Author's Note:
This is a continuation/soft reboot of the time travel tale "Hair of the Grim" by Nightmare Sired Muse, with a bunch of changes. It also contains many concepts, lines and situations from the grab-bag that is "Odd Ideas" by Rorschach's Blot. Both are used with the permission of their original authors. The Harry Potter series belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I do not own Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland, Anchorman, Austin Powers, Avatar: the Last Airbender, Blackadder, The Barber of Seville, the Bible, Discworld, Dragonball Z, Evil Dead, How It Should Have Ended, Farscape, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Futurama, Game of Thrones, Inglourious Basterds, Great Expectations, Heart of Darkness, Indiana Jones, Inuyasha, Keeping Up Appearances, Lolita, The Lone Ranger, The Marriage of Figaro, Mazes and Monsters, Monte Python, Naruto, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Pinky and the Brain, Pokémon, Popeye, Ranma ½, Red Dwarf, Robot Chicken, The Simpsons, Snakes on a Plane, South Park, Star Trek, Star Wars, Terminator 2, The Thousand and One Nights, Troll 2, Tomb Raider, Yes Prime Minister, White Chicks, and the works of Edgar Allen Poe, HP Lovecraft, Roald Dahl, Shakespeare, or anyone else.
Rated M for some violence, language, drug use and sexual references. Nothing explicit.
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Recommended Fanfiction of the Week: "Harry Potter and the Turn of the Shrew" by Suekeiichi Kaiton.
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Chapter 4 – The Right Rite
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Better keep your distance from the crimson crime warpath
She'll cut your heart like diamonds, end of story
You bet you're gonna lose it to that hell-bound crimson glory
– Redhead Walking
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"Where are you going?"
Harry turned at the sound of the recognisable voice. Lily stood alone before him, her arms crossed authoritatively.
"Does it matter?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"You're supposed to be heading back to the Tower."
He cocked his head. "If I'm not mistaken the sixth years' curfew doesn't go into effect until ten. I should be fine for at least the next hour and half." Seeing that Lily didn't plan on letting the subject go, he propped himself up against the wall. "Shouldn't you be showing firsties the way to classes or helping underprivileged students with their homework or whatever else it is that Head Girls do, instead of stalking me around the castle?"
"I'm not stalking you — I just happened to see you heading off this way," she defended. "You've already destroyed public property, made spectacle of yourself because you had no self-control, and your 'best mate' has just lost Gryffindor 65 points for transfiguring Severus into a dungbeetle — don't you think it's wise to call it a night?"
Reaching into his pocket, Harry withdrew a powder-blue cigarette that looked as if it had been rolled by hand. "First off," he started, pausing to wandlessly ignite the cigarette hanging from his lips. "Despite popular belief, I'm not James Potter or his minion — so you trying to hold me accountable for his 'evils' is patently unfair. Second, I've abstained from any behaviour to warrant your suspicions. If anything, I've been on my best behaviour. So what exactly is your problem with me?"
Lily was momentarily taken aback by his frank tone. Not used to having an actual conversation with the boy, she was left unsure how to respond. "You're not wearing your dress slacks and smoking is prohibited upon the castle grounds," she finally pointed out.
Harry sent her that same genuine smile she had only seen once before, as he took a long drag of Peter's bad habit. "This," he said, indicating the smoke between his lips, "is made up of the leaves of a plant known simply as Melancholia. An apt name, for you see, when its smoke passes into your bloodstream it causes the smoker to experience an overwhelming sense of melancholy. They say its effects are comparable to that of a person who's lost a loved one, and I can confirm that that 'they' are correct."
Lily gave a horrified gasp as she watched him take another drag of the blue drug. "Why would you smoke that if causes you such pain?" She surprised him with the look of deep remorse she wore — if he hadn't known any better, he'd have believed she were the one causing him such heartache. "If you're unhappy, why would you want to make those feelings worse?"
Harry smiled. "It's an exceedingly rare event, but every once in a while the leaves have the opposite effect on the smoker. Instead of causing them heartache, it shows them what it feels like to love … and to be truly loved." Harry could already feel the drug's effect starting to overtake him, as he watched his future mother try and comprehend. "So I think I'll keep on smoking this, rules or not, thankyou very much."
