To Tame A Demon

by Faith Hawkins

Rin is 23 years old and still awaiting the return of Sesshomaru. He is already 5 years overdue. When Kaede finally makes her realize a Demon cannot ever truly love, can Rin move on with her life and stop waiting for a Demon to lay claim to her? When Sesshomaru finally does arrive, is he too late to claim the only human he's ever loved?

18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Rin ran into the forest adjoining the meadow as fast as she could. She was mortified! Bad enough she had allowed Sesshomaru the liberties he had taken but to be caught in the act by Inuyasha!

Out of breath, Rin slowed to a brisk walk and grimaced as she pressed the heel of her palm against her heart. God she could still feel him. Her fingers flew to her swollen lips and she flinched at their tenderness. She could vividly recall Sesshomaru's lips against hers, the silky smooth texture of them as they rubbed against her own, the way he nibbled and sucked them until she thought her mind would explode. His hands on her body…his tongue in her mouth. Rin flushed in embarrassment and what she would later recognize as arousal as well.

Rin suddenly froze when she heard running steps bearing down on her from behind. She quickly dashed into nearby shrubbery and hid. She waited until she saw Kohaku slide to a halt not more than a few feet from her. He looked around and scanned the terrain around him with his eyes. His glance moved over her hiding spot only to return again. "Rin I know you're there. Come out." He called gently.

Rin sighed in exasperation before she stood and stepped out of her hiding spot towards Kohaku. "I can't be alone for five minutes?" She grumbled.

Kohaku's eyes widened in surprise at her attitude. "Kagome asked me to come after you. You ran out of the house like the hounds of hell were after you."

"I just needed some space!" Rin shouted before she covered her mouth in horror at her outburst.

"Rin, are you okay?" Kohaku asked with concern disturbed by her out of character shout.

Rin slowly lowered her hand and ran her fingers nervously through her hair. "I don't know." She whispered, sounding very lost.

Kohaku immediately pulled her into his arms and held her, offering what comfort he could. "What happened Rin?"

"Everything. Nothing. It's just…everything is changing so rapidly. I'm having a hard time keeping up."

"What's changed?" Kohaku asked, growing more concerned by the minute.

"Sesshomaru…he…we…did things." Rin whispered.

Kohaku stilled. "I see." He said with a carefully blank expression.

Rin stepped back and Kohaku moved his hands to rest on her shoulders. "I'm sorry Kohaku. I shouldn't have said anything, least of all to you."

Kohaku smiled tenderly at her. "It's okay Rin. You just caught me off guard. I've told you, you can tell me anything. I'll always be here for you. I wish it could be more but I'm happy to just be here as your friend."

"Thank you." Rin said sincerely. "I should probably be speaking with Kagome but she's been acting so funny around me lately. She always looks like she's about to cry and can't quite look me in the eye. I wish I knew why but she won't tell me."

"So, what happened?" Kohaku asked, bringing the subject back around without really wanting to know the details.

"Not a lot." Rin quickly tried to recover from her obvious lie. "It was just unexpected."

"Really?" Kohaku asked her doubtfully.

"What do you mean?" Rin asked.

Kohaku sighed. "C'mon Rin. Anyone with eyes can see how devoted you are to Sesshomaru. You willingly allow your life to revolve around him, it's been the same ever since we were kids."

Kohaku gently caressed the side of her face with the back of his knuckles. "But you're not a kid anymore. You've become a beautiful young woman anyone could lose their head over. Even such a powerful demon as Sesshomaru. Is it really surprising to you that Sesshomaru finally lost his head with you?"

"Yes!" Rin cried out as she tore herself out of his arms and paced back and forth frantically while wringing her hands in agitation. "Sesshomaru was supposed to come back for me. He promised. Every year he didn't broke another piece of me. Every month with no word from him was agony. Every week, every day, every hour…every second I felt abandoned. He had become the only constant in my life and I was terrified he had forgotten me. I don't know why I thought if he would just come back everything would be perfect. Just like before. I could take care of him again. Just be near him and make sure he was okay."

Kohaku watched her lovely eyes glisten with tears.

