AN: THIS IS A VERY SILLY, SILLY ONESHOT. My silliest yet perhaps. When you get an idea this silly that pops in your head and you don't go ahead and write it, I am pretty certain you are committing some kind of crime. So therefore, I wrote it. Please let Shinichi live, Kazuha (she wont').

Oh, and also, while I'm on the subject of oneshots, if you all remember the blackorg!Heiji oneshot from chapter four of this oneshot collection, I've actually turned it into it's own, proper story now. Go ahead and check out Black Echo if you were interested in that! I've got some really great stuff planned for that, so I hope everyone takes some time to check it out and let me know what they think of the first chapter (which is the original, but revised oneshot + a new scene at the end).

Friend of a Friend

Characters: Shinichi Kudo, Kazuha Toyama, Heiji Hattori

Summary: Kudo Shinichi was a dead, dead man.

Kudo Shinichi was a dead man.

It wasn't because of the Black Organization- that matter had finally- finally!- been put behind him. For once in his life, it wasn't their shadow that was looming over his back, causing him to glance nervously over his shoulder.

It wasn't because Ran was angry at him, even though she had been upset- justifiably so, he thought, when he'd revealed the truth to her not that long ago. With the antidote finally completed, and it finally being safe for him to return to being himself, he'd done so without an ounce of hesitation. After all this time, he knew that he needed to tell her the truth. Their relationship couldn't go forward if he kept lying to her.

But she'd understood his reasons in the end, and she'd forgiven him. It was not his own childhood friend hunting him through the streets of Tokyo that fine morning, but rather, someone else's.

He'd never seen Toyama Kazuha this angry before even once. And he thought that Heiji was the hot tempered one of the two. Clearly, he had been wrong.

He'd left the decision of telling other people about the matter up to Ran in the end. She'd decided against telling either of her parents- and had decided against telling Sonoko. But she had, apparently, decided to tell Kazuha, feeling that she might worry about where Conan had gone off to all of a sudden, and why she wasn't able to send any letters to him.

Perhaps that had been a mistake. Because Shinichi was pretty sure that Kazuha was out for blood- his blood, to be exact.

"Come out already, Kudo-kun!" He could hear her voice sharp and clear, cracking through the air like a whip, sending a bolt of panic through him. Oh god- he really should have taken the time to learn a martial art, he thought to himself. Because if Kazuha caught him, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was going to wipe the floor with him.

They had thought that Kazuha had been joking when she said she was going to come to Tokyo in order to fight him, to make up for all the pain and suffering that he had put Ran through, to make up for all the lies that he had told her best friend- but apparently not. She meant what she said, right down to the letter. And not being very enamored of the idea of trying to fight someone who was a national aikido champion, Shinichi had made a very quick decision.

He'd made a break for it.

Thank god he had fast, adult-sized legs now. He might not be stronger than Kazuha, but he was definitely faster and knew the terrain better. As long as he kept avoiding her for the rest of his life, he'd never have to fight her.

Speaking of his own so-called best friend, when he'd given Heiji a desperate phone call, begging him to come to Tokyo, to come collect his childhood friend. He was the one who grew up with her, he must know some magical way of calming her down, of making her less angry at him.

"Nah, there's nothin' ya can do about it, Kudo. Just let her kick yer ass, an' everythin' will be fine between the two of ya again."

Thank you ever so much, Hattori Heiji, Shinichi thought dryly to himself. He was calling him because he didn't want to get his ass kicked- as he'd put it. Where was their friendship when he needed him the most, in his most desperate hour?

"Oh, there ya are, Kudo-kun!" All but flinching as he realized he'd paused to catch his breath for long enough to allow Kazuha to catch up with him- didn't this girl ever get tired?- Shinichi gave her a nervous look, carefully taking a step back. "Now then," With a crack of her knuckles, and a broad grin on her fact that looked anything but friendly, Kazuha took a step closer to him.

"I've got some words ta have with ya."

Oh god. This was it. He was going to die.