12: What The Jester and the Friend Saw (but the Maid didn't)
"Teela!" Orko's naturally-otherworldy voice took a positively unholy squealing tone, causing both women to wince in pain. Teela privately hoped the improvised wards she'd placed on the walls when Maureen's back was turned would dampen the Trollian's outburst enough so no-one in the hall would be disturbed. Bad enough that the Queen's own Maid had intuited a key point to their circumstances, but for the Trollian to now See her so clearly – never mind react so badly to the sights – invited the very questions Adam hoped to avoid until at least after the Open Court.
Alas, it appeared The Goddess had other plans. Teela and Maureen were less fortunate as they suffered the full effect of his distress. Both winced in actual pain at his hypersonic cries all but deafened them. Teela could feel her pictograph foci, shrouded as it might have been, squirm and shift in equal discomfort. She suspected that it would well have slid off her skin entirely and hide itself away, were it able to accomplish this.
"What happened to you?!" Orko continued to cry. "What ha…happened to your eye? To your…your skin? What is that on your skin?! It looks li…like…!"
"Orko, be silent!" Teela's command echoed off the walls and ceiling and floor and furniture and every other available surface. She winced again at becoming momentarily light headed, not having had to make such a simple projection in too many years. She blinked away the flashing spots before her eyes and refocused herself on the floating Trollian, himself pressed against the nearby wall, his expressive eyes wide as dinner plates and conveying nothing short of absolute panic. Teela cursed herself, albeit silently but vehemently. Orko had done nothing to merit such an outburst by her. Fortunately Adam was away from their rooms else he'd have surely come running, and mother wyrm alone knew what Orko would do when he saw Adam's own scars.
She quickly shook her head and took control of this situation before it became worse. "Maureen, I will put your suggestion to the Prince. I'm sure he'll agree. We'll speak again after supper. Orko, come with me." With a calm that was a complete lie, Teela walked out of the parlour and made directly for her old room. She had no doubt Orko was floating behind her, keeping a careful distance given what he could obviously see swirling about her. Maureen had already made herself scarce, shuffling off to attend to Court business no doubt. Teela made a mental note to speak to Adam about modifying the woman's portfolio so she wasn't in danger of collapsing.
Thankfully there were no impediments, human or otherwise, in their way back to her old rooms. She breezed in and waited for Orko to cross the threshold, then quickly shut the door and engaged the lock. She also whispered a single Word that would ignite several glamours she'd placed there.
Orko gave another small squeak of surprise. Teela was relieved to sense that's all it was; surprise, and not distress or panic. The Trollian was more powerful than he knew, whereas her powers were at low ebb in this new/old world of hers. To match the two would be foolish in the extreme.
"What…what is all that?" Orko murmured in something close to awe. She followed to where he was pointed: a patch of the ceiling where a small swirl of ether Forces circled across the stone.
"Nothing that didn't already exist here, Orko," Teela stated calmly, hoping her manner would likewise keep her small friend calm and steady. Forces like this were easily disturbed, and she had no wish to try to explain why her (former) bedroom suddenly became caught up in an invisible whirlwind. "Orko? Orko! Please look at me."
The Trollian only reluctantly tore his eyes away from the ceiling and back directly at her. There was no missing the wince that shook his small, hovering form as soon as he did. "Tell me what you see," Teela commanded, summoning an authority only those who have nurtured and raised unruly children and grandchildren might conceive.
"You…um…your left eye is…it looks like its missing…at least that's what it looks like…" He drifted closer, his eyes roaming all about her and the space around and above her.
"Go on," she urged gently.
"There are…things… all over you. Except…except I can see they aren't really there…I mean, they aren't physical things…snake things…right?"
"No, they don't exist as corporeal entity. That which you see on me is my totemic foci. Through it, I can channel and shape Forces into Words for affect." Orko didn't appear to be paying attention, which puzzled Teela a bit given his earlier outburst. "Orko? Is there something…?"