"Do you know what it was like for me?" Rin asked Kohaku quietly. "For my heart and soul to be with him while my body was stuck in that village by myself like an empty husk? I was a freak. I had no friends. Everyone feared the "Demon's Pet." Rin spat out. "As foolish as the decision may have been in light of what happened, I finally decided to strike out on my own. To let the dream of what my life had been go and try to find something to relieve the pain."

"Your dream? Rin, no one dreams about serving a demon." Kohaku said.

"I was happy Kohaku. Despite everything I was happy just being in Sesshomaru's presence. He's everything to me."

Kohaku quieted with her revealing statement.

"Then suddenly he came back." Rin said with the delight of a child. "He rescued me for what had to be the thousandth time and I was ecstatic. I thought I could finally live again. Not just breathe in the hollow existence my life had become." Rin's face fell as her voice lowered and bitterness she had been burying finally pushed to the surface. "Sesshomaru couldn't wait to be rid of me. He wanted to take me back to the village and leave me there. Again. He needed to leave me." Rin's voice cracked and Kohaku took a step towards her only to have her retreat with a quick shake of her head. Kohaku reluctantly stopped and watched as she struggled to regain her composure.

"I tried Kohaku." Rin said softly with her head down, not wanting to see Kohaku's face or the pity she was sure was there. "I tried so damn hard to do what Sesshomaru wanted because all I've ever done was try to please him. But…I couldn't do it this time. Something inside me refused to go back there and die. Because going back there would've killed me. Knowing I would never see him again destroyed me. Then he came back for me and I had to force myself to accept his decision. Then we got to the village, and after everything that happened, and he decided to allow me to stay with him...it was everything I had always wanted finally delivered in my lap. I was happy for the first time in forever. Then it was Kitsune and her schemes and then…it's like there was always something there preventing me from just being happy. I'm at the point where I'm actually scared to smile because I'm still waiting for the next catastrophe to strike."

Kohaku's surprise from Rin's rant held him immobile as he continued to listen.

"But in the end it didn't matter. He didn't want me Kohaku. He never wanted me, even when I was a child. I was always an obligation to him. A curiosity at best. I tried so hard to be worthy of service to him but no matter what I did, it was never enough. After Kitsune's attack on him and he wouldn't wake up I panicked. I could barely function from the worry and despair. What would I do without him? It all became too much. I ran the gamut from depression to misery and then suddenly one day it was gone. All of it. The pain, the fear…the longing to see him open his eyes. It was like a switch had been turned off inside me. I could breathe again." Rin looked at Kohaku as tears streamed down her face. "I was so relieved. My heart could beat without every pulse resonating for him. My mind could think without every thought conjuring up his image. I felt such relief and such a profound sense of guilt because of it."

"Rin…" Kohaku said, unsure what he could possibly say to comfort the girl breaking before his eyes.

"I actually felt guilty for not putting him first. I felt guilty for feeling free. For feeling light. Like a great weight had finally been lifted from me. I-I couldn't feel anything for him anymore. But I almost didn't care. It was nice to not have that constant torment within me I've always felt. Now he's finally awake and I can already feel myself sinking into that familiar bog again. I'm sinking and I can't seem to stop myself. Then he's kissing me and his hands are touching me and I'm being pushed further down until it all just fills my lungs while I'm screaming for help but no one can hear me."

Rin fell to her knees as she struggled to hold back her sobs. "I can't survive him Kohaku. Not again."

Kohaku knelt beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as she continued to cry. "Why now Kohaku? Why is he pushing me back where I don't want to be?"

"Where don't you want to be Rin?" Kohaku asked.

"I don't want to love him anymore. I'm tired. I see Inuyasha and Kagome and I think, that's what it's supposed to be like. You're supposed to be able to look at the other person and share secret smiles and glances. Know what the other is thinking and just feeling blessed to be by their side. When that switch shut off I thought I could finally move on and find something like that." Rin shook her head and wrapped her arms tightly around Kohaku, burying her face in his chest. "But now I can feel it all coming back and I can't stop it."

Kohaku held her while she cried. He held her until her sobs slowly turned to sniffles and she finally succumbed to sleep, exhaustion overtaking her slim body.

Sesshomaru stepped from the shadows of a nearby tree and slowly walked towards Kohaku and the sleeping woman in his arms.

