Chapter 19

Maria thudded the side of her head against the wall, dully eyes staring from the window. Well, it wasn't a window exactly. She'd found a small, secluded spot on the Helicarrier, a tiny little corridor too small to house any rooms even, but it had a number of groves in its walls (perfect for hiding if someone would walk past) and a tall wall of clear glass at the end. The 'window' rose all the way from the floor to the ceiling, and Maria sat with her knees hugged to her chest, staring out at the dark night longingly.

She hadn't been awake long. About three hours ago, maybe four, she'd blinked herself back to consciousness in an unfamiliar room, her body placed delicately on a bed with the sheets tucked in neatly.

That alone had tipped her off about who had done it: Thor. It hadn't been the only sign of his presence though. A chair had been abandoned by the side of her bed, with Thor's unmistakable red cape draped over the back of it. Maria could just imagine him sitting there, holding her hand as he waited for her to wake up.

She'd waited for him too.

She'd hoped he'd come back to see her again, waiting patiently in the bed for his return. She needed to see him again. But after an hour of waiting and staring longingly at the caped chair, she'd finally conceded defeat and had changed for bed.

The shorts and tee were nowhere near as comfortable as one of her oversized night shirt back home – nor Thor's black shirt, which she had grown quite attached to since her hangover – but she didn't have much else to choose from out of the limited chest of drawers S.H.I.E.L.D had supplied her with. The clothes weren't even her size, the tee ridiculously baggy, revealing a generous amount of bra beneath it as it hung from her figure. Or maybe she'd just lost weight. That wasn't all that unfeasible. Having her brother go on a shooting spree, getting shot twice, having the most important person in her life find out she'd tried to kill herself, and finding out that a god essentially wanted her dead to complete his scheme …yeah, pretty stressful stuff. She could be excused for dropping a few pounds.

She must have been out for a long time for night to have swung round again, but the hours of unconsciousness hadn't given her much rest; she'd felt exhausted. Perhaps that was where Thor had gone, she wondered, to get some sleep of his own. She wasn't sure how long she'd lain there in the dark room, tossing and turning and praying for sleep, but not getting any respite.

It was torture.

It didn't feel like long before she'd finally slipped from the bed and left, feeling alone and awkward. She'd never sleep in that room, she decided. She wanted to feel like home again. And home wasn't in a cold, fake room like that. It made her feel like a mental patient or something.

Sitting in the corridor now, she didn't want to go back. Thor's cape would be waiting for her, reminding her ever more of the god's absence. She screwed her sleepy eyes shut. She really needed him. Just to hold her and tell her it was okay. Just to be there. His presence alone made her feel untouchable, like he was a wall of muscle that could guard her from anything.

She felt empty. Everything was just wrong. She couldn't help but think the only way people would remember her now, thanks to Starks little betrayal, was as the suicidal girl who the God of Thunder Thor had a fling with. Her arms hugged tighter around her knees and she tried to control her thoughts. Getting depressed would only make things worse, no matter how tempting it was. She'd promised Thor, hadn't she? That she wouldn't do anything stupid again, and getting depressed was a serious step towards that dangerous direction.

She ran a hand through her hair and breathed deeply. She'd made a promise. She'd promised Thor that she wouldn't try again. She had to cling on for his sake, no matter how much it hurt.

Sleep, she decided, growling inwardly with frustration. She needed sleep – that would drive these thoughts from her mind, if only she could just sleep and forget it all.

She sighed and nuzzled her nose in the crook of her elbow, hugging her knees. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy.

"Maria."

She was too far gone to react much, too numb with loneliness as Thor's voice breathed from the corridor behind her, quickly followed with the urgent, weighted sound of his footsteps. Maria didn't even open her eyes again until she felt his arms close around her body, his head bowing into her neck and shoulder.

She gasped as Thor's hold almost painfully tightened, pulling her back onto his lap. Her eyes darted open sharply. Her hand clutched over his massive forearm, turning her head as far as she could: he still wore his armour, his cape around his shoulders, even though the hammer was nowhere to be seen. His hot mouth clung to the space where her neck and shoulder melted together. "Are you alright?" he asked, a rough edge to his voice. "I returned to your chambers but you had vanished."

So that's how he'd got the cape back, she realised, numbly surrendering to the comfort his somewhat hasty lips brought. "I couldn't sleep."

She felt slightly more self-conscious than normal, knowing that the shorts and tee threw every aspect of her figure out for scrutiny. There was no hiding, unlike under her shirt. If it weren't for her underwear, she would have felt as good as naked.

