Chapter 29

"We won." Steve breathed, as if he couldn't quite believe it.

Maria didn't think any of them really could, all staring around at the still streets with wonder and disbelief. All that fighting, all that effort… it was almost too good to be true that it had paid off.

Tony's head thudded back down on the road, exhausted. "Alright... hey... alright, good job guys. Let's not come in tomorrow." he gasped. "Let's just take a day..." Suddenly his brow knitted together and his eyes focused on them more steadily. "You ever tried shawarma?" He asked. "There's a swarmer joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is but I want to try it."

A smile pricked Maria's lips, similar to the grin on the God of Thunder's face as he leaned over and clasped hands with Tony.

"What's… shawarma?" she asked. She wasn't even sure she'd said it right. "Something American that we don't get in Britain? Like pop tarts?"

Thor chuckled and hauled Tony to his feet. His hand remained firmly locked on his forearm, eyes meeting squarely, glistening with solid appreciation. "You are not the selfish man I thought you to be." The god rumbled respectfully."But we're not finished yet."

Tony turned his gaze breathlessly to the Tower. "And then shawarma after?"

Maria wanted to smile at the memories but she couldn't. Her face was too stiff, the weight of upcoming events dragging her down. She hadn't liked shawarma. Slices of meat from a spit just didn't cut it for her. For the hungry carnivorous heroes of Earth though, it had been delicious. She rolled over on the bed and her eyes and fingers traced the outline of where the bravest of the lot should have been lying.

Of course, he hadn't rested. Loki captive, he didn't trust anyone but himself to watch over him. Maria had missed him.

Dressing, showering, doing her hair… they all felt like such useless actions after fighting for her life less than twenty four hours ago. But she had to. She couldn't lie in the bed wallowing forever.

Running her fingers through her messy hair she felt the light bump on her head from where she'd hit the road, reminding her that the night before hadn't just been a dream. Hauling the shirt over her head, she was starkly reminded of the bones that should have been broken. Her ribs and collarbone tingled along with her wrist, the bones that had been shattered yesterday. Now, she was as good as new. She didn't understand how the energy had healed her so perfectly as the last of it had left her, flowing into Tony Stark but it had. It wasn't her job to question a miracle. Then she'd have to question Thor too.

She didn't linger long in the hotel room. There was business to be done, and she wouldn't miss that for the world.

Loki had to go back to Asgard and Thor was going with him. Maria didn't know how it worked but… she wasn't sure she wanted to know. What if he couldn't come back and she'd never see him again? What if all this fighting to be together ended in loneliness anyway? She'd never find a man like Thor. She didn't have to be a genius to know that much.

Closing the door behind her was harder than she thought it would be. She was all too conscious that she might just be sealing the end of a chapter of her life away with it, the best chapter of her life, the most wonderful, defining moments that had remodeled her into someone she didn't recognize anymore. And she didn't regret a day of it. Her legs carried her numbly through the hotel until they brought her out onto the strangely unaffected street. This neck of the woods must have seen very little action during the battle somehow. She walked slowly to where they had agreed to meet.

They would have all crashed at Tony's Tower but the police had it warded off for investigation. What was there to investigate? What on Earth did they hope to find? She pitied them wasting their time trying to look like they were doing the part when everything they would hope to find would be soaring to another realm within the hour. Amateurs.

They Avengers had stayed in various hotels across the city. Maria's had been closest to the meeting sight, but she was still the last one to arrive, all the superheroes gathered by the rail overlooking the city.

All eyes turned to her as she approached. She keenly avoided the brightest blue pair and settled to stand beside Steve, her hands fiddling behind her back.

She knew he'd be hurt that she was ignoring him and in truth, even she did not fully understand it. She might lose him forever – shouldn't she be making the most of the time she had left?!` She gulped hard; she couldn't bear it. The thought alone was just too much. She could feel his orbs, swamped with hurt and pain as they washed over her but she couldn't bring herself to look at them.

She looked to their side instead. Loki's orbs looked murderous over the mask that covered the lower half of his face. His wrists were bound but Maria couldn't help but wonder how strong they really were against him.

This was goodbye. Goodbye to the man that had tried to rip her soul from her body. And also to the man who had saved it.

The unmistakable blue light of the Tesseract glowed from within the canister in Thor's hand and Maria eyed it warily, waiting for it to whisk her life away from her across the cosmos. She could feel everyone watching her, her cheeks glowing under the attention. She wasn't going to crack. She wasn't going to speak, or look, or… anything. She didn't want to face the end.