Kohaku instinctively tightened his hands on her, not willing to release his burden into Sesshomaru's care. But one look into the demon's anguished eyes and Kohaku knew he had heard everything Rin had said. He had heard it all and was obviously suffering for it.

Kohaku gently deposited Rin into Sesshomaru's arms and watched in awe as he very tenderly rubbed his chin against her temple before slowly walking into the nearby trees and disappearing into the night.

Demons don't love. Kohaku smiled before shaking his head at the absurdity of it all. Demons may not love but that full-fledged demon was definitely in love. Kohaku could easily recognize the signs of a fallen comrade. And both to the same remarkable girl. Rin deserved her fairy tale and her first and only love. If anyone could tame a demon it would be Rin. Kohaku sighed before shaking his head ruefully and starting his long trek back to Inuyasha's home.

Rin awoke on a comfortable mossy fern bed on the ground and to the sound of water hitting rocks. She gingerly raised herself up and took a careful look at her surroundings. Plants were growing up the walls of the cave she was in, to an opening up above where moonlight easily seeped through. Vines hung low above the crystal clear blue water of the hidden pool and the ground was spongy with moss covering the dirt and rocks beneath. The beauty of this hidden lake nearly took her breath away. She could see the stars above from the opening at the top of the cave and the water nearly danced, causing the moonlight to bounce off of it and then against the walls causing them to sparkle.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

Rin gasped and turned to see Sesshomaru leaning against the walls of the cavern, hidden in the shadows. She swallowed audibly before mutely nodding her head in agreement.

"No one else knows of this place. Not even Jacken." He said.

Rin could barely make out Sesshomaru in the darkness, but his gleaming golden eyes stared back at her with unerring focus.

"I've kept it shielded since I found it. It's remarkably soothing. Wouldn't you agree?" Sesshomaru asked.

Rin turned and gazed at the water and took a deep breath. He was right, it was very calming. "Yes." She replied.

"I brought you here in the hopes it would help ease your inner turmoil."

"What makes you think I have inner turmoil?" Rin asked quietly.

"I overheard your conversation with Kohaku." Sesshomaru revealed.

"You heard all of it?" Rin asked, her eyes snapping back to Sesshomaru in disbelief.

"I don't want to be the cause of any further pain for you Rin." Sesshomaru said quietly with regret.

Rin bit her lip. He had heard everything. She quickly went over what she had been rambling on about to Kohaku and felt tears sting the back of her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize to me for Rin. How can I fault you your honesty? I would however like the opportunity to clarify a few things?" Sesshomaru asked, urging her to say yes with the intensity of his gaze.

Rin nodded cautiously.

Sesshomaru approached her slowly, as if she was a bird he was worried would fly away at the least provocation. "I never wanted to be rid of you Rin. I did not handle myself well with you." Sesshomaru said with self-recrimination.

Rin frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

Seeing her confusion Sesshomaru considered her for a moment before appearing to reach a decision. "I think it's only fair if you knew a little more about my past. It might be the only way for you to truly understand why I've bungled this entire situation."

Rin's brows furrowed in the center but she waited for him to continue. She nervously wrung her hands in her lap but looked at him expectantly.

Sesshomaru lowered his eyes to look at the ground before he rubbed the back of his neck briefly, the only indication of his tension before his features smoothed out. "From the moment I was conceived, my parents had my destiny laid out before me. They knew I would be a great demon lord and control most if not all of the lands if I so chose as my father's, Inu no Taisho's, first born and heir. But I needed to be trained first. Most demons master their initial abilities by the time they first begin to walk. I on the other hand did not until I was six years old. Lady Mother was so agitated over this, thinking I was weak, that she attempted to murder me on several occasions."

Rin gasped in horror. How could his mother have tried to kill him? Rin's heart ached for that little boy that had to face that type of monster.

Sesshomaru looked up at her and his granite features softened. "Obviously she didn't succeed Rin. The Dog General intervened each time."

Rin sighed in relief. He hadn't been alone was her only thought. His father had looked out for him.

Sesshomaru shook his head. "Not for any emotional reasons you may think. His decision really had nothing to do with me in particular. I was his only heir at the time so I'm sure that factored into his decision to spare me. He later told me it was because he couldn't bear the thought of bedding Lady Mother again. If she had succeeded in killing me he would have been obligated to help her bear him another child as was their agreement."