She shifted uncomfortably, turning her fluttering eyes back ahead to the blackness outside the window.

Thor followed her gaze, blinking through his eyelashes. "It is not the same as in the village, is it? The sky. The stars look different."

"I wouldn't know." She murmured, gaze dulling. "I don't spend much time looking at stars."

"You have different constellations to Asgard."

Maria squirmed in his hold futilely, but Thor's arms just clutched her back tighter against his rock hard chest. What was going on?, she wondered silently, a light frown tugging at her brow. There was possessive and then there was this! She pushed it aside, embracing the way her heart thudded back to life under his touch. "Make it rain." She moaned, rolling her head back against his hard, armoured shoulder. "I don't want to see."

Finally Thor's eyes glazed in the window, replacing the sky outside with Maria's dark reflection in the glass, watching her frail form closely. In the night clothes she wore, the bandage on her arm was fully visible, and the fringes of the one on her hip were peeking out from beneath her shorts. He wondered how far they'd healed. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he could barely feel his wounds anymore. How could he tell her that while she was still in pain? Still, he thought in his head, it was the pain on the inside he needed to work on, he knew.

His eyes softened, as the urgent burn in his chest started to ease. His mouth slackened against her skin, his gaze drinking in the image of the woman that he couldn't get enough of in the glass's dark reflection.

"Are you cold?" he abruptly asked, noticing goose bumps on the skin of her legs and arms. He didn't wait for a reply as he slid her down hastily from his lap and unslung his cape from his shoulders. He moved round from behind her to her side, leaning forward to wrap it around Maria's tiny body, tucking the thick, warm material in all the right places.

Maria caught his hand in the middle of his task and held him there, her suddenly bright glistening orbs gazing deep into his.

Thor's heart just melted. Maria didn't have to say a word: without hesitation, Thor gently picked her up again and settled himself against the wall on the other side of the corridor, stretching his legs and body out loosely as the last of his armour dissolved. He laid Maria over him, her head on his shirt covered chest, her cape covered legs tangling with his. She crept her hand from beneath the cape to flatten it on his torso and he could feel her other hand clutching at his shirt, as she repositioned her head over his left breast.

Thor wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close, sharing his warmth with her. His heart pounded when Maria fluttered her eyes closed and a small, dreamy smile curved her lips.

"I can hear your heart." She murmured.

And how it's racing, Thor added in his mind as he moved his hand to the back of her head. He tried to steady himself down, to take deep, measured breaths to restore an element of his control. With the small woman on top of him like this though, it was near impossible! He wondered how he'd ever managed it back at the cottage. He thudded his head back lightly against the wall and fought to restrain himself.

Suddenly, the pressure of Maria's head on his heart lifted and the warmth on her hand on his cheek took over. He glanced down, instantly meeting her gleaming gaze. "Don't." was all she said.

Her lips were millimetres from his as lightning cracked in the sky outside, rain lashing at the window. Vainly, Thor hoped Maria wouldn't make the connection, but that hope was quickly dashed as a bashful smile brushed her cheeks and brightened her eyes.

"How do you control it?" she asked as thunder rolled, her doe eyes blinking gorgeously.

Thor's heart went into overdrive all over again, his body sensitive to the way hers moulded with his shape above him. "It responds to my instincts and my emotions as well as to my will." He explained, his voice deep and slow. Maria was clouding his mind.

She snuggled her head back into his chest, gazing up at him through her eyelashes. Thor felt her smile as she settled to listen to his heartbeat again.

He tipped his head back against the wall and tried to calm down. It wasn't just Maria that was driving him crazy; fringes of his anger, frustration and fear still clung into his system, fuelling with his passion in a risky mixture. His arm tightened hard at her waist, flattening her mercilessly against him. He heard her groan, whether in satisfaction or pain he couldn't tell, but even that struggled to pull him back to his senses.

He heard Maria gasp, feeling her chest heave fast against his, fighting for breath. "Where did you go?" Her hands clenched hard into his shirt.

He loosened his hold from crushing her body, but his grip at her waist tightened even more, fulfilling his need instead. Her body twitched less than subtly.

"Thor!"

Suddenly, Maria whimpered sharply and her hands pushed back at him, and he knew he'd gone too far. She jerked back out of his arms to shy against the opposite wall, eyes frowning at him, lips parted with a heart-wrenching combination of shock and fear. Her hand rubbed at her bruising waist through Thor's cloak.

