The servants carried his trunks down the stairs and to the carriage as Frederick blankly stared out the drawing room window. Six weeks had passed since he had left Lyme; his temporary reprieve had ended, and he was now bound for Uppercross.
"The Musgroves are a very respectable family. One could not be connected with better people," said Edward softly.
Frederick made no response. He knew his brother was trying to be reassuring, but it only made him more melancholy.
If only I had written to Anne in the year eight when I made post. Perhaps she would have answered my letter. Or in the year nine… ten… eleven… Good God! How many years have I let go by!
If only I spent time with her at Uppercross renewing our acquaintance, instead of trying to attach myself to either of the Miss Musgroves. How could I have let my pride and resentment keep me from trying to regain her?
If only I had thought about my actions and not entangled myself with Louisa.
If only, if only, if only...
His regrets weighed heavily on his heart. He had once believed that no pain could be greater than what he experienced when Anne ended their engagement, but now he knew that he was wrong. There was a difference between losing her eight years and a half ago and losing her now, when her character was fixed on his mind as perfection itself.
"Come Frederick, it is time."
With slow, measured steps, Frederick walked out the front door and towards the carriage. The solemnity with which he proceeded was more fitting for a prisoner walking towards the tumbrel that would wheel him to the guillotine, rather than a traveller boarding a carriage to Somersetshire.
At least the guillotine would be a quick death instead of a life sentence.
Frederick winced at his thoughts.
Come man, get a grip! No matter your feelings about Anne, you must treat Louisa with the kindness she deserves.
Once on board, Frederick pulled out the letter he had placed in his coat pocket. It arrived two days ago and he had read it over a dozen times already, wondering what it could mean.
February 6th
Dear Frederick,
I hope your visit to Shropshire is going well. My recovery has progressed enough for me to return home in a few days. I shall arrive at Uppercross on Saturday, a few days before you, and would be honoured if you would call on me Wednesday morning before you speak to my father. I patiently await your visit.
Yours affectionately,
Louisa
~~END OF CHAPTER~~