"Why?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"To remind me of my loved ones who died, disappeared, or are so far away they might as well be either of the above. To remember what it felt like to be surrounded by them. We're in the middle of a war. Any day could be my last." His answer was so vulnerable and honest that it took everything Lily had not to go forward into the poisonous smoke and give him the hug she so desperately wanted to give him. A little bit of smoke was a small price to pay if it meant getting a few seconds of that love back.
"Look at the time, Lils. If I'm to do what's needed before curfew, I'd better get moving." Pushing off from his place against the wall, he scurried off down the hallway, leaving behind a pensive Head Girl who wasn't sure what had just transpired between her and the boy she thought she knew.
"Sooner or later, you'll see that I'm not as bad a person as you believe," he called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the twists and turns of the second floor corridor.
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The barely audible patter of her flats traversing the thick, twisted roots littering the Forbidden Forest floor filled Lily's hearing like claps of Earth-shuddering thunder. Her damp and tangled auburn locks hung unrestrained in her heart-shaped face, clinging to her petal-pink lips and obscuring her vision. For what felt like the thousandth time since she had left the castle and entered the misting evening air, she anxiously brushed her locks from her eyes, attempting to remain hidden from her quarry.
It had been six days since Peter Pettigrew had shown up late and asked to be her Potions partner. Six days since she had stumbled upon Professor Slughorn and his latest client's conversation, by way of the listening charm she had cleverly shot at the sole of the short boy's shoe as he walked into the Professor's office. In which her classmate had all but bribed one of her favourite teachers into a shady, and if what the Professor had said was true, likely-illegal agreement to sneak questionable items into Hogwarts. Furthermore, from what she could discern from their words, Peter was planning on performing some form of ritualistic magic. Lily would admit to knowing next to nothing on that rather obscure branch of magic, but what she did know was that it was outlawed by the British Ministry of Magic. And that was enough to let her know of the potential dangers said rituals presented.
Since that day, she had found herself secretly tailing Peter whenever the opportunity presented itself. Watching him in class for any sign he was up to something untoward, sneaking out of the common room late at night to try and track his night-time movements, even sitting closer to him and his friends than she normally would have, attempting to overhear any plans he might let slip while relaxed and conversing with them.
As a result of her constant and unpredictable disappearances, her friends were all under the assumption that she was sneaking off to see a boy, including Severus. That had been a fun few conversations. She hadn't told her best friends nor anyone else, especially any of her Professors, what she'd overheard. Head Girl or not, it would be her word against that of another student and a Professor. But more so than that, she had remained silent for fear of revealing herself and what she knew to Slughorn and Pettigrew.
Even as she had followed the younger of the two, Lily couldn't quite bring herself to understand why it was that Slughorn had agreed to take part in such a transaction. While it was true the man liked to play favourites, the Potions Professor had always appeared to be a good, honest man. It had been evident to her from his words that he had been concerned by Peter's request, but then why had he eventually agreed? It was quite transparent to all that Slughorn could be a greedy, venal. materialistic individual, as proven by his constant need to 'collect' talented students and his love of the finer things in life, but to Lily it had never appeared as if he were the type to actually bend the law to gain either. Okay, so none of it sounded like it was illegal per se, but didn't sound firmly on the side of Light either.
Having followed Peter from the library, she cast the most powerful disillusionment charm on herself that she could manage. She mimicked his path through the twist and turns of the castle, allowing him to unknowingly lead her to the dungeon in which their Potions lessons were held and also to where Horace Slughorn's Office was housed. Silently praising herself for having the forethought to hide her scent and any noises she may have made while following him through the use of a few advanced and relatively obscure charms she had picked up during her time spent combing the far reaches of the library, she was able to slip between Pettigrew and the door as it closed without either of the office's occupants being any the wiser of her presence.
To say the interaction between the two males had been a brief one would have been an understatement. Slughorn had offered up an unusually large vial (practically a corked vase) of unknown red substance, receiving a palm-sized bag of galleons in return. Few words were shared between them, Slughorn looking at the unassuming bag like it was, well, gold, and Peter in too great of a hurry to bother with much more than the obligatory pleasantries.