Guilt swamped him instantly. "Maria, I'm sorry. I did not mean to hurt you-"

"What is with you?" she cut off, staring at him as if she didn't even know who he was anymore. She didn't know what was bugging him, but it was impossible to miss; the edge in his voice, the power flowing through every fibre of his being as he near squeezed the life out of her! What had happened to him? She tried not to be mad, but it was hard, her already tense emotions and the aching pain at her waist egging it on.

The glistening in Thor's crystal blue eyes melted some of her fury, though. He hadn't meant to hurt her, she realised. Her heart thudded nervously – what could have Thor, the master of discipline, losing control so desperately like that?

His head rolled to the side to stare out the window again, his gaze hardening slightly. Maria didn't miss the way his hands flexed. "I went to speak with my brother." He finally revealed stiffly.

So that was it, she breathed a mental sigh of relief. It was just his brother setting him on edge. She didn't know what Loki must have said to him to provoke such a response, to make him need her so bad, but she was glad it wasn't something more serious or permanent. Thor didn't intentionally mean her harm. Her body relaxed and she started to edge closer again.

Then something stopped her, and his words fully sunk in. "What?" she blurted, eyes widening as she scrambled back against the wall. Thor's eyes snapped to her sharply from the window. "He's here?"

Damn, Thor cursed in his head, clapping a hand to his face. It was only after Maria had passed out that the Stark man had told him of Loki's presence. He'd been intending to keep it from Maria, to avoid such a reaction as was unfolding before him. He leaned forward, reaching out to hold her, but Maria flinch stopped him in his tracks, her head turning away and her eyes screwing shut as if she expected him to strike her.

Thor deeply regretted being so rough earlier; he'd made her afraid of him. Slowly, he eased his hand forward to cup her cheek, gently guiding her back to him. Cautiously, she peeled her eyes open.

"I will not hurt you." He promised, feeling his words tug at his heart strings with their sincerity. "I swear it."

He stared deep into her dark brown orbs, waiting patiently – and fearfully! – for them to soften, for her to know just how much he meant it. His thumb stroked over her cheek, trying to prove he wasn't who he had been before. It felt like a lifetime before she finally breathed out, feeling the heat of it brush his skin, and she relaxed against his touch. A smile of relief flickered over his lips and gathered her up.

"Maria." He sighed, gently running his hand up Maria's back and shifting her body further up his.

Her hand fisted in his shirt again, her lips hovering over his. "What did he say?"

Thor stiffened again, but was careful not to clench around Maria. He pecked his lips over her cheek softly, breathing deep to release any pent up anger. "Nothing of importance." He lied.

Maria leaned into him, loosely draping her arms around his neck and dropping her head to his shoulder. "Tell me."

Thor hesitated, screwing his eyes shut. What could he tell her? What could he tell her that wouldn't upset or scare her? His mind scoured over the visit. "I do not know what to say." He finally confessed. "My brother is resolved in his ways. He will not change his mind." He felt Maria tense against him. His hand rubbed gently over her waist where he'd hurt her and he kissed the side of her neck. I told him I loved you, he added breathlessly in his head, the words sticking in his throat.

He waited patiently for her to say something, but suddenly noticed how heavy her head felt on his shoulder. Thor grinned as he tenderly peeled Maria back from his body and took in her bowed head, the way her tired eyes fluttered against their drooping lids. His hand cupped her cheek and guided it to rest against his chest, a flash of bright lightning illuminating her blissful face.

He leaned forward and kissed her the top of her head. "I think it's time you went to sleep." He smiled into her hair.

Maria only murmured an inaudible reply as Thor's arms tightened more securely around her and he rose to his feet, cradling her against his chest like a child. The cape hung off her body, brushing over the floor. Her hand stayed fisted in his shirt, her head leaning heavily on the other side of his chest. He really didn't mind. The thunder rolled deep with satisfaction outside the Helicarrier, echoing his pride. He strolled her effortlessly back to her room, moving one hand to cup her cheek, his thumb gently stroking her back to consciousness at her door.

"Maria." He murmured. Her eyes fluttered.

A smile stretched over his face as Maria rolled deeper into his chest, clinging on tightly: she wasn't going to let him simply go. He abandoned his attempt to rouse her and opened the door instead, slipping inside and closing it behind them. Everything was just how he'd left it, right down to the angle of the chair.

