Tsubame didn't so much as look at Ginoza for three days. She avoided Akane at all costs as well. As betrayed as she felt, she found it hard to stay away from the two of them, but how could she handle the embarrassment? Her encounter with Mr. Fujimoto was never supposed to get out. It was violating enough that it happened. Now her co-workers knew about it.
They pity me. No wonder Ginoza was trying to teach me self-defense. He's been overly kind to me since day one. How long has he known? Maybe he thinks I'm an easy target.
She glanced at him from her desk. He looked as exhausted as she felt. She bitterly hoped he was losing sleep over upsetting her. He nodded off as he sat in his chair.
"Ginoza, you aren't paid to sleep on the job," Mika barked as she walked by.
"I'm not paid at all," he grumbled. The three of them were on night-shift, which Tsubame found to be somewhat enjoyable. At least she wasn't laying alone in her room terrified that someone would break into it and attack her.
"I beg to differ. Freedom's a pretty good income if you ask me."
"I didn't," he growled.
Tsubame had never seen him so hostile. She started to feel bad. Maybe I should apologize. Her heart told her yes, but her pride tied her to her chair. What do I need to apologize for? Being raped? Wanting some privacy? She steeled her resolve and turned back to her computer screen.
The hours ticked by in silence. When Akane reported for the morning shift, Tsubame was startled by the door.
"Good morning," she greeted them.
A sour Tsubame and grouchy Ginoza simultaneously ignored her.
"Ohhkay…" She set her bag down on her desk and took her seat.
"See you this afternoon," Mika called over her shoulder. When the door closed behind her the three of them let out a cumulative sigh of relief.
"She's actually unbearable," Ginoza grumbled.
"I'm sure Enforcers used to say that about you, Mr. Ginoza," Akane laughed. Ginoza checked the time on his wristband.
"I wonder if Shion turned off Yayoi's alarm again. Do you mind if I go?"
"You can wait for Kunizuka and Hinakawa. They're only a few minutes late."
A few seconds later, Yayoi and Sho entered the room. Ginoza got up and walked silently past them. Yayoi glanced between him and Tsubame. Before sitting down at her desk, she knelt next to Maekawa.
"Hey, I know that Ginoza messed up, but I also know that he's pretty hard on himself. If you could find the ability to forgive him, it'll help him a lot."
"Noted," Tsubame grumbled. She stood and walked out the office door. Ginoza was entering the elevator down the hallway. She sighed before calling out to him to hold the door. When she stepped on the elevator, he shifted as far away from her as possible.
"Ginoza… I'm sorry I got so upset with you. It's just that, that report…" She blinked back tears. "What happened to me that day… I'm not over it. I d-don't think I'll ever b-be. When you said you r-read about it… I just…" She crumpled beneath her panic. Ginoza joined her on the floor of the elevator and placed his hand on her shoulder.
"Why are you apologizing to me? I should be the one asking for your forgiveness. I stuck my nose where it didn't belong. I should've just asked you about it."
Teary-eyed, she looked up at him and felt a familiar calm wash over her.
"You have Masoaka's eyes," she murmured.
He cleared his throat and looked away nervously. The door to the elevator opened and Ginoza offered his hand to help her up.
"Thank you, Ginoza."
He dipped his head and led the way down the hall to the apartment.
"I'm exhausted," he yawned.
"I noticed. Not sleeping?"
"Not well. You?"
"Not at all," she admitted. "I'm not comfortable alone in my room. The best sleep I've had since leaving Isolation was five days ago in the paddy wagon…"
"What's wrong with your room?"
"It's the window," she squeaked, embarrassed. "I know we're up way too high for anyone to break in… but…" She was struggling to subdue her panic attack.
"It's okay. I understand." He reached out to brush a tear from her cheek, but regretted it when she flinched away. He froze. "Sorry. That was stupid."
"No, it's okay. I want to work on it. I don't want to be afraid of people anymore."
