Lost Purpose to Live

"You are…Yoru," Amu exclaimed, surprised to see that little kid in front of her house so late into the night. "What's wrong? It's rather late now, why are you here?"

Suppressing her desire to find Ikuto, Amu walked up to Yoru and knelt before him, putting her hands on his tiny shoulders. She gave a meek smile, "Yoru, did you run away from the church again? You shouldn't do this. Come on; let's hurry back before Tsukassa and Tadase worries too much about you."

Yoru took Amu's hand but refused to walk as she turned in the direction of the church. "Amu, aren't you Tadase's girlfriend?"

"Yeah I am," Amu gently replied. "Yoru let's go."

Yoru still wouldn't move an inch but just continued to stand there staring at Amu, "are you and Tadase happy together?"

"Yes, we are," Amu said, "Yoru, please we need to get you back to the church."

"I don't want to go back there. It took me a lot of effort to run away unnoticed," Yoru complained, "and there is this guy I want to see…"

"YORU," Amu shouted and as soon as she did, she flushed red, embarrassed for losing her temper with a kid like this. She was beginning to feel so impatient, worried about Ikuto and wanting to rush to his side as soon as possible. She didn't have the time or effort to take care of Yoru now. I want to leave him and go, Amu desperately screamed in her mind, I need to find Ikuto… he's my everything…Ignore Yoru, let him do what he wants… I don't care if he gets kidnapped; what's more important is Ikuto… As those thought repeated in Amu's mind, her hand holding Yoru slowly loosened and she stepped away from him. Yoru is always running away from the church, this isn't the first time, if he's in any trouble it's not my fault…. It's not my fault that I'm leaving him here, Amu continued to think and she began to back away from Yoru. As soon as I turn my back, I'll forget about this kid.

"W-what is it?" a confused Yoru asked, his voice shaky, "you don't have to get mad because I said I don't want to go back to the church."

Amu stayed silent as she continued to back away from Yoru.

"I know" Yoru finally said, anxious from Amu's unfriendly attitude. "You think I'm troublesome don't you?" Yoru had snuck out of the church earlier just for fun like always, scaring Tsukassa and Tadase but then he saw that person and just instinctively followed him. Before he knew it, he was lost and wandering around in the night. He was scared but when he saw Amu running out her house, he immediately called her name wanting comfort. He couldn't admit he was scared or lost though. He'd look so uncool. "You think I'm troublesome don't you?" Yoru repeated since Amu remained silent, "Well I am a rebellious kid and I'm proud of it. I'm proud that I snuck out of the church. I didn't think I'd run into anyone I know so soon though… "

"Yoru…" Amu whispered.

"If you're this unhappy seeing me then leave me alone… go away, I don't need you. I'm perfectly fine on my own," Yoru lied.

Tears poured from Amu's eyes as she ran back towards Yoru and embraced his small shaking body in her arms. She cried, "STOP THIS YORU… your just a kid, I know that I know your alone and scared. I know you need someone. Even so… I wanted to leave you alone; I thought such selfish things… I'm sorry."

A confused Yoru hugged the crying Amu back, "I'm sorry." Although he didn't know what was going on, he knew Amu was in a lot of pain.

As Amu hugged onto Yoru tighter, her emotions just spilled uncontrollably, realising for the first time and accepting just how hopeless she was. She had been denying herself for so long until Yoru showed up as an obstacle in her way to finding Ikuto, did she finally understand, she would never be able to find him. She knew Ikuto was going to meet up with his father but then she had no idea where. Her feelings weren't enough; her love for Ikuto would not magically take her to his side. Not knowing where to look or find him, hardly knowing a thing about night Ikuto, she would just end up blindly running around on the streets. Amu had finally realised this terrible truth as she clung onto Yoru for comfort. "I can't go… I can't go to you anymore…I don't know how to go to your side," Amu cried in pain, "Ikuto… Ikuto I'm so hopeless, I can't even go to you… Ikuto…come back, I beg you… Ikuto I love you so come back…"

Yoru patted Amu's head, "good girl. Good girl. Ikuto will come back because Amu is a good girl right?"

Amu pulled away a little and stared at Yoru.

"That is what Tsukassa said, if you are a good person then what you wish for will come true," Yoru said, "that Ikuto person will come back if you be good."

Yoru started to wipe the tears off Amu's face with his small hands, "if you keep crying and waste your tears, you are a bad girl and no one will come back… I'm sorry I snuck out of the church again as well."