Thor carried her forward as softly as he could, praying his movements were not too harsh. He glanced down with every step, hoping he didn't wake her. To his relief, her face stayed mercifully oblivious, eyes closed to the world.

Her head rolled as he peeled her back from his body, eyes scrunching slightly at losing him. He laid her down on the bed, peeling the cape back and replacing it tenderly with the sheet, lingering his hands firmly at her waist and her cheek. Her faint struggling ceased as his hot breath ghosted over her face. She even smiled as his warm mouth pressed to her cheek.

"Goodnight Maria." He pecked her lips one last time, then moved to straighten up.

"Wait!"

Maria's hand clenched tighter in his shirt, her sleepy body suddenly jerking up. Her eyes were wide and glistening. Thor frowned, closing his hand over hers at his chest. He moved closer again, his distance obviously causing her distress. Sure enough, she let out a shuddering breath of relief as the heat of his body gleamed over her again.

Her eyes didn't relax though. "Don't go." Her glittering gaze pleading. "Please stay."

The breath caught in Thor's throat. His mind froze, as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. She wanted him to … stay? His heart pounded so hard it hurt at that, his lips hovering apart. "You … you wish me to stay the night with you?"

Her eyes fluttered shut, and she nodded. "I'm not staying in this room by myself." She breathed.

Thor still hesitated. "Are you sure?"

Her hand tightened at his shirt. Finally, she blinked her eyes back open and her brown eyes gleamed up at him, tinted with a hard edge. "You started this goddamned thunderstorm and you're just gonna leave?"

Something clicked in Thor's mind, something he'd almost forgotten: of course, he remembered, she didn't like thunder. At least not on her own. Thor had been with her for nearly all the thunderstorms that had occurred since his arrival, half forgetting what reaction it drew from her without his presence.

Staring at her eyes made up his mind for him. That gleam, begging him – she needed him. And he was always there when she needed him. Always. He peeled the sheet back carefully and Maria shifted herself lazily across the bed, giving him room to slip onto the mattress beside her. Maria angled her body onto her side, burying her face into his warm chest as he covered them with the sheet again. Her hand finally relaxed against his shirt, but Thor's tightened around her waist, flattening her body squarely against his.

She groaned softly, and Thor felt her lips move against his shirt. "Mm, I love you." She murmured, basking in his natural warmth.

Those simple words had Thor's will shattering.

The skies erupted.

He surrendered the desires he'd pushed aside and angled Maria's chin upward, crashing his mouth to hers the moment she was in reach. Her squeak of surprise only drove him on. He moved his mouth on hers, hot and hastily, calming the animalistic growl of need rumbling in his chest. It took a minute for Maria to get over the sudden pounce, but when she did her hands were clawing at his shirt all over again, desperate to have him nearer. She tugged him even tighter to her as their mouths devoured each other's.

Maria moaned into his mouth as Thor rolled himself on top of her, resting on his elbows to save her from the full weight of his body. Still, the pressure of him above her like that, body pressing into hers so she could feel every bit of hard muscle against her soft skin, separated by only thin sheets of clothing, made her senses hum in satisfaction. She was very awake now!

Thor rubbed one of his hands round to the back of her neck, tipping her head deeper into the soft pillows. His thumb traced circles into the sensitive parts of her skin, igniting the pressure point below her ear at the juncture of her jaw, and her lips parted in sighing bliss. Thor wasted no time in slipping his tongue into the warm cavern of her mouth, lavishing the way her body writhed lightly beneath him, her moans – so soft they were almost inaudible – humming against his tongue. He grinned against her in content. Her tongue battled lazily with his but was no match for him, quickly and easily overwhelmed by the god. Still, Thor enjoyed the struggle.

Finally, he released her for air and collapsed down to the side of Maria, rolling her over with him till she lay gasping on his chest. A smile flickered at her breathless lips. "God…" she panted, senses still tingling. "You're just full of surprises today, aren't you?"

Thor laughed heartily as he threw an arm around her shoulders, settling satisfied into the bed as Maria snuggled against his chest. He lost himself to the steady throng of her heart on his body, listening for when her breaths slowed and softened, and Maria drifted to sleep in Thor's arms. He wasn't waiting long. Only when he sure she was safely asleep did he dare move her, placing her back on the bed beside him and shifting onto his side, watching her dreaming face with a wistful smile. His arm lay draped lazily over her stomach, as he leaned in and ghosted his lips over her sleeping eyelids.

"I love you, Maria." He breathed against her sleeping form. "I truly do."