"But he was your father! Inuyasha always told me what a great man he was." Rin exclaimed.

"Demon, Rin. The Dog General was a great demon. The most deadly and feared. He never showed human sentiment until after he met Izayoi, Inuyasha's mother." Sesshomaru corrected her.

Rin's brows furrowed in sympathy as she looked at Sesshomaru, picturing the young and defenseless child he had been, the survivor he had learned to be and at the hands of his own mother no less.

"I continued to struggle, Lady Mother continued to provide accidents for my demise and my father would intervene when necessary."

"When necessary?" Rin asked, almost unsure she wanted his answer. She also noted he never referred to his mother as other than Lady Mother.

Sesshomaru shrugged. "He would wait, give me an opportunity to take care of the situation myself. Only when it appeared my demise was imminent would he interfere."

"He would allow you to get hurt?" Rin asked, disgusted with his parents.

"There were times I would become badly injured, but every lesson was valuable. Lady Mother never caught me with the same trick twice." Sesshomaru continued. "When I finally reached six years of age she tried to drown me in a nearby lake. I was finally able to use my abilities to not only escape but wound her as well. She still bears the scar from my attack on her left cheek." Sesshomaru said with ill-concealed pride. "She was so delighted by my display of power she decided to continually attack me at various times throughout each day to make me stronger. By the age of eight, my powers had far exceeded hers. She didn't dare attack me again after that. Later, though I was still young in demon standards, by human I was a fully grown adult male. Father brought home his human mistress and she bore him Inuyasha. The Dog General was very attentive and gentle with Izayoi and though Lady Mother never truly cared for my father, she deeply cared for her position and felt the human female was a threat. I was already traveling quite a bit by that point but father's keen interest in his human and half breed son was unusual and drew my attention. Father and I were never close but we respected one another. I had long discussions with him about his unnatural interest in his mistress. Lady Mother was a powerful demon, yet he not only risked her ire but her enmity by placing such high value on his mistress above her own. I warned him, but he was confident in his ability to protect his new family from any threat and there was little reason to doubt him. Izayoi's pregnancy had taken its toll and though still beautiful, resulted in her becoming weak and fragile. Delicate even."

"Inuyasha rarely if ever speaks of his mother." Rin said.

"He wouldn't would he? He was barely a newborn when she along with father were slain."

"Inuyasha's mother must have been a great beauty to win your father's affection from your mother." Rin offered kindly hoping to encourage him to continue speaking of Inuyasha's mother. A bit of warmth would surface in his eyes and tone when he spoke of her.

"There was more to Izayoi than just her physical beauty. She radiated from within. Much like you." Sesshomaru said meaningfully to Rin. "For some ungodly reason I have yet to ascertain Izayoi took a great interest in me and always tried to tend to me and my affairs."

"She wanted to mother you." Rin realized with a grin.

Sesshomaru raised an imperial brow. "I was no longer a child at that point so her actions were needless."

"She sounds amazing." Rin said, happy to know there had been at least one person in Sesshomaru's life that had appeared to care for him as he deserved.

"She was kind." Sesshomaru agreed quietly. "But she did not belong in our world. She was too frail. When Lady Mother finally openly attacked Izayoi I had to stop her."

"I'm glad you did. But why would you bother?" Rin asked curiously, aware of Sesshomaru's usual disinterest for such matters.

Sesshomaru hesitated a moment before a frown settled on his face. "I don't really know why. I gained nothing by protecting her. She was very gentle and very stubborn. No matter how many times I ignored her, she would always give me a smile and would consistently question me about my day."

"She cared about you." Rin said with confidence.

"Maybe. Father banished my mother after the attack but allowed me to stay because of my intervention. I stayed with them only a short time before I had to move on as well."

"Why?" Rin asked.

"I didn't belong there. Inuyasha was adored by his parents and they would shower him with affection. Izayoi either didn't respect my boundaries or pretended she didn't see them." Sesshomaru said with a grimace. "According to her we were all family. She would consistently try to bring me into their fold and father followed her example and began to be openly affectionate with me as well, or at least he attempted to be."

