*4* Seto *4*
The doctor was no help, he said I was fine, I most certainly was not fine. I glared at the idea that the Doctor got paid for his half-assed work and headed up to my home office. I passed Mokuba on the way but I didn't look at him. I knew he was worried about me but I couldn't tell him what happened. I put my briefcase down and pulled out my chair before sitting down. I turned on my computer and as I waited for it to boot up I placed my head in my hands.
"Nii-sama?" I looked up to see that Mokuba had walked in. "Roland told me you went to the hospital. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Mokuba." Damn that Roland. I sighed, "I'm just stressed over this Kaiba Land USA thing."
"That's unusual for you." He said. Couldn't he see that I didn't want to share my problem with him? If he kept going like this I would spill the beans.
"It's another culture over there, I need to be careful." I said which was true. Even Walt Disney had problems when he first opened Euro Disney.
"Okay, but that's not something people go to the hospital for." He said as he made his way over to my desk. He placed his small hand on my forehead and pulled back quickly. I looked at him with alarm. "You're hot." He said. I was? I blinked twice.
"That's it!" Of course! I gave him one of my rare smiles. "I have a fever, it's been making me see and hear things." I said.
"Oh. Then you shouldn't be in the office working. You should be in bed, resting." Mokuba said. I knew I felt fine and I knew I could work but if going to bed and missing a day of work would get him to stop worrying, well, it was a small price to pay.
"Alright." I said.
"Alright? Really?" Mokuba smiled. "Great. I'll make you some tea and bring it to you in bed." He said and hurried out to the kitchen.
"Earl Grey!" I shouted and logged into my computer, I had a few moments before Mokuba would return. I decided to check my email and of course I was swamped with complaints from America. I could feel a headache forming once again and I beginning to think this USA thing was a waste of time. I sighed and began typing away response after response.
Then I paused at an e-mail address I had never seen before and somehow I knew who it was. Begrudgingly I opened it up.
-What you said about Jounouchi really hurt but I know it's a defense mechanism. I know you aren't as cold hearted as everyone makes you out to be, as you make yourself out to be. I wanted to say, for what it's worth that I don't think it was your fault. You probably think it was but I know you more than you think. Also I forgive you for those words.
I guess that's all. You don't have to write back or anything. Yugi-
I looked away then back again. Yugi. I stood up, how dare he try and see through me like this. Fuck. I deleted the email and shut down my computer. Jounouchi is gone and I am over it. I don't need Yugi's sympathy or his forgiveness.I left the office just in time to see Mokuba walk up the stairs with my tea.
"Why aren't you in bed?" Mokuba asked giving me the best pout he could muster. It broke my heart a little. My greatest weakness was my little brother. Several people knew about it too and kidnapped him to try and get at me. I'd gladly give up my company to save his life. But not before trying to save him myself.
"I wanted to check my email real quick." I said.
"That's never real quick" he was right, on average I received about two hundred emails a day.
"This time it was." I said and headed toward my bedroom, taking the tea cup from Mokuba. I sipped at it and the warmth washed over me. I felt relaxed. I sat down on my bed and watched Mokuba leave. He had that look of worry in his eyes and I hated it. There wasn't anything I could do to change the way he saw me right now. In a few days it would pass. I took another sip of tea and let out a small sound of satisfaction. It was the perfect blend of tea, water and sugar.
I hadn't felt warm in days. Perhaps the world got a little colder now that Jounouchi was gone. Not that I missed him or anything. Though he was a thug and a major idiot, he did have this innocence about him. I suppose that's what started this whole thing. To see him interact with his friends was almost enough to make one jealous, almost.
It was then that I noticed how tightly I'd been gripping my cup; my fingers were nearly white from the pressure. I sighed and put the cup down. If there wasn't anything physically wrong with me then it had to be mental. I had often read stories of geniuses who turned insane after a while, could that be me? I certainly didn't feel insane. And wasn't the questioning of my sanity enough proof I am, in fact, sane?