She focused on watching his face while he gently placed his hand on her cheek. His warm hand smelled soothingly clean, and she couldn't help but notice the gentleness despite his callouses. Ginoza tried to find somewhere to focus on her face, but kept feeling himself being pulled toward her big, brown, doe eyes. When he realized the draw of them he looked down only to become fixated on her mouth. His breath hitched and his heart fluttered in his chest, but he forbade himself from leaning forward to kiss her. That's the last thing both of us needs.
"Good?" he checked, slightly breathless. She nodded. "Good. Let's get you to bed. Afternoon shift starts in eight hours."
They walked together through the common room to the hallway and stopped at her door.
"Ginoza… Do you think you could stay with me until I fall asleep? I feel safe when I'm around you, and I really want to rest." She looked dejectedly at her doorframe.
"I think I can do that," he agreed. "But just until you're asleep."
He followed her through the door and sat in her desk chair. She changed using her costume device into an oversized shirt and flannel pajama pants.
"You're sure you're comfortable with me sitting here?"
"To be honest, I feel more comfortable right now than I have in a long time. Sorry if that's off-putting. I just have a hard time doing the whole alone thing when my room isn't secured like it was at the rehab facility. Is that weird?" She slid under her blankets.
"Not really," he shrugged. "It's just kind of contradictory that I'm the one who makes you feel better. I could go get Yayoi if you'd prefer."
She shook her head. "She's working. Even if she wasn't, you're just as good, if not a little better. Yayoi and I aren't close… Truthfully, you're sort of my best friend. Granted, my options are limited…"
"Now that's weird," he laughed.
"Yes you are. Now I'm going to bed. Night." She flopped back onto her pillow and curled up under the comforter. "Thanks again, Ginoza."
"You're welcome."
He stayed until he was sure she was sound asleep. Creeping out of her room and down the hall to his was the single most important thing he'd felt he'd done all week. Sleep is a blessing, and we both certainly need one of those. For the first time in weeks, he was out as soon as his head hit the pillow.
A knock came at Ginoza's door much too soon. He rolled out of his bed, hair disheveled and button-down wrinkled, and staggered over to the door to open it.
"Hey," Maekawa said as he answered the door. "I just noticed you were still asleep and figured you might want to shower. You still have an hour."
"Thanks."
"I'll be out in the common room."
He nodded, shut his door and grabbed his costume device before walking to the bathroom he shared with Sho. The holo menu appeared on the shower door and he tapped his preferred setting before stepping into the water now falling from the shower head. Suds filled his hair and washed away down his body. He let the water run over him, his arms limp at his side. He found himself thinking through different chess moves from his game with Maekawa at the beginning of that week. It was strange how easily she'd played into his strategy. The most interesting part was how she did it knowingly, just to protect her Pawns. His thoughts turned to Kogami. There was no doubt in his mind that Kogami had a plan. There was also no doubt that Akane planned to play right into his hand. Whatever Kogami had in mind, Ginoza hoped that he and his friends were more important to the Players than his Pawns had been to him.
He was interrupted from his reverie by the sound of the holo blaring a warning and the smell of something burning. He grabbed a towel and raced to the kitchenette to find a flustered Maekawa attempting to shout the holo away, telling it that yes, she did know something was on fire. Ginoza began to smile as Maekawa finished beating down the flames coming from the pan on the stovetop. She looked up, her cheeks flushed.
"I t-tried to cook you l-luch because you had been s-so nice to me, b-but I never really l-learned, and the damn holo…" The realization that he was wearing only a towel shut her up. She turned away from him, embarrassed.
"Sorry. I didn't really have time to grab my costume device." He blushed and walked back to the bathroom, chuckling to himself. By the time he'd returned Maekawa was sulking over the pan she'd toasted.
"What were you making, anyway?" His hair was still wet, but he was now properly dressed.
"You're going to laugh," she mumbled.
"No I won't. Promise."
She looked feebly up at him.
"I was just going to make some rice…"
"In a sauce pan?"
He stifled a giggle.