Obnoxious as ever, Tony broke the silence: "Awkward." He whistled.

Maria glared at him, if Bruce's hard nudge to his ribs wasn't enough. The tears in her gaze must have crept through; Tony's eyes softened as his gaze linked with hers.

She cursed in her head, finally sensing the wetness in her eyes. Damn it, she thought angrily. So much for keeping her composure. She gulped hard and looked away, blinking madly at a random but fascinating spot on the pavement.

"Maria."

She'd barely heard the breath leave his lips before an unmistakable large hand cupped her cheek and was gently easing her face upwards. She didn't have the will to fight him. Her tearful, glistening orbs met Thor's mournful bright blue ones and she felt something inside her shrivel and die with misery. Her hand clamped down on his wrist as the tears broke through the barriers of her eyelids.

Her head bowed with her tears, but Thor's tender finger hooking under her chin guided her back to him. She bit her lip to hold back the sobs. Her lungs quivered dangerously.

"Don't weep." The god soothed, thumb stroking her cheek. It only made her cry more, tears leaking into his palm; God, she would miss him so much! Then the other side of her face was also warmed by the god's hand, wiping dry her other cheek. "This is not goodbye, Maria." His voice was low and determined, but soft and comforting at the same time. Maria wanted to close her eyes and bask in it, but she was drinking in as much of his gorgeous blue orbs as she could in the short space of time they had left. "I will not allow it."

"H-how?" she gulped, voice shaky in her throat.

His pause made her head dive again. Her hands flew to her eyes and she let herself cry. She didn't care anymore. Thor had freed her from an abusive brother, helped her see the joy in living again, given her a reason to smile every day, taken bullets for her… she loved him – she had every damned right to cry for him!

He didn't stop her this time. Maria only cried harder when he wrapped his strong arms around her body and eased her in closer, so she cried openly into his chest, tears running down his amour.

A part of her would hate herself later for making such a spectacle, she knew, but… she couldn't just pretend like she didn't care.

Her arms locked around Thor's waist and hugged him as hard as she could, as if she never wanted to let him go. Well, she didn't. His arms tightened around her body so much her shirt rode up her back, but neither of them cared. Thor buried his face in her neck and drank the scent of her in.

"I will come back." He breathed into her skin as Maria started to collect herself with shuddering breaths. "I don't know when and I don't know how, but I will. I swear it."

"Don't say that." She finally managed to choke out in a more solid voice. Maria pulled away and let her eyes mold with his, the full weight of their combined anguish travelling between their two gazes. "Please don't say that. We're both not good at keeping our promises."

He'd promised to keep her safe from Loki and she'd promised not to try and kill herself again. And how had that turned out? Badly.

Thor's fingers found hers and brought them to his lips. Where the action once fired her cheeks, all she could managed now was a small, sad smile.

"This is no mere promise, Maria." He half growled from the sincerity of his words. It sent shivers down Maria's spine. "I cannot live without you. I will return."

I won't hold my breath, Maria said in her head. All she let out on the surface though was a meek, lying smile. She was sure her doubt gleamed from her eyes though; she wasn't that good a liar and right now she didn't have the stark strength to try. Why? What was the point? Just looking at him made her heart crack just that little bit deeper. Why would she want to raise her hopes for? The fall would shatter her.

Her hand peeled from his and trailed down to his chest, closing into a fist. She pounded a light blow into his breast plate. "Come back to me, mister." Her eyes sparkled up at him with as much fake optimism as she could muster.

His sad but determined expression didn't change, his lips just hanging there parted for a second. Maria had no time to react before his hands closed either side of her head and his mouth descended on hers.

And then she was crying again.

Her hands fisted in his hair, at first to pull him away… but the taste of him was just so intoxicating and she just couldn't. He was the only thing that could comfort her shattering soul. She let him soothe her for now, even though she knew that in the long run she'd just condemned herself to a tortuous recovery period after he left. She'd need rehab to live without his kisses!

Her body arched forward, hands scrambling to touch every inch of him she could as she kissed him hard and urgently. He fired her to life. How could she possibly let him go now?

His arms crushed her body deliciously to hers, lifting her off the ground and she gasped into his mouth, loving it. The tears slipped between their lips, tingling their kisses with salt. A cruel reminder that this was no ordinary embrace.