Rin couldn't help but laugh at Sesshomaru's pained expression. He smiled at her for a moment before he said somberly. "When father and Izayoi were finally slain…I was angry. I avenged them both but it never should have come to that Rin. Father was considered the most powerful demon in that time, and he was still murdered. I swore I would be greater than he was. Not only would I exceed him but I would never stop seeking greater power and knowledge. Father's arrogance and my complacency resulted in the death of that fragile human female."

Rin stared at Sesshomaru with her heart aching for him. He may not have realized how much he had revealed with that statement, but the death of Inuyasha's mother and his father had affected him deeply. Rin finally understood his thirst for knowledge. Despite what he himself might think, he did it because he never wanted to lose anyone else. "How were they killed?" Rin asked.

Sesshomaru walked to her side before he joined her on the moss bed. He sat with his legs crossed and stared at the water before he continued with Rin at his side.

Instinctively, wanting to offer what support she could Rin boldly laced her fingers through Sesshomaru's. In surprise, he glanced down at their locked hands and immediately regretting the move, Rin attempted to let him go.

Sesshomaru immediately tightened his grip on her hand and refused to allow her escape. He liked the feel of her hand in his. "Humans from a different dimension, the very same where Kagome comes from, had begun dabbling in the black arts aggressively at the time." Sesshomaru continued. "Father could control the demon world easily but human's learned how to summon low level demons and control them at their behest. The possession would only last for so long but it was enough."

Rin listened to him with rapt attention and squeezed his hand.

Sesshomaru squeezed back. "There were demons who allied themselves with those humans and taught them to harness portals. Though father sent out word for all to be on the defensive many disregarded his words. They thought him paranoid. After all, what demon of worth couldn't handle a human? But it became a slaughter. Many demons were destroyed and others were being controlled. We underestimated the human numbers. Simple as that. Father was bombarded from all sides. He warned Lady Mother and she fortified her stronghold in response but father refused to leave Izayoi or Inuyasha's side and stayed close to them. He sent me to handle the outer perimeter and work my way back to his side. After months of constant attacks he inevitably weakened and their home was besieged before I could get back to them. Izayoi had been killed and father managed to destroy the links the humans had made to our world minus one that has been guarded since. Father perished not long after and now Inuyasha and Kagome guard that final portal, the very drinking well Kagome herself used to travel from her time to ours."

Rin cried silently at Inu no Taisho and Izayoi's tragic story. "What happened to Inuyasha?"

"I had little need for the child. I would have killed him if not for father sending him to stay with Myoga who went into hiding not much long after that so I could not find him or the baby." Sesshomaru said matter of factly.

"You would have killed Inuyasha?" Rin's jaw dropped in shock.

"If I had perceived him as a threat I would have killed him without a second thought. Myoga was an old friend of father's and he could trust in him to guard the child until he had grown enough to protect himself. Myoga is also the one who crafted Tenseiga and Tessaiga from father's fangs."

Sesshomaru grew quiet, staring somberly over the water. "Father never should have died. If he hadn't been so preoccupied with protecting Izayoi and Inuyasha he would still live."

"You don't know that." Rin said.

"If not for them, he could have easily defeated his enemies that night. But Izayoi and Inuyasha had made him vulnerable and weak. It's a position I swore never to allow myself to be in."

Sesshomaru turned so he was facing Rin and with his forefinger he lifted Rin's chin up until she was staring into his golden eyes. "It's a vow I found myself breaking a little more every day from the moment we met. I now understand father's determination to see not only to their protection but their happiness. Izayoi refused to leave his side. To please her, despite my warnings, he allowed her to stay with him. His attention was divided as a result. I swear to you Rin, before anything else, your safety will always come first."

"You'd send me away again?" Rin said with horror.

"I will always come back for you." Sesshomaru tried to reassure her.

"No!" Rin cried out. "Every time we've been apart, bad things happen. The only time I've ever been truly safe was when we were together."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "Kitsune found you because you were with me."

"Kitsune knew to look for me. Even if I hadn't been at the camp, she would've searched for me until she found me to set her plan in motion. If I had been at the village she might have killed everyone just for sport. Either way she would've grabbed me."