As quickly as they had come, Lily followed Peter (who had conjured a hooded robe before leaving Slughorn to count his money) from the dungeons and out into the darkening evening. The smell of rain, damp earth and foliage mixing with the many woodsy, unidentifiable scents and smells carried on the gentle wind pulling at her clothing and hair.
The first generation witch hesitated for a fraction of a second before she followed the hooded teen into the aptly named Forest. So caught up in her stalking was she that the thought of retrieving a Professor and leading them to where he had disappeared into the dense woods, never crossed her mind. Had she been thinking properly, now or even over the past six days, she would have realised that it was so much more than her need to bring a lawbreaker to justice that drove her to such rash actions as trailing a possibly dangerous individual for days, and continuing to do so until she followed him into the very real dangers the Forbidden Forest presented. No, it was much more than her sense of justice which drove her on. It was her insatiable curiosity and thirst for knowledge.
A need to know all that she could about magic and the people who wielded it. It was the devil disguised as an angel upon her shoulder which drove her hunger to learn, discover, submerge herself in all that the wizarding world had to offer. It was a need that had led to her almost being Sorted into Ravenclaw. A hunger which, had the Hat not warned of the dangers such a move would place her under, would have seen her wearing the green and silver of Slytherin instead of the red and gold of Gryffindor.
For how long she had followed the black silhouette, Lily was unsure. Afraid that casting the Tempus charm would expose her, she had only the gradual transition from the barely distinguishable tint colouring the sky when they had first ventured outside, to the much fainter shade of the sun's rays that were now feebly fighting their way through the dense canopy overhead.
Stalking fluidly over and through the treacherous shrubbery and thick foliage clawing at her ankles, Lily kept what she hoped was a safe distance behind Pettigrew. Any further and she would have lost him. As it was, with how dark the Forest around them had become the further in they travelled, the space between each of the wide trees lessening every few steps, it would have been next to impossible for her to track him down once lost.
Just as the girl was beginning to question her hasty decision to follow him without definitive knowledge of what it was he was actually up to, a slight wavering of light off in the distance caught her eye. However, before she could make out the source of the far off beacon, all traces of its faint glow disappeared, obscured by the tall figure she was doggedly pursuing. Cursing softly under her breath, Lily hastened forward, her intent to discover what the light was, was driving her to be recklessly loud. It was this, her sudden heedlessness that led to what happened to her next.
Eyes trained on a far off light, she failed to notice the vast body bearing down on her from the foliage above. A vice-like grip latched on to her ankle and her world inexplicably reversed, a large, hairy form with too many watery, disgusting eyes the size of a grown man's fist, and the many long, tree trunk sized legs attached to her attacker's body.
Frozen in terror for but a moment, the panicking girl managed to whip out her wand, and with trembling voice cry out, Lumos maxima! She closed her eyes tightly against the sudden supernova of light that erupted. The beast emitted a high-pitched shriek, and suddenly the crushing vice on her leg vanished, and she was tumbling down to the ground. She hit hard, a painful thump that drove the wind from her. Opening her eyes, she could see the creature writhing in pain, but diving down sightlessly towards its prey, undeterred.
She frantically rolled to the side, barely missing the giant legs that silently slammed into the soft leaf-covered soil. Scrambling towards a nearby stone outcropping, she dived behind the nearest shelter, and shakily found her feet again. The creature, hearing her footfalls and gasps for air, lurched towards her once more, chittering in fury, its mandibles flexing ominously.
Incendio! A huge fireball erupted from her left and slammed into its face, prompting a keen of pain and rage. The beast flailed around helplessly, before collapsing to the earth. Its many limbs twitched for a time, but eventually became still as the grave. Choking on the disgusting stench of burning spider, Lily turned to find her saviour and quarry eyeing her with a mixture of curiosity, concern and suspicion.
"Miss Evans," Harry stated blandly. "Rather a surprise to find you here. I didn't expect a student of your upstanding and conscientious reputation to be slumming around the Forbidden Forest in the middle of the night."
"I could say the same thing about you," she panted.
"I was never upstanding or conscientious," he replied wryly. "But what I am is familiar with this Forest."
"What … what was that thing?" pointing a shaky finger at the smoking carcass that filled the clearing.
"One of Hagrid's 'beloved pets'," he drawled. At her questioning look, he elaborated. "Acromantula."