"See?! I told you you'd laugh!" But his smile was contagious. She chuckled at the obvious mistake she'd made. "I just thought it would cook faster in a shallower pan…"
"You were right," he retorted, the amusement shining in his eyes.
Maekawa lost control and doubled over into a giggling fit, which weakened Ginoza to the point that he was struggling to stand. When she snorted, he fell to the ground.
"I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard," he admitted, trying to quiet the spasms in his chest. She crawled around the island just enough to look at him lying on his back on the tile.
"I don't think I ever have," she smiled.
"First time for everything," he shrugged.
"I mean, I did just try to cook."
A beep on both their wristbands interrupted them. They answered at the same time.
"We need you in the office." It was Akane. "Hurry."
Ginoza and Maekawa rushed to the Division One office. They found Akane, Yayoi, and Sho huddled over Akane's desk. Mika had not yet reported for her shift. On the desk lay another hand-addressed, open envelope, and a new letter.
Whenever that form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundations on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their safety and happiness.
"What is this?" Ginoza asked.
"It came in the mail this morning. The mail drone arrived before Mika today, so it delivered to Akane." Yayoi looked to the Inspector.
"She can't see it," she breathed. "Kunizuka, I need you to keep this with you. Lock it up. We'll talk about it later. Ginoza, go meet Inspector Shimotsuki in the hallway. I'm sure she's almost here. Distract her long enough for Yayoi to get to the elevator. Hinakawa, take my personal holo screen with you back to the apartment and delete all record of that letter."
The three of them nodded and turned to attend to their tasks. Tsubame stayed at Akane's side.
"I need you to just go about your business like nothing is wrong, Maekawa. Like I said, we'll talk later. Right now our focus is to keep Shimotsuki from suspecting that anything is different."
She nodded and sat down at her computer to pull up the Ministry's recommended news. Unsurprisingly, everything in Tokyo was perfect as always. No mention of any of the handful of crimes the PSB had handled over the last week. Nothing but sunshine and prosperity…
"Ginoza for THE LAST time, my hue is FINE. Maybe if you'd worry about your OWN, you wouldn't be where you are!" Mika stormed through the office door in a tirade. Though her words were flat, and he suspected she didn't know the half of the actual reason he'd been demoted, they stung enough to notice. Tsubame saw Ginoza flinch as he followed the Inspector through the door and felt the stab of Shimotsuki's words in her own side.
"I see you're in a good mood," Akane noted sarcastically.
"When my subordinates constantly undermine my ability to do my job, I get moderately upset. Sorry nothing ever bothers you, Akane." She tossed her bag onto her desk. "Any mail today?"
"It came right before you got here," Akane informed her.
"Thank Kami," she sighed. "What are you looking at?"
Tsubame bit her tongue and turned in her chair to face Ginoza who'd sat down at his desk next to her.
"That's what I thought," Mika grumbled. "Any calls today?"
"None. Sho and Yayoi just went on their lunch break. They were helping me fill out some paperwork up until a few minutes ago."
"I'll double check your reports to make sure they didn't change anything, then."
Ginoza rolled his eyes.
"You do realize that Enforcers have to sign off on all reports you send up to the Chief, right?" His temper was getting the better of him.
"A signature at the bottom doesn't necessitate an Enforcer to fill out any other part of a report. What's to keep you from changing it to say something that could get an Inspector in trouble?"
"Um, how about the obligation to protect and maintain an Inspector's Psycho Pass for starters?" Ginoza gripped the arms of his chair to keep himself seated.
"Right. Because that's in your power," she spat accusingly at him. "You couldn't even protect your own! Instead of doing your job and keeping yourself clear, you ignored your duty to keep yourself healthy, put your entire team at risk, and ended up cloudy. Did I miss anything?"
"Yes, actually," he retorted. He could no longer contain himself to his chair. He stood, shouting, inching towards the Inspector. "You forgot the part where I watched my best friend walk out of my life to kill the man that murdered my father right in front of me. But that's alright. It's an easy detail to overlook."
