6

Chapter 31

After David had disembarked from the transport and had settled into his room…he found himself in the noisy crowded hallways.

It was incredibly jarring; he'd grown very accustomed to the empty echoes of Outpost 40.

While part of him longed for the emptiness and silence…as he had always felt uncomfortable in crowds.

Another part of him felt slightly relieved seeing so many faces; living with so few for so long…you start to wonder if other life really does exist.

David pushed through the masses; he past humans and aliens alike…dressed in red uniforms just like his.

He passed engineers running to and fro; he saw custodians swabbing decks and running errands.

As he was walking…he passed in front of a window over-looking planet Earth below.

He paused for a moment…feeling a sense of longing.

He hadn't been to Earth since graduation…five years ago.

He thought of his home in the Kansas countryside; he thought of the little dock he'd been so fond of.

The more he thought...the less wistful he felt and the more uncomfortable he became.

He started feeling a sense of anxiety…and quickly whipped around, accidentally bumping into an alien delegate.

"Excuse me!"

The fellow had dropped his belongings; David bent over to pick them up and handed them over.

"That's quite alright!"

The alien scurried on past.

David stood there for a moment…thinking about the incident.

He glanced back at the window one last time…realizing that once he'd left Starfleet.

He couldn't go home either.

David arrived at his destination; he entered the office quietly…and stood at the door reservedly…his back straight and his hands clasped in front of him.

He stared forwards toward nothing in particular.

"Reporting as ordered, Sir,"

Carl glanced up from some paperwork; his eyes widened…with a touch of joy.

"David!"

He motioned to the chair across from him.

David paused for a moment as though he was processing the request.

He finally relented…stiffly taking the seat across from Carl.

They sat there for a moment…staring each other down.

Carl searched David's face with his eyes…looking for some sense of friendliness.

David remained stern and quiet.

Carl sighed deeply…clasping his hands together on his desk.

"David…"

Carl looked down at his hands.

He glanced at a photo sitting on the wall; he started to feel a sense of hopelessness wash over him.

He thought of the last time he'd seen David; he thought of all the nights he'd spent chasing after him.

Carl slowly let the kindness he felt for David slip away. The same feeling of defeat he'd felt when he'd found him on Orion 5.

He felt as though he'd let a giant burden go.

He made eye contact with David; his look changed from slightly hopeful to quietly resolved. David could sense the shift…and felt a slight sense of panic.

Like he'd finally burned every bridge. That there was no hope anymore.

Carl got to his feet…and crossed towards the window...turning his back to David.

"Lieutenant," he began, clearing his throat. "You've come to my attention recently."

David remained stern; but underneath…he slowly started to feel more alone.

"Your act of valor on Outpost 40 went relatively un-noticed by command…and I didn't feel that was justified."

"Sir…no one cares about what I did. And I don't really blame them,"

David could feel his anxiety building. He did his best to fight it back.

"That's not what I heard from your CO…he recommended you for promotion,"

"All I did was kill a few Klingons on a barren outpost no one gives a rat's ass about."

David wanted to spill his guts to Carl; but something wouldn't let him.

Carl turned around to face David.

"You've demonstrated that you have a capacity for more than what you've previously shown,"

"I'm good at killing people…"

"I wouldn't sell yourself short."

David sighed.

"Look…I see what you're trying to do…"

"Lieutenant….I called you here to offer you a position with a little more responsibility. Nothing more."

David was taken back by Carl's stern and dismissive tone.

For a second…he felt as though he had the perfect moment to finally tell Carl how he really felt.

But he just didn't have the courage to do it.

It was too complex to explain.

All the variables started swirling in his head.

David let the moment slowly slip away.

In that moment…he knew all the more that he couldn't stay.

Even Carl had given up on him.

"Lets face it…I could have been a great officer thirty years ago. But Starfleet isn't at war…and isn't going to be anytime soon,"

Carl looked David straight in the eyes. He felt he had one last chance.

"You don't have to be him, David. You could be so much more."

David wanted to burst into tears. But he stopped himself.

He wanted to believe Carl…but he wouldn't let himself.

He couldn't believe it was that simple.

"I'm not trying to be. I'm just being honest. I don't belong in a peaceful organization."

"Then where do you belong, Lieutenant?"

David was silent. He couldn't think of anything to say. He knew he was right…but he was at a loss for words.

"I want you to go on this mission. It'll be routine. A week there and a week back. I want you to think about what we talked about…"

Carl looked David dead in the eyes one last time.

"Really think…before you make any final decision. You're always welcome to go back to the Outpost if you feel you're better suited for that line of work."

David silently nodded his head.

"Dismissed. Report to Docking port four at 0800 tomorrow."

As David got up to leave…he was certain that this would be his last mission

And in two weeks…he would no longer be wearing that uniform.

He'd finally be free of everyone and everything.

Free to go out and find where he was really supposed to be.