Amu put on a week smile, her mood a little better than before, "thank you Yoru."

Yoru smiled, "can I stay at your house tonight then? I've never spent a night out of the church and it's alright if you tell Tsukassa right?"

Amu nodded, knowing she needed Yoru's company. She held onto his hand and they went back into the house. Yoru who was clearly excited to be somewhere else other than the church took no time to wait and was already running around, exploring the place. Amu took the opportunity to wash her face in the bathroom and calm down. She stared at her own reflection in the mirror and then as she looked more carefully, on her neck was a clear kiss mark. Seeing that mark brought back so many happy memories to her and she smiled. She can still remember the lingering warmth of Ikuto's body wrapped against hers, his voice that whispered dirty comments into her ears which turned her on, his breath tickling every inch of her skin, his touch and his movements inside her. "I can still feel them," Amu whispered. "Ikuto…"

Amu left the bathroom and as she entered the living room she saw Yoru standing still in front of the photo's hung up on the wall. He's surprisingly quiet, Amu thought as she approached him, fully composed now and only believing in Ikuto's return to her.

Yoru pointed at the photo of her and Ikuto, "Amu, you know cool guy?"

"Cool guy?"

Yoru pointed at Ikuto, "him, cool guy, you know him?"

"Yeah, he's my…" Amu paused for the moment, uncertain of what she should say. What was Ikuto to her? Which Ikuto should she refer to? Amu took in a deep breath before answering, "In my whole life, he is the person I treasure the most. Ikuto is the one I love without hesitation."

"So you like cool guy more than Tadase?" Yoru questioned, reading Amu's expression seriously.

"Y-Yoru, why would you say that?" a flustered Amu said, walking away from the picture to sit on the sofa. Whenever Tadase is mentioned, a guilty feeling would always rush through her and she simply didn't know how to respond anymore.

Yoru took the picture from the cupboard and sat next to Amu. He looked at her again, "you had a very happy face when you said you loved cool guy. When I asked you before about Tadase, you looked sad."

"I know," Amu muttered, "anyway Yoru, how do you know Ikuto? You've been referring him as cool guy. When did you two meet?"

Yoru's face seemed to lit up as Amu questioned him. He had a proud smile on his face as he explained, "you see, one day I snuck out the church and I went to the lower quarters where Tsukassa told me to never go. I happened to run into some very, very bad guys and I was scared but cool guy came and beat them up. He's my hero and he looked so cool when he was fighting…. So, so I really like cool guy. He took me to eat ice-cream after that. Well, I kept the fact that I met him a secret, cool guy said our meeting and talk were secret. I never saw him again until today. I was following him but got lost and couldn't find him again. Then I saw you."

Amu stared at Yoru, surprised that he had met night Ikuto. It couldn't possibly be day Ikuto that Yoru saw because he would never be in a fight. Then again, Amu was wondering why night Ikuto had never mentioned that he saved a kid. She was beginning to get curious as to what night Ikuto said to Yoru. Amu tried prompting him to say but Yoru was so proud that he had a secret with his hero; he simply refused to say anymore. Instead Yoru kept asking many questions about Ikuto, clearly excited that he found out where his hero lived and who he was close to. Amu simply answered as much of Yoru's questions as she could. The change of pace, being around Yoru had completely calmed her down now and though that strong urge to see Ikuto did not vanish, she was less distraught and depressed. Amu let out a yawn, looking at how late it was, she told Yoru to sleep in her room.

"You won't leave me alone here will you?" Yoru asked Amu as she laid the duvet over him.

"Don't worry. You will wake up tomorrow and see me cooking you breakfast. I'll make you something very special," Amu whispered gently with a soft smile. She kissed his forehead, "good-night Yoru."

"Hey Amu," Yoru called out before Amu left the room. He smiled at her and said, "There is a place I must return to, a warm and loving place that makes me happy. When I am there, I feel most cared for. I think I kind of understand that now. Thank you."

A perplexed Amu just blinked at Yoru.

"That is what my cool hero said to me," Yoru said, "good-night."

Amu nodded and closed the door. She clasped her hand over her mouth in surprise. Ikuto said that, she thought, a place he must return to… Amu clutched at her chest, "I understand Ikuto, and I know you will return to me. I know you will. I'll stay and wait. I won't cause you trouble so return to me."

