Chapter 17

The moment Maria stepped from his side Thor was hot on her heels.

He flew out the door after her in seconds, but she was faster then he'd expected, her nimble form already nearly at the end of the corridor. "Maria!" he called after her, his voice still rough. Fast or not, she could not outrun a god: in a few long, sprinting steps Thor had closed the distance. He caught her arm as she turned to shoot down another corridor, jerking her back so her body thudded into the wall harder than he'd intended. He didn't have time to be sorry though. There were more important things to be said.

For a moment he just held onto her arm as she struggled weakly, watching the way gentle tears rolled down her deathly white cheeks. He was breathing hard, for reasons he didn't understand.

"Maria," he said again, softer, moving closer. "Is it true? What the Stark man said?" He gulped nervously, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear it from her own lips. "Is it true?" He couldn't bring himself to say the actual words. To ask if she had really tried to – he swallowed hard – kill herself. He couldn't even imagine it…

She covered her face with her hands and let out and anguished whine. "I didn't want you to know. It was a long time ago. I didn't know you then."

"You could have told me…"

Thor wished he'd known. He wished it so hard it hurt: he wanted to know everything about her, good and bad. Finding these things out from the likes of Stark was not how he wanted his relationship with Maria to progress. He tried not to feel to selfish, brushing aside his hurt to try and think of how bad Maria must be feeling about everything. It wasn't hard: her hands slowly peeled down and she forced a few level breaths, collecting herself. Thor founds he preferred her distraught to the blank, vacant mask that formed over her face, eyes dulling almost lifelessly. He moved his hand from her arm to plant it on the wall beside her head, needing to be closer to her. It wasn't enough and he dropped Mjolnir to the floor with a metallic thud, cupping her cold cheek in his palm.

"Maria…" he breathed over her lips. She didn't respond.

"I didn't know you back then." She repeated, quietly, eyes distant as they hovered somewhere over his chest. "I didn't know what else to do."

Thor's breath hitched in his throat. "Tell me." He implored. "I will not judge."

A sad smile flickered over Maria's lips and Thor's heart leapt that she was showing signs of life again, even if it were ones of distress. He offered no resistance as she numbly nudged free of him, wondering a few steps until her back was firmly to him. She let loose the tears now that he couldn't see.

"Remember how I said that what Jason did was his way of coping." She started, trying to keep her voice level, thankful the corridor was deserted. She sucked in a deep breath. "Well…I didn't cope."

Thor's eyes watched the back of her head, frowning. He knew that she was crying, and every fibre of his being was telling him to stride forward and gather her in his arms, to hold her tight and let her sob into his chest until she would spill everything to him. Something held him back. He wasn't sure if it wasn't his own dread: this was a story he didn't want to hear, but one he needed to know regardless. Asking Maria to confront the shadows of her past, after all the things they'd already faced together, was something that tore him apart. He could only imagine what it was doing to the small woman in front of him, hugging her arms around herself, stroking the fringes of the bandage on her arm underneath her shirt.

"I could cope after dad died," she finally went on. "I didn't know what to do. So I took my mother's antidepressants and downed a bottle's worth, hoping it would kill me too."

Thor held his breath.

"It didn't work." A small, humourless chuckle seemed to bounce off the corridor walls. "I spent a week in the hospital when they found me. My heart was in a bad condition for a while after that. I don't know if it was that that helped cause my mother's death in the end, knowing I couldn't take it."

Her voice broke with the last note, and Thor's will snapped with it. He couldn't take it anymore, striding forward and crushing her back to her chest, ignoring the way the wound beneath his armour throbbed slightly as she tipped her head back against him. He nuzzled her neck with his lips tenderly. His heart thronged as Maria's gentle hands gripped hand at his around her middle. Not to pull him away – to anchor him in place. She needed him again, he realised. Thor laced his fingers through hers and clung tight, pressing his mouth softly against where her jaw met her ear.

"I tried to deal with things after mum died and for a while I got by." She went on, closing her eyes against the tears and leaning back into Thor heavily. "Then Jason changed and I really couldn't cope. I hated life too much… so I tried again. I overdosed on painkillers and tried to slit my wrists for good measure. I've still got the scars."

She lifted a hand from him, baring her wrist to him. Thor's eyes scoured over it, catching the unmistakable paler strips of skin that crossed over her veins. His heart ached in his chest and he caught her wrist, holding the scars to his mouth as if he could kiss them away.

"You should not have had to go so far." He murmured against her skin.

"But I did."

Gently, she eased herself out of his arms, still holding on to his fingers and turning to face him. Her eyes glistened, round, begging him to understand. "I didn't want you to know that about me."

Thor felt helpless. He didn't know what to do. Just looking at Maria he was conflicted. She looked so fragile and delicate, her emotions shining from her shimmering orbs, but he didn't know what to do. He wanted to kiss her mouth. To hold her body to him. To move his lips over every part of her that had ever been hurt as if he could seal away the pain, but he didn't know where to start. He wanted to cover every inch of her with his kisses, but he simply didn't know where to start, half afraid that if he started he'd never be able to stop. His chest heaved with indecision.

Maria's eyes glistened at him, waiting anxiously for his reaction. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Thor's mind was made up for him as the small woman stepped into him, laying her head gently on his broad chest and gently wrapping her arms around his waist. She felt as delicate as paper. Thor didn't dare move for a second, trying to collect his thoughts.

