood. "I think I'm gonna turn in."

Everyone bid her goodnight and she left the common room, frowning because she knew no one could see her face. She was jealous, almost nauseously so, of Abby and Quinn. She wasn't sure what she and Fitz were, but she couldn't stomach the idea of Fitz liking someone else. It made her sicker than mayonnaise.

She was almost to her room when someone tapped her shoulder. When she turned and found Fitz, she quickly made her expression unreadable. Fitz looked down at her, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "What's up?"

"I was just checking on you. You left kind of suddenly and I wanted to make sure you're okay," he replied. Olivia smirked internally, wondering why he had to be so cute at the moment she was trying to be angry with him.

"I'm fine." Her lips curved into an icy smirk and she was momentarily thankful that aloofness was second nature to her.

"Are you sure? I thought you might have been upset about that whole kiss thing with Abby and Quinn." He blushed and looked at his shoes, clearly embarrassed.

Olivia shrugged. "Why would I be upset? You're not my boyfriend. We're barely friends."

Fitz frowned, taking his hands out of his pockets then putting them back. "That's not true. We're…"

"We're what? Friends who've held hands? Friends who share music?" She was having a reluctantly good time needling him.

Fitz shrugged. "I don't know. We're something though. And I didn't want to kiss Quinn or Abby. You're the only person here I wanna kiss."

"What about other places?"

He shrugged after a moment. "I can't think of anyone else."

Olivia leaned back against the wall beside her door and looked at him expectantly. Fitz tentatively stepped closer and towered over her in a gentle, friendly manner that made her feel safe. He took hold of her face and gently pressed his lips to hers. Olivia wasn't sure if she was more overwhelmed by his soft, clean scent, or the gentleness of his lips against hers. She pressed her body to his, forgetting that she hated when people could feel her boniness, and tangled her fingers in his curls. He always smelled faintly of caramel. She didn't know why, but she hoped it never changed.

Footfalls broke into the haze of her mind. She pulled her mouth from his. "Someone's coming."

"So?" he replied.

"We're supposed to be good little drugged-up boys and girls in bed dreaming of stable minds."

Fitz smiled briefly at her sarcasm. Her sharp tongue knew no appropriate time to make its presence known. "But I might not get another chance to do this."

Olivia gave a glimmer of a smile as she caressed his cheek. "So little faith. Psychiatric care is supposed to make you optimistic, you know."

Fitz chuckled as the footsteps got louder. "Just one more kiss."

Olivia smirked, standing on her toes to kiss his lips, then disappeared into her room and shut the door. Fitz stood, dazed for a moment, before the footsteps got louder and a shadow appeared. He smirked when he saw it was David. David sneered at him standing before Olivia's door. "You just like trouble, don't you?"

Fitz shrugged. "All girls are trouble."

"Not like her. She's hell on wheels," David replied.

Fitz shrugged again, pushing off her door then turning in the direction of his own. "I'll be okay."

XXXXX

Three Weeks Later

Abby smirked as she watched Olivia and Fitz shyly link fingers as they walked a hiking trail behind Dr. Beene. "I don't think it counts as camping if we're within walking distance of the center."

"Your parents don't pay me thousands of dollars to let you roam. You were locked up for a reason," he replied, glancing back at her.

"I resent being subjected to the wilderness for no good reason," Olivia said, frowning at a mud puddle.

"You're out here to become one with nature," Tasha replied with a smirk. "As if that'll fix your bony ass."

"Do we really need tents? Can't we all just camp out under your mustache?" Olivia shot back.

"Keep talking and I'll make you a toothpick." Tasha bumped Olivia's thin hip with her fleshier one and Olivia laughed as she knocked into Fitz.

"Aren't you going to protect my honor? She's making fun of me." She pouted cutely at him.

"I would, but she's got the food supplies, Livvie." Fitz squeezed her thin hip with a smile.

xxxxx

After he heard Dr. Beene snoring loudly, Fitz slipped out of his sleeping bag and rolled it up then snuck out of his tent. He squinted in the darkness and smiled when he spotted Olivia a few feet away from the girls' tent, her own sleeping bag under her arm. She smirked at him as he neared her. "Where to?"