Xxxxx

"KAZUOMI…. NO…. STOP IKUTO!" Aruto shouted desperately as he placed Lulu down onto the floor and ran towards the two.

A semi-conscious Lulu lay on the floor, staring with fear at the scene before her. Tears ran down her swollen face, "Ikuto… you are so…"

Aruto was now standing next to a shocked Kazuomi and Ikuto who seemed unnaturally calm in this situation. Aruto grabbed hold of the steel rod that pierced the flesh and started to pull it out of the body but stopped. He let go of the rod, realising it was too dangerous to do anything.

Kazuomi dropped to his knees before Ikuto and Aruto, completely shocked by what Ikuto had down. He had lost, he had lost everything and he knew there was nothing left he can do. He stared from Ikuto to the blood on his own hands and he screamed from the pain of his own defeat. It was agonising, the pain of realising how wrong he had been through the past years. Kazuomi sat very still, his screams and cries ceased as he simply just stared at Ikuto. This person, Kazuomi thought as he continued to stare at Ikuto, will disappear.

There was a distinct sound of sirens that was becoming louder with each passing second and immediately Kazuomi knew the police was here at last to get him. Kazuomi sat very still and didn't move at all, waiting patiently there for his arrest. Nagehiko appeared not long after, finally taking Kazuomi away.

Kazuomi took one last look at Ikuto who was still standing there and Aruto besides him.

"Hurry, take the woman to the hospital and…" Nagehiko ordered. He turned his attention on Ikuto and Aruto and his expression was that of bewilderment. "Hurry, there's a heavily injured man on the roof-top with a weapon pierced through his chest. Get a medical team here quickly."

"Why did you do this?" Aruto asked, holding back his tears. "Do you know how upset both me and Souko…"

"I'm still alive," Ikuto said, "don't talk as if I'm already dead."

"But…" Aruto said. The sight of the long metal rod sticking out of Ikuto's body was horrifying. He only wished he had the courage to stop Kazuomi to be the one in his son's place.

"This is the reason I'm here," Ikuto continued, the pain from the wound already numb, "the reason I was ever alive was to search for you. When I've found you, and mother, I got all the answers I wanted. Then I knew the last thing I had to do was to stop Kazuomi Hoshina. I've done that as well. All the purposes for me to live have gone."

"DON'T SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT," Aruto shouted, supporting Ikuto who almost dropped to the ground. "You will survive. I know you're strong. We still need to be together as a family Ikuto. Let me and Souko make things up to you like a real mother and father would. Let us…"

"You can still do that…" Ikuto said, his voice getting weaker, "You've realised haven't you? There are two Ikuto's in this body."

Aruto nodded, "it doesn't matter. To me and Souko, both of you are still our precious son. Ikuto, you will always be you no matter what."

Ikuto smiled, "so there is no need to worry. I've already decided to give you two a second chance and so will him. The one who's occupying this dying body is the fake Ikuto… understand that."

"Don't say something stupid."

"It's the truth. I've lost my purpose to continue living… the only thing I've done wrong is making her cry… This will be good-bye forever, father…"

"No," Aruto said but he could say no more as the medical team came and moved Ikuto into the ambulance.

"I'll live and the real Ikuto will return to you. Aruto Tsukiyomi, just wait until your son wakes up and then start again properly…" Ikuto said before losing consciousness.

Aruto rushed onto the ambulance. At the hospital, he met up with Souko, Utau and Kukai who all waited outside the operation room. Lulu who had recovered after some rest joined them as they all waited for news on Ikuto.

Aruto held a sobbing Souko in his arms, "don't worry. Our boy is strong."

Lulu hugged Souko as well, "Ikuto is very strong. I know he'll be alright."

Utau and Kukai stood in the corner, silent and waiting.

The light on the operation room finally switched off and the doctors came out.

"How is my son?" Aruto asked.

"He's fine. He's unconscious at the minute but the operation was a great success. He should wake up very soon."

Aruto smiled and he hugged Souko who was relieved. "We are truly blessed."

"I know," Souko whispered, "we have our son back, our life and…"

Souko turned to look at Utau who smiled back.

"What father did," Utau began, "he'll need to pay for it. As for the company, I'm sure Aruto is a fitting new director. I've heard you've managed to persuade the Sanjo family to support you so everything should go smoothly with legal transfers and all. Congratulations, aunt Souko, you've finally got what you've always deserved."