"Ginoza!" Akane warned him. "You'll get in more trouble than she will."
"Your father was a dog Ginoza! That was his job. You're lucky he was there to save your ass! Then again, maybe not, if that's really what earned you your demotion. I saw people I loved die too, yet here I am doing the job you couldn't finish."
Akane had pulled Shimotsuki's Dominator from the bag she'd brought in and pointed it at Ginoza. As much as she didn't want to stop him, she didn't really have much of a choice.
Before Tsubame even knew what she was going to do, she was on her feet. She stepped up next to Ginoza and grabbed his human hand to tug him back.
"She's not worth it Gino," she whispered, eyeing the barrel of the Dominator now pointed at them. Her voice dragged his mind out from behind the haze of his anger. When he started to back down, Akane visibly relaxed, but Shimotsuki laughed.
"As for your friends walking in and out of your life, Ginoza, maybe they get tired of caring for you. I know I am."
It was as if the anger flowed in a direct current through Ginoza's arm into her. Tsubame whipped around and slapped her palm into the side of Shimotsuki's face. In the same moment, an electrifying sting smashed into her side and she lost consciousness.
The beeping of monitors and the smell of antiseptic kept Ginoza from falling asleep where he sat in the chair in Tsubame's infirmary room. She'd been out cold all night. After the exchange with Mika, he'd carried Tsubame himself to the infirmary and Akane had made the decision to take all three of them off the shift to cool off. He wasn't really sure what time it was, but according to his aching back, he'd been sitting in the room far longer than he'd meant to. But he couldn't bring himself to leave.
Why did she have to slap Shimotsuki? She should've left it alone.
He looked up at the woman lying motionless in the hospital bed. The image of her hooked up to so many machines made him cringe. It reminded him of waking up with a new arm and no family. He leaned forward and pressed his eyes into his palms, his elbows stabbing into his knees.
I will not be the cause of someone else's pain. I also can't afford to let someone else hold too much of my own happiness. I don't think I'd be able to withstand it if another person left me. I'd be institutionalized.
He sighed. He recalled their lunch debacle the day before and smiled.
How do you let other people in without becoming so dependent on them that it breaks you when they leave?
"G-Ginoza?"
His head snapped up to look at Tsubame, whose voice croaked from lack of use. He could hardly hold himself back as he stumbled out of his chair to her bedside.
"Maekawa…" He knelt next to her and carefully placed his hand on top of hers. "Do you need anything? I can get one of the nurses."
"N-no, I'm okay."
"Okay? You got shot with a Dominator!"
"Yeah. Zero out of ten would not recommend," she joked, sticking her tongue out at him.
"Maekawa, this is serious. Why did you hit an Inspector? You're going to be in trouble when you feel better. Mika's going to make your life Hell."
Tsubame shrugged.
"She was being unacceptably cruel. If there's one thing I'm thankful for about the situation that clouded my hue, it's that people like Masaoka and Sasayama were there to fight the battle I couldn't. I guess I just want to repay the debt…"
"That's foolish," he grumbled.
"That's all I've got." She looked away from him. "It may be foolish, or childish… Maybe even selfish… It's just… You're the first friend I've had in ten years. I'm not going to pretend that isn't important to me… That you aren't important to me."
"I'm not important enough to step in front of a Dominator for. Maekawa, if your Crime Coefficient had spiked like it did before…"
"I know," she mumbled. "I couldn't help myself. She was using the most painful parts of your life to cut you down like it was of no consequence to anyone. It just… made me angry, is all."
He dropped his head, burying his face in the sheet on her bed in frustration. She rolled onto her side, making sure not to move her hand out from under his.
"I think you're important enough," she admitted. "Kinda why I'm here."
The door to the room slid open and Akane walked in, arms crossed and brow furrowed.
"Mr. Ginoza, I need to speak with Ms. Maekawa. Could you please step out for a moment?"
"It's my fault she's in here," he growled into the mattress. "Whatever you have to say, you can tell me too."
Akane placed a hand to her temple.