"Are … are there any more of these … things out here?"
He stiffened. "Funny you should say that," he murmured.
All around the clearing, a dozen more of the gigantic spiders had silently arrived. Looking around, Lily saw with a sinking feeling that the two students had been completely surrounded.
"Back to back!" Harry snapped, and they (as one) dropped into duelling starter positions. Wands raised, eyes rotating back and forth across the entire field of vision, backs to their comrade.
With enraged hisses, the Acromantulae charged. And suddenly the valley was engulfed in red light and flame, and the boy and girl knew no more.
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Lily groaned and opened her eyes. Sitting up, she realised she was still in the trackless depths of the Forbidden Forest. A quick scan of her surroundings showed not a single Acromantula in sight. This was also a different valley. At her side lay a slumbering Peter Pettigrew. She poked his belly. He grunted and rolled further away. Further poking prompted him to grumble, "Go 'way, Ron. Fifteen more minutes."
Lily had no idea who 'Ron' was, but lying around in a place swarming with dangerous magical creatures was not her idea of a prudent course of action. Standing up, she gave him a firmer tap with her foot, and with some more cajoling, eventually he awoke. Blinking, he also stood and looked around.
"Hmmm, that's not something you see every day," he said mildly, stretching his arms and legs.
Lily stared incredulously. "That's all you have to say about it?" she demanded.
Harry ignored her, busy patting down his clothes. "Let's see, wand still here, supplies still here, they were even kind enough to bandage me up."
"Who?"
He blinked. "Whoever saved us, of course."
"I see you're back with us."
The two friends whirled, wands drawn on the stranger at the other end of the clearing. Identification was impossible as the person wore a long, black robe with the cowl pulled low over its face. The voice was too soft to be able to discern any details.
"It's good to see your reflexes haven't suffered any," the figure commented sardonically.
"Were you the one who rescued us?" asked Lily. The person nodded.
"The rest of your equipment is where you left it, in the clearing 100 metres to your left. Don't forget to add the unicorn blood. Dawn is in eight hours, you may wish to hurry." With that, the robed figure stalked off into the darkness.
The two students looked at each other.
"Um, are you okay?" Harry asked tentatively. She looked unharmed, but you never could tell how Lily was going to react to anything.
Lily patted herself down. "Yeah. I'm all good. Now let's get back to Hogwarts before anything else happens to us."
But Harry was already walking off into the clearing that their rescuer had referred them to. Spotting his pack, just like it had promised, he immediately began unpacking the ingredients, adding the supplies he had in his pocket to the collection.
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"You're not even the slightest bit curious about ritual magic?" he asked. It had only taken 15 minutes of nagging, cajoling, threatening and bargaining before Lily had finally given up on persuading him to return to Hogwarts immediately. She sat a short distance away, arms folded in displeasure.
"It's a Dark Art," she shot back stubbornly.
"Some of it, sure," Harry agreed. "Doesn't mean all of it is. Especially not if it's for protection, like this is."
"I still think we should give it up and go back."
"And wait an entire month until the next time the moon is right? No thanks. By that point, I'm quite certain you'll have arranged for some sort of 'coincidental' events to occur that would 'just happen' to 'unfortunately' prevent me from coming out here to perform it."
Her mouth snapped shut. That was exactly what she'd been planning.
"Well, don't let me keep you. Feel free to be on your way," Harry offered generously. He continued to carve the appropriate runes into the flat surface of the ground he'd prepared. Merlin, conjuring marble was tiring. Two rune sequences down, two more to go. Then it was a matter of laying out the ritual circle, adding the potions ingredients at the proper points of the pentagram and voilà, Bob's your monkey's uncle.
"I'm not leaving a student, not even you, alone in the Forbidden Forest overnight."
"You don't know the way back to Hogwarts, do you?"
That gave her pause. Looking around, and to the constellations above, she realised she didn't have the slightest idea in which direction the school was located. A twinge of fear raced through her.
"I'd be more than happy to escort you back. Once I've finished the ritual that is."
"I could just stun you and levitate you back, you know."
"And then you'd be stuck out here even longer, wandering around in circles."
"What's that stuff?" Lily changed the subject. She pointed to the vial of red liquid she had observed Slughorn give to him. "Looks a bit like hippogriff blood, but it's too viscous for that."