Despite his misgivings, Sesshomaru had to agree she had a point. He had effectively painted a red target on her back since she was a child. The demon world knew she belonged to him. As much as their fear of him gave her safety, those like Kitsune would know she was his one weakness and do everything in their power to exploit it.

Coming to a decision he wasn't particularly fond of, Sesshomaru grit his teeth. "Your safety comes first. Whether you agree with my decision or not, you will obey. Give me your word."

Rin hesitated for a split second before she nodded her head.

"Say the words Rin." Sesshomaru insisted.

"I swear I will obey your wishes." In regards to safety, Rin added silently.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her and Rin couldn't help but think he knew damn well what she had added silently to herself.

Gathering her courage in the following silence, Rin whispered the words she had held within her heart for years. "I love you."

Sesshomaru stilled but said nothing.

Rin licked her lips nervously and searched his eyes. "Do you love me?" She asked.

Sesshomaru's eyes darkened and Rin held her breath. "Love is not an emotion I'm familiar with. For many centuries I've only ever considered it a human fallibility."

When Rin lowered her eyes Sesshomaru tried to explain himself. "There's very little in this world I don't understand, but the connection my father had with his human, the same I see between Inuyasha and Kagome, what you name love…is unique to me. I have never seen anything like it. I want to understand it."

Rin felt her heart beat a little faster. He wanted to understand it? Did that mean he was willing to try and love her?

Sesshomaru saw the hope bloom in her eyes. "When we first met there was a strength in you I learned to admire, albeit reluctantly. A tenacity and stubbornness that wouldn't allow you to leave me alone in those woods. I'll admit, when you first joined us you held little importance to me. Yet you stubbornly followed me and became a constant in my life. I won't lie and say I cared for you at the time, but you brought me warmth. Your laugh, your smile…you even managed to win over Jacken despite how badly you both bickered." Sesshomaru finished with a grin.

Rin laughed.

"I considered you a silly even at times annoying human child…but you were very loyal." Sesshomaru said.

"A pet." Rin said with a hint of bitterness.

Sesshomaru smirked. "Perhaps. At first."

"At first?" Rin asked with a slight frown.

"Rin, hear me when I say this. I never wanted to be rid of you. You're mine."

Rin's breath stuttered at the possession she could see blazing in his eyes for her.

Sesshomaru leaned in closer and pressed his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes, attempting to cool his ardor for her as he continued. "As much as it pained me…I needed you to determine your own fate, whether that was with a life with other humans or to continue your dangerous path with me. I knew the moment I left you in that village with Kaede all the warmth you had generously given, that I had grown accustomed to would be gone. Though I selfishly wanted to keep you with me I knew I couldn't. At least not yet."

"I never asked for that choice. You forced it on me." Rin whispered as a tear trailed down her cheek.

"You need to understand. I only wanted to do what was best for you."

"A part of me hated you so much for leaving me." Rin admitted.

"I know."

"I kept praying you'd come back for me…but I think a large part of me was terrified if you did." Rin confessed softly.

"Why?" Sesshomaru asked finally looking up at her with their faces only inches apart.

"I don't trust you to not leave me again."

"I know Rin." Sesshomaru said with a hint of sadness in his eyes. "When I returned for you all those years ago, you were no longer that child that trusted me implicitly. There was a wariness in you that hadn't been there before. I hated the knowledge that I was the reason for that wariness. Despite that, you threw caution to the wind and launched yourself at me." He said with a tender smile.

Rin laughed as she remembered that day. "I was so happy to see you. All those negative feelings I had been harboring vanished because you were finally with me again." Rin slowly bowed her head. "Didn't last long though did it?"

"Rin," Sesshomaru leaned forward and cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. "Listen. You were no longer the child I remembered. You had matured into a stunning young woman and I…I was rattled by my intense attraction to you." He finally admitted reluctantly.

Rin froze and stared at him, unable to believe what he had just said. "Y-you were attracted to me?"

Sesshomaru nodded his head.

"Why? Why did you leave me then?" Rin demanded.

"Your protection has always been at the forefront of my thoughts, and in that moment I knew I had to protect you from myself. I was a threat to you. I couldn't allow that. I left as quickly as I could to give myself a chance to figure out what had happened to me. When I couldn't think of a satisfying answer I did everything I could to keep myself occupied so I wouldn't run back to the village and claim what I believed to be rightfully mine…and in doing so destroy us both."

