Chapter 8
She enters the office carrying two coffees, and is not surprised when Serena barely looks up, only mumbles a half-hearted thank you as she takes her cup.
Despite her efforts, Serena hasn't been able to look at her for days. Not since returning from her stint on Keller, preferring to work in silence when they're stuck together, and now, despite assuming it was because Serena had felt hurt and abandoned by her running away, Bernie knows there's another reason.
"Crazy Campbell, pudding and pie," a male voice had sung from behind her, the name making her head snap around as she'd stood in line at Pulses.
She'd watched in horror as another man finished the cruel nursery rhyme with apparent glee.
"Kissed a girl and made her cry!"
Both men wore maroon shirts. One, she suspects, might have been the porter with the Keller team in theater that day, but she'd left so quickly she can't be sure. They'd bumped shoulders as they'd left the hospital, laughed like they were proud of themselves.
It had made her blood boil.
And it still simmers even now, as she sits at her desk, as she recognizes Serena's odd behavior for what it truly is; Serena knows she is the subject of gossip and is patently mortified.
Oh god. Serena has no doubt heard it in the hospital, probably stumbled upon a bunch of tittering porters as she walked a corridor or turned a corner. Was probably, rightfully, offended by such childish behavior, has likely been cursing Bernie's actions ever since.
Or worse, she's heard it from Jason, because if the porters know, everybody knows. Serena has likely been asked about it very directly, in Jason's usual style, about why people would say his Auntie Serena has kissed a girl. Was likely grilled about why they weren't spending time with one another anymore and - oh god – it's potentiallyso much worse that she has to fight the urge to wish for a split in the earth beneath her feet, to welcome being plunged into the underworld.
She keeps out of the way, despite any earlier resolve. Even as Elinor insinuates herself onto the ward, carrying a video camera and promising not to get under everyone's feet. Despite wanting to challenge Serena's assurance that her daughter won't be any trouble on their ward, because she's heard enough about the girl to safely assume the chances of that are poor and that Serena is fooling no one but herself.
It keeps Serena busy at least, overseeing Elinor's attempted exposé on the NHS, minimizing her efforts to stir up the emotions of staff and patients alike. It's almost a relief, to have Serena's mind occupied with something other than what happened between them, to find something that softens the overly professional atmosphere Serena has forced between them, if only a little.
She doesn't want to get in between two fiery Campbells, knows the last delicate vestiges of her relationship with Serena wouldn't survive should anything go wrong, but she also can't stop herself from wanting to help and so she gives Elinor a few subconscious pointers. Manages, she hopes, to manipulate the angle, focus Elinor's eye on content that is interesting and educational, more about cutting edge trauma medicine, and less about defaming the very hospital they all love.
When Elinor finally announces it's her last day filming, that she has more material than she anticipated and clearly she's a God-given natural at this gritty documentary business thank you very much, Bernie thinks she can literally see some of the stress lines evaporate from Serena's face.
She pretends not to notice the sigh of relief Serena lets out when Elinor excitedly bounds off to lunch with Jason. Doesn't follow as Serena slinks off to their office, just smiles to herself that her good intentions have not forsaken her for once, that she is still capable of some good, and lets that relief loosen her own tense muscles.
They've gotten through it without any drama, without anyone threatening a lawsuit more importantly, and now all they need to do is finish out the day.
She sits on the bench outside during her final break. Enjoys the warmth on her face from a rare spot of sunshine, smiles easily even as a light breeze whips her fringe about her eyes.
Having completed all her usual checks on Fletch (despite knowing Serena's done them, too, each of them visiting ICU alone every day for reasons she doesn't want to dwell on), she feels buoyed.
His recovery is undoubtedly ahead of schedule and she whispers her thanks to the goddesses of medicine, healing, and recuperation to whom she had prayed during his surgery.
Her smile falls away in a flash as Serena's cut-glass tone pierces her mind, sharp and angry, like a trident to the back of the head. It brings her break to an abrupt end, chases the sunshine away as she rises from the bench and hurries back inside.
"God give me strength!"
The office door is open and the voices within are raised, so entering is not necessary to hear what's being said. Instead, she chooses to stand just out of sight, buckling to curiosity, wanting to know what kind of war she's walking into, despite the multitude of eyes that stare interestedly in the same direction.
"I would have thought you'd mention that you're a lesbian all of a sudden!"
"She's not a lesbian," Jason insists firmly, "it's more complicated than that."
Oh god. Not only are they talking - arguing - about what happened between them, it would also be hard not to infer from Jason's words that Serena has done plenty of additional talking about something that goes far deeper than simple hospital gossip.
"So, what is it then?" Elinor scoffs, her usual attitude back in full force, "besides some bizarre, Sapphic, midlife crisis?"
Bernie can picture Serena's eye roll. Feels the hurtful jab hit Serena's chest as if it were her own. Moves so she can see inside and fights the urge to intervene, to try and calm things before they escalate.
"Ellie, please -"
"No!" the girl screeches. "You don't tell me anything that's going on. I've just found out he's moved in and now this!"
"You're overreacting."
"Am I?" Elinor barks. "I'm always the last to find out what's going on in your life -"
Serena sighs hard as she speaks. "Oh, for heaven's sake."
"- So, you know what? Forget it."
The office door slams hard against the wall inside, rattling the windows and blinds as Elinor rushes out, followed quickly by Serena and Jason.
"Ellie! Elinor! Elinor Elizabeth Campbell don't you dare walk away from me -" But Elinor jogs away without turning back, puts more distance between them than Serena clearly has the energy for and she eases up as the exit door closes to separate them.
"Oh great," she mutters as Jason catches up.
"I'm sorry, Auntie Serena. I didn't mean to upset everyone."
She catches Bernie's eye for a second and her breath seems to hitch. Turning quickly away, she rubs her nephew's arm with care and ushers him back into the office. "Don't worry, Jason. It's not your fault."
No, Bernie thinks, as she, too, heads for the exit. The fault is hers.