"Fine." She stood at the end of the bed. "I've spent all morning talking to Inspector Shimotsuki and convinced her to not file a Work Incident Report. That being said, I felt it was appropriate to re-work the Division One schedule to prevent the three of you from having to be on shift together without the rest of the team. The clashing of personalities is more than evident after what happened last night. We'll need to work on everyone's professionalism."
"Some more than others." Ginoza sat up and looked at Akane. The disdain he felt for the whole situation was written across his face.
"I'm really sorry about the way Inspector Shimotsuki was treating you, Gino, but my hands are tied. The fact is that Mika's the one with the black eye."
"I gave her a black eye?" Tsubame was genuinely surprised. Ginoza chuckled.
"Seems your thumb hit her in the eye. She won't be forgetting that anytime soon."
"Focus, please," Akane huffed. "Since I had to change the schedule, you're both off until the night shift tonight. I need both of you to come in because Sho and Yayoi are going to be exhausted. Otherwise, we'll be short-handed and it'll just be me and Ginoza. Do you think you'll be up to it, Maekawa? I tried to hit you in a spot that wouldn't hurt too bad."
"I think I'll be able to do that," Tsubame nodded. "Can I move up to the apartment? I'd like to do a few things before work."
"I'll go talk to the doctors and see if they'll discharge you. You're both lucky, you know. Regardless of the awful things Mika said, she's still an Inspector and you're still Enforcers. I'm sorry it's got to be that way, but that's just how it is. Feel better, okay Maekawa?"
The Inspector turned and left the two of them. Ginoza helped Tsubame remove the wires and IV drips from her arms before she tried to stand. He grabbed her clothing, which was folded and sitting on the small table by the bed, and placed it next to where she sat with her feet hanging off the edge of the bed.
"I'll wait for you in the hallway," he offered. She nodded and stood carefully as he stepped out of the room. He was surprised to see Akane still standing there, leaning against the wall.
"I sent a nurse to push her discharge papers through." She cast a sideways look at him. "I can't figure out, no matter how much I think about it, why our newest Enforcer would feel a strong enough loyalty to someone she's only known for a few weeks to step in front of a Dominator for them. I was hoping you could enlighten me."
"It's not what you're thinking, Inspector," Ginoza assured her.
"That's a shame," she said, a sad smile spreading across her face. "She seems to function better with you around. Well, besides when she's protecting you from Shimotsuki, that is."
"I can't afford something like that. You know that, Akane."
"Part of me thinks you can't afford to continue to go without it, Ginoza. Isolating yourself from everyone around you isn't good for you."
"You're one to talk," he scoffed.
"Well, I don't have to worry about the same things most people do. For whatever reason, I can overwork and stress myself out and my hue won't change at all. But I can see it wearing on you. And the only place to go after this job is Isolation. Please don't push yourself that far. As much as I stick to myself, I'm glad to have you around."
Ginoza's eyes fell to the floor. He jumped at the door opening and reached out to offer Tsubame assistance. His quick movement towards her startled her, causing her to sidestep into the doorframe. Akane and Ginoza cringed at the banging of her elbow into the metal.
"Sorry. I got a little over-zealous. Do you need my help?"
Tsubame blushed, nodding and reaching for Ginoza's arm. Akane smiled to herself before turning away from them.
"I'll see you both tonight. Get some rest."
Once the two of them finally made it to the apartment, Ginoza made tea while Maekawa sat quietly on the couch. He brought her a mug and sat down next to her.
"Ginoza," she whispered, "do you think you could tell me a little about Masaoka?"
He glanced at her over the top of his cup as he blew cool air over it.
. "What do you want to know?"
"I don't know… What he was like, I guess. I only knew him briefly…"
Ginoza tightened his grip on his mug, the knuckles on his hand turning white.