Maria didn't even dare think of the future anymore. It just hurt too much. And once again she found herself cursing Thor for ever walking into her life in the first place. This pain was so much worse than anything she'd ever felt before, this fear, this dread, this iciness hardening over her heart now that her love was being taken away… it was like mourning her parents again.

The call for oxygen tore them apart, both gasping for air, their lips still hovering millimeters from the others. Maria's eyes stayed fluttered shut, just breathing in the sweetness of his breath.

Then he gulped the words she had been dreading.

"I must go."

Her hands rubbed the back of his neck, reluctant to let him go. This was the bit she'd been dreading; watching him leave.

She pulled in a shaky breath, trying to compose herself. She didn't notice the way Thor shifted slightly under her touch, fingers reaching into his armour. Only when the rose appeared before her eyes did she finally blink back to focus.

Her lips drifted apart in wonder as she stared at it. She'd completely forgotten. In the haze of attack, and fear, and battle she'd totally forgotten about the token Thor got for her.

"I never gave it to you." He breathed, his spare hand hooking under her fingers and pressing a hard, but loving kiss to her knuckles. It held all the conflict of emotions Maria felt within her own heart. Her unclaimed hand reached up and cupper the flower of the rose, the beautiful petals almost curving into her touch. "Take it. And remember me by it."

Her eyes flickered over the flower to his intense crystal blue gaze. "It won't last forever, Thor." She said quietly. Then what would she do? When she had naught but her memories to keep him in her mind…

And his clothes. Oh God, how torturous. Maria knew what shirts she'd be sleeping in from now on, needing to feel Thor's warmth around her in place of his strong comforting arms.

"It won't need to."

Her saddened eyes refocused on his, teasing a small smile once more. Again, she pretended she believed him.

Her finger trailed from the head of the flower down to the stem and pinched it lightly, just enough to hold it upright as Thor's hand fell away. It found her cheek, fingertips lacing in her hair. Maria let Thor's bright, almost pleading eyes hold hers, glistening with the same fragile emotions she felt inside, only his was cracked with bold determination.

"I promise, Maria." He breathed, his lips easing forward again. "You have my word. I swear it to you. There are not enough ways I can vow my return to you." His mouth pecked forward, grazing fondly over hers. "Wait for me. Please."

Maria's eyes fluttered, throat suddenly dry. The hand that wasn't holding the flower rose to Thor's on her cheek. "Forever." Her voice was far from steady.

Then the world seemed to stop.

Maria just felt unbelievably numb. She couldn't move as the god melted away from her. His body dragged reluctantly to the Avengers, his eyes following seconds later. Maria couldn't hear anything as he exchanged brief words with Tony Stark and then Erik Selvig across the group. She could feel anything since his touch left her.

He was stronger than she was, Maria thought to herself. She'd never be able to say goodbye. Her hands were trembling.

She could feel her eyes moistening again but refused to let herself cry, gulping back the anguish she felt as Thor stepped back to pick up the capsule he'd left on the ground. He lifted it as slowly as if it weighed a hundred tons. His glistening eyes pierced through hers.

Maria knew she must be crushing the rose stem with her grip but she didn't care, not even daring to blink as the god reluctantly held the canisters end to his brother. His orbs were swamped with the same absolute despair that Maria was sure was in hers. And she just didn't care about anything other than that. Not anymore. To her, as soon as that glorious man was gone, he took her life and her heart with her.

So she ran. Forward.

Maria threw herself at the god, running, pumping her arms with everything she had, knowing it only took vital seconds for the Tesseract to whisk Thor away. His eyes brightened and solidified with surprise. Again – Maria didn't care.

Thor's arm opened for her as she crashed into him, throwing her arms around his neck. His hand found her back and held her there.

Maria's ribs ached from the impact of his hard armour but it didn't stop her pinning herself to him, attacking his lips fiercely with hers. She didn't want him to go. She didn't. She wanted to scream and roll and beg like a child – but she knew it wouldn't be enough. He had to go. He couldn't simply choose not to.

She daren't think of the spectacle she was making of herself, focusing her mind only on the softness of Thor's lips, the urgency of their kisses. His reluctance was felt through the tense grip of his hand on her back.

She'd have her life to see the Avengers again. For Thor, she might only have the next two minutes. She wasn't going to forfeit them for nothing.

