AN: Because sometimes you just have to write silly oneshots, and because there is literally no way that Kudo Yukiko is not a diehard fan of the worst romance novels that you can imagine on this earth, much to her son and husband's chagrin. That's it. That's the only reason I ended up writing this oneshot. See y'all next time!

Romance, Of The Worst Possible Kind

Characters: Yukiko Kudo, Conan Edogawa

Summary: No matter what, you can't take a woman away from her trashy romance novels.

"Dad'll cry if he catches you reading something like that."

"Don't be silly, Shin-chan! I don't think your father even has tear ducts." With a light hint of teasing to her voice, Kudo Yukiko marked the page she was on, closing the book she was reading to look back at her son. He was wearing such a surly expression on his face- honestly, it didn't fit that cute child-like appearance that he had now.

"...you might have a point there, but still." Arching his brows, Edogawa Conan let out a long sigh, casting another skeptical glance towards the title of the book that she was reading. "You're the wife of a world famous, award-winning novelist. One would usually think that you would have better taste in books than that."

"Oh? What's wrong with this book?" Yukiko asked, a coy smile on her face as she tilted it a bit closer to her chin. She knew full well the reasons why her son was voicing his disapproval over her choice of reading material, but it was always fun to make him say them out loud. "I happen to think it's very wonderful. Just because you don't like romance novels, Shin-chan, that's no reason to-"

"It's not because it's a romance novel." Conan cut her off, deftly plucking the book from her hands- even if he did have to climb up on the couch in order to do it. Making a face at the cover, he couldn't help but wonder what artist they had hired to illustrate the cover, and how much they had paid them- probably not nearly enough. "It's because it's the dime store variety."

He ever so briefly considered flipping through the actual book itself, but decided to spare himself from that. He didn't really need to check for himself to see how many instances of bosoms heaving there were to know that the number was likely plentiful.

"It's not a dime store novel! I'll have you know I paid ten dollars for this book, back at the Los Angeles airport." Yukiko noted, snatching it back from him.

"In that case, you got ripped off." Releasing the book to his mother, Conan took up a place next to her on the couch. "Paying a dime for a book with that kind of title might actually be way too much money."

"And that's why you'll never understand woman, Shin-chan." Yukiko told him, lightly taping him on the head with her book. "The Sensual Passions of the Duke of Rivermore is a wonderful book! I haven't wanted to put it down even once, not since someone rudely interrupted me in the middle of reading it, that is."

"Besides, I love your father dearly, but his romances are never really that engaging. They're not bad, but..." Yukiko couldn't help but remark, heaving a long sigh. "It's for the best that he's a mystery novelist. That couple from his last novel really didn't feel like they were that much in love sometimes. Sure, they got along well enough, but, there was just something missing."

"And the Duke of Rivermore and..." Squinting a little to make out the small print on the back of the paperback book, Conan pursed his lips together. Just the cover and title alone were enough to make his head reel, but the synopsis took everything to a whole new level. Not only was this a terrible romance novel, it was also apparently, a terrible supernatural romance novel. "...his faithful maid, Elizarelle- which isn't even an actual name, I'm pretty sure- do?"

"Well of course they do! I'm only halfway through the novel, and they've already slept together three times now." Yukiko commented, a sly grin crossing her face at the way her son's face colored at that comment. "Now, now, Shin-chan, if you get shy just hearing about that sort of thing, you're going to put poor Ran-chan through all sorts of troubles in the future~."

"Shut up. Don't talk so freely about stuff like that to someone who looks like a child." Grumbling to himself, Conan pushed himself up off the couch. "Well, suit yourself, I suppose. I guess there's a place in this world even for terrible romance novels."

"That's the spirit!" Nodding her head, Yukiko opened her book back up, pausing only for a moment. "Ah, that's right. If you're going downstairs to where Ai-chan is, tell her I should be done with it in about thirty minutes. After that, as promised, I'll lend it to her!"

"...Seriously?"