"My father was an incredibly stubborn, bitter old man with a deep-rooted grudge against the SIBYL system. You see, he was a detective before SIBYL was created and didn't take kindly to the change. By the time he'd made peace with it, his Psycho Pass was too far gone to go back. He was labeled a latent criminal and demoted to an Enforcer for the PSB when I was still in grade school, shaming our family and making it really difficult for us to get by on his last name. After a few years of a tanking marriage, my parents divorced. In order to give myself a better chance at becoming an Inspector, I took Mother's last name, which she'd re-adopted. I had little contact with my father until I was hired by the PSB. When I began work here, our relationship didn't improve. I treated him as I treated any other Enforcer…" His voice trailed.
"What is it?"
"I was a pretty big asshole back then." He laughed. "It's strange the humility that comes from being knocked so low that you'll hit your head on the basement if you stand up."
"The important part is that you are who you are now, right?"
"I'd like to think so." He set his tea on the coffee table. "I've come to accept that I'll never measure up to the image I always had of myself… But if I could be half the man my father was in the end… Drinking habits and all… I'll be content."
Maekawa scooted toward Ginoza and smiled over at him.
"He saved my life, you know. Twice, really."
"We have that in common then," he sighed. "The idiot sacrificed himself to save me from an explosion. He even let a mass murderer get away from the PSB… Damn fool." Ginoza closed his eyes against the tears pricking at his eyelids.
"I'm sorry, Ginoza. I shouldn't have brought it up."
"No, it's alright. Now you know why you punched Shimotsuki."
They laughed together at that.
"She's such a bitch."
"She's got her reasons, I suppose," he shrugged. "Not that I know what they are… Maekawa, may I ask you about what happened to you? I read Kogami's report, but I'd rather hear it from you."
The depression settled into the center of Tsubame's chest like a dagger sunk deep into her sternum, anxiety bubbling its way out of the wound. But she choked it down.
"I… I can try to t-tell you… I can't promise I'll be able to f-finish."
"That's okay. I understand."
Tsubame took a deep breath and looked down at her drink.
"Mr. Akio Fujimoto was the biology instructor at my preparatory school," she began. "Since it was something I was interested in, I took as many of his classes as I could and joined his after school club. I didn't really notice anything odd about him until the day I set off the street scanner. I had just left Mr. Fujimoto's office." She paused to take a nervous drink of her tea.
"He assaulted you on campus?" Ginoza's eyes widened.
"Not exactly… He just made some really awkward remarks… We'd been talking about reproductive mechanisms of different organisms… Like how flowers attract bees for pollination and how female mammals lure males to them when they're in heat through pheromones… He told me that I was sort of like a flower, and that I should look out for bees like him…" She set her drink on the table for fear of spilling it all over herself. She couldn't control her shaking hands. "I ran. I didn't know what he meant, but I didn't like his tone. I've always been pretty good at reading other people's intentions, and his turned very predatory in that moment… I didn't know what to do. I made it to the park between the school and my house when your father caught up to me. He scared me, initially, but when he said Sasayama would shoot me with a Paralyzer if I ran, I stopped and followed him back to the cruiser where Inspector Kogami decided to take me home."
"Did you tell them what happened?"
She shook her head.
"I didn't want them to go after Mr. Fujimoto. He was my favorite teacher, and I thought I had maybe just misunderstood him… I have always been rather excitable. I told my parents though. They didn't believe me… Well, my father didn't at least. He thought I made it up to cover up something I did wrong and sent me to my room early. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I heard someone walking down the hallway. When I went to see wh-who it w-was… My parents…" She covered her mouth as the memory flashed through her mind.
"You don't have to keep going."
She looked at him and took a deep breath.
"No, I… I'm sick of k-keeping this to m-myself. I w-want to get it off m-my chest. I've never t-told anyone about it. N-not even the therapists in isol-lation." She squeezed her eyes shut against the brewing panic attack. The warmth that found its way to the back of one of her balled fists surprised her, but she held as still as possible as Ginoza picked up her hand and smoothed the tension in it away.
"I'm not good at this, but here it goes," Ginoza admitted, a tear slipping down his cheek from the corner of his eye. He smiled timidly as he moved carefully to position himself closer to her, not letting go of her hand. "It's okay. If you want to tell me, I promise to keep it between us. If you don't, that's okay too. Don't push yourself, you'll cloud your hue."
