chapter word count: 458

noir heart: ninety

The information from the examination still heavy in his mind, and having promised his discretion regarding the romantic dalliances in the workplace - though he'd be lying if he said Hiccup wasn't lucky, Astrid is one hell of a woman - Jack pushes open the door to their investigation room ready to bounce a few ideas around.

Except there's another occupant in the room, perusing the whiteboards with a little too close interest.

"Cap," he frowns, freezing in step so abruptly that, uttering a surprised curse, Aster nearly walks into him.

Captain Moors' eyes snap over to his, and she steps back from the boards, clearing her throat. "Detectives," she greets them tonelessly.

Still holding onto the door, Jack moves aside so Aster can pass, yet keeps his gaze firmly locked upon his superior. "You shouldn't be here, Cap," he points out.

"Conflict of interest." Aster adds, pulling out a chair and flopping down with his left arm on the table. "You could shoot this case down before it even starts."

"I am aware of correct procedure, Detectives Frost and Bunnymund. I am merely here to update you on something," she says, turning with Jack as he circles the table and parks himself in the chair opposite Aster.

"What's that?" the Australian asks, leaning forward slightly.

"Your killer has been given a name."

Jack groans, and dramatically flops back on his chair like he's been told single people need relationships to be successful, and loudly at that. "Oh God…"

Aster chuckles to himself, and in amongst his frustration he can hear the disdain in the good Captain's voice. "It was coined by our favourite reporter Gothel."

This time, Jack rather theatrically-slash-immaturely folds his arms on the table and buries his head in them. "I don't want to live on this planet anymore…" he whines.

"Do I wanna know?" Aster asks. Bastard - he's only doing that to watch Jack squirm, and he knows it.

Captain Moors takes a deep breath. It's probably going to hurt her as much as it does Jack.

"Your killer has now been called Cupid."

Jack's shoulders jerk as he lets loose a series of overly-dramatic, exasperated whimpers into his arms - like he's crying.

"Mate, what's with you?"

Looking up, Jack fixes his partner with an incredulous stare, as though Aster is full of the same stupidity as Gothel. "King of Hearts. Queen of Hearts. Breaker of Hearts. Heartbreaker. Eros. Venus. The fucking Love Killer. All of those names, and Gothel decides to name him after a fucking winged baby in a diaper that shoots arrows at people's butts. I wouldn't be surprised if he kills her on principle."

thought a little humour was in order, even if it's dark humour. I also couldn't resist a bit of snark at a certain Frozen 2 movement on Twitter. doomstone: The term "unsub" is short for "unknown subject". In Criminal Minds, the profiling team uses it in lieu of the perp's name.

special thanks to: vrupd.1992, hornedgoddess, oninoko, jpbake, doomstone and heartonfire for the reviews.