Chapter 7
Secreted away in the darkest corner of the hospital roof, she leans against the railing and growls in frustration. Curses her luck as she paces and scowls toward the heavens. Watches as storm clouds gather above her, grey and ominous.
Two descendants! Not one, but two, in this very hospital!
"Now what do I do?"
The response she gets is a blast of wind so strong it pushes her back towards the door.
"No!" she yells, almost stamps her feet.
She was talked into this to begin with, against her better judgment, and now she needs some time to think. Despite feeling Serena's own heartache within her chest, she will not go back inside until Serena leaves. She will not make this worse, and so she ignores several more gusts and Aphrodite's instruction to head straight back down and lay claim to the woman she loves.
As if it could ever be that easy.
Serena doesn't realize, of course. Doesn't understand their connection, doesn't know what she is, what either of them are, and so Bernie can only imagine how confused Serena must be, about the kissing, about what they mean to each other, and about Bernie herself.
Not Bernie, Athena, she mutters, though the harder she falls the more blurred that line becomes.
Could she stay, now that her cover is blown, knowing Serena is somehow capable of penetrating her mask? She's not sure; though it seems inevitable there would be something special about any creature she could potentially call her soulmate.
Could she stay and inhabit this mortal body for as long as Serena might want her? Perhaps.
Would she abandon the heavens forever for this woman? Absolutely.
But as she kicks at the gravel beneath her feet and paces across the roof, she knows she shouldn't be here at all.
She was weak and selfish. She let her desires win out over logic. And despite the positives that have resulted from her partnership with Serena, there is no ignoring the fact that, were it not for her presence, Serena wouldn't have had so many battles to fight, and her – their - dear friend would not be close to death.
She should have left well before now, she realizes, as she leans glumly on the railing. Not today, but months ago. Should have spared these blessed mortals her interference. Such good people don't deserve her bad fortune, especially Serena.
She could go home. If she's honest, she misses the freedom and simplicity of her tunic. Even misses the heft of her battle-scarred golden armor, despite not having worn it for centuries, but she has grown as equally comfortable in human clothes. Relishes certain outfits, in fact, and the way Serena's eyes darken when she wears something other than scrubs.
She misses the determined march into war, too. The dirt, the noise, the smells... But some days it feels very similar on the ward, like a hard fight, and she relishes the challenge with Serena by her side.
If only Serena had continued to fight with her, she might have already made the decision to leave. Might have conceded defeat and returned to where she belonged. She wouldn't have crossed paths with Mr. Fielding, wouldn't have put everyone she cares about at risk. If only Aphrodite hadn't interfered, made it seem like Serena was falling in love with her, too, she might have had more willpower.
Another powerful gust from behind pushes her into the low wall atop the building, forces her gaze downward, to where Serena trudges across the carpark in darkness, her shoulders hunched and head hung low.
Athena curses herself for the pain she has caused.
"You shouldn't have made her love me," she whispers, her voice carried away on the wind. Watches as Serena huddles low beside her car, sheltering herself from the incoming storm, before opening the door and climbing in.
A rumble overhead signals the coming of the rain.
"I did no such thing!" Aphrodite thunders.
"But you knew!" she argues as tears begin to fall, as she watches Serena pull away. "You knew what was in my heart before I came here."
"And I promise you, sister, if she loves you… it is pure and true and no doing of mine."
And yet - oh god - she ran away.
As Serena's car roars off into the distance, she grips the railing so hard she thinks she might tear it from its bolts. What on earth has she done?
Lightning strikes close by and she stills. Closes her eyes and hangs her head.
"You stupid, stupid coward."
She could leave this instant if she wished. Return to Mount Olympus through the energy that surges to earth from the heavens, disappear in a flash. Use that singular moment when night turns to day to vanish herself from Serena's life. But, she fears, not so easily from her heart.
No. She is a warrior, and she will fight.
For Serena.
With a single weekend apart coming to an end, she's had two days to think and has genuinely done little else. Has resolved herself to not running from her feelings or from Serena ever again, thanks to some additional sisterly advice, and a lot of bolstered courage. But the reality, she quickly discovers, is more difficult than she'd anticipated.
"Morning, Lou. You – um – you haven't seen Ms. Campbell have you?"
Impatiently, the nurse roughly tugs a sheet as she makes up an empty bed.
"She's covering electives on Keller apparently," Lou says, with more attitude than Bernie has come to expect from the woman, as if Lou blamesher for the added stress.
Bernie nods sharply to herself, her eyes closed beneath a new wave of guilt. Right, she sighs. They are already a man down - whichis her fault, no matter what Serena might believe - so she can forgive Lou her tone, even if the woman doesn't know how right she is.
"Thank you," she mutters before slinking dejectedly away to her office.
Electives. Not visiting Fletch in ICU or popped downstairs for coffee, no. A full day, no doubt, of back-to-back surgeries, of appendectomies and laparoscopies and whatever else Serena can find to avoid being here, to avoid seeing her at all.
She fights down the lump in her throat, closes the door and buries herself in work. The pain in her chest stays for days, but, she reasons, it's no less than she deserves.