"On the other side of the trees," she replied, taking his hand and leading him around the small thicket of trees. She unzipped her sleeping bag and laid it out flat on the ground then lay on it, smiling when Fitz lay beside her and covered them with his own open sleeping bag. Olivia lay her head on his chest and smiled up at him. "This is much nicer than I thought it would be."

Fitz kissed the crown of her head. "This might be the best feeling ever."

"I bet I know something that feels better." She smiled shyly.

Fitz smirked. "I hope you're not trying to get in my pants. I'm saving myself."

"For what?"

Fitz snickered. "For the exact moment I'm in a sleeping bag with some crazy girl."

Olivia laughed as she straddled him. "Well lucky you."

Fitz laughed as he rolled them over. Olivia tangled her fingers in Fitz's hair to pull him in for a kiss. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, rolling each other over between the sleeping bags. Fitz groaned against her mouth as he tugged at the hem of her sweatshirt. Olivia whispered, "We can't get naked."

Fitz smirked. "I'm not sure if you're new to this but it's highly recommended that you be naked for it."

Olivia gave a smirk of her own. "Does this really seem like the kind of place we should get naked?"

Fitz glanced around. "Good point."

Olivia gave a gentle hum of pleasure as Fitz found a soft spot on her neck to sink his teeth into. He kissed and nibbled the spot, knowing he'd leave a mark, spurred on by her heels digging into the small of his back. They found an easy rhythm as they moved against each other, both using the other's mouth to muffle their moans. Olivia wasn't sure how loud they were, but she couldn't make herself care.

xxxxx

"So why are you here?" Olivia asked, her fingers absently travelling over the raised scar on Fitz's right wrist.

Fitz held her hand. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Well I know why you're here but I don't know why you're here."

Fitz sighed and frowned deeply. "I got tired, so tired. Haven't you ever been so tired you just decided to throw in the towel altogether? I was."

"And now?" She rested her chin on his chest to look at him in the moonlight. It made his eyes almost look silver as he lifted his head to meet her gaze.

"Now I know that problems are temporary. Suicide is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

"And what if your problem's not temporary? What if you're all messed up in the head like me?" She fixed him with a serious stare, searching for a chink in his armor.

Fitz stroked her hair. "Well how will you know what the rest of your life looks like if you jump right to the end?"

"I suppose I can take you up on that." Olivia lay her head back on his chest. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?"

"I think that ship has sailed, Livvie."

Her palm clapped his cheek, a whisper of a slap meant to hurt, but only causing him laughter. Her limbs were feathers. His palm in turn clapped the fleshy right orb of her bottom and she yelped then tugged at his hair. "I mean, when we're real adults. When we don't have supervision to make sure we aren't making nooses out of our bedsheets. When we can wear shoes with laces. When I can eat without a chaperone. When you can own a razor."

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I wasn't expecting to live past spring."

She looked up at him then and cupped his face in her small hands. She kissed his eyes, plucked the bittersweetness from them. He smiled, buried his face in the crook of her neck. "Well now that you're presumably going to live a long, what do you wanna be when you grow up?"

"I wanna be with you." He kissed the hollow of her throat.

She frowned at him. "That's codependent. We're not supposed to pin our hopes on other people."

"Well, I used to hate thing," he found his camera in the pocket of his discarded hoodie and held it up, "but now I wanna take it everywhere and take pictures of everything."

"You can come to Paris with me. I'm gonna go there and study jazz dancing. You can take pictures of me every day doing everything. I'll be your Josephine Baker."

"Jazz? You're quitting ballet?"

"I've never really liked ballet. My mother made me take it up. But Dr. B says I have to take the reins of my own life or I'll never recover. So when I graduate, I'm gonna take my college money and go to France to hone my dance skills."

"I could do France. Maybe I'll take up the piano again. We could make our own little jazz age happen." He smiled so bright. She'd take the sun and give it to him.