"Re'em blood. For increased strength."
"And that?"
"Vampire blood. For enhanced speed, night vision and sense of smell."
"I'm not even going to ask where you got these."
"That's probably for the best."
"Where's the unicorn blood?" she queried, double-checking their supplies.
"I never had any. Don't know what that person was talking about."
"Will it have any effect on the final outcome?"
"No idea; the instructions I was given didn't say anything about unicorn's blood one way or the oth– what's that noise?"
They paused and listened. A quiet nickering could be heard. Looking up, the two scofflaws spotted a creature at the edge of the clearing, observing their actions curiously. A four-legged hoofed magical mammal, silver hide and a long, sparkling horn sprouting from its forehead.
"A unicorn," Lily breathed reverently. She'd always dreamed of seeing a live on in the flesh.
"What are you waiting for?" whispered Harry.
"What do you mean, Pettigrew?"
"You heard our mysterious saviour: we need unicorn's blood. So chop-chop." He pressed an empty vial into her hand. "I'm sure you know the right spells for collecting blood samples, Miss Charms Genius."
"Here's an idea – why don't you go get the insanely rare and insanely illegal potions ingredient yourself?" she replied testily.
"Because unicorns will only allow virgin females to approach them, duh," he said. "Don't you pay attention in COMC?" His eyes narrowed. "Or are you saying you no longer fit into that category?"
She punched his shoulder. "Shut it, cretin!"
"Then lay on, MacDuff!"
Grumbling to herself about pushy know-it-alls, she carefully stood and slowly inched her way towards the creature. It observed her with beautiful golden eyes, which held no fear, only amusement and keen interest in the strange beings' antics. It had to be a foal, given that it was barely as tall as she was. Lily cautiously held out her hand to its muzzle, allowing the animal to take a delicate sniff of her fingers. The a long, silver tongue unfurled and licked. She couldn't help giggling at the ticklish feeling. Feeling bolder, she reached forward and scratched the unicorn behind its ears. This prompted a pleased whinny, and a lowering of its head to give her easier access. Growing more comfortable, her hands wandered, stroking its white mane and rubbing its back. The unicorn nuzzled the sensitive joining between her neck and shoulder, causing her to squeal softly at the sensation.
"Um, I know this is a weird request but … may we please have a bit of your blood? For our protection?" She indicated herself and Harry, who had remained stock still where he was. Lily knew that for it to have any positive value, the unicorn would have to part with its blood of its own free will. Blood taken unwillingly or forcibly did have powerful magical properties, but contained a terrible curse that would haunt the user and anyone who benefited for the rest of their days. According to legend, there was more than one tormented ghost that had become that way due to abuse of unicorn blood.
The creature observed her placidly for a while, as if searching for something. Finally, it gave a brief nicker, then bent down. A quick jab of its sharp horn torn a short scratch on its foreleg, which it raised to her. "Thankyou," she whispered, giving it a soft kiss on the snout. Drawing her wand, she cast a charm used by mediwitches to extract blood, and let it collect in the vial. Remembering something, she reached into her robes and pulled out the spare apple she often kept with her to sustain her during long self-study periods, holding it out as a gift. The unicorn gave a sniff, then chomped down on it, swallowing it in one gulp. Casting one more appraising look, it turned and trotted away into the darkness.
Lily walked back to Harry in a daze. He wisely kept his silence, and continued to prepare the mystic circle.
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"No!"
"Come on, Lils."
"Don't call me that!"
"Okay. Come on, Lily-flower."
"Grrr. Don't call me that either!"
"Since you're already here, it'd be a bit of a waste if you didn't benefit from it as well."
"Didn't you say this was a secret ritual that nobody else should know about?"
"Yep."
"Then it's nothing to do with me," she replied primly.
"I think the secret's out as far as you're concerned," he replied in a dry tone. "In any case, brass tacks: Voldie-boy and his Death Eaters are killing and maiming and torturing every muggleborn and their family they can get their murderous mitts on. You're probably pretty high on their list already, given you're the most prominent, successful and popular muggleborn in the entire school. It must really stick in those pureblood bigots' craw every time you destroy them in grades and magical skill and influence! This ritual will give you extra help in defending yourself from all those bastards. It'll provide all sorts of protections against magical attacks, immunity to most poisons (especially with the unicorn's blood!), greater resistance against mind control, greater speed, reflexes, strength, energy, and assertiveness. You'll think faster and more clearly too."
