-1Bursts From The Heart

There was a weird sharp pain in Ikuto's chest seeing the tears just flow from Amu's eyes. It was a pain that he didn't understand himself, he should be really mad now but why did he feel a little upset? He calmed himself down slightly, aware of the other's gaze upon them and somehow he was weary of the two girls that caused Amu to change after their arrival. This wasn't the place to talk things out or sort out his mixed emotions. Ikuto pulled the rather passive Amu into his arms, burying her face in his chest. He whispered clearly to her, "You don't want those two girls to see you? I'll help you. Hold onto me and hide your face from them. We'll leave right now."

Amu pulled a little away and looked at Ikuto through her tears which blurred her vision so much she couldn't make out his expression. Was he serious in helping her? Her mind was blank from all the sudden fear and anxiety that built up in her. She nodded and hugged onto him herself, doing as he said, deliberately hiding her face in his chest.

"Err...Sir are you alright?" the waiter asked approaching them.

Ikuto rummaged in his pocket and slammed some money onto the table. "Don't interfere with us," he said roughly, "this should be enough to pay for everything including the broken cutlery."

Ikuto half dragged Amu away from their seat towards the door, all the whilst hearing the whispers that were going around. He turned away from the two high school girls, making sure they didn't see him either. When they walked past them, he felt Amu calming down more, and finally outside, Ikuto grabbed Amu's arm and pulled her into a run.

In the restaurant Yaya and Nadeshiko stared at each other perplexed at what happened. "Was it a couple's fight?" Yaya asked.

"Possibly," Nadeshiko began, "but that man. Doesn't his back remind you of someone?"

"Yaya shrugged, "don't get the reference at all. You know if Amu was here, she'd be really scared right now."

Nadeshiko smiled, "let's order something." Nadeshiko took one last look at the door where the two people had just exited. "I don't think so... it's disturbing..."

Having reached quite a distance away from the restaurant, Ikuto finally stopped running. He let go of her arm and stood there amongst the busy street, not knowing what to do next or rather, not knowing what he felt. He didn't want to turn around and look at Amu since he knew he was somewhat angry by her words earlier. He won't be able to control himself once he's angry, like a mad dog, he wouldn't know what he'd do to her. "Let's end it here," Ikuto finally said, "I think today has proven that we shouldn't mess with each other anymore. Good bye Amu." Ikuto began to walk away.

Amu who had completely clamed down ever since running out the restaurant where Yaya and Nadeshiko were was too breathless to speak otherwise before Ikuto had said those words of ending, she would've said thank you. She also saw night Ikuto differently; he helped her when there wasn't a need for him to. Amu was certain that deep within night Ikuto day Ikuto existed somehow and there must be away for day Ikuto to take over fully. Her feelings were so contradictory to her decisions; it caused her to loose sight of what was her most important goal. Amu grabbed the end of Ikuto's jacket, stopping him from going, "please stop."

Ikuto turned around to look at Amu, feeling angry already at her persistent, what was it that she wanted with him? Like an audio clip that kept playing through his mind, he remembered each and every word Amu said to him. Her confession to liking him, the things she said to him when he wanted to kill her and just then...don't interfere with my life. You don't understand anything. I can't ever be seen around with you like this. I absolutely can't... it was hearing these cruel words that made him flip in anger. "Amu..." Ikuto slowly said, "Do you honestly like me?" Before Amu could answer or say anything Ikuto continued, "I know you're playing with me, I don't know your reason Amu but I'm no idiot. I can tell whether your feelings are sincere. What you suddenly burst out at the restaurant was your true feelings. You really don't like me, I know that."

Amu tightened her grip on his jacket. She knew, she knew she had already made the biggest mistake of her life by what she did in the restaurant. That sudden split moment where she was so scared that her friends would find out was incomparable to night Ikuto finding out her lie to him. She understood her real fear and feelings now. Day Ikuto was still her everything and she was afraid to loose him if night Ikuto became beyond her grasp, as much as she didn't want to loose her friends because of wrong ideas and rumours. "I know that you don't trust me anymore," Amu began, "when I said I didn't want to be seen with you, I have my own reasons."

"What reasons?" Ikuto demanded. Since she was so determined to cling to him then he wanted to know. He wanted to know and decide how to deal with her.

""I can't tell," Amu said more quietly.

"Do you think just because you have a secret it's justified to mess around with me like this?" Ikuto shouted not certain why he was so bothered and upset, "Let go of me. I want nothing to do with you-"

"I DON'T WANT TO LOOSE IKUTO," Amu shouted over him. "If my outbursts in the restaurant are my true feelings then so is this," Amu said, tears in her eyes again. "You always demand to know this and know that. You always demand me to justify my words and feelings for you and when I can't give you a satisfactory answer you do something bad to me..." Amu fell onto her knees, crying now, not knowing anymore what she was saying. "Does there have to be a reason for everything? There are times when there is just no reason, like I don't understand but I just don't want to loose Ikuto. Is that wrong? If I'm wrong then tell me why I'm wrong?" Amu looked up at Ikuto, "I tried really hard to show you my feelings, I really did with even my life but if nothing goes through..." Amu let go off Ikuto's jacket, averting her gaze elsewhere, "I'm really tired. I really want to give up but I don't know why I still want to desperately hold onto you. I have no reason. You may not trust me at all but that doesn't mean I'm wrong because I acted on my feelings." Amu wiped her tears and stood herself back up. By now a crowd had gathered to watch them but she didn't care about that. It was decided now that she would have nothing more to do with night Ikuto. She wouldn't be able to keep an eye on him and prevent him from being hurt. She turned away from Ikuto, "Good bye then. I only wished that you had tried to understand me more before accusing me so much. I truly wanted to be besides you."

