AN: So I just decided to turn my previous standalone oneshot into a collection where I could post assorted DCMK oneshots! I continue to write silly oneshots based on silly headcanons. I guess this is set in some kind of hypothetical future where Shinichi's back in his own body and everyone's dating finally? *long shrug*

(Un)amusement Park

Characters: Shinichi Kudo, Ran Mouri, Heiji Hattori, Kazuha Toyama, Kaito Kuroba

Summary: In retrospect, Shinichi probably should have seen the fact that Heiji was a huge thrill ride junkie coming- it was Kazuha that he didn't expect.

Let's go to the amusement park, he'd said.

It'll be fun, he'd said.

He should have known from the look on Heiji's face that he should have outright rejected this otherwise generous sounding double date offer.

"C'mon, we've barely even gotten started yet!" Completely oblivious to the suffering of his fellow detective in a way that only the Osakan detective could pull off, Heiji flashed him a wide grin. "Let's get in line fer the Atom Smasher again!"

"We've already ridden the Atom Smasher four times." Shinichi finally got out, just barely managing to catch his breath, casting a glower up towards his friend- one that proved to be completely ineffective. "Can't we move on to something else, Hattori?"

"Eh, but five's the magic number, Kudo-kun!" Kazuha chimed in, bustling with excitement. "Besides, this is our first time to Tropical Land, so Heiji an' I have ta make sure we get in the full experience!"

"W-well, perhaps we can ride something other than thrill rides for awhile, Kazuha-chan?" Ran ventured, giving her friend a hopeful look. She appeared to be managing better than her boyfriend, who just about seemed ready to faint away dead on his feet. Before riding the Atom Smasher four times, they had ridden the Galactic Drop five times, and the Mystery Coaster at least seven times- in fact, she was pretty certain that they hadn't ridden anything but thrill rides since they came here.

As it turned out, both Heiji and Kazuha alike were huge thrill ride junkies. Heiji, they would have expected such behavior from, but Kazuha? Sometimes it was easy to forget just how alike the pair of Osakan childhood friends could be- except for right now, as they both shared a mutual expression of excitement at the mere thought of going on the very appropriately named Atom Smasher for a fifth time.

"We can't do that, Neechan! What's the point of goin' ta an amusement park if yer not gonna ride on the thrill rides?" Heiji asked, folding his arms in front of his chest. "Right, Kazuha?"

"That's right, Heiji!" Giving her boyfriend a nod, Kazuha beamed from ear to ear, reaching down to take Ran's hands, hauling her off of the bench that she and Shinichi had collapsed on to catch their breath. "Amusement parks are all about thrill rides!"

"W-well, I suppose that's not necessarily wrong, but..." Ran trailed off a little, glancing over towards Shinichi, silently begging him to help her out here a little. There had to be a way to escape from this endless chain of thrill rides- and there were still plenty in the park that they hadn't hit up yet.

Normally, she and Shinichi didn't mind such things, and even had fun on them- but not when they rode them over and over, with no breaks. Somehow or another, Heiji and Kazuha proved to be completely unaffected by this, and somehow or another, managed to be just as excited each time, excitedly screaming their lungs out at every sudden drop, sharp turn, or fast spin.

"You're killing us, Hattori." Shinichi said finally, placing a hand over his face. "Ran and I just aren't built like the two of you."

"Eh, really?" Heiji blinked, glancing between the pair, as if he honestly hadn't managed to notice this at all. Some detective he was, Shinichi couldn't help but think to himself- but then again, he was used to Heiji being completely oblivious to body language and social cues- he wasn't quite certain what Kazuha's excuse was though.

"But they're fun!" Kazuha said with a slight frown, exchanging a glance with Heiji. "Well, I suppose if the two of ya aren't actually havin' a fun time, then maybe we could try somethin' else..."

At the crestfallen expression on Kazuha's face, Shinichi internally winced, sparing a brief glance over towards Ran- and practically groaning. Watching as her expression visibly shifted as she saw her friend's disappointment, Ran quickly grabbed Kazuha's hands in her own.

"No, we're having fun! We can keep riding them with you, Kazuha-chan!" Ran blurted out, almost without thinking. It only took her a moment to realize what she had just promised however, and she quickly blanched- but judging from the excitement on her friend's face, she knew that it was already far too late to take it back.

"Then, let's not waste any time then! C'mon, Kudo!" Grabbing Shinichi's hand and hauling him to his feet, Heiji and Kazuha's grins mirrored each other in a way that was almost more frightening than any haunted house.

What had they gotten themselves into?

"Kudo said no." Heiji reported with a slight frown, hanging up his phone. "How were things with Neechan?"

"Ran-chan said no, too." Kazuha said, the frown on her face mirroring that of the boy she had grown up with. Come to think of it, nobody they ever invited to go to an amusement park with them would ever accept a second invitation from the pair to do so again- why was that? "That's strange. I wonder why? Maybe they've got somethin' goin' on?"

"Yeah, that's probably it!" Heiji said with a nod. "After all, they had such a good time with us when we went ta Tropical Land, so I thought fer sure they'd jump all over a chance ta go ta USJ with us... but I suppose it can't be helped if they've got other things ta do. We'll just have ta invite someone else."

"Then, how about Aoko-chan?" Kazuha proposed. "We don't hang out with her an' Kuroba-kun all that much without Kudo-kun around. I think it would be the perfect chance ta get ta know 'em a little bit better."

"Kuroba and Nakamori, huh..." Heiji trailed off, before nodding his head, flashing her a bright smile. "Sounds like a plan, Kazuha! Let's invite them right away!"

When Kuroba Kaito informed the detective of the east that the detective of the west had invited him and Aoko on a double date to an amusement park, he didn't quite understand at the time why Shinichi had taken him by the shoulders, and gave him a very stern look.

"Good luck." He'd said.

By the time he understood what those words meant, it was already far too late to escape.