XXXXX

One Week Later

Fitz got a day pass and his parents graciously gave their old Honda Accord, reasoning that a drive through the country would do him some good. Olivia gobbled her meals without complaint and took to the scales with quixotic will, determined to get a little blue ticket too. She put on five pounds, thanks to pasta and turkey sandwiches, and didn't dream of splitting open her fleshy parts, thanks to Dr. Beene and Prozac. Instead she dreamt of the Connecticut autumn that was quickly coming upon them, the turning leaves and the gentle chill that beckoned his arms to protect her waifish form from shivers. She even wrote in her journal, talked about how the seasons were changing and she was too. She couldn't help but smile at the way Dr. Beene's eyebrows shot when she volunteered to talk in group. Everyone underestimated how badly she wanted to do something as normal as cruise around scenic nowhere with Lauryn Hill on the radio and his hand in hers.

A week passed and she got her wish, skipping to Fitz's room to shove the ticket in his face and demand to be taken out to lunch. Fitz smiled as he pulled her into his arms, lifting her off her feet. He planted a kiss behind her earlobe. "This is the first time I've held you and not been afraid I'd break you."

"I ate all my breakfast this morning, and it was really good." Olivia couldn't remember the last time food had tasted good and not made her think of jumping off the roof.

XXXXX

Three Days Later

"Brandy? Really?" Fitz smirked as he watched her bop around her room, throwing things into her knapsack.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Don't be elitist. You have a Vanilla Ice CD. I heard you singing along to 'Ice Ice Baby.'"

"That was a gift, and it isn't a terrible CD." He smiled as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Are you ready? I need you to do something for me before we go."

A few minutes later, Olivia watched with terrified eyes as Fitz held her pink Lady Schick. He held it in both hands, an unreadable expression on his face. She knew she shouldn't have given it to him. When he left, she'd hide it in one of her shoes where he'd never find it. He looked up at her. "It's amazing how I thought this little silver blade was the key to solving all my problems."

"It's not," she assured.

"I know." He gave it back, leaning back in her desk chair. "Now can you shave me without slitting my throat?"

Olivia retrieved a wet washcloth and her vanilla-scented shaving gel from the bathroom. "Let's hope so."

Olivia began lathering his face with the shaving gel and Fitz smiled. "I'm gonna smell so pretty."

A little while later, they were driving away from the center, headed for the small town that bordered it. Fitz found a small diner and Olivia swaddled herself in his hoodie as they sat in a plastic red booth, breathing in the smell of hash browns.

"So what should we eat?" Fitz asked as he picked up the plastic menu.

Olivia looked it over. "I want chili."

"Chili? I didn't think dancers ate that kind of stuff," he teased.

Olivia smiled. "Well jazz musicians shoot heroin and drink whiskey? Are you planning to take those up since we're being clichés?"

"Yesterday I wanted to be an jazz pianist. Today I'm thinking space cowboy."

Olivia chuckled. "Why space cowboy and not just cowboy?"

"Space cowboys get laser guns."

"Definitely space cowboy then." She snickered like a child.

He smiled at her and she plopped into his lap and pinched his cheeks, something only she could even dream of getting away with. He didn't like to be touched. Only she could get away with it, mostly because the softness of her little hands warmed him inside out. Fitz kissed her cheek and lay his head on her shoulder. "I can't wait to be a normal delinquent teenager with you."

"I'll pass on the body piercings and metal music, but that definitely sounds like a plan." They placed their orders and Olivia snuggled close and nuzzled his neck. "When we get to Paris, we can become drunks like the Fitzgerald's, and swingers like the first Hemmingway's, and uber famous like Justin and Britney."

"Can I dye my hair blonde?"

"We'll both go blonde, the exact same shade. It'll be super trendy." She knew it wasn't all Fitz—Dr. Beene had told her no one could spur her recovery but her—but she was eternally thankful for his arrival in her life. He had showed her everything she'd missed looking at the scale. All the music, all the movies, all the terrible days that didn't have anything to do with the inches of her waist. She hated that she'd missed out on dances and football games because she couldn't get out of the mirror. She was determined to never miss anything else, not for a number that would never be small enough. And with him there too, everything was that much sweeter. She held his face and kissed his nose. "I love you, to the moon and back."

"You're only saying that cause you're crazy," he teased then kissed to her temple.

Olivia smirked and pinched his nose. "You're supposed to say it back."

"Do I have to say it? Don't you know already?" Olivia pouted and he kissed her nose. He knew he would never tire of kissing her. "I love you, Livvie."

A/N: Don't forget to review! XOXOXO