She peeked up at him and smiled.
"Thanks Ginoza. What is it that you're bad at?"
"Being supportive without being overly protective… Even now I couldn't help but warn you about your hue. I have… issues… with worrying myself sick about the people around me… It makes me a bit of a control freak." He hid his eyes behind his bangs that fell messily down to his chin. "Somehow I feel like if I hold on tighter to the next person, they won't leave me like everyone else has."
"If you promise not to leave me, I won't leave you."
"Don't make promises you can't possibly keep. It's not fair to anyone." His mood soured. No one can make that promise.
"Ginoza…" She moved her free hand to push his hair back away from his face. He looked at her, the shock evident in his expression. Intimate contact with anyone had been infrequent in school, and non-existent since he started working at the Ministry of Welfare. It's rather pathetic that something so minor counts as intimate contact to me. Nevertheless, he certainly didn't want her to stop the gentle tugging of her fingers in his hair. A gnawing need to be closer to her rose in his chest, but the fear of her disappearing before his eyes kept him firmly planted in his seat.
"I'm feeling a bit tired," he lied. His exhaustion had been consumed by the burning desire to cross the space between them.
"Me too," she admitted. "Maybe we'll finish our conversation tomorrow when we're off."
"Maybe," he nodded, moving to stand. He stopped as Tsubame's grip tightened on his hand.
"Wait…" she murmured, "can you promise you won't freak out if I try something?" Her entire face turned red.
"Define freak out." His heart somersaulted in his rib cage.
"Can you just sit still for a second?"
"I can." Apprehension dripped from his voice.
"Okay. Just give me a moment." She readied herself briefly before leaning over to wrap her arms around Ginoza's chest, burying her face in his shoulder. He looked down at her with a bit of amusement. "Thank you for being so kind to me, Ginoza. It means a lot to me."
"I should be thanking you for the same thing," he admitted. "Do you mind if I hug you back?"
"Umm… just don't squeeze too hard… claustrophobic…"
"Right." He laid his arms softly on her back and rested his chin on the top of her head. The hint of melon tickled his nose delightfully from her hair. When she pulled away from him he resisted the impulse to cling to her longer, if only barely.
"Do you think you could sit with me again tonight? It really helped me."
"Sure thing, just let me put our mugs away. I'll be there in a second."
She nodded and walked to her room.
Ginoza couldn't help but feel torn about Maekawa. He could no longer deny to himself how attracted to her he was, but he also didn't know how he could feel comfortable pursuing someone so fragile. She's still fourteen in a way, he thought. That man not only robbed her of her childhood, he stole the rest of her life while he was at it. And I'm certainly not equipped for this… I'm hardly stable myself. He set the mugs down in the sink. I don't want to hurt anymore, and if that comes at the cost of feeling anything… then maybe that's what I want. He stood outside her door for a moment before knocking, his father's voice scolding him. Nobuchika, denying yourself feelings certainly didn't help you before. Why do you think it's a good idea now?
He tapped a light knock on the door.
"Come in!"
Maekawa was already in her bed under the comforter up to her chin.
"Cozy?"
She nodded.
"Good," he laughed.
"Ginoza?"
He looked up at her from his place in her desk chair.
"I just want you to know that consciously I'm not afraid of you. It's just my knee-jerk reactions that seem to get me sometimes. I really do trust you."
"Why is that?" he questioned.
"Well, if you were going to hurt me, you've had three opportunities by now and haven't done anything to make me think I shouldn't trust you."
"Good to know," he smiled. "You should try to go to sleep now."
As if in response to his comment, she yawned.
"No problem."
"Goodnight, Maekawa," he sighed.
"You can call me Tsubame, Ginoza."
In seconds her eyes were closed and she was breathing peacefully from her place in her bed. Ginoza snuck out of her room as he had before and flopped down on his bed, not bothering to undress.