"Utau, won't you stay in the company and help me and Aruto out?" Souko asked. "You're a good girl and we both know you have nothing to do with all the schemes your father was behind. Even if you helped, we know you were always just trying to protect Ikuto. Thank you. We want to-"

Utau smiled, "so much has happened, my feelings are everywhere and at the minute I just want to take a break from everything. Can I give my reply when I am properly ready? But Souko, I'm very happy you asked me."

Souko nodded and left with Aruto, knowing Ikuto would be fine.

"So, what are you planning to do?" Kukai asked Utau as they headed towards the car park.

"That's a question I should be asking you," Utau said, "you've always been by night Ikuto's side but…"

Kukai put on a weak smile, "I'll always remain Ikuto's best buddy no matter what and I'll always be by his side when he needs me, but like you, I need a rest from everything. Best if we stepped back, did nothing and just observed right?"

Utau couldn't help but smile. She hadn't really noticed it but ever since night Ikuto appeared, Kukai was always there. They were always there supporting each other.

As she stared at Kukai who was busy searching for his car keys that he must've misplaced somewhere, a sudden realisation swept over Utau and her heart began to race. She could feel the strong beating of her heart under her chest and she flushed pink, turning away. "So, this is how things are… guess all along I've taken you for granted…" Utau whispered.

"What did you say?" Kukai asked, smiling as he finally found the keys.

Utau held Kukai's hand tightly, "do you want to be together?"

Kukai stared at Utau, surprised by Utau's sudden action and question. He started to panic, not knowing how to answer her. "Err…. I-I… a-are you ask-asking me whether I and you and…"

"The path we walk with Ikuto is over," Utau continued, "it's time we found a path for ourselves right? Do you want to search for our own path together?" Utau tightened her hold on Kukai's hand.

Kukai stopped his flustering and pulled Utau into a tight hug, "from now on, please take care of me, my searching for a path partner."

Utau couldn't help but laugh as Kukai hugged her. "Well, before we go off though, there is still one thing that bothers me if I don't see its end."

"Yeah, I know what you're talking about," Kukai said, "shall we find her now and tell her? She knows most of the details anyway. It shouldn't be too hard to explain things and I know she would want to be besides Ikuto at this time."

Utau gently eased away from Kukai's hug and shook her head in disapproval of Kukai's suggestion. "We shouldn't be the ones to talk to her."

"Amu needs to know," Kukai protested, "She needs to understand the situation that Ikuto is in and…"

"Aruto said he'll find Amu and personally tell her himself. There is nothing we need to do but wait and watch the results. I only hope Amu and night Ikuto weren't deeply in love," Utau said with a sad expression, "if they were too madly in love, I'm just afraid something tragic may happen."

Xxxxx

It was already morning and Amu was awake, making breakfast for Yoru as she promised him the night before. It wasn't long before Yoru woke to join Amu. As they ate, Yoru kept criticising how the food lacked sweetness and Amu could only laugh in response. Despite her brave and happy face in front of Yoru though, there was a very uncomfortable feeling within her. She'd noticed Ikuto had never returned and she could only wonder where he went. She was worried but she can only start looking for Ikuto after Yoru returns to the church. She had phoned Tsukassa earlier and he said he would come around to pick Yoru up. Amu could only hope Tsukassa came quicker.

There was a loud knock on the door and assuming it was Tsukassa, Amu quickly went to answer it. As she opened the door, Tsukassa stood there, as she expected here to pick up Yoru but the man standing beside Tsukassa was something she never expected.

"I-Ikuto…" Amu uttered, "no… you're not Ikuto." That face that Amu was now staring at was familiar to her but at the same time it was so different. It was Ikuto's face but not his, much older, much less like Ikuto when you look closer. This was definitely not Ikuto but the striking resemblance was there. "Who are you?"

Tsukassa spoke up, "Amu, this is Aruto Tsukiyomi. He's a close friend of mine and he wants to talk to you, regarding his son."

Amu gasped, "You're Ikuto's father."

Aruto put on a gentle smile, "yeah, I'm Ikuto's father and there's something important I need to tell you. Will you stay calm and listen?"

#SPOILER for the following chapter:

"For now, it should remain a secret to Amu, the fact that 'that' Ikuto is now dead…"

"Ikuto's awake."

"Amu, why are you crying?"

"Ikuto seems to have forgotten all about me. He doesn't recognise me anymore."

"There's nothing I can do…"