"Teela, don't move!" The jester had gone utterly still himself, as sure a sign of panic from him as any. Teela was about to demand answers, when she felt an all-too-familiar Form snake its way around her shoulders and torso. She knew this one, recognizing it easily, and couldn't contain the sputtered laugh of relief at it.
"Ah, " she giggled, the familiar touches of the Form finding equally familiar purchase on select nerves. "I should have known you would find your way to me." Her giggles soon became nigh uncontrollable as the Form offered its version of an embrace, a delta-shaped 'head' sliding itself beneath an open hand. Teela quickly began to find it difficult to breath as her laughter was quickly getting out of control. "S…sss….stop…stop…STOP!" she commanded, taking the silk-smooth scaled 'neck' of the Form in her hand and applied the gentlest pressure to it.
As the Form had no actual physical substance, this required her to summon and channel energies she would normally have avoided, in ways she would have normally eschewed. But between Orko being able to See this one, and no doubt a few souls outside were certain to have heard her uncharacteristic laughter, Teela judged action was needed. Hence her rather vulgar handling of her old Form friend and addressing it more directly than was normally her wont.
She threw a quick glance to Orko, who was staring now with rapt fascination. At least that's how she interpreted it; given the Trollian custom of keeping ones 'face' covered before all save their selected mates didn't make reading those adorable if erratic sprites any easier. Teela elected to deal with her friend first, Orko second.
"Now listen, you," she said with the kind of low intensity reserved only for dire moments. "Float about me all you wish, but no spooking others here or now. Understood? I've enough to deal with without you making a nuisance. No slipping around elders just to make them jump, no swallowing bright things off the table, no carrying infants off to the garden to play…I don't care how much they amuse! I'll not have the palace up in arms because you feel bored, understood!"
Her friend, of course, didn't understand a word of this.
Being an entirely different order of life from mere flesh and blood, its comprehension of her and her's was more akin to a Terran bee's to the world around it: a world rich in scents and colors, where actions were governed by instincts and customs that were more racial than conscious.
It had no way to receive the words spoken to It, and even less sense of self or what humans would think as individual will. Those were things utterly meaningless to its existence, and It came and went as nature and needs dictated.
Thus, just as the common (if irreplaceable) Drone was forever fixated upon the Queen of its hive, so too was It fixed upon the silent wants, unexpressed needs, and unconscious directives of the Queen of the Nine Spheres.
The Queen commanded It remain close to her and not deviate from there, It would do just that and no more. Even the beautiful if utterly alien glow-thing that hovered nearby would not tempt it from there; the glow-thing was very tempting indeed, if only for the abnormal warmth that emanated though it, for this place The Queen – and by extension It as well – now resided in was a cold place for Its tastes.
Sensing her friend's acquiescence, Teela relaxedher grip on It and withdrew her hand. She took another moment to calm her breathing before turning to Orko. The diminutive Trollian looked, if anything, still more on edge. "Orko, please introduce yourself." She didn't hiss or order as she otherwise might; Orko was putting her more in mind of little Raand right after he Saw his first manifestation, right down to the extremely tentative way the former extended his hand brushed it about where her friend's head would have been. Orko's perceptions must have been somewhat different from her own, as his palm brushed a wide area above the head itself, yet her friend shivered in a way she thought of as pleasure.
"Elders and Ancients…" Orko breathed. "I've…I've never felt something so…"
"Alive?" Teela offered, and Orko nodded slowly.
"Yes…yes…alive…" The Trollian echoed, but then gave himself a small shake and withdrew, eyes once more upon her exclusively. "The…there's something else around you." The wonderment in his voice left Teela just a tad unnerved. He wasn't looking panicked now; he seemed positively enthralled by her.
This was a less ideal outcome than one might've thought. Hard experience had taught Teela that enthralled followers were always more dangerous to one's life than the most driven and implacable enemy; both could be fanatics in their own way, but to have a fanatic at one's back left the eternal risk of getting a knife in the spine when one wasn't looking. Teela seriously doubted Orko had a violent bone in his body, but the last thing she wanted or needed was for her little friend to be so…distracted by whatever he saw in or around her that he forgot to defend himself if danger got that close.