Maria fell back as her call for air grew too great and she heard Thor audibly groan, sounding brittle and weak. He was breaking, just as she was. Her arms slacked around his neck and his arm loosened around her waist, letting her touch ground again. His lips moved down with hers, hovering no farther than an inch away from her mouth.

She could feel his breath on her cheek, his gasping. "I love you." He breathed, as if she didn't already know it. His voice was cracking, along with his soul. "I love you."

Maria's eyes fluttered shut in bliss, heart breaking in her chest. She reveled in the words, memorizing the tone, the sound of his voice for however long she would need it. "I love you too." She sighed, a betraying dampness on her cheeks.

Thor's hand found the side of her head and Maria let him pull her into a hard kiss. She could feel all of his emotions in it; the anger that he had to leave, the frustration, the anguish, the love for her, the promise…Maria replied loosely, letting his being soak into her gently. Her eyes stayed fluttered shut and she basked in the essence of him, letting him lead her one last time.

Her hands fisted in his hair. God, she'd miss him!

By the time they were forced apart she didn't bother trying to hide the tears, only grateful that they were falling with silent dignity rather than noisy, messy sobs. Thor's thumb bushed over her cheek, eyes scouring over her face for as long as he could.

Maria peeled her eyes open at last and fixed them to Thor's, clamping her hands either side of his face, rose tangled in her fingers.

"Come back." She demanded in a surprisingly strong voice. Her jaw gritted to keep her composure, eyes burning with determination. "Don't you dare leave me. I swear to God Thor, I'll never forgive you if you don't come back. I order you to."

Her final plea. She'd appealed to his heart and now she appealed to the warrior in him. He was now bound by a promise and an order, a command that gave Maria strength as well as he. She could feel her insides hardening with strong resolve, feeling the control and power ripple through her tiny body. Thor's eyes never left her as her hands fell away from him, stepping back out of his reach; he would never defy her.

Her new found courage lent her composure, holding back her human emotions. Right now though, the adrenaline of ordering a god soared through her. Confidence rode with it. He wouldn't fail an order. The man in him wouldn't fail her heart and the warrior in him wouldn't fail an order.

Stepping away was easier than she imagined, drunk with fortitude. She watched, assured, as Thor's gleaming eyes drained in the same strength. His eyes were no longer tearful pools of blue; they were the determined, focused orbs of a warrior god, unstoppable.

Faith bandaged Maria's broken heart.

"Before the colour fades." Thor breathed huskily in an unbreakable promise.

The rose seemed to heat in her hand, as if knowing it was summoned to importance. Maria gripped it firmly. That flower now held the key to her future.

Thor's burning orbs severed from her for a second to glance at his brother, their combined grip never leaving the canistered Tesseract all through Maria's spectacle. When he looked back to her, Maria was reminded of the phrase 'get it over and done with'. As if the sooner he left, the sooner he could come back.

She read it in his eyes, cushioned with impatience, and knew she wasn't the only one thinking it. A small, satisfied smirk settled on her face – what could possible stop him coming back now?

She was still smiling, even as Thor twisted his canister end with a definitive click and the pair of them vanished, glowing bright blue around the edges before shoots of light a few meters into the air blurred them. When it cleared, Thor and Loki were gone. It had been less than a second.

Then the smile died on Maria's face as the truth came crashing down on her. It was sickening. Her spare hand found her stomach as she fought the violent urge to retch.

What could stop him?

Everything! His father, his duty – pure physics! The colour drained from her face in quiet, still horror, eyes staring at the place he'd once stood as if he would magically reappear. There was no hope in her gaze though; just mute, numb disappointment. The organ in her left breast turned to stone.

"So…" Tony Stark let out a low whistle, and Maria was vaguely reminded of the real world around her, the clad of superheroes over her shoulder. She didn't turn to see them. "If you need a place to stay, I can…"

His voice was soft. Compassionate. Maria's jaw gritted hard. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, the bitterest hero's comfort only stinging the hurt in deeper. The tears loomed again and her chest constricted against the breaths she was unwilling to take. She didn't want to breathe anymore, not without Thor. The height of that tower looked awfully friendly again.

A wave of ice crashed over Maria and her hand hung numbly at her side. The rose fell through her fingers.

"No." she murmured in a voice so broken, so defeated it killed her inside. Her eyes started to gleam at nothing, just … glistening. Lost. Lonely. Afraid. "I want to go home."