Ikuto wrapped his arms around Amu from behind her, pulling her close to him. He didn't know why but her words were as if magical and he felt behind whatever reason she may hold, her feeling for him were weren't entirely fake, though it still doesn't make sense how her feelings can be like this for him when they have just recently met. "Amu, before we part, let me take you to a place."

There was no reply but Amu nodded her head. Ikuto let go of her and they began to walk in silence to where Ikuto wanted to go. It was already into the early night as they started to walk. Amu avoided looking at Ikuto the entire way, worried she would get over emotional again. They were headed to a place quite far out from town; Amu recognised it as the shrine which she normally goes to during new years with Ikuto. Last year she came with Nadeshiko and Yaya instead though. She wondered why night Ikuto had bought her here. There didn't seem to be anything special around.

"Follow me," Ikuto said heading towards the back of the shrine which Amu had never been to before.

The shrine was built quite high up compared to the rest of the town where what looked like a forest surrounded it. No one ever goes further than the front of the shrine, not even the caretaker of it, so no one knows what there is beyond, in the mass of shady green. Amu found it difficult to follow Ikuto who wandered deep into the forest. She just about managed not to fall over twigs and the uneven ground. She stared at Ikuto's back, was she wrong to have followed him? Somehow, they were going in deeper and deeper and Amu didn't feel comfortable at all, in the almost darkness. Amu saw faint light pouring through gaps in the trees before Ikuto now. They finally reached the end but Ikuto stopped moving altogether.

"What's wrong?" Amu asked meekly.

"This place that I'm going to go to is a really special place to me..." Ikuto didn't turn to face Amu or continue what he was saying but changed the subject, "I guess you really did get me in the end. I may not know your reasons and secrets and they are something that irritates me and whenever I think of them I get angry. You've seen and experienced it before, my angers; I can't control them."

Amu wanted to say something but she couldn't since she didn't really understand what Ikuto was getting at with what he is saying. Ikuto continued, "I think I understand at least that even if I don't know you, your feelings for me are not meant to be harmful. You saved my life twice and I'll return them Amu – those favours."

"I didn't save you for you to return any favours-" Amu wanted to protest but Ikuto stopped her sentence with his own.

"I helped you out back at the restaurant. That will count as one life given back to you," Ikuto turned slightly towards Amu, looking at her from the side, "normally I would kill anyone who messes with me like you've done. I hate not knowing anything and feel like being played around with. I'll return the last life to you now."

"What?" Amu mouthed.

"Maybe you really have touched my heart somehow when you relentlessly saved my life. That sudden outbursts of feelings, the words you said a few minutes ago, they somehow gave me a very warm feeling," Ikuto turned away from Amu again, "I don't understand but it feels like I know you for longer than I should do. You are a strange person to me. I don't know your intentions but I won't kill you or hurt you anymore. I'll give you the final choice." Ikuto took a few steps ahead, "wait here for five minutes. If you don't want anything more to do with me then go back and never appear before my face again, otherwise the next time you do something I don't like, I really won't hold back in hurting you. However," Ikuto paused a little then went on to say, "if you still wish to be with me then come to me and be my girlfriend. There's no turning back once you've chosen, think carefully."

Amu didn't get time to say anything for Ikuto already disappeared off ahead. She stood there very still, just managing to stop herself from instinctively following him. Her feelings to be with him are clear to her but this time, he told her to think and she knew she needed to. Turning back now, she would loose part of Ikuto forever, only able to see day Ikuto and unable to do anything to stop his personality switch or make sure night Ikuto would be unhurt and kept out of meaningless fights. These were all her original concern and reasons. To follow him would mean she'd achieve her reasons for trying to get close to night Ikuto from the start but to become his girlfriend. There was a sharp pain in Amu's head now. There was no way she can accept that term. She was his daughter; she will not become his girlfriend and upset the way of life she had always treasured. It was time to give up. Amu turned back towards the shrine and started to walk in that direction. To be with both - the complete Ikuto, or to be with part of him and keep her life and happiness that she owned now. She had already chosen, so why were these tears falling from her eyes? Amu stopped walking and looked back at where night Ikuto was and in the direction she was going. Which was it? Which path was she supposed to choose? Amu clenched at her beating heart, "don't ignore these feelings," she whispered to herself, "I know my heart has already decided for me..." Amu took a step forward.

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