She therefore elected to head that danger off at the pass. "Orko? Orko, listen to me!" The Trollian took an extra beat before refocusing upon her directly.
"Sorry, Teela. What?"
It was all Teela herself could do not to curse in the other language; if her friend found its way here, Ancients and Goddess alone knew what else might have. Select words could invite other things that were less pliable than her friend, and more prone to acting in less than benign ways. Bad enough there was just one of Its kind present; it didn't bear thinking what kind of chaos more than one would excite, especially with the Open Court coming.
Teela gave herself a hard shake, irritated that she was lapsing into bad habits again. Best put this business to bed and get herself gone. "Orko, listen to me very, very carefully," she ordered, and the Trollian's eyes met her's.
"What you see here must remain quiet for the time being, understand? You cannot, must not, tell anyone else."
"But…"
"No, Orko. Much has happened since Adam and I…returned…"
"Returned? Returned from where?"
"That's…that's not important right now. Know that our…that we are now much, much older than our bodies suggest."
Orko tilted his head to one side and regarded her again. "Is that why your hair looks shorter and there's…is that a mask you're wearing?"
"You alone can see that, Orko. You mustn't – must not – so much as hint you see these things!"
"Why?"
"Why? Why?!" Teela actually found herself sputtering in response, and very, very nearly let loose a single syllable Word that surely would've shattered every mirror, glass, goblet, and jewel in the Palace. No-one - not even Nyssa at her most obstinate - had questioned her so directly when it came to these things…yet this small creature, who should have known better than all others in this place, did so without the slightest hesitation…as if his judgment was paramount? Destruction was the very least he would suffer for such an affront!
There was a small touch on her arm, and a smaller voice that rang in her ear asking "Teela, are you alright?" Her rage, so feral and consuming, dissipated like morning mist before these things. The Queen of Great Serpents shook her head once, then once more, and her vision cleared upon the soulful eyes that looked up at her.
"I…" she began, only to lose both voice and heart a beat after, too ashamed to say more and too overwhelmed with realizations to do more than simply remember to breathe.
She had been "Queen" of so much for so long, and until that moment Teela had never known nor considered the full depth of the costs that had come with that title and its many dominions. Her husband, her children, their children after them, her retainers (seen and unseen), the understanding of words and forces and all the rest of what is and how to use it in ways no other soul might know…these things were her's, and all came at the cost of knowing how to be a simple, unadorned, imperfect, irreplaceable and precious…human.
The mother wyrm and her sisters, whatever their form or known names might be here, surely had a hand there…and equally a hand there and then, sending her long-forgotten friend that he would return her to herself. They were no longer in the White Desert, nor in Aetheria (wherever their home is or was); she and Adam were restored to where they had come, and thus it was time for her to re-learn what she had forgotten. How very fitting it was Orko, whom none in this place truly knew or understood, would be her first instructor there.
It never occurred to Teela to voice any of this; the Trollian wouldn't understand any more than Randor or her father or likely even Adam would. Better he do as he always did, and leave it there.
Rather she knelt down to bring herself eye-level with Orko and took both his hands in hers. Teela took a single shuddering breath, then stated "I am…very old now, Orko. So old I have forgotten what it means to be anything else." She released his hands and used them now to adjust his pointed hand atop his unseen head, one way, then at a different angle, finally settling it into the same position as before. "I ask you help me to remember what it means to be…not so old."
Had he legs to stand upon, Orko would have surely collapsed in shock. "How do I…?"
"Just be as you are, so I may learn by example."
"I don't understand."
"Nor should you," Teela explained with a wry smile, giving a gentle tug on his hat's wide brim. "Just be as you are, and that is enough."
"Umm," was Orko's witty response, his nerves (such as Trollians have such vulgar things) too jangled and upset by all this to offer more.
