VI.

Jack pulled up at Ianto's flat after a short but quiet car ride only to find the Welshman leaning against the window, completely dead to the world. His head was back, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open. Yet instead of looking peaceful in sleep, he still looked upset, his face pinched as if in pain. Jack sighed, because obviously the Welshman was still extremely troubled.

He wondered what to do. Let the man sleep for a while? Wake him and help him upstairs to his flat? And then what about Ianto's unexpected suggestion? He was clearly too tired for anything of that nature, but perhaps that was a good thing. Jack had been reluctant to accept Ianto's invitation at first, interest aside. Ianto was clearly still hurting from Lisa's death and Jack's part in it, and Jack was smart enough to recognize that sleeping together might only make that fragile recovery worse. It would certainly complicate things at work.

Yet he was definitely interested. How could he not be? Ianto was attractive, he was intelligent, and he had a dry wit that Jack enjoyed when Ianto let it out. He was also damn good at his job, though he'd been struggling lately to fit in and find his role on a team also trying to come to terms with what had happened the night Lisa had died.

Jack had almost immediately forgiven Ianto and accepted him back. Why wouldn't he? Yes, Ianto had betrayed them and brought dangerous technology into the Hub, but Jack couldn't fault him for trying to save his girlfriend. At the heart of it, Ianto had done it all for love, and he had lost everything. Because Jack knew that not only had Ianto Jones lost the woman he'd loved, but he'd lost friends, roommates, coworkers, his job—his entire life back in London—the day Canary Wharf fell. How could Jack condemn a man suffering such loss? He couldn't, not when he'd done worse, and lost so much himself. Ianto deserved a second, and even a third, chance.

He finally decided to wake Ianto and leave off any other possible activities. He was still surprised that Ianto had suggested anything. Yes, he flirted with Ianto, and the Welshman had frequently flirted back, but Ianto had never given hint that he was interested in anything more than some playful banter. And knowing the man's past, Jack had never pushed. He suspected that once Ianto thought it through he'd be mortified about their kiss in the SUV. It wasn't as if he'd thrown himself at Jack, but he had clearly propositioned him at a most unexpected time.

Laying a gentle hand on Ianto's shoulder, Jack called his name quietly, not wanting to startle the other man awake. After a few tries, Ianto opened bleary eyes, then abruptly sat up, glancing around the car.

"I fell asleep, didn't I," he stated. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, you're obviously knackered. It's been a long day." Jack shrugged and leaned back.

"How long was I out?" Ianto asked.

"Ten minutes at the most," Jack replied. "I thought about letting you sleep, but figured you'd be more comfortable inside."

Ianto glanced at his building and nodded. "Right. Thanks. Um, did you still want to…er…" He trailed off, obviously unsure and embarrassed. Jack felt sorry for his discomfort, and irrationally disappointed even though he knew it wasn't going to happen between them, not that night, and possibly not ever.

"No, I'm fine," he said with what he hoped was a genuine smile. "I'll take a raincheck."

"A raincheck?" Ianto repeated, staring at him. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair and messing it up. "Right. A raincheck. As if we'll ever be in another situation like this again."

"It's Torchwood," Jack pointed out. "We face life and death every day."

"Not in the archives," Ianto returned dryly.

"Then you'll have to join us in the field more," Jack replied cheerfully. This earned him a glorious eye roll. "Do you need help upstairs?"

"No, I'll be fine. You?" asked Ianto.

"I'm always fine," Jack replied with a grin he knew was false this time because Ianto sighed and turned away.

"I'm sorry," he said. "About tonight…about everything."

"I know," Jack replied. "It's all right. We'll get through this."

Ianto turned back toward him with such a look of despair in his eyes Jack almost had to look away. "Sometimes I don't know how," he whispered, his voice breaking. "Because I came so close tonight, Jack, so close..." He stopped and let his chin fall to his chest. Jack reached over and took his hand, squeezing tight. He was slightly surprised when Ianto clung to it, and found their hands fit well together.

"You can do this. Right now, I think you need to get some sleep. Don't worry about coming in tomorrow morning, I told Tosh and the others the same thing."

"And yet we'll all be there because we have nothing better to do."

Jack sighed. "You did, once. And you will again."

Ianto shook his head. "I don't think I'll ever have a life like that again," he admitted. It broke Jack's heart, to think of poor Tosh, so alone she was conned by an alien. And now Ianto, so broken he'd lost hope for any kind of normal life. It wasn't right, what Torchwood did to good people.

Impulsively, he leaned forward and gently kissed Ianto on the lips, quick and light, too fast for the other man to respond with anything more than wide eyes when Jack pulled back. "You can, and you will. You deserve it."

Ianto clearly didn't believe him. He touched his lips and took a deep breath. "Good night, Jack," he said, opening the door and stepping out. "And thank you."

"Good night," said Jack. He watched Ianto walk up to the building, his step slow and his shoulders hunched, before he let himself in and disappeared from view without a look back. Jack restarted the SUV and set out for the Hub, feeling like he'd just lost something he'd never had.

Author's Note:

This one is for Charlotte_Garlic, who suggested Ianto falling asleep in the car! I had the same idea, but the raincheck is all hers. I wonder if he cashes it in before the stopwatch? Halfway done, and some of the drabbles coming up are quite a bit longer. I hope everyone is enjoying them! I am plotting new things in my head as I work, and hope to update some of my other stories as well. Thank you for reading!