Finally, he moved one hand to her back, gently stroking her in a feather light touch. He wasn't sure if she wanted more or not, but Thor didn't trust himself. He pressed his mouth to the crown of her head, and sighed a breath of content as she tightened her hold around him needily. "You need not apologise." He breathed, inhaling her essence as she held herself close to him. Emboldened, his hand moved to the base of her neck, thumb hooking under her chin as he peeled her back slightly. He angled her to meet his gleaming blue eyes, her lips parted slightly. "I just want a promise." Thor spelled out clearly, feeling his heart clench hard. His voice trembled slightly. "Promise me you won't try it again. I couldn't bear it."

He already felt broken just thinking about it. Imagining a life without Maria was incomprehensible…

"I promise." Her eyes gleamed, a small smile flickering at her lips. Her shoulders gave a light shrug. "I'd miss you too much if I did."

"I'm serious." Thor growled.

"So am I. I don't want to lose you."

Thor just stared, eyes delving hungrily over her face to see if she was joking with him. Her eyes stayed firm and resolved, a small but not mocking curve to the corner of her mouth. She meant it...

He tugged her to him hard, throwing his strong arms around her shoulders and hugging her tight, closing eyes and just basking in her. Her gasp hit his ears and he tightened his hold, feeling her hands claw into his back. But not in a bad way. He could feel his need for her growing uncontainable and he leant her back just enough to crash his mouth on hers, devouring her lips with hot, passionate kisses.

XXX

Maria strolled back into the lab with Thor's arm draped over her shoulders. Her eyes glared slightly over Stark - while Thor's were furious enough to make the genius flinch, as the god remindingly tossed Mjolnir in his hand! - and she led Thor to the wall, holding the staring gazes of the rest of the team levelly.

"Everything okay?" Banner asked hesitantly.

Maria glanced up to Thor, folding her arms across her chest. "As long as he remembers his place." The God pointed the hammer in Stark's direction, voice rumbling with dark warning.

"You had no right Stark." Rogers added quietly from the corner.

"Get over it Rogers," Romanov drawled, still perched on the table, speaking for the first time since Maria's arrival. "Don't make this personal."

Rogers glared at the agent. "Stark made this personal for her."

"Just because she's English doesn't mean she's Peggy." Romanov snapped coldly, locking one of the mechanisms of her gun together with a sharp crack that made Maria flinch. "Don't make this personal."

"And if you thought that was bad, Cap, then wait till you hear the rest of it."

Eyes flew back to Stark, temporarily forgotten in the Rogers-Romanov exchange, finding the genius once again trawling through the files on the monitor screen. His blue eyes flickered to Maria, but couldn't hold her frowning gaze for long. Was that worry she caught? Alarm bells rang in her head instantly. "There's nothing else about my past." She said, brow furrowing even more as she scanned through the memories of her life. No, there was nothing else. There were no other incriminating secrets. They knew everything now.

Stark finished tapping and straightened up, finally rolling his eyes back to Maria. They were unreadable. "It's not about your past." He said slowly. "It's about your future."

Maria's lips ghosted open. "I don't understand."

"Speak plainly."

Maria completely ignored Thor's demand and the way his arm stiffened around her, shrugging him of entirely as Stark span the screen to face her. Her gaze eyed it cautiously for a moment before she finally found the courage to move: she wondered forward with slow steps, not sure she really wanted to see exactly what the monitor said about her. Her heart thudded nervously in her chest as she neared it, making out her face in the corner of the screen.

"Loki needs something to kick start the cube. The key." Stark went on as Maria advanced painfully slow. "You father did more than just prepare." he revealed in a dark voice that made Maria's head spin with worry. "He found it."

Maria's eyes flickered to Stark as she closed the gap between her and the monitor, putting off reading the information for just a heartbeat longer. Still, his face was expressionless.

Her eyes rolled back to the screen and scoured over the file.

"It's you."

You could hear a pin drop in the silence that followed, even Romanov pausing in her manipulation of her gun to see Maria's reaction. All gazes flew to the young woman at the screen, eyes gleaming and mouth open in disbelief as she read over her true identity.

"It can't be." Thor said across the room, though it sounded a million miles away to Maria's ears.

Stark ignored him. "You have an energy inside you, not dissimilar to the chest piece I've got in me, only yours is natural, woven into your being. Releasing that energy would unlock the cube." Starks voice seemed to echo tauntingly in Maria's head, feeling her knees tremble beneath her. "Loki was seeking out you, not your father."

"Maria is what he wants?"

Maria flickered her eyes to Stark, her chest starting to heave with panicked breaths.

The genius held her gaze rigidly. "Maria is what he needs, Hammer Boy. Without ripping the energy out of Maria, Loki can't use the cube and summon his army." He let out a heavy sigh. "She was his target all along."

A stark icy numbness washed throughout Maria's body and her hand reached out for something – anything! – to lean on. She found nothing and her breaths quickened sharply, the world spinning sickeningly even though she was staggering back straight. This can't be happening, she gaped in her head. This was just a precaution. He can't want me…

The evidence said otherwise.

"Maria!"

Thor's voice echoed in her head, seconds before the pressure of his hand touched at her elbow. His face span over her field of vision, her chest locking painfully tight. "I can't breathe!"

Her knees finally gave out beneath her and she was vaguely aware of Thor leaning over her his strong arm catching her back. She could see her fingers trembling on his chest, feeling the warmth of his touch as he frantically brushed her hair back from her face.

The last thing she saw before the world went black was his beautiful blue eyes looming in closer, his perfect lips murmuring her name.