"And I do ask, as a favor, you keep what you see in Adam and I quiet for now. Its hard enough for us to pretend to be as we appear without panicking everyone. If you were to start saying I'm missing an eye or…"
"Oh, oh!" Orko now nodded in understanding. "That makes sense," he trilled, sounding oddly enthused at this. The thrill of discovery, Teela supposed, his sudden enthusiasm causing her to grin despite herself. Knowing so much, as she did, it had become easy to forget the simple joy of learning anew. It was a gift beyond price that Orko bequeathed her, and one she resolved to repay him a thousandfold.
He was speaking to her again, and in her distraction Teela nearly missed the words. "Sorry, what?"
"I said you and Adam aren't in danger, are you?"
Only Orko would think of such a thing first. "We are…" Teela began, stopping herself before she could lie to herself so she might better lie to her small friend here. She had lived long enough to know how lies would grow and grow and grow until they crowded out truth entirely; let her soul be eaten by the Shadow itself before she put that upon her teacher. Another lesson for her this day, and who knew how many more she would be exposed to this day?
"We don't know, Orko," Teela admitted, forever uneasy with admitting ignorance of any subject. "We don't know why we were…taken…never mind why we were returned to here."
"Aren't you worried about getting taken…or whatever happened…again?"
"I worry every waking moment." This admission came easier for her, and her seriousness convinced him of the sincerity. "I'm barely able to get myself to go to sleep most nights for that fear."
"What about Adam? Does he know?"
"Adam and I were taken together, Orko. We've been together throughout all of this." This wasn't strictly true, or at least wasn't a complete truth. How could she begin to explain the ten turnings they journeyed apart – he in the mountains and her in the desert – without next going into how they'd reunited and what happened after. Orko would likely be so entranced at the story he'd surely get panicky when she told him how and why the twins had come so close to murdering both her and Adam at the end of that ridiculous battle they'd ended up in.
"So is Adam also, um…"
"He has scars of his own, worse than mine in some ways." Teela gave him another look, this one at once harder yet pleading. "He'll not speak of them, ever, and if you start to say things…"
"Do his parents know?"
"They know…they know some of this. They cannot see what you do, however."
"Oh, yes. Yes, they couldn't…can't…see any of this." Friend chose that moment to slither out and encircle Orko, causing him to fairly jump in surprise. He gave the unseen form a polite pat on its unseen head and added "They won't see this one either, will they?"
"Goddess willing, no!" Friend reacted to her voice by abandoning his tormenting of Orko and darted for her outstretched arm, wrapping itself about the limb before settling its strangely-shaped head upon her shoulder. If it had eyes, Teela was certain they would be gazing upon her like Cringer did when he'd been a kitten anxious for a belly-rub. She forced herself to ignore the silent plea and refocus on Orko.
"Can I trust in your silence for now?"
Orko nodded quickly. "Most definitely. I…I wouldn't even know where to begin…"
"Then don't be the one to begin anything," Teela suggested seriously. "If you hear gossip amongst the parlors or halls, ignore it as you always have."
"Should I tell you or…?"
Teela shook her head tiredly. "No, no. There's nothing said here that Adam or I have not already heard or don't already anticipate. Better you go on as if nothing has changed."
"Change…" For some reason, Orko drew the word out, eyes studying her very carefully. "Teela, while you and Adam were…unconscious…here, did you…are you aware of anything new about him? Adam, I mean?"
Teela nearly laughed at Orko's effort at circumspection, quickly catching herself lest her wards and glamours prove less-than-perfect in muting their voices. Doubtless there'd been mutterings and speculation aplenty over Adam's behavior in the year's since receiving the sword; Teela had been too busy using duties and well-intentioned-if-utterly-misdirected criticisms to keep herself distracted from how Adam's mere presence in the world would invariably send her heartbeat into a triple-hammer beat and leave her palms clammy and nervous to really notice or listen. Goddess alone knew how her behavior had been taken by the Maids and the Court itself; she'd have to remember to sound out Maureen on that one in the next day or so.
Putting that concern aside for the moment, Teela gave Orko a very serious gaze and stated "I am aware that Adam's responsibilities are more numerous than I previously knew."
"I've heard a lot of people don't like you because you were, um, loud about it as you used to be."