"I don't like the idea of screwing around with my mind and body with weird obscure magic."
"Not even if it's to help keep you safe? And to help you keep your family and friends safe?"
"Why me? Why do you even care so much?!" she challenged in frustration. Harry reeled back. He was quiet as a churchmouse for some time.
"Because you're important to me," he finally said in a small voice. Lily did a double-take.
"What was that?"
"I said you're important to me, alright?!" he snapped defensively. "I care about what happens to you. I don't want to see you end up on the end of the Dark Tosser's wand, and I'd never forgive myself if I had a way to protect you and didn't use it." His shoulders slumped. "Especially if that one thing turned out to be the difference between life and death," he said in a defeated tone.
Lily was speechless. She'd never had the slightest inkling that Peter Pettigrew held such strong feelings towards her. He'd never so much as given a whisper of a hint (unless you counted sitting next to her in Potions class, but that was hardly evidence of anything), unlike his boorish meathead of a friend Black, who slobbered after anything pretty in a skirt, or his obsessive stalkerish leader Potter who … well, there was far too much there to unpack for this time of night.
Harry sighed. "I didn't want it to come to this, but don't make me call Life Debt on you."
"Eh?"
"I saved your life from that Acromantula earlier. That means you owe me a Life Debt. I'd never call it in, except for something like this, something for your own good. So you can either do this thing with me, and I'll consider the Debt paid in full, or else you'll have to go through the rest of your life with an unpaid Debt. Fiddly things, Life Debts," he said casually, flicking some dirt from his robe. "You never really know what sort of effects not paying one off will have on your life, your happiness, your magic. I hear the magical consequences can be quite insidious and far-reaching –"
"Okay okay I get it alright, you blackmailing son-of-a-Slytherin! I'll do the stupid ritual!"
Harry chuckled. "You don't even know how funny that insult is."
Finally the preparations were complete. Harry had both of them strip down to their underwear (Lily ordered him to turn his back and keep it that way) and step into the centre of the runic circle. It was small, so they had to squish together uncomfortably.
"I'd better not catch you taking liberties, Pettigrew, or so help me you'll be a eunuch before dawn."
"Duly noted. Okay, here goes nothing. Let's hope this turns out better than the last ritual I did."
"Wait, what? What do you mean by that?!" she demanded hotly.
"No time to explain! Here we go!"
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"You see, that ritual is a Family Secret of the House of Black. Only the Head of the House may ever know of it, or use it," Harry explained what Orion had told him, as they made their way back to school. In the sky, the first light of dawn was feebly reaching through the foliage.
"But, you told me about it – and I did it too!"
Harry nodded. "That you did. Making you a de facto member of the House of Black. At least in the eyes of Magic." He grinned. "You're welcome. Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your accession to one of the ancientest and noblest pureblood Houses of Britain! By which I mean one of the darkest and snootiest. You must be so proud."
Dodging her punch, he added, "Which also means you're under my jurisdiction as Lord Black."
Lily froze, feeling a cold pit developing in her stomach. "What does that mean?" she whispered in horror. "Does that me you can force me to … do things to you?"
Harry laughed at her ashen expression. "Of course not! Use that brilliant brain of yours, Evans! If the Lord of a House could order family members to do things against their will, how d'ya explain Sirius? Or Andromeda? How could they have openly defied their family's bigotry and fled to the Potters or Tonkses if Orion was able to simply compel them to tow the line?"
Her shoulders slumped in relief.
"You know, I should feel insulted that you automatically assumed I would trick you into magically enslaving yourself to me, for the purpose of … you know." He waved his hand vaguely. "Anyway, as it happens, there's really only one useful magical thing a Lord has over his family: he can compel them to keep Family Secrets."
She shot him an outraged glare, immediately grasping the implied meaning.
Harry shrugged. "Give me detention for being out of bounds after curfew if it makes you feel any better. But you won't be talking to anyone about this ritual without my explicit permission. For the sake of maintaining the secret traditions of the House. No ratting me out. That's a command from Lord Black. So mote it be!"
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