The room began to spin and I decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to sleep. It was a long day and it wasn't as if Mokuba will let me get any work done. Yes. I leaned back into my pillow and closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
The school bell rang again, it was another Monday and I had decided to go to school. People often wondered why I went to school. If I were rich and set for life why would I need to? It was simple. I wanted to set a good example for my brother. I wasn't naive enough to think Kaiba Corp. would be around forever. Not that I wanted it to end nor would I let it anytime soon. I needed Mokuba to have something to fall back on. Plus, I don't really think the business world is something he wants for himself.
There was another reason I went to school. A reason I had never shared with anyone. A reason I wouldn't admit to myself even now. I never let my mind wonder to the weak feeling of loneliness. Everyone thought I was an emotionless robot; well that's what I wanted them to think.
At the orphanage I was seen as weak. I had just lost my parents but that wasn't enough for the other kids. They saw fit to tease and harass my brother and I. One day I caught Mokuba in the middle of the road waiting for traffic to start. I pulled him from the street at the last moment. After that I decided I would get us out of that place. I had to start by showing the other kids that the Kaiba brothers were a force to be reckoned with. Shortly after I made sure we were adopted.
The bell to the school started to chime again. I hurried into the courtyard and was suddenly shoved. I stumbled back a bit and glanced around, ready to give it to the one who had pushed me, but there was no one there. I shrugged it off and started for the school's entrance only to be pushed back again.
"You don't belong here!"I turned and noticed that my schoolmates were surrounding me. I closed my eyes for a second to regain my thoughts. What is going on?
"Murderer." I heard, "Murderer!" there it was again. It was being chanted through the air. Voices were spinning around me and when I opened my eyes again I was in the center of the courtyard encircled by my schoolmates. "It's Kaiba, the murderer." One said, I tried to see who it was but when I looked up to see his or her face there wasn't one to see; Just blank skin and dark eyes and a slit for a mouth. All of the students looked this way. "Jounouchi is gone because you…"
"That's not true! I never told him to leave." I yelled but nothing came out, I had no voice.
"Murderer. He can't even defend himself." Another blank student said. "I say we give him what he deserves." The student said.
I pushed past them and the world began to swirl again. I closed my eyes once more and when I opened them I was standing above Jounouchi. He was sitting, backed against a wall in our school hallway. He looked up at me with fear in his honey colored eyes. It was then that I noticed a familiar weight in my hand. I was holding my silver gun. I was pointing at Jounouchi. I tried to put my hand down. But it wouldn't listen. I didn't want to do this.
"You murderer." It was Jounouchi, his voice echoing clearly in my head. "You kill me and that's what you'll be." He said. I felt my trigger finger twitch and I knew it was coming.
"Run! You moron!" I screamed at him, again, no voice came from my mouth. "You are too strong to be gunned down in the halls of a school!" I screamed again, nothing.
"You bastard. You murderer!" he screamed and I felt my hand squeeze, I felt the gun go off in my head and tried to turn away but could not. I was forced to watch as the bullet entered Jounouchi's chest. He let out a cry as I shot him two more times.
"I didn't do it! It wasn't me!" I felt myself scream again and this time I could hear my voice only it was softer than I had intended it to be.
"I didn't do it." I said again and opened my eyes to find that I was back in my room. It had all been a nightmare. I hadn't had a nightmare in years. Damn that dog. It was just like him to torment me even when he was gone. I stayed in bed for a while, waiting for my breath to catch up. I cringed as I felt the sheets sticking to my body. I yanked the covers off and headed for the bathroom. "This is not happening." I mumbled as I turned on the water of my shower.
I peeled off my clothes as I waited for the water to heat up. I needed something to shake off the feeling of shame I had gotten from my nightmare. It was so vivid. I could even feel little drops of dream Jounouchi's blood as they splashed back onto me. I looked down at my heads to make sure there was no blood. None. I knew it. Steam began to fill the bathroom and I got into the water. Hmm. It felt good. I stood there, under the water for a while, unmoving, until I felt a cold draft.