"No doubt," Teela agreed readily. "I promise I won't be as…loud…about it as I used to be."
"But you're still going to…?"
"I'm still going to tell him when he's being an idiot and fool, and exactly how I much dislike his taking needless risks that I and the Masters are supposed to take for him." This was said with another grin, one that held more fatigue than perhaps was wise to show, but which needed an outlet all the same. "I won't…I can't stop him from taking those risks, of course. Goddess knows I've tried over the years."
She felt Orko's hand on her arm again, its touch softer than before. "Has it always bothered you so much?"
Teela chuckled mirthlessly. "Honestly? I never dared let myself dwell on it, never mind actually acknowledge it. Goddess alone knows…"
Old scenarios flashed through her thoughts, none of them pleasant to think upon never mind revisit; she'd always taken the thought of Adam in danger poorly, even when she'd thought of him solely as the Crown Prince and herself as his guard. Her early success at the Guards Academy – when she gained both praise and notoriety for excelling in hand-to-hand and close-quarters drills – was due solely because she was forever envisioning putting herself between Adam and her attacker; she'd come out of it with a record number of citations for bravery and excellence there, and an equal number of demerits for 'employing excessive force during drill.'
By rights she should have been washed out after her first year, but instead the demerits were somehow overlooked and she was fast-tracked to first echelon training, which normally went only to veterans. Duncan had sworn upon a stack of parchments he'd had nothing to do with this, and Teela had never discovered how she'd been designated for it. She drove herself harder still – and was especially brutal on the 'bots who stood in for potential antagonists – as she then-unconsciously realized she was being groomed as the Prince's own bodyguard. Ironic then how little guarding Adam had actually needed when they both returned to the Capital, her hard work wasted on someone who perfected vanishing like morning mist at the first sign of hazard.
In truth, her anger with his newfound 'cowardice' had always been solely because it took him from her direct sight. Teela had always been prepared to shove Adam into a pit or off a cliff if needed to remove him from the line of fire; that he always removed himself would have been acceptable, save that for all she knew he could well have been racing into still greater danger than what he fled from, and she had never been able to follow as it left her to face that danger for the few seconds before He-Man made his appearance, and the battle never failed to occupy her thoughts and attention away from pursuing her erstwhile Prince. Her many curses and snubs upon him afterwards had been her way of covering her relief that he would emerge from cover completely unhurt.
Adam never knew these things of her, and she'd never been of the mind to tell him. What would have been the point? On Eternia, she'd seen only their respective ranks and 'known' he saw her as, at best, an annoyance to be tolerated and humored. What would he have done if he knew he occupied her every waking thought and every inch of her heart? Teela would willing endure dismissive sniffs and whispers of courtiers and so-called nobles of the land; if Adam were to join in, Teela was sure it would have destroyed her.
Why had she never thought it odd her Prince never did just that, and rather just smiled and took the abuse with that beneficent grin that always made her stomach clench…and her loins burn?
In Aetheria it had been different, and not, even after their reuniting in the desert. Different surroundings, yes, but the same problems, even with their respective ranks had been flipped and her needing constantly worry for the Scaled Horde taking offense to some gesture or word between The Captain and his Queen; her retinue were nowhere near as primitive or savage as their manner suggested, but they treasured her and the children above all else and suffered no slight to either. More than a few of the RagerBrothers sported scars from their claws before the first twinning of the moons, and all over such small utterances it was a miracle and blessing both that no-one had lost their heads.
Why had she not noticed how Adam was always at her shoulder, silent and glowering, whenever she needed to cool tempers?
"Um…" Orko voice pulled her from these meaningless ponderings, its uncertainty giving her focus to the present and not the past.
"Again, not something for you to worry over, little friend." Teela heaved a tired sigh, hoping Orko would take the hint and let it drop. The Trollian did just that, nodding and moving off. He appeared reluctant to just quit the room, but Teela had no idea what to say to put him at ease. "Queen" might have been her title for more seasons and moons than she could count, but never felt it rest comfortably on her shoulders. Adam's word always seemed to carry all the authority they needed, even though he never spoke before meeting her eyes or received a nod of agreement.