Rin regarded Sesshomaru in wonder. "You wanted me?"

Sesshomaru grinned mockingly while allowing his thumb to trail over her bottom lip. "Want is too mild a word for what I felt for you."

"But you knew I wanted to be with you. That I wanted to stay with you."

"I didn't believe you really knew what you wanted. I didn't realize what the village represented for you or what it did to you. I was still trying to protect you from me."

"Well stop!" Rin cried out in frustration and climbed into his lap. She kissed him wildly, desperately as he wrapped his arms around her like steel bands and held her tightly against his chest.

Rin pulled back slightly and rained kisses all over his face. "Please stop pushing me away." She begged desperately. "You're not protecting me, you're killing me. I can't stand it anymore. Just let me be with you. It's all I've ever wanted."

"Rin…I don't know if I can love you." Sesshomaru said regretfully. "You'll want for nothing and I will guard you until the end of my days...but you deserve to be loved. This is your last chance to walk away. I won't have the strength to let you go again."

Rin felt her heart squeeze painfully at his words but she pushed that feeling away and smiled brightly. "That's okay. I'll love you enough for both of us." She said as she nuzzled his neck with her nose.

"Rin…you have to be sure this is what you want. I don't want to hurt you." Sesshomaru whispered into her hair, trying one last time to save her from himself.

"You only hurt me when you deny us both what we want. I want to stay with you forever. I don't want you to ever send me away again. My whole life you've been everything to me. Let me love you." She said as she suddenly ran her tongue along the hot flesh of his neck and she had the thrill of feeling him shudder in her arms.

Sesshomaru groaned in surrender before he claimed her mouth with his own. He allowed his hands to trail over her back and press her more firmly against his chest.

Rin squirmed in his arms and he hoisted her up until she sat astride his lap. He deftly loosened the belt around her waist and gently pushed her back. He used his hands to stroke down her neck until he reached her collarbone. Holding her eyes with his he placed his fingertips underneath the lapels of her kimono and slowly moved them to her shoulders, dragging the kimono open with them. When the kimono dropped open to her waist Rin immediately bowed her head forward, allowing her long flowing black hair to cover her naked breasts.

Sesshomaru smiled tenderly at her modesty and used his hand to drag her forward by the nape of her neck until he could kiss her again. He couldn't stop kissing her. Her mouth was heaven to him. She shyly followed his lead as he deepened their kiss until she writhed in his arms unabashedly. He cupped her breasts in his hands and her gasp of surprise quickly turned into a moan of pleasure as he softly kneaded them without breaking their kiss. He tweaked her nipples and flicked them lightly with his fingernails until they pebbled into hard peaks.

Rin's head felt so heavy from the heady sensation she let it fall back onto her shoulders, involuntarily offering her breasts to Sesshomaru's seeking mouth. Rin panted in ecstasy as he continued to tease and play with her. Shivers raced up and down her spine, nearly to her toes as she held herself steady with her hand on his shoulders. Rin couldn't seem to stop her hips from rotating on his lap and Sesshomaru's moans as one hand clamped on her buttock to try and keep her still only spurred her on. Sweat beaded her brow as all the shivers seemed to race down to her core between her legs.

When Sesshomaru's teeth gently bit down on her pebbled nipple, Rin's shout of pleasure surprised them both as her world spun crazily around her. She trembled violently in his arms from the aftershocks before she finally regained her breath. Her forehead was pressed against his and she shyly peaked at him from beneath her lashes as he smugly rolled her hips forward in his lap again causing her to shiver again.

"How do you feel little one?"

Rin stared at him in surprise. He wanted to talk now?

"Rin, answer me."

"I feel…happy."

"Happy?"

"Exhilarated." She said with a tiny smile.

"Do you know what just happened to you? You experienced it last night as well."

Rin remembered the way he had touched her last night and the feelings she had experienced.

At her silence Sesshomaru nibbled softly on her jaw. "That was an orgasm Rin."

Rin smiled at his playfulness even as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. "This was better."

"It'll only get better from here."

Rin finally looked him in the eye in shock. "There's more?"

"Much more. We're nowhere near done."