"Promise me…" She and Orko began at the same time with the same words, catching them both short and leading to a much-needed chuckle passing between.
"You go first," Teela rushed, anxious to hear Orko out.
"Um, will you…promise me…I mean…please don't…yell at Adam if has to…"
Teela sighed and forced herself to meet Orko's eyes straight on. "I promise you, I will not yell at Adam if he runs away when battle comes." She paused and added "Mind you, I promise I will yell at him if he doesn't run off, but not if he does."
This seemed to confuse rather than assure. "You'll yell at him if he stays…?"
"Of course I will," Teela assured him. "Its my job to protect him, isn't it? How am I going to do that if he's standing there – an easy target – while I'm fighting…well, whatever is attacking?"
"But you said you knew…er…he was…"
"That is completely beside the point, Orko," Teela stated, astounded at how calm and collected voice was. "He could be made of solid diamond, and my duties would remain unchanged." The sheer idiocy of the claim went unremarked upon, poor Orko apparently too focused upon the imagery involved to say more. Teela was actually rather grateful for this, if not a tad guilty; a distracted Orko was easier to handle than a focused one, and honestly his perceptions were entirely too sharp and uncluttered for her liking right then. Adam could return any moment, and while she trusted Orko's promise to remain silent about her wounds, she dared not test his calm by letting him see Adam's own. He'd been exposed to too much as it was, and she needed some distance to think on these new developments.
"I meant to ask a favor of you," she started, getting Orko's attention once more.
"A favor? From me?"
"Yes, you," Teela frowned, momentarily thrown by his apparent confusion. She sobered her expression to something more neutral lest the Trollian get a glimpse of something truly unsettling. "I'd like you to look in on the Queen while you're around."
"Queen Marlena? Why?" He was clearly not opposed to the idea, but rather genuinely curious.
Why indeed? It took Teela an extra moment to formulate a response that sounded at least rational, and would give no hint of how…unsettled Teela actually was about the Queen's reaction to them in the Infirmary, never mind her ongoing absence from Court business. Yes, she'd heard it all, paying it little enough mind until just then. Doubtless Adam was equally aware of it all and doing his level best to manage things from behind. The longer that went on however, the more likely one or both of them were to slip up somehow and panic Goddess alone knew how many in the Court, creating who knew how more problems for them all. Yet the thought of either of them, or both, going to his parent's chambers under such circumstances risked more than they dared; the venal would see it one way, the opportunists would see it another, and the rest of world might well think the dynasty was on its last legs!
But Orko? Who could possibly refuse entry to one such as him?
"We just want to know how she is," Teela finally explained. "She's taken this business with Adam and I…well, she's been disturbed, and absent from Court for a few days. Perhaps you could try to…cheer her up?"
"Me?"
"You," Teela affirmed with a grin and a nod. It was what Orko needed to hear, his posture righting and manner more confident.
"Okay, I'll…I'll try and see her."
"Thank you, my friend."
Orko quickly floated to the doors and went through them, not bothering to open them first. Teela shook her head, partially in relief and partially in unveiled amusement. She quickly sobered her expression – she was still Captain of the Guard after all, and was well aware of how many in her command were visiting Himon for calming tonics of late – and exited the parlour herself, privately relieved there were only a pair of Maids passing by. She trusted Maureen could manage whatever gossip might originate from them without undue worry. The rest of the Court she'd have to leave to Adam.
This bracing thought in her head, Teela heaved a deep breath and marched off to the residences in east wing of the Palace.
She might be young again, but damned if it hadn't been a long day!
Closing remarks: and so 2015 comes to a close, and with it, this update. For those who read my other stuff, I can only promise that I'm going give it the old college try to closing the long-dangling BSG storylines in 2016. Hopefully someone out there still wants to read it (apart from myself, of course)!
Until next time, don't be shy about reviewing, nagging or cursing. I'll take anything at this point!
Cheers, and happy new years!